Authors: Sonya Clark
The afternoon slipped by as I read through Shelby’s file.
Occasionally I heard Daniel moving around in the house. He stayed out of the office and I did not seek him out. The last thing I wanted was him mother-henning me. By early evening I still had not heard from Blake. I was debating swallowing my pride and calling him when the doorbell rang.
“I got it.” I raced out of the office, wanting to reach the door ahead of Daniel in case it was Blake. Daniel was nowhere to be seen.
I swung the heavy oak door open. Blake filled the frame, his powerful body radiating energy. Unable to help myself, I touched his chest, caressing the firm muscle beneath his black shirt. “You’re here.” I almost couldn’t believe it.
“We need to talk.” He brushed past me, heading for the living room. I followed, hoping Daniel didn’t interrupt. The living room had doors which I closed, but they didn’t lock.
There was a tension in Blake’s body language I had not seen before. Maybe it was caused by the spell. Whatever it was, something clearly had him aggravated. His face was closed, eyes dark and cold. Waving a hand at the sofa, he ordered me to sit. I stayed on my feet.
“What did you do?” He stood over me with his arms folded across his chest. I reached for his hand but he took a step back.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Something’s been working at me all day, trying to get to me. I don’t know what it is but I know it’s from you. Did you curse me, Roxanne?”
“What? No, no I would never do that.” A love spell was no curse. Not really. Shit.
“Did you put some kind of hex on me?” He stalked toward me, gripping my forearms and shaking me. “You have to tell me what you did so I can fix it.”
“There’s nothing to fix.”
“What. Did. You do?”
“Nothing.” That I wanted to admit to, anyway.
“Honey.” Pausing, he ran a hand over my hair. “I didn’t know it was you at first, I just felt something working on me. I’m a sorcerer, Roxanne. Surely you knew if you did something I would have the means to protect myself.”
Daniel entered the room, holding something in one hand. He ran to the fireplace and threw it in. “Pretty sure that’s it.”
With a surge of his will Blake engulfed the object in flames. As it burned, I felt a heavy weight of energy press against me, around me, as if something was in pain. Quickly the strange feeling disappeared.
Daniel’s cool fingers touched the back of my neck, and his voice was quiet when he spoke. “Honey, what was that?”
I couldn’t bring myself to answer.
Daniel sat beside me, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I wouldn’t blame you if you had hexed him, he is pretty obnoxious.”
“Not that whatever you did had any effect on me.” Blake sounded peeved. “I’m damn good at defensive magic. Someone attacks me with a spell, it rebounds on them at twice the strength.”
I could feel the weight of Rozella’s disapproving stare just as surely as if she were standing in the room. What I did not feel was a love spell working on me, despite my feelings for Blake. I felt the same as I had before.
“Look, I know things have been rough,” Daniel said. He gestured at Blake. “And he’s an ass. But even so, jinxing somebody…that’s not you, Roxie.”
I couldn’t disagree with him there. This was definitely not normal for me. Nothing had been normal for months, why go back to normal now?
Blake butted in. “I know you’re mad about the astral projection but I never hurt you. I can’t believe you would want to hurt me, not over that.”
“I…” had no idea how to respond.
“Astral projection?” Daniel moved in front of me so he could make eye contact. “What’s he talking about?”
“It’s between us,” Blake answered. “I would never hurt you, Roxie. Why would you try to hurt me?”
This was a no-win for me all around. Either I pretended I tried to hex him and look like a psycho, or I confessed the truth and looked pathetic. “I did something I shouldn’t have, yes.” Bracing myself, I raised my head to meet his eyes. “But it wouldn’t have hurt you. I promise.” I glanced at Daniel. “I wouldn’t hurt anybody.”
“Then what the hell was that? Because that was some powerful magic you threw at me. If it wasn’t supposed to hurt me, what was it supposed to do?”
“It was just supposed to get your attention.” I made my way to the bar, going to the small fridge hidden behind it for a bottle of water.
“Get my attention?” Incredulous, Blake stared at me with disbelief. “You’ve had my attention. I’ve been calling you begging for your attention. You wanted me to come running, all you had to do was pick up the goddamn phone.”
I slammed the bottle down on the bar, water sloshing out of the open top. “I saw you with another woman. I saw her coming out of your hotel room.” Accusation weighted every word as anger thrummed in my nerves.
Confusion rather than guilt painted Blake’s face. “You mean Mindy? She’s an old friend. I buy supplies from her sometimes.”
“Mindy? Your little goth princess is named Mindy? What kind of supplies do you buy from Mindy?” Even to me, my sneer sounded weak.
“White sage. She and her girlfriend grow it in their back yard.”
“Well, isn’t that sweet?” A hole in the earth opening up and swallowing me would have been marvelous right about then. I could not have felt like a bigger idiot.
Grabbing the water, I left the room as quickly as I could. Blake tried to follow but Daniel stopped him. I heard a bit of argument between them as I crossed into the hall but there really wasn’t much point in arguing with a vampire. Daniel joined me as I reached the stairs.
He took my hand. “I saw what was in that bag. I know what Queen Elizabeth root is for.”
I climbed the last few stairs in silence, not sure how to process what I was feeling. “You two have been talking to each other behind my back. You went through my room.” It was a statement, not a question. I knew the answer.
Bubba had the good manners to look remorseful. “I had to. I knew you wouldn’t tell me what you were up to. He told me about how his defensive spells rebound and I got scared.”
We reached the door to my room. It wasn’t trashed but I could definitely tell someone had been searching for something in a hurry. Things had been moved, drawers left open, the mattress slanted and pillows on the floor. The sight cut too close to memories of my room as a teenager when my parents went through my things looking for anything they deemed “inappropriate.” Usually occult books, tarot cards, strange plant roots whose presence confused them. Once I planted a pack of cigarettes just to make them feel normal. Like parents of a normal girl.
I fought the tears but they came anyway. “I’ve got no place else to go.”
I wanted to tell Daniel that I needed a place where I felt safe, where I didn’t have to hide who and what I was. That I missed my little house and my books and my albums–oh God, all the music I lost. The Johnny Cash album covers framed and hung on the wall, pictures I’d taken in Memphis and Mississippi. My grandmother’s antique Carnival glass and the fine china that belonged to Rozella her son gave to me when she passed. Just having a place to call my own, my home, and the strong bond I’d forged with my little piece of land. Everything was gone in a rush of water and I could still feel it pulling me under. It carried away my belongings, my sense of security, and it was threatening to carry away my sense of self.
I wanted to tell Daniel all of these things but all I could do was cry. The water bottle slipped from my hand as he enfolded me in his arms. I clung to his strength, crying out my loss and frustration in big wracking sobs.
After a time we wound up sitting on the floor in the hall, his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. I finally felt coherent enough to speak. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Bubba.”
“It’s bad right now, I know.”
“I know how lucky I am to have you, to be here.” And I did, which made me feel guilty about feeling bad in the first place.
“But it’s not your home. I know it makes a difference.”
I sat up, running my hands through my tangled hair. “It’s more than just that. I can’t do anything right. It’s like I’m a broken compass and I can’t figure out which way is north. I did a love spell.” Mortification at my own behavior burned deep.
“Yeah, well, that’s not good. You’re right about that. Look, I think this is my fault, and I’m sorry.”
I looked at him. “How is it your fault I did a love spell?”
“Well, that’s not my fault. I blame that on Blake and the crazy effect he has on you. No, I mean I pushed you into going back to work because I thought it would help and I see now it was too soon. This ain’t like going back to a nine to five gig, dealing with magic. You’re not ready for it and I’m sorry I pushed.”
He had a point. Not about it being his fault, I was responsible for my own decisions. But I should have known better than to try practicing magic while I was still so unstable emotionally. I told him as much and pushed on before he could argue. “I’m gonna call Julia Epps tomorrow, tell her I have to find someone else to help her. I’ve got a few people I can call so hopefully I can get her some help.”
Daniel nodded. “What about Blake?”
That was a good question, for which I had no answer. We sat in silence for a long moment. That was another thing I was grateful for concerning Daniel–he knew when to just let me be.
Soft footsteps sounded from the end of the hall. Daniel said, “Do you want me to send him away?”
That would have been the easiest choice. It was oh so tempting, but I shook my head. “I owe him an apology.”
Daniel kissed my forehead then climbed to his feet just as Blake reached us. They exchanged a hard stare. If I’d been in a better mood I would have told them to stop eye-fucking each other. Daniel gave us privacy.
“So what was that?”
I tried to speak, working out the apology in my head, but the words stuck in my throat, jagged and raw.
Blake sat beside me, hands on his drawn-up knees. “I know what I did was wrong. With the dreams, I mean.” He laughed, the sound harsh and not the least bit humorous. “I did a lot of wrong things. But I’m sorry and I want to make it up to you.”
“Why’d you do it? Why did you come into my dreams? Why did you come back? I want a real answer, not flirting.”
His right hand opened and closed, as if literally grasping for works. “You got under my skin. I don’t know how else to say it.” He turned to face me, arranging his knees over my lap and pulling me closer. “Look, there is nothing normal or traditional about us. So let’s stop pretending. You don’t really need me to list a bunch of reasons why we should be together.” Picking up my hand, he traced a pattern across my palm. “You can feel it.”
I could. It felt like every spell I’d ever cast, curled into a spiral and leading straight to him. “It was a love spell.”
His mouth dropped open, then widened into a smirk. I knew then he would make me regret telling him the truth. “So how did you screw it up this time?”
I sighed. “You know, I have no clue. I really thought I did it right. I could feel it working.”
“It did, sort of. I could feel something but I couldn’t identify it, so I did some defensive work to counter it.”
“So it just, what, went away? Energy doesn’t ground itself.”
“What I did was designed to send the spell back to its source. Daniel been looking at you funny?”
I wrinkled my nose. “No, gross.”
“If some random guy who happened to be driving by at the wrong time starts to stalk you, we’ll know what happened. Barring that I think we can assume your spell affected no one.” He rearranged his limbs and tried to pull me into his lap. I slipped away, retreating into my room. Daniel hadn’t made a mess but I still needed to set things to right. Blake followed, leaning against the doorframe as I puttered around the room.
Despite what I’d told Daniel, I didn’t want to give up on Maple Hill. Not only did I want to finish the job, I badly wanted the paycheck. Getting back into my own place was becoming a higher priority. I wasn’t sure exactly how I’d go about that, since I no longer had a house, but sooner or later I’d be getting checks from the insurance company and maybe FEMA. It was time to start planning for that. The last thing I wanted was for Daniel and I to start resenting each other because I was living with him.
As I closed drawers and fixed the bed it was hard not to feel resentment, and to bury memories of finding my childhood room similarly violated. It burned just beneath the surface, the lack of privacy and control. All Daniel had to do was talk to me first and I would have ended the spell on my own. Hell, a few more hours of feeling like an idiot for doing it in the first place and I would have ended it.
I closed the closet a little harder than I meant to, but the sound of it slamming was more than a little gratifying. It bled away some of the anger.
“How about we make a deal?” Blake stepped all the way into the room, pulling the door closed behind him. “I’ll stay out of your dreams and you stop throwing hexes at me and we’ll see how things go. What do you think?”
I dropped onto the edge of the bed. “The baseball game was nice.”
“It was.” He knelt before me, hands on either side of my lap. “You’re not the only one putting yourself on the line here.” His voice was barely above a whisper, eyes dark as if he was willing them to keep his secrets hidden. I understood that all too well, which was why I didn’t stand a chance against him.