Red or Dead (23 page)

in her world of red.

…

On the train from London to Liverpool, from Euston to Lime Street. In their carriage, in his seat. Bill looked across the table at Ness. Ness had been at Wembley Stadium. Ness had been at the Cup Final. It had been the first time Ness had ever seen Liverpool Football Club play. And Ness had seen Liverpool Football Club win the Cup. The first time Liverpool Football Club had ever won the FA Cup. The Cup under their table now, at his feet now. Bill smiled at Ness. Ness smiled back at Bill. And in their carriage, in his seat. Bill closed his eyes. And Bill felt the wheels of the train beneath him again. Turning, turning. Their movement and their rhythm. Round and round. Movement and rhythm. Forward, always forward. And in his mind, in his eyes. Bill saw the players of Liverpool Football Club walking up the steps at Wembley. In red. In his mind, in his eyes. Bill saw Ronnie collecting the Cup from the Queen. The Queen in red. In his mind, in his eyes. Bill saw Ronnie lifting the Cup aloft, showing the Cup to the supporters of Liverpool Football Club. In red. In his mind, in his ears. Bill heard the roar of the crowd. In red. That roar that had shook the earth, that had raised the dead. In red, all in red. Resurrected in red, all in red. In their carriage, in his seat. Bill opened his eyes. Again. Bill tapped the Cup with the toe of his shoe. The Cup still there. Under their table, at his feet. In the carriage, on the train, The train back to Lime Street, the train back to Liverpool. The FA Cup coming to Liverpool Football Club. For the very first time. In history, in their history. To
LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL …

At Lime Street Station, Liverpool. Bill and Ness and the players and the staff of Liverpool Football Club got off the train. And Bill could not believe his eyes. Everywhere Bill looked, Bill saw faces. The faces of people. Everywhere Bill turned, Bill saw people. People
cheering, people clapping. And Bill could not believe his ears. People shouting, people singing. Fifty thousand people cheering and clapping, fifty thousand people shouting and singing. All singing, singing –

LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL …

At the station, Bill and Ness and the players and the staff of Liverpool Football Club boarded the bus. The bus to take them to the Town Hall. And still Bill could not believe his eyes. Everywhere Bill looked, Bill saw more faces. More faces of people. People lining the streets, people thronging the roads. Everywhere Bill turned, Bill saw more people. People hanging off hoardings, people dangling off lamp posts. And still Bill could not believe his eyes. On Castle Street, on Dale Street. People in dangerous places, people risking their lives. For a glimpse of the Cup. One hundred thousand people cheering and clapping, one hundred thousand people shouting and singing –

LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL …

At the Town Hall, Bill and Ness and the players and the staff of Liverpool Football Club got off the bus. Bill and Ness and the players and the staff of Liverpool Football Club walked up the Town Hall steps. Bill and Ness and the players and the staff of Liverpool Football Club walked out onto the Town Hall balcony. And Bill blinked. And blinked. And blinked again. Bill just could not believe his eyes. Across the square, across the city. Everywhere Bill looked, there were people. Bill just could not believe his ears. Everywhere Bill turned, there were people. Two hundred and fifty thousand people. Two hundred and fifty thousand people cheering. Two hundred and fifty thousand people clapping. Two hundred and fifty thousand people shouting. Two hundred and fifty thousand people singing. All singing –

LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL. LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL. LI-VER-POOL,

LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL …

Bill fought back tears, Bill struggled to breathe. Ness gripped his arm, Ness squeezed his hand –

I never knew until now, whispered Ness, until today, how much football meant to the people of Liverpool. But you knew, love. You always knew what it meant to the people of Liverpool …

LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL …

Bill shook his head. And Bill said, No, love. I didn’t know. I
only dreamt, I only imagined. But
now
I know, love …

LI-VER-POOL …

Now I know. But I know we have not finished, love. I know we have just begun. I know this is just the start, love.

…

At Anfield, in the dressing room. Three days after, just three days after Liverpool Football Club had won the FA Cup. Two hours before the match, still two hours before Liverpool Football Club would play Internazionale of Milan in the first leg of the semi-final of the European Cup. Bill could already hear the fifty-two thousand and eighty-two folk inside Anfield, Liverpool. Bill could already hear them singing, Bill could already hear them chanting.
We want to see the Cup!
We want to see the Cup! Ee-aye-addio, we want to see the Cup …

And in the dressing room, before the kick-off. Bill had an idea. Bill and Bob went to find Gordon Milne and Gerry Byrne. Gordon Milne with his knee still damaged, Gerry Byrne with his arm in a sling. Gordon would not be playing tonight and Gerry would not be playing tonight. But Gordon and Gerry had played their parts. And Gordon and Gerry still had a part to play. Bill and Bob brought Gordon and Gerry back to the dressing room. Bill told Gordon and Gerry to wait in the dressing room, Bill told Gordon and Gerry to hide behind the
dressing-room
door. And then Bill looked at his watch. Bill smiled. And Bill went out of the Liverpool dressing room. Bill went out into the corridor. Bill knocked on the door of the other dressing room. The Internazionale of Milan dressing-room door. Mister Herrera, the manager of Internazionale of Milan, opened the door. Bill smiled. Bill pointed at his watch. And Bill said, It’s time to go, Mister Herrera. It’s time your team went out there. Out there onto the pitch, sir.

Thank you, said Mister Herrera.

Bill went back into the Liverpool dressing room. Bill closed the dressing-room door. Bill looked around the dressing room. From Lawrence to Lawler, Lawler to Moran, Moran to Strong, Strong to Yeats, Yeats to Stevenson, Stevenson to Callaghan, Callaghan to Hunt, Hunt to St John, St John to Smith, Smith to Thompson. And Bill raised his finger in the air. Bill put his finger to his ear. And Bill said, Listen, boys. Just listen to this …

And on the benches, the Liverpool benches. The players of
Liverpool Football Club listened to the sound of studs. The studs of boots. The boots of the players of Internazionale of Milan walking out of their dressing room, down the corridor and down the steps, out onto the pitch, the Anfield pitch, and into a wall of whistles, into a chorus of
Go back to I-ta-lee, Go back to I-ta-lee, GO BACK TO I-TA-LEE!

In the dressing room, the Liverpool dressing room. Bill turned to Gordon Milne and Gerry Byrne. Gordon with his damaged knee, Gerry with his broken collarbone. And Bill picked up the FA Cup. Bill handed the FA Cup to Gordon and Gerry. And Bill said, The people want to see the FA Cup, boys. The people are desperate to see the Cup. So you two boys show them the Cup. Parade the Cup, boys. And you make sure everybody in this ground sees this Cup. Everybody on every side of this ground. Make sure you go to the Anfield Road end first. And then down to the Kop. To the boys on the Kop …

Ron Yeats stood up. Ron Yeats led the players of Liverpool Football Club out of their dressing room, down the corridor and down the steps, out onto the pitch, the Anfield pitch, into a wall of applause, into a chorus of
LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL …

And then behind Ron Yeats, behind the players of Liverpool Football Club, out of the dressing room, down the corridor and down the steps, out onto the pitch, the Anfield pitch, came Gordon Milne and Gerry Byrne, one hobbling and one limping, carrying the FA Cup, parading the FA Cup, around the ground, around the stadium, from one end to the other, from the Anfield Road end to the Spion Kop end, to applause so intense, to cheers so piercing, that the very earth shook, the very world shook.
WE’VE WON THE CUP! WE’VE WON THE CUP! EE-AYE-ADDIO, WE’VE WON THE CUP …

And on the pitch, the Anfield pitch, the players of Internazionale of Milan stood and stared, their legs shaking with fear, their eyes blinking in terror. Red fear,

red terror. In the centre of this sea of noise, in the middle of this world of red. The referee blew his whistle. St John kicked off. Smith passed to Strong. Strong passed to Callaghan. Callaghan crossed to Hunt. And Hunt turned. Hunt hit the ball on the volley. In the fourth minute, the volley from the edge of the penalty area. The volley into the top of the net.
LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL
. But now Internazionale of Milan began to find their feet. And now they
began to find the ball. Corso found space down the left. Corso found Peiró. Peiró found Mazzola. And Mazzola found the net.
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
. In the thirty-fourth minute, a free kick on the edge of the Internazionale of Milan penalty area.
And you’ll never walk alone
. Callaghan feinted to shoot, Callaghan hopped over the ball.
You’ll never walk alone
. Stevenson passed to St John.
Alone
. Callaghan slid the ball past Sarti.
You’ll never walk alone
. Into the net, into the goal.
LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL.
In the fortieth minute, Lawler passed to Callaghan. Callaghan passed back to Lawler. Lawler beat one man, Lawler beat a second, Lawler beat a third. And Lawler hit the ball. With his left foot. Hit the ball and shot. Into the net, into the goal.
LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL
. Into the goal that was not a goal. The goal disallowed. Bedlam, cacophony.
LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL.
In the seventy-fifth minute, Thompson passed to Callaghan. Callaghan headed on to Smith. Smith inside to Hunt. Hunt shot. Sarti parried the ball. The ball loose, loose to St John. And St John shot. Into the net, into the goal. And
LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL, LI-VER-POOL
Football Club had beaten Internazionale of Milan three–one.
Internazionale
of Milan. The European Champions. The Intercontinental Cup Champions. Internazionale of Milan dazed, Internazionale of Milan shell-shocked. In a sea of noise, in a world of red. Mister Herrera got up from the bench. Slowly. Mister Herrera walked down the touchline. The Anfield touchline. And Mister Herrera shook Bill’s hand –

We’ve been beaten before, said Mister Herrera. But tonight we were defeated. Defeated. So congratulations, Mr Shankly.

Bill smiled. And Bill said, Thank you, sir.

Mister Herrera looked around the ground, the Anfield ground. Mister Herrera stared up at the Kop, the Spion Kop –

But I’ll see you again, said Mister Herrera. I’ll see you soon, Mr Shankly. In Italy. In Milan. At the San Siro.

…

In the house, in their hall. The telephone was ringing. And ringing. Always ringing. In the front room, in his chair. Bill put down his paper again. The accolades and the praise. The accolades for the night before, the praise for the night before. Bill looked across at Ness. Ness looked up from her paper. From her crossword. And Ness
smiled at Bill. And Bill said, Aye, no doubt it’ll be for me, love …

Well, I’ll put the kettle on, said Ness. I’ll make us a cup of tea.

Bill smiled, Bill nodded. Bill went out into the hall, Bill picked up the telephone. Bill listened to the voice on the line –

And Bill dropped the phone –

Bill ran to the door, Bill ran to the car. Bill drove to the ground, Bill ran into the stadium. The telephones ringing. Bill ran up the stairs. The telephones ringing. Bill ran down the corridor. The telephones ringing. Bill banged on the office door. The telephones ringing. The office door of the club secretary. The telephones ringing. Bill pushed open the door. The telephones ringing. Bill saw the bags of mail standing on the floor. The telephones ringing. The bags and bags of mail. The telephones ringing. Bill saw the camp bed in the corner. The telephones ringing. Bill saw the stacks of letters on the desk. The telephones ringing. The stacks and stacks of letters. The telephones ringing. Jimmy not at his desk. The telephones ringing. Among the letters. The telephones ringing. The stacks and stacks of letters. The telephones ringing. Jimmy not in his office. Bill turned around, Bill ran again. Back down the corridor, back down the stairs. Out of the building and around the ground. To the back of the Kop, to the Archway turnstile. And Bill stopped. At the back of the Kop, at the Archway turnstile. Bill saw Arthur Riley. Bill saw the policemen. Bill saw the ambulance. Bill saw the stretcher. And Bill saw the blanket. Under the blanket, the shape of a body. On the stretcher, in the ambulance. By the turnstile, under the Kop. The body of Jimmy McInnes. And then Bill saw his wife. Jimmy’s wife.

…

In the drive, in the car. Bill turned off the engine. Bill got out of the car. Bill walked up the drive. Bill opened the front door. Bill went into the house. Bill shut the door. Bill walked down the hall. Bill went into the front room. And Bill saw Ness. Ness on her feet. Ness looking at Bill. Her hands to her mouth. Ness looking at Bill. And Bill said, It’s Jimmy, love. He’s dead, love.

Dead? How? When?

This morning, love. He hanged himself. Under the Kop.

…

In the drive, in the car. In the night. Bill turned off the engine.
In the night. Bill got out of the car. In the night. Bill walked up the drive. In the night. Bill unlocked the front door of the house. In the night. Bill opened the door. In the night. Bill stepped into the house. In the dark. Bill closed the door. In the dark. Bill put down his case in the hallway. In the dark. Bill walked down the hallway to the kitchen. In the dark. Bill sat down at the table. In the dark. Bill put his hand in his pocket. In the dark. Bill took out the chip. The red and white chip. In the dark. Bill stared down at the chip. The red and white chip. In the dark. Bill turned the chip in his fingers. The red and white chip. In the dark. The happiest day of his life. That day on the balcony of Liverpool Town Hall. The best night of his life. That night Liverpool Football Club had beaten Internazionale of Milan at Anfield. The worst night of his life. The night Internazionale of Milan beat Liverpool Football Club at the San Siro, the night Internazionale of Milan knocked Liverpool Football Club out of the European Cup. The saddest day of his life. The day he had stood beneath the Spion Kop. The day they had found Jimmy McInnes. By the Archway turnstile. Hanging under the Kop. The saddest days and the happiest days, the worst days and the best. In the dark. Bill turned the chip again. The red and white chip. And again. The red side and the white side. Two sides, two sides. There were always two sides. Two sides