Redemption (12 page)

Surah turned her head and
regarded my sister with more sympathy that I would have expected. “No,” she
said. “I’m afraid we do not want the same thing. You wish to overthrow an
empire, while I want only to kill a single man.” She paused. “And I work best
alone.”

I didn’t move from my position in
front of her, and her mouth quirked up in amusement. My left eye twitched. “The
King is mine,” I said, feeling the truth of the words so very deep in my soul.

Surah smirked. “Well, then I
guess the race in on,” she said. “Good luck to you, Sun Warrior.” She glanced
back at Nelly. “And you.” And then she vanished.

Literally. Vanished. I stood
staring at the spot where she had been, blinking like a cartoon character. I
would have punched and kicked pointlessly at the air there if there had not
been other people in the room. No need to
look
as insane as I felt.

I turned on my sister. “What
happened?” I asked, for what felt like the hundredth time.

Nelly took a deep breath before
answering. “The King is weeding out what he calls “traitors,” Lex. He’s going
from city to city and weeding them out.” Her breath hitched, and I thought that
she was going to break into tears, but she didn’t. “He’s slaughtering them,
Alexa, putting their heads up on spikes. And he’s telling the ones he lets live
that we–you and I–are in league with the Sorcerers.” Nelly looked down at her
hands now, unable to meet my eyes. “And the Accursed. There is a pretty big
reward for our heads, too.”

Tommy wrapped his arm around
Nelly’s shoulders, and she leaned in a little to his touch. I wanted to go over
and comfort her, but I just didn’t for the life of me know what to say. How had
things unraveled so quickly? How had they gone so horribly wrong?

Kayden tugged my arm. “Can I talk
to you in the hallway for a minute, Warrior?” he asked.

I nodded, a feeling that I knew
what he was going to say making my stomach twist. Kayden opened the door and
stepped out into the hallway, glancing around. I followed him out and shut the
door behind me. “Don’t say it,” I said.

Kayden ignored this. “She will
have to go now, Alexa. The sooner, the better. People will start arriving soon,
and some of them will want to join the cause, but others will be lying in wait
to get at her…and you. The decision has to be made, and made now.”

I rubbed my forehead. “I told you
not to say it,” I said. “You know what my decision is. If Nelly stays here, she
dies. I know I have to send her away, but…does it have to be
right now
?
I only just got her back, Kayden.”

Kayden cupped my face in his
rough hand, and I leaned into his touch. His golden eyes were gentle, but
urgent. “Those on our side will want her to fight with them. Those on the other
side will just want her dead. Either way, it ends the same if she stays within
reach of either party. Does your sister even know that she is the Savior? Does
she know she is the one slated to die for her people?”

My eyes widened, and my hand
reached up as if to cover my mouth, but stopped midway. “No,” I said. “I don’t
think she does. I think our mother always told her that it was me, and so even
through everything that’s happened, she still believes it.”

Kayden nodded, as if this were
the point. “And what will she do when Camillia enlightens her? When she
enlightens everyone and they start pushing for her to go into battle with
them?”

My heart felt like it was lying
dead on the floor at my feet. I met Kayden’s eyes. “She will fight,” I said,
hearing the truth in the words even as I spoke them. “She won’t let me take her
place.”

Another nod. “And then what?”

I looked down at my hands. “And
then she’ll die.”

Kayden took my shoulders in his
hands and dipped his head so that I had to look into those sunrise eyes. “So
tell me, Warrior, what is it you are going to do?”

“I’m going to send her into the
White World until this thing is over. I’m going to make sure that I get to
stand in her place.”

Kayden’s returning smile was sad
and pained, but I could swear there was a bit of wonder there, too. “That’s
exactly what I thought you’d say.”

A sense of resolve fell over me,
an acceptance that came easier than I would have expected. It felt as though my
entire life had been leading up to this moment, this decision, and there was
never any question what my choice would be. The only question now was, how was
I going to get Nelly to agree to go to the Seer, and leave me to face her fate.

You will have to lie, of
course. To Nelly. Perhaps I can be of some assistance with that, Warrior.

I sighed heavily.
“Perhaps you
can. Just hang tight. I’ll let you know when it’s your turn to take the wheel.
First…I need to say goodbye.”

 Yes. Yes, I suppose you do.

Alexa

I took a step back from Kayden.
“Alright,” I said. “I need you to go find Arrol, and tell him that Nelly and I
will meet him at the lake.” I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat.
“We’ll be ready.” It sounded like a lie, because it was. I would not be ready
to leave Nelly. Not ever. But I had to.

Kayden nodded and bent forward to
kiss my cheek. “Okay, Warrior. I’ll go find the Fae and meet you there, but you
should be careful. I think you can feel it the same as I can that we are
standing on rotting boards here. If you don’t show up at the lake, I will tear
this city apart looking for you.”

I gave him a half smile,
swallowing back stupid tears threatening behind my eyes. I would never be able
to fool Nelly if I was balling like a baby. “You won’t need to,” I said. “We’ll
be there.”

Kayden nodded once more and
headed off to complete his task, moving with quick steps for such a big man. I
watched him until he rounded the corner of the hallway and then turned to face
the green door. My courage seemed to have left with my Libra.

“I don’t know if I can do
this.”

That’s why you have me,
Warrior. To do the things your heart won’t let you do.

“That makes no sense, we share
a heart. You have no problem with the fact that this next hour may be the last
we ever get to share with her?”

No answer. None at all. I waited
a minute to see if my Monster would offer some kind of response, but it didn’t.
When I realized that I was just stalling, no,
wasting
precious time, I
placed my hand on the doorknob and turned and pushed my way inside.

Nelly was still seated on the
bed, and Tommy was seated next to her. I took a deep breath, willing myself not
to cry right here and now. “Tommy, can you give me a minute with Nelly,
please?” I asked.

Tommy nodded and stood up,
straightening his shirt out of old habit. “I’ll be generous,” he said. “I’ll
give you an hour.”

Heat flooded my cheeks and I
hoped like hell that roses were not blooming there. I swallowed hard again so
that my words wouldn’t catch. “Thanks, Tommy.”

He left, and then I was alone
with my sister. I walked over to the bed and took a seat beside her, placing my
hand over hers. This was not going to be easy. “How you doing, Nell?”

Nelly sputtered a humorless
laugh. “Oh, I’m pretty crappy, Lex. What about you?”

I sighed, silently telling my
Monster to be ready to step forward if I should be unable to control my tears.
I hoped like hell it was still listening, because when it hadn’t answered me in
the hall I had felt an odd bit of panic, and I was surprised to find that its
presence comforted me. But now I could feel it there again inside me, and
though it did not speak in that cold, flat voice that was so close to my own,
but not quite, I knew that it would help me out here if I needed it.

I gave Nelly’s small, soft hand a
squeeze. “Yeah,” I said. “Same here…Only I would have said I’m doing pretty
shitty.
”

Nelly rested her head on my
shoulder, and I stroked her chestnut and honey hair. “I guess you would, huh?”
she said, and by the way she sniffed after I could tell without looking that
the tears I was holding in so desperately were falling down her face.

“It’s going to be okay, Nell. I
won’t let anything happen to you, you know that, right?”

Her head nodded on my shoulder.
“I know, Alexa.” Another sniff. “But what about you? How can you protect me
against all of this and protect yourself.” Her head lifted and she gripped my
hands hard, hazel eyes staring at me wide and panicked. “These people expect
you to
die
for them, Alexa. You can’t be worrying about protecting me. I
want you to worry about protecting yourself, and let me help to do that, too.”

A light bulb went off in my head.
Maybe this would be easier than I had thought. I took a deep breath. “You’re
right,” I said.

Hope flashed behind her eyes and
into my heart like a jagged shard of glass. “So you’ll let me protect you,
then? You’ll let me fight this war with you?”

I chose my words carefully. “You
really want to help?” I asked, feeling dirty about this deed already.

Nelly’s returning nod was
emphatic. “Good,” I said. “Then I need you to go somewhere until this Accursed
mess is over with, until I can convince people that you can be…trusted. It will
be easier to get them to listen if I’m not jumping at the throats of everyone
who makes a threat against you. I’ll know you are safe, and when they come
around, you will come back.”

Nelly’s face scrunched up in
confusion and maybe a little suspicion. I made sure that my mental walls were
in place, so that she couldn’t just reach in and pull the lie out of my head,
but I knew that she wouldn’t even try. Nelly’s trust in me was unwavering. And
I felt like an asshole for it.

“What are you talking about?” she
said. “I’m not leaving you, and besides where the hell would I even go?
Everyone around seems to have a good reason to want me dead.” She shook her
head. “And I’m not leaving you.”

Nope, I was right. This wasn’t
going to be easy. I realized with a twist of my stomach that the lie would have
to be bigger. Another deep breath. “Nelly, I think you know that I can look
after myself. It won’t be long.” I paused, remembering that time passed
differently in the White World. Hours went by in this world in what seemed to
be the space of minutes in the White World. That would make this easier, as
long as I didn’t let Nelly know about it.

“In fact,” I continued, “it may
only be a handful of hours, half a day, maybe, just until I can convince them
to lay off of you so that we can get down to this business of war. You said
yourself that I can’t be looking out for both of us. I need you to do this for
me, Nell.”

Nelly stared at me for a long
moment, and I could tell with equal parts relief and dread that she was
actually considering it. “Where do you expect me to go?”

“Someone has offered to take you
in,” I said, and paused. “Do you know what a Seer is?”

Nelly’s eyebrows went up. “Only
from books,” she said. “They can see the future, right? Like, prophets, or
something. Why? That’s who’s offered me safe haven? How do you know a Seer? And
what would make you trust him with
me
?”

Yeah, that was a butt-load of
undesirable questions. I decided that the truth would have to be adjusted for
these answers as well. “I went to see a Seer when you…when you lost yourself.
He…or she, I guess, was the one that told me that a willing sacrifice was the
key to saving you. I trust him…her…whatever.”

“You want me to believe that you
trust me with someone whose
gender
you’re not even sure of?”

Damn. I guess that wasn’t as
clever an answer as I thought. My Monster tossed out a better one, and I let it
fall out of my mouth, even though it made me feel like a hypocritical liar. “I
expect you to trust
me,
Nell,” I said. “And I only don’t know what
gender the Seer is because neither its voice nor appearance leans toward male
or female. But, yes, I trust the Seer to keep you safe, and I need you to go to
his world for a little while.”

Nelly held up a hand. “Wait,
what? His
world
? What the hell are you talking about?”

That was the second time in this
conversation that Nelly had used a curse word. That alone told me that this
wasn’t going well. I snuck a peak at the clock that hung on the wall.

Tick-tock, Warrior.

“Yes,” I said, hoping that my
panic did not come out sounding like impatience. I had to be cool. “His world.
It’s a place where you have to be invited into, a place where no one can hurt
you, Nell...A place where I don’t have to worry about you.”

I regretted these words as soon
as they left my mouth, and the look on Nelly’s face was the reason why. It was
a low blow. I knew that she had always felt guilty about me having to take care
of her, and I didn’t want that, but…I had to do whatever it took. I had to.

Nelly’s voice was small, but it
seemed to punch into my gut with the strength of the Gods. “Only for a few
hours?” she asked. “Half a day at most, and then you’ll come get me?”

I nodded.

Nelly bit her lip and wrung her
hands in her lap. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

I released a breath that I hadn’t
known I’d been holding, but then Nelly said, “But you have to promise me
something, Alexa.”

I swallowed once, nodded.
I
think this is your cue,
I told my Monster, feeling the rush of waterworks
threaten and hearing the splintering moans of my tainted soul.

“Promise me that you will come
and get me before the battle begins. Promise me that you won’t face the King
alone, that you will let me be there to protect you.”

My Monster’s voice sounded
uncannily like my own when I said, “I promise, Nelly. I promise.”