Redemption (9 page)

 

Cassidy hoped she wasn’t making a huge mistake. Going to his hotel room? She bit her lower lip. What if she gave him the wrong idea? Guys like Bryan were used to women wanting them, and she wasn’t throwing herself at him, didn’t want to. That’s not who she was at all. She just didn’t like the thought of him all alone up there. It wasn’t healthy.

She followed him into the lot and parked beside him. Nervously - her hand was shaking - she turned off the ignition and stepped from her own vehicle. She didn’t want to be anything other than a friend to him. Sure, she found him attractive, who wouldn’t? But she wasn’t looking for anything with him. Bryan was bruised. He needed help. Help that she wanted to be the one to give him.

Because she was a nice person. It had nothing to do with his steel gray eyes or the way he moved in those blasted jeans.

She put on her mittens and walked over, gesturing to his Jeep. “Well, I suppose this was a wise choice, considering the snow that’s in the forecast.”

“Snow?” he asked.

“Do you not pay attention to the weather when you travel?” She shook her head at him. “There’s a big storm that’s supposed to hit New Jersey sometime next week. Either they’ll be right, or it’ll blow over and just be a dusting. You know how reliable those predictions can be.”

He scratched his beard. “We may need to go shopping. I didn’t come prepared for snow.”

“It’s not like you’ll be playing in it, Bryan.” She laughed and elbowed him.

Bryan smiled at her. Why did she make him feel so good?

“This way.” He put a hand on the small of her back, leading her toward the hotel. A jolt shot up his arm and the stone he wore tugged harder around his neck. Bryan winced and leaned forward. Pain. Everywhere.

What the heck?

Cassidy put a hand on his chest to stop him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not sure,” he answered honestly.

“Come on, let’s get you inside,” she began. “You’re making me nervous.”

“That makes two of us,” he managed to say.

Maybe the lifestyle he’d been living was catching up to him. Maybe some organ was shutting down. Or he was sick. Maybe dying. Last week, that wouldn’t have bothered him at all. But looking into Cassidy’s worried eyes, he willed himself to stand taller. He wasn’t going anywhere. Not today.

They took the elevator to his room, and he swiped the key. Cassidy let out an impressed breath upon entering the suite.

“It’s just a room,” he said, embarrassed.

She looked at him and grinned. “No, it’s not, and you know it. Now, you sit there.”

He obeyed.

“Whatever happened in the parking lot still has me worried about you.” Cassidy wandered into the bathroom, and he heard her rummaging through his toiletry bag. “Do you have a thermometer?” she called.

“No, why?”

She peeked around the corner at him. “I’m going to take your temperature, naturally. You’re sick or something. Since we’ve come inside, you’re even more pale than you were before.”

“I’ll be fine, really,” he reassured her. It wasn’t like it really mattered if he was okay. In the end, who would really care?

Cassidy walked over and stood in front of him. Kneeling, she pressed one hand to his forehead, then his cheek. “You don’t seem warm.”

Not there, anyway,
he thought.

“Really, I’m okay,” he insisted. She needed to take her hand away from his face. No, she needed to keep it there.

“All this scruff,” she teased.

“It was probably just a reaction to the cold. California is a bit warmer, you know.”

“All right, if you insist.” She didn’t seem convinced, but instead of arguing sat next to him and looked around. “This room really is incredible. I think my entire old apartment might fit in here. Seriously huge. You must be doing really well.”

“Oh sure,” he lied. “Everyone wants Bryan Roemer Photography. I’ve got to turn clients away.”

She looked pleased, for him. “So, what’s next? Movie? Food? Shopping?” Cassidy smirked.

“Do you want a drink?” Bryan asked.

“Sure, but just water until I’ve eaten.”

He got two waters out of the mini-fridge and sat beside her again. Now that color seemed to be returning to his face and he actually did seem to be better and she wasn’t so worried about him, Cassidy realized they were sitting on the edge of his bed. Suddenly she felt thirteen again, just like Carrie had accused her of feeling. She cleared her throat and stood to pull over a chair.

“Thanks.”

Bryan nodded.

“So, tell me what you’ve been up to. Tell me all about your photography. Tell me about California,” Cassidy said. “I’ve never left the East Coast.”

“Never?” he asked. She shook her head. “Wow. Well, I don’t really know where to begin. I suppose photography was a natural way to go. I’ve always loved it, have always been told I was good at it. Believe me, getting established wasn’t easy, but,” he paused and smiled, “there is something so amazing about being able to create. You know?”

She nodded.

A tiny spark was coming to life inside him.

“I love capturing moments. Stealing them, I guess, and keeping them.” His voice was energized. He hadn’t thought about, talked about, photography the entire time he’d been with Mara. He frowned. She never really asked him anything about himself. She just kept him in bed.

Not terrible. Talking could be overrated.

“I think that sounds amazing,” Cassidy said.

“Thanks. And California is pretty incredible, too. The sun, the beaches. I love to surf.” He realized he hadn’t been doing anything he loved in recent months. Again, the exception being spending time in bed with Mara. Still.

Who was he anymore?

“I’ve never surfed before. Maybe sometime you could teach me. You know, when it’s seasonally appropriate?” Her eyes were shining at the possibility.

“I could do that,” Bryan said, realizing that a part of him wanted to. “Why don’t you tell me what you were saying before? When I was too much of a jerk to listen.”

“I could do that.” She smiled again at copying his words. Cassidy pulled her legs up into the chair to get comfortable. “I wanted a fresh start, you know? So, for a while I’ll be working with Carrie at that bookstore she and - the bookstore she has.”

“You can say her name. It’s okay.”
I think.
“I’m guessing Carrie told you.”

“Sorry. She did.” Cassidy looked uncomfortable.

He shrugged. “It’s fine. Go on with your story.”
Just keep talking. Let me hear your voice. Stay for a while. Because I’m not sure why, but being near you, hearing you, getting
through this day is suddenly a bit easier.

“Well, I’ll be working with them.” She was careful not to say Miranda’s name. No matter what Bryan told her, she saw the pain in his eyes when he’d thought she was going to say it. There was no way she was going to do anything to cause him one ounce of hurt. “I’ve got to find something else, but it’ll do for now. I’ve also got to find a place of my own, after the wedding. I can’t stay by my aunt and uncle for any longer than that. I love them, but it’ll drive me crazy.”

“What do you want to do?” Bryan asked.

“I don’t know. Something different. Something exciting.” Her eyes were shining again. “I don’t want to waste a day, you know?”

No, he didn’t.

“Besides, it’s really all about what God has planned for me,” she continued.

“God, huh? You honestly believe that?” Bryan asked, eyebrows raised.

“Sure. You don’t?” He’d never seen such honesty and innocence as he did now, in her.

“I’m not sure what I think about God,” he answered truthfully. “I’ve never given Him much thought. I suppose He’s let me down a bit over the years.”

“Hmm. Yeah, I can understand that.”

Again, she didn’t press. She didn’t lecture. She just let him be real. Bryan’s experience had taught him to expect something other than that kind of acceptance. Other than Carrie and Nick, he didn’t know any Christians he considered worth the knowing. They could be a judgmental lot.

“You hungry? We can order room service,” he offered.

Staying in sounded wonderfully tempting to her, but she really didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. Bryan needed friends right now, not some girl he thought was only interested in his body.

“How about this instead? On our way in, I saw a restaurant downstairs. Why don’t we go there?”

He smirked. “Okay, Cass, but I’m going to insist on treating.”

“Not necessary. I can pay for my half,” she said.

He thought again about the ample funds Mara had given him to keep him happy and comfortable during his stay in New Jersey. He’d accepted it to make her happy, but now he didn’t want the money. He wanted to get rid of it, the weight of it making him feel sluggish. Having some distance from Mara was giving him new perspective. He recalled how good it felt to take care of a woman instead of being the one taken care of. Cassidy made him want to do that again.

And he’d only spent a few hours with her. He couldn’t explain it.

What was it about this woman that made him feel so at peace? She was his friend’s kid cousin. Or she used to be. The stone grew warm. He didn’t deserve someone like her. It would be great to hang out with her while he was in New Jersey, but then he’d return to his real life. The one with Mara. The one where he could be with someone who didn’t care if he was as messed up on the outside as he felt inside. With Mara, there was no need to change it. She was about the next good time, not lifelong commitment. He’d have to be better for someone like Cassidy, and he wasn’t sure he had it in him anymore. He used to be a good guy. He was just too damaged, and someone like her deserved more than he could offer. Friendship he could do.

And friends could take one another out for dinner.

“Listen, kid. I’m paying.” He was firm, but smiling. “Just let me do this, okay?”

Cassidy sensed the need in his voice. “Okay, but just this time. I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”

Please do,
he thought.

“No worries there, kid. Let’s eat,” he said, slinging an arm around her shoulder. “You know, Cass? I’m glad you’re here. Makes me feel a whole lot less like the third wheel.”

“I know what you mean, Bryan.” She tilted her head up to face him. “I’m glad you’re here, too.”

He closed the door behind him and paused a moment. A familiar scent hung in the air.

Mara.

Bryan felt a pang of guilt for being with Cassidy, even if they were only friends grabbing dinner. He kept his arm casually draped across her shoulder, not wanting to alert her to any changes, to raise suspicion, to cause her to ask questions he didn’t want to answer. It was better if she thought he was the same Bryan she remembered.

Still, Mara was nearby. He could smell her.

 

Mara paced the hallway outside of Bryan’s room, the scent of the lotus trailing in her wake. That little, blonde....she shrieked. Bryan belonged to
her
. Why was his arm around that mortal? She knew the stone was working because she could see him respond every time she activated it. Yet, he resisted.

Because of her.

She narrowed her glowing eyes. If it wasn’t one mortal getting in her way, it was another. And to make matters worse, Bastion had warded the hotel room. She’d tried to flash inside, only to find herself slamming against an invisible wall.

She made a fist, her nails digging into her palms, drawing blood. Mara didn’t even notice as the droplets left a trail behind her, smoking as they hit the carpet. She’d infuse the stone with more of the lotus. That would work.

And if it didn’t, she would go to him. She could remind him of the pleasures she afforded him. She would make him forget again.

Mara was startled by the sudden appearance of a small, disfigured creature. The lesser demon pointed a gnarled claw at her and bared his teeth. Some of the fallen retained their beauty, not so with this one.

“You are failing, Apathy,” he hissed. “He is not going to be pleased with you.”

“Oh, shut-up, Insult. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She flipped her hair and stalked away from him. Casually dropping into a chair, she threw her legs over one side and stretched sensuously across the other. “I have everything under control.”