Redemption Bay (Haven Point Book 2) (Contemporary Romance) (24 page)

All exhaustion was gone from her features, replaced with vast relief. She looked sweet and lovely and he wanted to tuck that loose strand of hair behind her ear and kiss her until neither of them could think about anything else but how perfectly they fit together.

“Oh, Rika. You stink. What have you been into?”

“Given my limited experience with Hondo, you probably don’t want to know.”

“It smells like fish guts and cow manure. She probably rolled in anything nasty she could find. You don’t want her in your car, trust me. We’ll walk home.”

“Forget it. Get in.”

“Ben—”

“I’m not letting you walk a mile in the dark after the day you’ve had. Get in. I’ve got rubber mats in the back. I can just hose them off.”

He opened the cargo doors and both dogs bounded inside. Ben closed the door behind them, then let McKenzie in.

By the time he made it around to the driver’s side, her eyes were half-closed, her features far more relaxed than he had seen all day. Without the tension and worry for her dog, all the remaining energy seemed to have seeped out of her, leaving her limp and boneless.

As he started the vehicle, she opened her eyes and gave that pure, lovely smile that made his heart ache with emotions he still wasn’t ready to face.

“I can’t believe we found her.
You
found her. That was amazing.
You’re
amazing. Thank you.”

For her, he wanted to be.

“You’re welcome.”

She closed her eyes again and they drove in silence the short distance home. He thought again of the decision he had made about the Caine Tech facility.

The empty boatworks would be the perfect location. Aidan owned it already—it had been part of the deal the two of them came to last year, when Aidan had taken over Ben’s holdings here—and it would provide the necessary acreage to house a large complex, if necessary.

Somehow, it seemed fitting. The world making a full turn on its axis and coming back to the beginning. He had taken jobs and livelihoods away from this town. Logically, he knew it had been the smart choice at the time. Now he had the chance to bring some back.

His mind raced over the possibilities and he started to get more excited with each passing moment. Aidan would be ecstatic. He and Eliza loved it here and wanted to build their family at Snow Angel Cove. Aidan could split his time between the Haven Point facility and their San Jose operation.

Ben would have plenty of occasion to be back as well, to see McKenzie...

He jerked his gaze away. No. She had made it plain she didn’t want that. Didn’t want
him
.

His chest ached at the reminder. She didn’t have room for him in her life. She had made that abundantly clear.

She was half-asleep by the time they reached his driveway. “I don’t have the words to thank you, Ben. Seriously.”

He loved her.

The realization seemed to wash over him like the storm-tossed waves of the lake.

He loved her. How was he possibly going to live without her?

“Are you okay?” she asked, and he realized he hadn’t answered her for at least sixty seconds.

“Yes. Sorry. My mind wandered for a moment there.” His chest ached and he couldn’t seem to take a deep breath but he forced himself to focus. She needed rest more than anything and he would do whatever it took to watch out for her. “I’m just glad we found her. Get some sleep now, if you can.”

“You, too. Rika needs a bath first and I need to get cleaned up myself, then I’m going to drop like a stone.”

She was amazing—sweet and warm, compassionate and stubborn and wonderful. He wanted to tell her that, too, but the words seemed to lodge in his throat.

When she unlocked her front door, he couldn’t help himself. He leaned in and gave her a soft, tender kiss on the forehead. It was goodbye and thank you and a hundred other sentiments rolled into one. He was leaving in the morning and wasn’t sure he would see her again before he left.

“Good night, McKenzie.”

She gave him a sleepy smile as she held Rika’s collar to keep the dirty, smelly dog from racing through the house. “Good night. And thank you.”

As he waved one more time and headed down the steps, he knew he would take that memory of her with him—her hair tangled, exhaustion in her deep brown eyes, but her mouth lifted in that sweet smile that broke his heart.

* * *

I
N
THE
MORNING
, he was gone before she woke.

She slept in, something she never did. It was nearly eight-thirty when she finally let Rika out. She stood at the back door, trying to figure out what was different.

It took her a few moments before she realized the change. The beautiful wooden Delphine that had been moored at the dock for two weeks wasn’t there. She had a clear view across the bay at the Redemption Mountains, soaring up into a blue July sky punctuated by only a few fluffy clouds.

He could have taken it out for a cruise around the lake but somehow she knew he hadn’t. Not this time.

She went to the front door and looked out. No big, sleek SUV was parked in the driveway next door and the lights of the house were all out, the curtains drawn.

Pain, huge and raw and terrible, reached out and grabbed her by the throat and she sagged onto the sofa, almost doubled over with it.

Oh. How would she bear it? He was gone and she didn’t know what to do. The sunny, beautiful day suddenly seemed cruel, somehow, taunting her with its perfection, even as she wanted to huddle away here in her misery.

In only a few weeks, he had completely invaded every corner of her life. All the places she usually turned for refuge were now filled with memories of Ben. Throwing a ball for the dogs in the backyard, helping her carry her kayak to the shed, swinging softly out there on the edge of the dock while the night air swirled around them.

How was she going to make it through without him?

Her throat was tight and she could feel the burn of tears behind her eyes. What was the point of holding them back? She sniffled and grabbed a tissue off the table in front of her.

She would let herself indulge in a few moments of heartache and then she would brush herself off and try to figure out how to start the process of healing.

She couldn’t seem to shake the image of Ben the day before, helping during the flood crisis. Everywhere she turned around, he had been there quietly lending his support—not just to her but to everyone.

She had even heard a rumor from Anita that someone had mysteriously paid the hotel bill in Shelter Springs for any families who had been temporarily displaced because of the flooding.

It might have been Aidan but somehow she knew otherwise. Of the two of them, Aidan was the dreamer, the genius behind the ideas.

Ben was about action and results, logic and reason.

She thought of his hands, suddenly, calloused and blistered from the shovel and the sandbags. Yet he had also held her hand with sweet, comforting tenderness as he drove her around town helping her look for her missing dog.

He was a good man and she had done nothing but push him away, so afraid to risk her heart.

She was such a hypocrite.

She thought of what she had said to him, that he was cold, that he pushed down his emotions because of what his father had done to him, that he didn’t let people close to him.

They were the same in that respect. She had many, many friends and she valued each one, but very few of them were close enough to see inside her heart, to the frightened little girl trying to carve out a place for herself in a foreign world.

Most people in town knew and liked McKenzie. They had voted her mayor, after all. But very few of them—except maybe Devin—knew
Xochitl’s
heart.

Ben had seen the real her—and he had cared about her anyway, despite her fears and insecurities.

She should have told him how she felt.

He had endured a terribly difficult childhood. It hadn’t beaten him down. Instead, he had become stronger for it, more determined to do something good and right in the world.

He had become a strong, caring man, much more like his birth father despite Joe Kilpatrick’s cruelty.

Oh, how she loved him.

She drew in a shuddering breath as Rika scratched on the door to be let back inside. McKenzie rose and opened the door for her, then sank back onto the sofa again. The dog immediately padded over and licked at her tears, obviously concerned at her distress.

She couldn’t do this all day. She had to go check on the flooding situation, the evacuees, the shop. Yes, her heart was breaking but she didn’t have time to indulge herself. She had a feeling that would be a good thing in the days ahead. Keeping busy was probably the only way she would get through this.

She made herself shower and change. She had just finished fixing her hair when she heard the deep rumble of a big vehicle engine out front.

Probably a delivery, she thought—though it was Saturday and she wasn’t really expecting anything.

She hurried to the window and her breath caught at the sight of a big dark SUV hitched to a gleaming wooden Killy Delphine.

Rika began to bark in excitement as Ben let Hondo out of the passenger side. The dog raced to the front door and McKenzie had no choice but to let her suddenly frantic dog out to join her friend.

The two dogs brushed noses, delighted to see each other after their long six-hour absence. Ben waded through their gyrations to come to the door and McKenzie walked down to meet him on the sidewalk, her heart pounding. She hoped he couldn’t see her red-rimmed eyes, her splotchy face.

She loved him so very much.

She had to tell him.

What had she said that night? That unnecessary regret is the saddest thing she could imagine. If she didn’t tell him how she felt, she would regret it the rest of her life.

“When I didn’t see the Delphine this morning, I was certain you had left.”

“I’m about to.” He stood, a little awkwardly. “After everything, I couldn’t take off without a proper goodbye.”

How can I say goodbye, proper or otherwise, when I don’t want you to go?
She thought the words but couldn’t quite bring herself to say them, despite all her brave convictions earlier.

It was easier, far easier, to focus on details. “What have you decided about Hondo?”

A shadow drifted across his blue eyes as he watched the two dogs cavorting. “I talked to Aidan about taking him. He says there’s plenty of room at Snow Angel Cove. It will be good for him to be around other dogs and Maddie would love one more creature for her imaginary friend to play with.”

“Right. Bob the horse.”

“Ah. You’ve met him.”

She would have smiled, if her heart didn’t hurt so much.

“He loves you, you know.”

“Bob? What can I say? I’ve always been able to get along very well with imaginary horses.”

“You know who I mean. Hondo. He’s bonded to you now. It’s going to be tough for him when you leave, losing two humans in a short time.”

“He’ll adapt, I’m sure.” The dog came over, tail wagging, looking at Ben with hero worship in his eyes. He gave him an absent sort of scratch, those shadows darkening.

“What else can I do?” he asked. “I don’t have a place in my life for a dog. I can’t give him what he needs. It wouldn’t be fair to him. This way is better.”

“Don’t be so sure. Maybe all he really needs is your love.”

To her dismay, her voice wobbled a little on the last two words. Ben flashed her a searching look. Did he know her words were layered with meaning far beyond Hondo?

“McKenzie—” he started to say.

“I owe you...an apology,” she said at the same time.

He waited, a confused expression on his face. “Why?”

“I owe you several, actually. I’m glad you stopped by so I could tell you in person. I...said things the other night that weren’t true. I called you cold, unfeeling. It was hurtful and not the way I feel, anyway. I’m sorry.”

“I appreciate that.”

“You were right. I made everything between us about Haven Point, because I was scared. It was easier for me to focus on what I wanted for the town instead of...what I might have wanted personally.”

“What was that?”

She had to tell him. It was one of those very difficult but completely
right
things to do. “I’ve never been in love before,” she whispered. “It’s...not as easy as I might have expected.”

He stared at her, eyes wide. His features had paled a shade and he looked as if she had just poured cold lake water over him. “In love?”

Oh, she shouldn’t have said anything. Once more, she had waded in and made a mess of everything.

“You don’t have to say anything. In fact, it would be better if you didn’t. Just forget I said a word. Goodbye. Have a safe trip. The bridge should be good for you to get out of town. We were worried about it yesterday but Dale emailed me this morning and said everything is fine. Just be careful and maybe take a route away from the Hell’s Fury so you don’t run into problems upstream with residual flooding.”

She was babbling, as she was prone to do when she was nervous.

He took a step closer and she instinctively moved back, aware suddenly that her feet were freezing without slippers or flip-flops or anything.

Oh, she was an idiot.

“No way. You’re not going to distract me by telling me where and how to drive on my way out of town. You’re also not going to boss me around by telling me to forget something that suddenly seems like the only important thing in the world.”

Her heart started to pound and she wanted to be anywhere on earth right now except here, on her front walkway with Ben moving inexorably toward her.

“I’m also not going to let you order me about and instruct me on what I can and cannot say.”

“You’re not?”

“If I wanted to tell you, for instance, that I think you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known, a woman of strength and compassion and courage, you will just have to stand there and take it.”

She opened her mouth to argue that she wasn’t, but he cut her off with an intense look that stole her remaining breath.