Redemption (Forgiven Series) (10 page)

Slowly I lifted my eyes to hers, afraid of what she would see. I didn’t want her to see that I wanted Josh for more than one night. She studied me closely for a moment before grabbing me and pulling me into a hug. Damn it, she knew.

You fell for him didn’t you?” she said sympathetically.

Okay, not what I was expecting. I was waiting for a lecture about how stupid I was and how she’d warned me.

I sighed. “I think I did. I’ve never connected with anyone the way I did with him. He was so easy to talk to… oh, I don’t know.” I rubbed my temples with my fingers. “I knew what to expect… I just didn’t think I’d feel like this afterwards.”

“I know, but I wish you’d listened to me. You don’t need this right now.”

Now there was the Emily I knew and expected. “Yeah, I know. Morgan agreed with you. Actually she’s dragging me out on Thursday to help me “forget”, as she puts it.”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh, a night out! Does that mean I can tag along?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Sure, but I thought you made up with Andrew? Aren’t you meeting him at the Frat house?”

She shook her head. “Nah, he’s got some plans with Nick on Thursday. Who the hell knows, but we did make up.” She got a dreamy look in her eye. “He finally told me he loves me.”

“Oh, Em, that’s awesome.” And it was. I was genuinely happy for her. It was nice to see Emily like this for a change. “And absolutely come out with us. We’ll have a great time. What about Angie?”

All of the tension was forgotten as we chatted and made our way to class. “Probably not, they’re going to visit Caleb’s parents on Friday night for the weekend to discuss wedding plans. Actually, I’m glad they’re going for a visit. I think the more time he spends home, the faster he’ll heal.”

“All right then, it’s a date,” I said with a wink.

That had been two days ago, and I’d still made no progress on the whole “Forgetting Josh” plan. In some form of desperate, last-ditch attempt at moving forward, I was hoping I’d meet someone at the bar tonight to take my mind off of him. Morgan and Emily had decreed the Pixel Lounge the best venue for picking up hot talent and so we decided to try our luck there. Thankfully, Emily wasn’t here because Morgan had already vetoed three of my outfits. Apparently none of them were sexy enough.

When I came out of my room for the fourth time, she didn’t even say anything, she just pointed back to the bedroom. I turned around in a huff, practically stomping my feet. I had no idea what she wanted me to wear. Pulling off the red tank top, I looked through my closet and found a light blue tube top. This was it, I wasn’t putting on anything else, if she didn’t like, tough. Quickly, I pulled on the top and switched from skinny jeans to a white mini skirt. It was too cold for this, but I knew it would be hot inside.

We didn’t hit the Pixel Lounge that often, only really when we wanted to spend the night dancing. Most of the time we simply went to the bar where we could hang out, drink, and talk. Tonight, however, they were determined to dance, figuring that was the easiest way to pick up guys. I wasn’t going to argue because I needed a night out, it didn’t matter where it was.

I finished my makeup and added some jewelry to go along with the outfit and walked out into the living room.

Morgan jumped up from her seat and I saw Emily sitting next to her. She must’ve arrived while I was changing.

“That’s it, that’s the perfect outfit.” She clapped her hands together in her excitement.

“Hi, Em,” I said with a wave, afraid to get anywhere near Morgan in this wound up state she had going on. I turned to Morgan, “Now that I finally have an outfit that meets your approval, can we get going?” First up on the agenda was getting me a drink to calm my agitated nerves.

Emily and Morgan shared a look, before Morgan went to grab her keys. Emily wrapped her arm through mine and we started towards the car. “You look hot tonight, the guys are going to be all over you,” she said with a smirk.

I laughed. “I don’t need
more
guys. The last two have caused me nothing but trouble.”

She shook her head while laughing. “Having guys buy you drinks and dancing with them always makes everything better. Besides, I think Heather might meet us over there later.”

“Awesome, but right now I just need a drink to forget about the last week. Practice starts again next week, so I have to enjoy myself now,” I said.

“All right then, let’s make it count. We’ll make it a night good enough to hold you over until the season’s through,” she practically cheered.

Morgan finally caught up to us with her keys and we jumped in the car. The drive wasn’t long and before I knew it, we were seated at a table, drinks in our hand. Emily was right, hanging out with my friends while guys bought us drinks was pretty awesome. There was this one guy sitting at the bar who kept watching us and I was pretty sure most of the drinks had come from him. He was cute, and with blond hair and green eyes, he had that boy-next-door look going for him.

After about a half an hour he came over to our table. “Hello, ladies,” he said to the whole table with a smile. Emily started to giggle, most likely due to the fact that she’d already had a few drinks. Morgan was watching him with her mouth open. Since she was our driver for the night, she wasn’t drawing as much attention to herself as Emily was. He looked down at me and stuck his hand out. “Hi, I’m Doug.”

“Lauren.”

He smiled at me, and if the drinks weren’t messing with my head too much, I’d say he seemed a little nervous. “Nice to meet you, Lauren. I was actually wondering if you wanted to dance.”

It was adorable that he was nervous. Definitely boy-next-door material. “Sure,” I said getting up and heading to the dance floor with Doug following right behind me. Once we reached the dance floor, I turned to face him and he put his arm around my waist to draw me closer. From this position it was easier to see how attractive he really was. His hair was messy but stylish, and his eyes were the color of grass. But as hot as he was, I still didn’t feel like I did last weekend in Josh’s arms.

Damn, I was thinking about Josh again. Going out tonight was supposed to help me forget about him. I gave myself a mental shake and reminded myself that I was done worrying about Josh Walker. There were plenty of guys out there, and there was definitely one who would be worthy of me.

We danced for a few more songs, but it was getting hot and I wanted to get to know Doug a little better. There was no way we could talk so close to the DJ, so I leaned up to his ear and yelled over the music, “Did you want to go grab a drink?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I could use a drink.”

Thankfully the line at the bar was short so we didn’t have to wait long to order our drinks. “So Doug, are you a student at Ithaca?”

“No, actually I’m at Cornell.”

“Really?”

“You sound surprised.”

Unconsciously, I put my hand on his sleeve. “No, it’s just that I feel like even though the schools are so close I never really see anyone from the Cornell campus. For some reason everyone I meet is from Ithaca.”

“Well maybe you haven’t met the right people,” he said with a wink.

“Maybe not.”

The bartender brought over our drinks and Doug paid for them both. It was a small gesture, but it said a lot. Once we had everything we made our way back over to where Emily and Morgan were sitting. Unfortunately, they weren’t alone and it wasn’t Heather who had joined them. Really, could it get any worse?

Emily sat on Andrew’s lap and Nick was talking to Morgan. Scanning the table I didn’t see Josh with them, but I knew he couldn’t be far away. Looking around the room I spotted him on the dance floor with some blonde bombshell. He had his hands all over her. Thinking of where those hands had been the last time I’d seen him brought the blood rushing to my cheeks. So much for putting Josh out of my head. Even though I knew about his reputation when I’d gone home with him, it still hurt to see it in front of me.

I made it up to the table on shaking legs. So I didn’t seem completely obvious, I made sure to say hi to Andrew and Nick immediately. Emily was watching me for a reaction. “Hey guys, didn’t expect to see you here.”

Did she know they were going to be here? Why would she do that to me? She knew my goal was to forget about Josh.

“Yeah, we didn’t expect to see you guys either, but I’m so glad we did,” He smiled at Emily and ran his hand down her leg. “Hey, baby, you wanna dance.”

“Absolutely.”

Emily grabbed his hand and dragged him to the dance floor and I turned to Morgan and Nick so that I could introduce Doug. Using every ounce of willpower I possessed to ignore Josh’s presence, I gestured between Doug and Nick. “Nick, this is Doug, he’s a student at Cornell. Doug, this is Nick, he’s a friend of mine from school… and you met Morgan earlier tonight.

Nick reached his hand out. “Hey, man, nice to meet you. How do you know Lauren?”

“We just met tonight. We were dancing but it’s really hot out there so we came back for a drink,” I admitted.

Taking the empty seats at the table it was just my luck that they faced the dance floor. My stomach churned as I looked everywhere except the one place I wanted to be looking. Even though I’d had fun dancing with Doug, at this point I wanted him to go away. I was just trying to take my mind off Josh, not make him jealous. The fact that I was sitting next to a hot guy but couldn’t take my eyes off Josh pretty much meant that tonight was a waste of time and I was ready for Doug to go back to his friends.

But that didn’t look like it was going to happen any time soon. Doug and Nick were deep in conversation, while Morgan chipped in now and then. On the other hand I just sat… and watched Josh on the dance floor.

He either hadn’t realized I was there or he just didn’t give a damn. And why should he? I was just another conquest to him. The longer I watched the more I felt sick. She had her hands all over him and all it did was serve as a reminder of us dancing together last weekend. Even the way his hands held her hips and pulled her close was identical to the way his hands had run down my body last week.

Thoughts of Saturday night made my cheeks flush and I fanned myself with my hands, desperately hoping anyone who saw me would put it down to the temperature in the club. When the hot flushes were joined by a ringing in my ears, I knew I needed fresh air. I looked up and tried to catch Morgan’s eye.

“I need to get some air,” I said, watching for her reaction.

She glanced discreetly toward the dance floor for a moment before turning back to me. Leaning over, she whispered something in Nick’s ear before grabbing her purse and getting to her feet.

“I’ll come with you. You guys keep each other company,” she smiled, looping her arm through mine and leading us to the door.

Once we were outside she turned me to face her. “Are you all right?”

Afraid of what would happen if I tried to speak, I just nodded and focused on breathing. Slowly, I got my emotions under control. “I’m fine. I just really don’t want to be here anymore.”

She grabbed my hand. “We can’t leave. You need to show Josh that what happened between you mattered as little to you as it did to him.”

I thought about that for a moment. Was it really that important that I put on a show for Josh? What would that accomplish—except to make me look like a slut who didn’t mind meaningless one-night stands. Plus, the whole trying to make him jealous thing wasn’t really something I was in to. I had no desire to go back in there and dance with other guys so that he could think about what he’d passed up.

I shook my head. “No, Morgan, what I need to do is go home and find a way to deal with this, without playing the game.” I squeezed her hand, hoping that she would understand what I was saying. “The goal of tonight was to find a way to forget about Josh, but that’s not going to happen with him here. So, instead of making myself feel worse while I watch him practically dry hump that girl on the dance floor, I’d like to go home and deal with this a different way.”

She watched me closely for a minute, almost as if she was judging what I was saying, looking for the truth. After a few moments, she nodded her head. “Let me go see if Nick will take Emily home. What should I tell them?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I really don’t care. Tell them I wasn’t feeling well. At this point it doesn’t matter what they think. I’ve had enough of guys for a while.”

She pulled me into a hug. “Okay. Here are the keys, why don’t you get in the car and I deal with everyone inside.”

“Thanks, Morgan.”

She just nodded her head, looking at me with sad eyes. She knew I hated pity, but I could tell she was still worried about me. It was nice to have someone care so much, especially with my luck lately.

Pulling away, she walked back inside, while I turned and headed to the parking lot. Getting into the passenger side of the car, I lay my head on the seat and wondered how a night that had started so well had managed to turn into such a mess so quickly.

A few minutes later, Morgan jumped into the driver side, full of energy. She brushed her hands together. “All taken care of. Em’s going home with Andrew and Doug had already gone back over to his friends by the time I got back inside.”

“And?”

“And what?”

She was playing coy. She knew that I would want to know if Josh was still dancing with the girl, even though I didn’t really want to know.

When I crossed my arms over my chest she decided to answer. “They were still dancing. Josh didn’t hear any of it.”

As we passed the entrance to the club I saw Josh leaving with the blonde, heading in the direction of the parking lot. Even though it didn’t surprised me, it still hurt. It was my own fault. I’d known better than to sleep with him, I just figured that I’d regret it if I didn’t take the opportunity when it was offered.

For just a split second when he stopped to let our car pass, his eyes locked with mine and shock registered across his face. I tried to mask what I was feeling, so I wasn’t sure exactly what he saw. The car moved forward and I lost sight of him as Morgan drove us back to campus.