Redemption (Forgiven Series) (18 page)

Maybe I was, and so what? I didn’t need any more guys breaking their promises to me. I’d had enough of that growing up. When I huffed out a breath she continued “And I think you’ll do anything to protect yourself, even if you’re protecting yourself against something that could be amazing.”

Just like always, she’d seen right to the heart of my issues. I didn’t want to be hurt. But I hadn’t done anything to protect myself this time. Against my better judgment, I’d given Josh a chance.

“I haven’t done anything to ruin this, yet. For crying out loud, tonight was the first night we did something that had nothing to do with sex!”

“Except, I know you well enough to know that you won’t put your whole self out there, so you can protect your heart.”

When I looked skeptical she shook her head at me. “Weren’t you listening to the words that came out of your mouth? You and Josh spent the whole night together alone and did nothing but kiss. Now does that sound like the type of guy who is only thinking about sex and can’t settle down?”

Lying there, thinking about her question, I realized she was right. Josh hadn’t pushed me at all tonight. In fact, he’d spent most of the night trying to get to know me, instead of trying to get back in my pants. I knew what I’d felt the night of the party, but I’d let Ryan’s nasty remarks have an effect on me. It was insane, but I was starting to wonder if he’d thought I’d stick around even after he’d cheated on me.

There was no way I was going to let Ryan ruin this for me. Josh wasn’t Ryan and he deserved a real chance, one where I was willing to open up to him even if I was scared of getting hurt. A broken heart was a possibility in any relationship, but that was a risk we all had to take. After all the turmoil of the last week, I finally felt like things were going to get better. And, starting tomorrow, I was going to give Josh what he wanted. A chance—a real chance.

Morgan must’ve noticed the difference in me because when she looked at me she smiled. I allowed her to pull me up to sitting and she wrapped her arms around me. “I’m so glad you’re going to give this a real chance.”

Even after all of this time, it still amazed me how quickly she could read me. When she pulled back, I leaned my head on her shoulder. “I’m sorry about earlier. I should’ve called and told you where I was going.”

“It’s Josh Walker,” she squealed. “Trust me, if he’d asked me to come over, I’d have forgotten you too.”

We both laughed. I lifted my head and looked at her “Thanks for listening, Morgan.”

“Always. Now go to bed. It’s late and you have practice tomorrow.”

Morgan got up and crawled back under her cover, while I headed to my room to change into my pajamas. Climbing into bed, I snuggled up under the covers. “Night, Morgan, I called across the hall.

“Night, Lauren. Sweet dreams about your sexy new boyfriend.”

Boyfriend.

In all my dreams I never imagined I’d call a guy like Josh my boyfriend, but I guess there was a first time for everything.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off after one of the most amazing dreams about Josh. I was excited about seeing him again tonight, but first I had to drag my butt out of bed for practice.

The worst part about playing a spring sport was how cold it was early in the season. I mean, I trained all year, but usually it was indoor conditioning. By the time spring came around we usually moved to outdoor practice, unless Coach Gardner was in a good mood, in which case we’d practice indoors for the day.

On my way to the field I decided it didn’t matter if I froze my butt off for a few hours because afterward I would get to spend the night with Josh. Once I got to the field I grabbed my bag out of the car and headed into the locker room. Changing quickly, I met the team on the practice field.

Thoughts of Josh were still racing through my mind when I heard Coach Gardner call my name.

“Pierce and Rogers, head inside to Coach Daniels for some conditioning for the first half of the practice.” We nodded, grabbed our gear, and made our way inside.

Practice ended up going better than I’d thought it would. After we finished our conditioning exercises we spent the rest of the time working on control and accuracy, which helped Kendra to get a better feel of the timing of my pitches. We were so busy that I had very little time to think about Josh. However, once practice was over and I made it to the locker room I could think of little else.

The first thing I did was check my phone for any messages from him, and sure enough there were three. Opening my phone I read through the messages, feeling giddy over the fact that Josh Walker was texting me.

Josh: Dinner?

Okay, dinner, I wasn’t really surprised by that. Last night Josh had made it sound like he would plan the whole night. Then again, all I really wanted was to spend more time with him, but as long as we were spending the night together I was happy.

Me: Sure. Is that all you planned?

All of my nice shower stuff was back at the apartment so I put my phone down and grabbed my stuff, deciding to shower when I got home. Most of the team did the same thing after Saturday morning practices. Even though I loved the sport, I still couldn’t wait to get home after practice on a Saturday. The worst part was the fact that you knew all of your other friends were still in their nice warm beds. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I heard my phone vibrate on the bench next to me.

Josh: There’s more but we can chat at dinner.

Me: So what should I wear?

Conditioning sessions always took their toll on my body and when I made it back out to my car and dropped into the driver’s seat, my arms were like jelly.

Josh: Is that a trick question?

Me: Get your mind out of the gutter.

Laughing, I started the car and headed back to the apartment. As fatigue set in all I could think about was how a long, hot shower and a nap would do me good. As I pulled into the parking lot my phone started to ring. Looking at the caller ID, I smiled before answering it. “Hello.”

“Oh Jersey, how is my mind in the gutter when I’m talking about someone as sexy as you?”

Being on the phone didn’t stop the blush that stained my cheeks. “So, you want me to go out to dinner with you without clothes, but you don’t think your mind is in the gutter?” I replied sarcastically.

The chemistry I’d felt that first night at the bar was back. I mean last night had been fantastic but I loved our flirty banter.

“Who said we were going out?”

I rolled my eyes. “Then how do you plan on dinner?”

“I do have a kitchen, you know,” he answered.

“Yeah, but do you know how to use it?”

“Of course I know how to use it. I thought you would’ve noticed that the other night,” he chuckled.

“Oh my God! I meant the kitchen,” I squealed. How did I keep walking into that stuff with him? I could hear him laughing on the other end of the line. “See what I mean about your mind being in the gutter?”

“All right, all right, I know you meant the kitchen. It’s just so much fun to mess with you,” he laughed. “No, I don’t know how to use it that well, but don’t worry, I’ve got it under control.”

Getting out of the car, I made my way up the steps to the apartment. “Really? This I need to see. But it still doesn’t solve the problem of clothes.”

“True, but for now I’m gonna behave and say that you should wear something you can go out in later.”

I waved to Morgan, who was sitting on the couch watching TV, on my way to the bedroom. “Josh?” she mouthed at me. When I nodded she made a dreamy face and batted her eyelashes. All I could do was roll my eyes at her.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going later?” I asked him and, dropping my stuff on the floor, I grabbed clean clothes to change into after my shower.

“Nope, I want to tell you in person. You’ll just have to wait for dinner to find out,” he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

A surprise? I could handle that. Unfortunately, that still didn’t help me with what to wear, but I was sure Morgan would help me find something universal. Growing up, my dad couldn’t be bothered making the effort to surprise me, and usually sent his secretary to shop for my birthday presents. So I guess, in a way, he did like surprises, because he was always as surprised as I was to see what he’d bought me. He only chose the presents himself if he’d really messed up, or he needed my help with something. Then they weren’t presents, so much as bribes. I shuddered as I remembered why he’d bought me the car that Josh loved so much.

“You’re lucky I love surprises.”

“Well, that’s good to know. I’ll have to keep that in mind.”

I giggled, and the flirtatious tone in Josh’s words was ill-disguised as he said, “You sound adorable when you giggle, but I wish you were here and I could hear it live.”

“So, what time should I come over?” I asked, leaning against the bathroom door.

“How about seven?”

“Sounds perfect. Gives me some time to take a nap,” I answered.

“Go enjoy your nap, everything will be ready when you get here.”

“Thanks. I can’t wait to see you tonight,” I admitted.

As I was getting ready to say goodbye and hang up, Josh surprised me with another request.

“And, Jersey… bring an overnight bag.”

An overnight bag? Making the decision to put everything I had into whatever this was still didn’t make me feel like rushing back into bed with Josh. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to sleep with him again, it was just, this time, I wanted to do it on my terms. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that it took a moment to realize that Josh was calling me.

“Jersey? Jersey?” he called over the line.

“Yeah?”

“All that silence is making me nervous. I wasn’t trying to suggest you sleep with me again, I just figured it would just be nice if you slept in my arms tonight,” he insisted.

I was such an idiot. There he was being extremely sweet, and I was jumping to conclusions. The trust I’d so willingly given to Ryan was going to take a while to rebuild, but I needed to let Josh try. This thing between us could turn out to be something wonderful, but jumping to conclusions would ruin it.

“I like the sound of that,” I agreed with a smile.

“Okay, beautiful, go rest. I’ll see you later tonight.”

We said our goodbyes and I leaned my head against the wall. The last few weeks had been a complete roller coaster ride, but now I was ready to get off and enjoy life again.

Standing up, I actually made it into the bathroom, despite the ache in my legs. Leaning my head back against the tiles, I let the hot water from the shower wash away the tension of the morning, and after quickly changing, I crawled back into bed. Between my date with Josh yesterday and many sleepless nights while I’d tried to figure out what to do about him, my body wanted nothing more than to be trapped in the cocoon of my covers. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my eyes closed and I sank into a deep sleep.

I woke up feeling completely refreshed. Looking at the alarm clock, I realized that I still had a few hours before I had to get ready to meet Josh so I wandered out to the living room. Morgan was still where I left her a few hours ago, her butt planted in front of the TV, watching stupid reality shows.

Flopping down next to her, I tried to pay attention to what she was watching.

Without taking her eyes off of the TV, Morgan started with the twenty questions. “So, what’s the plan for the night?”

I shook my head at her. “You don’t let anything get by you, do you?”

“Never, and you still haven’t answered my question.”

I wasn’t avoiding her question, it was just fun to give her a hard time now and again. “Well, I only know about the first part of the night. Right now, I’m meeting Josh at his apartment, and he’s making dinner.”

She started to nod her head in approval. “Cooking dinner, very nice.”

“Except, he admitted that he doesn’t really know how to cook, so I have no idea how any of this is going to turn out,” I laughed.