Refugee (The Captive Series Book 3) (27 page)

All she needed to do was focus on the
people whose lives would be saved as a result of her choices. Lives
that would be far better than anything she had experienced. Braith
would be good, he would be kind, and he would be fair. She was
willing to do everything she could to see this terrible situation
through, including going to Gideon now. Hopefully Braith would
eventually find a way to forgive her and move on. The possibility
that he never would nearly broke her.

If Jack was wrong about being able to
dilute Braith’s blood with another vampire’s, than there was only
one solution, and she was certain Jack would never be willing to
carry it out. Jack would not allow her to be harmed, and he most
certainly would not be the one to do it.

Gideon would understand though, and
though he wasn’t a bad man, she felt he would have no qualms about
being the one to end her life in order to ensure peace. Swallowing
heavily, gathering her waning courage, Aria took a deep breath,
twisted the knob and slid silently into Gideon’s temporary house.
He was in the study, the shadows and planes of his face were
highlighted by the candle before him. He looked up at her as she
entered.

He didn’t seem surprised to see her as
she slid the hood of her cloak back. “I spoke with Jack and
Ashby.”

Gideon froze for a moment, his hand
curled around the pen he was holding. “I see.”

She was silent as she gathered her
courage to speak. Once she uttered these words she would never be
able to take them back. “I understand what needs to be
done.”

Gideon placed his pen down. “You
do?”

For a brief moment tears shimmered in
her eyes before she blinked them back, thrust out her chin and
nodded firmly. “I do.”

“He cannot know about this.”

“He never will.”

Gideon appeared lost in thought for a
moment. “Your relationship cannot progress.”

She flinched; did everyone know their
business? For a moment she thought her composure would crumble. “It
won’t” she whispered.

Aria remained silent, watchful as the
flame flickered over Gideon’s features. What was she doing here?
The right thing or at least that’s what she told herself. But was
it really the right thing? She was betraying Braith; she was going
behind his back and plotting something that would devastate him.
This was right on so many levels, but it was wrong on so many
others. Guilt tugged at her heart, perhaps if she went to
Braith…

She broke the thought off. He would
never agree to let her go. He would never listen to reason. Jack
was right, if she went to Braith and told him everything, he would
take her and leave here tonight. There were so many things she
loved about him; his determination, his stubbornness, and his love
for her were among the things she loved most. Unfortunately, those
three things completely worked against all of them right now. This
was wrong, she would hate herself forever because of it, but she
could live with that as long as this all worked out and Braith was
able to establish the world she knew he could.

She turned away from Gideon, but her
step was not so sure or as silent as she made her way to the door.
“You know what this may mean for you?”

She stopped in the doorway, her head
turned back as she studied him over her shoulder. “If we are unable
to dilute his blood in me my death may be the only solution to
separating us for good.”

“And you accept this?”

“It’s what I came to you for,” she
breathed half fearful he would tell her no; half fearful he would
refuse to be the one to do it. She’d taken a risk coming to him for
this; it could all backfire on her.

“No one else can know about this.”
There it was then, the deal had been struck. If another vampire’s
blood, and distance, did not break Braith’s ability to track her
they both understood what would have to happen.

She would die, and Gideon would be the
one to do it.

“They won’t,” she vowed.

CHAPTER 17

“Would you like to take a
walk?”

Aria turned away from the window she
had been staring out. She was doing everything she could to keep up
a brave front, to keep smiling, and to act normal. But it was so
hard, harder than anything she’d ever done in her life. They were
leaving tomorrow; she was actually looking forward to plunging back
into those hideous swamps. At least it would help keep her mind off
of everything and it meant they would be getting closer to the war,
a war she desperately wanted over.

Braith was standing in the doorway,
leaning against the frame. His dark hair was disheveled and there
was actually an amused gleam in his eyes as he lazily perused her.
Heat flooded her body, her toes curled as that look seemed to sear
right through her clothes and straight into her flesh. It took
everything she had to focus her attention on his words
again.

She frowned in confusion at the book
clasped carelessly in his elegant fingers. Then she recalled that
she’d been the one to take it from Gideon’s home. She’d forgotten
that she even had it, but he must have found it in her
bag.

It was Ivanhoe; she knew that without
having to see the title. It was the first book they had read
together, the one that he had taught her how to read with. She had
vowed that she wouldn’t cry anymore, she’d chosen her path, but
even so she battled against the tears that threatened to break free
at the sight of that book and the memories it elicited.

“Jack tells me there’s a lake close
by.”

“There is,” she confirmed.

He smiled. “Then let’s go explore
it.”

They had so little time left; she was
not going to spend it moping. She was going to cherish every
moment, not cry and ruin everything from here on out. “I’d love
to.”

Her legs trembled as she stood, she’d
been sitting for awhile, but she recovered quickly and was smiling
at him as she took his hand. “I never knew you were a
thief.”

She laughed as he waved the pilfered
book in front of her face. “I forgot I even had it,” she
admitted.

“I’m sure.”

They didn’t talk as they moved through
the woods, they didn’t have to. Aria inhaled the scents of the
forest, relishing in them. Beneath the leaves, dirt, and musty
animals, she could also pick up the hint of fresh water and fish.
It was wonderful.

The lake emerged from the woods,
shimmering in the early morning sunlight. She wanted nothing more
than to jump into it, swim to the middle and float there for hours.
She longed to feel joy over something so simple. Joy she was
frightened she would lose when all of this was over.

Braith sat with his back against a
tree; the dark glasses remained blessedly removed from his
magnificent face. His smile was one of the most wonderful things
she’d ever seen. It was indolent at the moment and focused solely
upon her as he held his hand out. He pulled her smoothly into his
lap, settling her securely against him as he rested his chin on her
head and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist.

“I thought you could use a
break.”

“I could,” she admitted. “But you could
also.”

“Yes,” he agreed.

She rested her head against his chest,
closing her eyes as she reveled in the solid, reassuring feel of
his body. He was beautiful. This entire moment was beautiful. She
wanted to pretend that it was one of many, that there were endless
days before them to sit together, read together, and simply enjoy
the company of each other. To pretend that there wasn’t a clock
ticking steadily away at their remaining time.

She kept her eyes closed as her fingers
curled against him. He opened the book and began to read to her.
She loved the sound of his voice, the deep timbre of it, the rich
tones and subtle nuances he inflected into the story. She knew this
story almost by heart but she still loved to hear him reading it.
Listening to his voice had become her favorite pastime while in the
palace.

His voice became tired after awhile,
she opened her eyes, sitting up as she took the book from him and
continued reading. She was about halfway through the book when she
realized that he had worked the braid from her hair. His attention
was riveted on it as he spread it across her shoulders and played
idly with the ends.

Her throat went dry as she lifted her
gaze to his. The book in her lap was forgotten as she focused upon
those beautiful gray eyes with the bright blue band encircling the
pupil. Though they were over a hundred years old, the faint white
scars around his eyes were still visible.

Her fingers trembled as she traced the
jagged edges of the marks that had left him blind until she had
come along.

He took hold of her hand and pressed a
tender kiss against her fingertips. Her body tingled with
excitement. She was suddenly breathless, suddenly aching and
vulnerable as his mouth moved steadily lower, across her palm to
press gently against her wrist. She couldn’t move. She was caught
by the love he stirred in her. She watched in fascination while he
pushed her sleeves back and continued further up her
arm.

His eyes never left hers as his lips
nestled in the crook of her elbow. Though she knew she should tell
him to stop she couldn’t break the eye contact, the intimacy of the
moment. This was one of the things that she wasn’t supposed to let
happen but even as she thought that, her body screamed for more.
They both deserved this time alone and she was going to enjoy it
for just a few minutes more.

He lifted his head from her elbow, his
hand wrapped around the back of her neck as he pulled her closer.
He held her against him, his lips just barely brushing hers. She
was frightened her heart might explode in her chest as it quickened
in anticipation. And then, just when she thought she couldn’t take
anymore, when she thought she was going to scream in frustration,
he kissed her.

Solace swept through her, her fingers
entwined in the hair at the nape of his neck, she pressed closer to
him as the suffering within her finally eased. Every nerve ending
she had lit with fire, she was consumed by the flames he ignited in
her. He moved her, shifting her in his lap so that she was
straddling him, her legs wrapped around his waist. His hand moved
steadily up her back, maneuvering under her shirt to press flat
against her skin. She moaned at the glorious wonder of
him.

She hadn’t realized how much she needed
this, how much she missed his touch. How starved her body had been
until now. And now he was feeding her starved soul as his tongue
became more demanding. Aria lost herself to his urgency. She
recognized the fervent, almost desperate need within him. She
desired him, but she realized now that her own craving was nowhere
near as intense or acute as his. He would completely devour her and
at the moment she didn’t care if he did.

And then he was lifting her, pushing
her back as she fell into the soft leaves. Her shirt was slipping
away, gone beneath the expert movement of his hands. She loved the
feel of him over her, the weight of his body against hers, the
muscles that flexed and bunched beneath her touch. His hand was
firm against the thin slip that was all that kept her covered. She
pressed closer to him as he shifted, briefly leveling himself off
of her.

Then his hand found the button of her
pants. She froze, her breath trapped in anticipation as her eyes
fluttered open. He was watching her, his eyes dark and hazy with
passion. He kissed her again, his mouth firm against hers, his
tongue hot and heavy as he slid the button of her pants
free.

Panic tore through her as reality
crashed into place. She was nearly half naked, already swept up
within him and more than willing to give herself to him. She
yearned to ease the frustration and need that poured from him. The
only thing he truly craved was her, and it was the one thing she
couldn’t give to him. If she didn’t stop this now, she never
would.

“Wait!” she gasped.

He froze against her, his hand pressed
flat to her lower belly as he lifted his head to look at her.
“Arianna?” The word was a low, anguished groan.

“I… I…” she couldn’t get words
out.

“Do you want me to stop?”

No, she didn’t want him to stop. Her
body was screaming for this! She needed this almost as badly as she
needed air. She ached with every fiber of her being, she wanted
this more than she had ever wanted anything and she couldn’t have
it. For a moment she almost broke and told him everything. She was
ready to pour her heart and soul out to him, but she somehow
managed to bite the words back.

She knew Braith would do everything he
could for the people he would lead, but he wouldn’t put them ahead
of her. He believed in duty and honor but he’d made it abundantly
clear to her, and those closest to them, that she was his priority.
She loved him for it but it didn’t help the people whose hope was
placed in his ability to lead.

“I just… I don’t know…” His hand slid
away from her and she immediately felt a profound sense of loss.
Her hands clenched around his neck unwilling to completely break
their connection.