Regency 02 - Betrayal (24 page)

Adam sighed. Bri was the only one who knew of
his discussion with Carly, although it was obvious that Denbigh had
determined that there had been some doubt about Callie’s paternity.
He really didn’t want to discuss it.

“Never mind, my boy. It was impertinent of me
to ask.”

“But you and everyone else are like to die of
curiosity if I keep silent,” the baronet remarked with a flash of
his old cynicism.

Denbigh chuckled. “I will survive, Adam.
Greville doesn’t want to know although he does worry for Bri’s sake
and Connor is too conscious of his own secrets to probe where he is
not wanted. The twins view you as another brother and my wife as
another son. Needless to say, Bri is worried. Miss Emerson worries
but assures us that you will come around. I can’t help but believe
her since she seems to know you better than the rest of us. How she
accomplished such a feat amazes me.”

“The ladies are only interested in my
intentions toward Bri,” Adam inserted with a slightly derogatory
sound.

“We’re all interested in that.”

“I’m sure.”

A silence fell between the gentlemen that was
neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. It just was. It lasted for
all of five minutes before Adam finally broke it.

“I’m finally at peace. All this time, I
blamed myself for my failed marriage and blamed women for my
unhappiness. I have known very few women who have not proven to be
scheming and manipulative. My own mother and sisters were of that
cast.” He paused, considering. “I don’t deserve her, do I?”

“Perhaps you should let her decide that,
hmm?”

“Perhaps,” Adam agreed reluctantly.

“You don’t think you should?”

“She has been through so much. I don’t want
to add to her pain anymore than I already have.”

Denbigh regarded him silently for a moment.
“Remember when you met Verena. You had every reason to believe that
she was one of those typical women for whom you have every
aversion. You held to this opinion until she confessed to you about
her rape. Yes, she told me of that,” he said in response to the
surprised look on Adam’s face.

“Where are you going with this, sir?”

“My point, Adam, is this. You were the one
who knew what had to be done to save her. Do not let Bri’s similar
experience hold you back from making her happy.”

The duke rose to his feet. “Think about that,
lad.” And he left.

Dinner that night was not quite the ordeal
that Adam would have expected. Everyone talked and laughed and
fervently ignored Adam’s silence. They took turns drawing him out
until he finally put his morose thoughts firmly in the back of his
mind and concentrated on being a more congenial dinner
companion.

In the drawing room afterwards, he played for
his guests, allowing himself to get lost in the music. He thought
of all that had gone on in the past few months and wondered if it
was a good idea to marry Bri. It wasn’t the thought of her rape and
the fear of hurting her that actually held him back. It was
something she had said to him nearly seven months ago. He had been
unable to get it out of his mind ever since.

She was so bright and cheerful now that he
suspected it was all an act. What was she thinking at this very
moment?

Bri was actually pondering the sadness and
melancholy that translated itself through his music. She didn’t yet
know that Adam was the composer and she wondered what he was
thinking as he played. His expression revealed nothing. She
couldn’t see his eyes.

Would he ask her to marry him? Sometimes she
thought he might not in spite of everything. She loved him now more
than ever and was determined that they be together no matter
what.

The piece drew to a close and Adam sat very
still at the piano. Everyone else sat very still as well.

Then Denbigh, with a mischievous grin, asked,
“What is that one called? I’m afraid I don’t recognize the
composer.”

Adam looked up and smiled but didn’t
answer.

The company dispersed soon after that and
wandered to their beds. Adam paced his chamber, much to the disgust
of Morris, still fully dressed and muttering to himself the whole
time.

He was fighting the urge to go and talk to
Bri that very minute. He had come to the decision while he was
playing earlier that he would ask for her hand and let her decide
what was best. But he couldn’t go to her room now. It was well
after midnight. She would be compromised.

That thought made him stop in his tracks
consideringly. Then he shook his head in disgust and continued
pacing. He couldn’t possibly be so selfish as to force her hand.
But perhaps he wouldn’t have to. He stopped again before he
suddenly spun on his heel and walked out.

The countess sat in bed as still as a statue.
Her hair was down around her shoulders and she was in a crisp white
nightdress with long sleeves. She had stopped wearing her
sleeveless ones ever since that morning when she had seen the
bruises left by Steyne.

She shuddered at the memory. She was glad the
viscount was firmly in her past although she was unsure if he had
actually given her up or if he was merely planning something.

And then there was Adam. Would he ask her
soon? She prayed he would. She wanted to be with him more than
anything.

As if conjured by her thoughts, Adam appeared
in the doorway and closed the door firmly but quietly behind him.
She was suddenly glad that Brewster had taken to sleeping in the
dressing room again.

“Adam? What is it?” She rose from the bed and
approached him cautiously.

“I need to talk to you,” he said. He watched
her warily, noting that she was in her undress. He hoped she would
have the good sense to keep her distance. He suddenly wanted her
with an intensity of feeling that he had not experienced in a very
long time.

“About what?” She halted a few feet away, all
at once conscious of the fact that she was standing before him in
her nightdress. She saw the heat in his eyes and felt a frisson of
fear mixed with excitement course up her spine.

Adam thought about all he wanted to tell her,
all he felt and wanted in his life. She stood before him
expectantly, holding her hands loosely clasped in front of her. He
wanted to touch her, to hold her, but knew it would be unwise.

She took the decision out of his hands. He
looked down into bright green eyes when she laid her hand on his
arm.

“Tell me,” she whispered.

He reached for her hand, twining his fingers
with hers and slid his other arm around her waist, drawing her
against him. She watched his face wordlessly. Then he leaned down
and kissed her tenderly, lips slightly parted. She pressed her lips
back to his and opened for him in an invitation too tempting to
resist.

She seemed to burn in his arms and it was
only natural that he lift her and carry her to the bed. She held
tightly to him when he tried to move away. His senses returned and
he realized he couldn’t take her now. He sat down beside her,
smoothed the hair back from her face and smiled before gently
taking her hand.

“I’ll not make love to you, Bri. Not
now.”

“Why not?” she asked breathlessly. He saw the
bewildered hurt in her eyes and was startled to realize that she
actually wanted to be with him.

“Are you not afraid?” he asked with no small
amount of curiosity and concern.

She swallowed hard but did not look away.
“Yes,” she answered honestly. “But you…you wouldn’t…you…”

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” he said for her. “I
wouldn’t, Bri.” His brow furrowed. “Well, I would try not to,
anyway. But I actually came here to beg your forgiveness for
putting you through so much hurt. I know saying I’m sorry isn’t
enough and if I could change the past, I would. But I can’t so all
I can do is apologize.”

Bri hid her disappointment well. She leaned
back slightly and tried to smile. She was afraid it appeared to be
more than a little sad, however, when she replied. After taking a
deep breath, she said, “Of course, I forgive you, although I really
do not feel there is anything to forgive. I blamed you at first, it
is true, but I have realized since then that you only did what you
could at the time.” She shrugged and looked down at her hands where
they lay, linked, in her lap. “In fact, if you hadn’t saved me when
you did, I would have hanged as a common criminal. No matter what
I’ve said to you in the past, I was at
point non plus
.

“And,” she continued with barely a breath as
she twisted her hands nervously in her lap, “I have decided that
changing the past is not always a good idea. I would not change the
past now since it has brought me you. If I had not run away, my
family would never have hired you and I would never have met you.
Or Connor or Doll. I have too many blessings as a result of my
choices and I would not trade any of them. Not even to avoid the
pain and heartache I’ve had to endure.”

She looked up into his eyes then and
determinedly shoved away the little voice that warned her to
not
utter the words that trembled on her lips. She knew deep
down, she would regret it forever if she simply let him walk away
with nothing more than her unwarranted forgiveness.

“I owe you something for your help, Adam.
I’ll do whatever you want.”

Adam’s eyes grew wide in shock but then his
lips twitched suspiciously. He was laughing at her! How
humiliating! It was obvious to even the greenest of girls that
while Adam Prestwich may care for her, it was apparent that he did
not love her or even want her enough to make love to her. She let
her chin drop in dejected misery.

Adam smiled at the emotions that flitted
chaotically across her lovely face. To think, he came here to offer
her his heart and the propriety of a marriage bed and she seemed to
be offering something quite different. He could not be mistaken in
the invitation that had shown so briefly in her eyes.

He tilted her chin up with thumb and
forefinger and looked deep into her eyes. They were awash with
tears of dejection and humiliation. “If you’re offering what I
think you are, I have to decline,” he whispered sincerely. Before
she could react, he continued to talk as his thumb lightly traced
her lower lip, causing a visible tremor to snake through her body.
“As much as it may kill me to do so, I want to wait until we are
married. That is, if you have changed your mind,” he added
sadly.

“Changed my mind?” the countess asked
faintly. He had said they would be married! He must love her!

“You told me once that anything was better
than spending your life with a man who had betrayed you. Do you
still feel that way?”

Bri started. He actually remembered something
that she had said several months ago. Something she had said in
anger and fear. And now he was throwing it back in her face. Well,
not actually throwing, but placing in front of her, anyway.

“Oh, I was so angry, Adam, when I said that.
And at the time, I meant every word.” She smiled at him hesitantly.
“I have not changed my mind about it, either,” she added honestly,
because, in fact, she hadn’t. She still felt it would be hell to be
with someone who had betrayed her.

He reached out and stroked her cheek gently.
“Then this is goodbye, is it not?” The softest of smiles touched
his face and a look of intense sadness entered his pale eyes. He
rose to his feet.

Bri reached up and took his hand, gripping it
tightly. “You didn’t let me finish,” she said quickly,
fiercely.

Adam sat again and squeezed her hand. “I
apologize. Please finish.”

“I would never spend my life with a man who
betrayed me,” she said softly. She clutched tighter at his hand—as
if that were possible. He could barely feel it for lack of
circulation as it was. “You have never betrayed me, Adam,” she
added emphatically. “You were always there for me, no matter what.
If I could have let go of my stubborn pride enough to ask for help,
I could have avoided nearly all my troubles.”

Adam stared at her. The truth of her words
blazed in her emerald eyes and he knew she truly did not believe he
betrayed her no matter what he thought of the situation. Adam felt
a smile tugging at his lips, a smile of absolute joy. “I have
forgotten to tell you something,” he said.

“What is that?” Bri asked in bewilderment. It
wasn’t exactly the reaction she had expected.

Instead of saying what he wanted, Adam kissed
her. He communicated all his love and emotions in this one kiss
until he was sure she understood. He wasn’t disappointed. When he
lifted his head, Bri was staring at him with those wonderful eyes
of hers and she was crying.

“You love me,” she whispered tremulously.
“You actually love me.”

“You will marry me, then, my love?”

And the Countess of Rothsmere smiled
brilliantly through her tears and threw herself into his arms
again. “Oh, yes! Yes, Adam, please, I will marry you!”

The End

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