Regina (15 page)

“I love you Jane.” I said thru my tears as
she walked away.

Jane ran back to me and gave me one last big
hug. “I love you too G.G.”

Chapter
Nineteen

A few days into August, two days before we
were supposed to go home, dad called me into the living room for a
little talk. Mom and Grandpa were in town doing a little shopping
and running some errands. I was in the process of starting to pack;
taking pictures, getting an inventory of my things and making sure
I had enough room in my suitcase for everything. I’m a little
obsessive compulsive when it comes to my things and packing
them.

I was enjoying the last days in my room. I
talked to Katie a lot and we had made plans for our last night
together. Katie talked me into throwing a pasture party in one of
Grandpa’s fields. We picked the spot out yesterday, it was perfect!
In a clearing, about two hundred feet from the house, laid the
perfect spot for a party. It was far enough away from the house
that we would be well hidden as long as we kept the noise down. We
couldn’t get electricity out there but that’s what pickup trucks
were for! As far as Steven went, we talked after the party. I met
him for dinner and we made out afterwards but I didn’t feel as
attracted to him as I one did. We made plans to hang out again
before I left for New York. I think the poor boy believes it will
be the big night for him.

My parents had a Saturday morning flight set
out of Austin for nine o’clock in the morning the day of our
departure. Our plan was to start the party around ten o’clock
Friday night and end it before six o’clock Saturday morning. I
didn’t care if I didn’t get any sleep, it would be worth it! It
would be an awesome way to leave this town.

“Regina!” Dad called out. “Come in here for a
moment.”

He was sitting in one of the softer sofa
chairs. He had his glasses on the bridge of his nose, relaxing and
reading the newspaper. I saw his shoes by the side of the chair;
his feet were up on an ottoman. I knew dad would miss being here.
He seemed to finally relax and let himself be. He couldn’t do that
in New York.

“What’s up dad?” I asked, sitting down on the
ottoman.

“Sweetie, there isn’t any better way to say
this. Your mother and I are not ready to leave yet. She worries
about your grandfather and if he will be ok after we leave. So we
are going to stay for a little longer”

I couldn’t breathe. I knew this was going to
happen so I don’t know why I reacted so badly. Somewhere inside me,
I knew my parents would find a way to keep us here. They were so
different and our lives changed so drastically, we were
unrecognizable. Dad was no longer the uptight financial advisor and
mom was far from the news anchor she once was. Trying to find a
place for air in my lungs, I thought quickly of a solution.

“How long?” I whispered on the verge of
tears.

“What sweetie?” He asked.

“I asked how much longer we are staying.” My
patience and tears were on a thin line.

“We will go home right before you are set to
register for next year.” He said firmly.

“Next year!” I shouted. “We’re staying here
till next year? Dad!”

“Yes Regina. Your mother and I are taking
some time from work to stay here. You can resume school in New York
next year.” He said with the roll of his eyes.

“Why do I have to stay here? I live in a dorm
where you and mom can ignore me all you want. Why can’t I go back
to Will Lawson?”

“Because we said no, that’s why. Besides,
your mother doesn’t feel comfortable with you being that far from
us while we’re in Texas.”

A whole entire year in Lee?! This wasn’t
fair! I would miss an entire year with Jane, and Renee! A thought
sprang to my head.

“Why doesn’t granddad come with us?” I asked
with hope.

“You know why, Regina. He loves it here. The
man grew up with Lydia in this town, married her, had their
children and retired here. He’s not going to leave Lee, and go to
New York or anywhere else.” Dad replied.

“What about Aunt Rachel?” Yes, Aunt Rachel!
The perfect backup plan!

Dad started to look angry. I knew I was
pushing my luck. Aunt Rachel couldn’t care for grandpa and I knew
this, but that didn’t make us the primary responsible people! At
least Aunt Rachel lived in Lee! We live in New York! This wasn’t
fair and I was getting angry too.

“Dad, I can’t stay here for my junior year!
We live in New York. I want to go to school at Will Lawson with my
friends. And I’m learning how to drive so I can drive in New York!”
My thoughts secretly loved the idea of being the new kid at Lee
High School this year. I would walk right in, already done with the
hottest guy in school and wearing the hottest clothes. My presence
and power would take over those kids. I smirked.

Tears were starting to stream down my cheeks.
At this point, I didn’t care if I was being selfish. Mom and dad
promised we would go home in two months, not next year!

“You do no need to drive in the City, Regina!
No one drives in the City!” Dad shouted and letting his anger get
to him. “I can teach you how to drive here. The country roads are
easier and better here anyway! Besides, you’re sixteen now and you
can get a license here in Lee! And as far as your friends, invite
them here!”

“Yeah right dad! Like my friends from New
York City would want to come to Hillbilly Lee, Texas! I can’t
believe you are doing this to me! You promised me this was only for
two months and there is family here to look after Grandpa after we
leave! If you and mom need to come back, then come back without me,
but until then you promised me we would go home! I only had two
days left.”

My crying broke free and I sobbed like a five
year old in front of my dad. He didn’t reach out to console or
comfort me. Instead, he returned to his evil face and spoke to me
coldly.

“Your mother and I already discussed this and
our decision is final.” He said, putting an emphasis on the word
‘final’.

“This isn’t fair, dad! No one discussed this
with me! No one asked me what I wanted to do! A whole year we have
to stay here! Why didn’t you guys discuss this with me?!” My voice
started coming shrill and I started to shout. “Don’t I matter
anymore to our family?!”

“You are a child!” He shouted right
back at me. He stood up and towered over me in a threatening
manner. “
We
didn’t discuss
this with you because
we
didn’t have to! Now you listen to me, Regina Ann, we are
staying here until it is time to register you for Will Lawson next
year. You will not wear that tear-streaked face and carry that sour
attitude around your mother and grandfather. You will act right and
be a good girl or else!”

His face was beet red and looked as if smoke
were coming out of his ears. My dad pointed his long index finger
at me as he spoke. He was serious and very angry, there was no way
I was going to win or get him to see my point of view.

All my hope deflated in front of me. My
relationship with my father was forever changed. Though I don’t
know what happened to us. Dad used to treat me like a daughter he
loved. We would go to baseball games together, he taught me how to
swim and to be wary of bad boys. Dad use to care about me and our
family. Now it just seemed as if it was only him and mom, I was
their third unwanted wheel. Why did this happen when we moved to
Lee? Is it connected to my dreams? I wondered when the emotional
disconnection started. I think it started when we found out
Grandmother Lydia died.

Dear Lynda. Your mother died. Your father
was going to send a letter, but I told him I would contact you. The
funeral is Friday. My deepest condolences. –Sincerely Joan
Huddins

The email was the first time I heard of my
grandparents. I tried to talk to my mom and tell her I was sorry
for her loss but she cried and locked herself in the bathroom for
hours. I was surprised and shocked. When dad came home I told him
what happened.

“Why the hell didn’t you call me!?” He
shouted at me. His face was red with anger. I’d never seen him so
mad. I was stunned and didn’t know what to say.

“I..I…I, I.” I started to say.

“I, I, I,” he mocked at me. “Is that all you
can say for yourself?”

My father stood there with his arms
stretched out and anger boiling in his eyes. I was beyond shocked.
Heat was rising in my face and humiliation was burning shamefully
in my heart.

“No, I, I’m sorry dad.” I stammered out.

“You’re damn right you’re sorry! And you
will be sorry!” He shouted.

I expected him to hit me, he was that mad,
but as quickly as he got mad, he settled down. The redness left his
face and returned to the natural tan sheen. His fingers started to
unclench and he rubbed them against his pants. He looked down, as
if ashamed for losing his temper.

“I’m going to check on your mom. I don’t
care if it’s summer, get to bed. If I hear you up or on the phone,
you will be grounded.” He said firmly. Though the anger had left
his face, it was clear in his voice. Dad spun on his expensive
shoes and walked away, his footsteps were hard yet controlled on
his way to their room. I didn’t hear or see my parents till the
next day.

Mom was very distant now as well. She
spends all her days with Grandpa and the nights with dad. I wanted
to be under their radar here but it was getting a little creepy. I
wanted to say more to my father. I wanted to try and get him to see
why we should go home but it was no use.
When he got
like this, his whole body and emotions changed. I remember my
father as adventurous, funny and very loving to me. Now, he has
become a love obsessed dope willing to suffer in the country
for….what?

I stood up, hanging my head in defeat and
went to the tank to cry my eyes out.

Chapter Twenty

In the days that followed, my depression
deepened. It was hard calling my friends back home to tell them I
wouldn’t be there next year. I was still holding out hope that my
parents might change their minds. Though Katie, Nat and Becky were
happy that I would be registering for Lee High School this year, I
wasn’t. I hid my feelings from my parents because it would’ve made
them angry. I couldn’t confide in Jane, Renee, Katie or any other
friends because I didn’t think they would understand.

For the first few weeks in August, I plotted
a way to escape back home. I didn’t understand what the big deal
was about sending me back to Will Lawson for my junior year. I
tried to speak to my mother about it but she kept dodging me. My
anger against my parents was worse every day. I knew it wasn’t
teenage hormones. Both my parents have changed drastically. It was
bothering me a lot. Without a backup plan or parents in a good
mood, I gave up the idea of getting back to New York.

Outside, Grandpa spent his days fixing his
tractor engine, wandering the fields and fishing at the tank. Many
times I joined him. It was fun going out on the boat and fishing
with live bait. It was gross at first but I got used to it. We had
long talks on the boat sometimes. Grandpa would tell me about his
parents and how tough his dad was on him. This is the man who
genuinely walked to school in the snow, barefoot and without a
jacket for at least a mile. To me, Grandpa had what it took to
survive. I didn’t understand why mom and dad were underestimating
him! He would be fine when we go home.

Even though I had many opportunities to drive
on the back roads or return to the house, I never did. I was too
scared. Something was waiting for me to return and once my research
went dead on the town’s history, I determined my dreams had nothing
to do with the town per se. They were centered on the roads, the
different houses and a man searching for me. I had to put those
pieces together. It was starting to drive me crazy because I knew
the only way I would get answers is by doing what I dreaded the
most.

-----

I pulled in front of the house and locked the
car up before I approached the house. It was daytime, lunchtime to
be specific, and I was starving. However, this house has been in my
thoughts since I found it. I wouldn’t be able to find answers
unless I went to it again.

With a heaping helping of trepidation, I
approached the porch again. Nothing had changed. Dust and cobwebs
dominated the chairs, and broken potted plants littered the front.
I looked for signs of life in the front window and saw no one. This
time, I turned the handle and opened the door.

It was surprisingly unlocked and clean
inside. The air was clean and the walls weren’t dirty. Spectacular
hardwood floors ran thru the entryway and into the living room. My
shoes clicked on them as I walked across the way. Old oil pictures
of farm lands and open fields hung on the walls. The lights didn’t
work when I clicked the switch on. Thank goodness it was
daytime.

The floors groaned as I walked across the
entryway, giving me away to anyone living here. I listened closely
to sounds of life but heard none. No footsteps or shouts of
curiosity came from the rooms.

The living room looked right out of a scary
movie. The curtains were torn and dirty. They were moving rapidly
due to the dry, hot wind. The furniture was brown with dirt and
torn from wear. Moving closer, I could tell the color was once
bright blue. I brushed the couch with my hands and dust flew
everywhere. Coughing the dust out of my lungs, I realized no one
has been in this house for a long time, but the entryway was clean.
Why would the entry be clean but the rest of the house filthy? I
went into the kitchen to find it in similar dirty conditions. As
far as I could tell, the whole downstairs was dirty except for that
one room.