Regression (35 page)

“Are you sure?” he
whispered.

“No… but I can’t listen to my head
right now. I want you.”

“
Oh, God, I’ve wanted
you from the moment I saw you.”

“
Shhh,
Peter…”

He rested his glistening forehead
against hers, his breathing slowing down to normal.

“
I’m sorry…that
shouldn’t have happened.”

“
Don’t be sorry, don’t
regret what can’t be changed. I don’t.”

“
What do we do from
here?”

“
Nothing different,
Peter. Nothing changes. But I do think we should make ourselves
decent before someone enters.” He scrambled up at the warning and
both made themselves presentable.

“
Adya, I don’t know if
I can continue as if nothing has changed. The world has
changed.”

“
That’s exactly the
problem, Peter. You know where I think things are going for me, for
all of you. That means there will be no us, no single relationship
for me. This is all so much greater than either of us, any of us.”
Touching his face, she sighed. “I recognize your feelings. I do
return your affection but can’t make it more, and you can’t ask
more from me. We’ll have our time together in the future but I will
be a mother first and foremost. Not only for the children I carry
right now but for your child and the children of the other
regressees. What just happened was not a mistake. It was beautiful
and I thank you for it. But, what just happened does not make us
more than what we already were.”

Regret hazed his eyes as he
answered, “I only wish I could think that way. But, I have no
choice except to do as you do. Know, though, this meant so much
more to me than−”

“
Don’t go there,
Peter. I think we need to have showers, help clear our
heads.”

Adya led the way out of the sauna,
turning toward the women’s change and shower room. A parting glance
at Peter showed the dejected set of his shoulders. She showered,
then rode the elevator back to PN1 and packed for their return to
the Island tower.

The flight to the Island was
uneventful but did solidify the developing camaraderie between Adya
and the group stationed at Sanctum. Respect for her both as a
person and a peer, especially those with whom she had spent
orientation time, made for a much more comfortable journey. She
felt hopeful she would be able to break down further barriers as
she progressed through the weeks with everyone else. The men bid
her good day as she was dropped off at her cottage.

Mark, Nora and Stephanie had
vacated the unit next to hers. As she peeked around the corner, she
was met by a young man.

“
Oh, howdy neighbour.
I thought someone was living there, but hadn’t seen any lights on.
I’m Nigel Turner.”

“
Hi Nigel, Adya
Jordan. Have you been with Three Eleven long?”

“
I just got hired. I
work on the twentieth floor, we do physics there. Where are you
working out of?”

“
Ah, twentieth
floor…you would be looking at space-time, then?” Adya took some
pleasure in his startled response and then felt guilty. “I’m an
intern with the executive, so I’m familiar with all of the various
programs, even those with higher security clearances. Don’t worry.
I won’t expect you to discuss your research outside of the office.
Nice to meet you, Nigel.”

He continued to ply Adya with
small talk, not taking her non-verbal cues she was ready to end the
conversation as her eyes wandered and her hands fidgeted. Finally,
she turned toward her door. “Hopefully you’ll enjoy your position
with Three Eleven. I have to get back to the cottage, I need
something to eat. Only just arrived back on the island.”

“
Hope to see you soon,
neighbour.”

“
Sure, Nigel, see you
‘round.” She returned to her yard and slipped into the house, to
find Peter laughing at her.

“
Another conquest?” he
teased.

“
Not one I intend to
keep. He seems like a nice young boy, working with Jovan Nikolić in
physics, but he really does like to talk. What are you up
to?”

“
I wanted to talk with
you, about this morning.”

“
Peter, I thought we
already cleared that up.”

“
Yes, but…do you
think…would you like…”

“
It is not a matter of
what I think or what I would like. I like you. I enjoy being with
you. I enjoyed this morning. But there is so much at stake here.”
She lowered her gaze from his pleading eyes, sighing.

He blushed. “I was hoping we could
practice for the future.”

Her peal of laughter rang out,
alleviating the tension in her shoulders. “Peter, you’re
incorrigible. I would expect that from Melik, not from you. Let’s
just see how this hypothesis is received because no one else might
agree there is something to practice for. Good night, Peter.” She
walked him to her door, bidding goodnight with a hug and brief
kiss.

“
I love
you.”

She met his eyes. “I…”

“
It’s okay. I
know.”

“
I’m sorry, Peter. I
just can’t say that right now.” She dropped her gaze, but he raised
it again with his finger under her chin.

“
Anything you’re
willing to give is enough for me. This is going to be hard. For
you. For all of us. I’m not so selfish to hurt you when the world
needs you. Don’t try to do this on your own.” He smiled softly. “I
don’t think I’m the only one willing to go to the ends of the Earth
for you, and not just because of pheromones. Don’t shut us out.”
Squeezing her one last time, he growled in her ear while gripping
her buttocks, “But, if you feel the need…”

She giggled, detaching his hand,
and he left. She wrote about Peter before filling her journal with
more memories of the family she once knew, tears again staining the
pages of this volume. Once she ran out of tears and stories, her
thoughts returned to the present.

How am I supposed to accomplish
this? Fourteen and pregnant is bad enough, but also every year
afterward? That is not an easy phenomenon to explain to the
parents.

Oh, Dad, you love children as much
as I do but I don’t think you can be a part of this. This burden I
must bear−literally−on my own.

And, perhaps it should not be Adya
Jordan who continues on from here. Rather damaging to the public
image of Three Eleven to have a perpetually pregnant child on the
executive. But, how to implement the change? How does one create a
new identity? I’ve never done that sort of subterfuge
before!

Adya paused in her writing,
rubbing furiously at her birthmark as the persistent itch became
almost unbearable. Closing the book, she groaned and inspected the
area. The ring shaped stain had darkened in colour since her
arrival. She shook her head, muttering, “Might be due to all the
friggin itching, stupid thing.” With a last scratch, she pulled
back the blankets and tried to have a nap.

“
I heard you were back. Good to see you Adya.” Jennifer
embraced her in the elevator. “What did you do with your eyes?
Contacts?”

“
What do you
mean?”

“
Don’t be silly, I
mean the colour. What’s that shade called?”

“
Blue?”

Jennifer giggled, “You’re in a
weird mood.” She looked more closely at Adya’s eyes. “I’d say
amber, if anything. Really neat. I didn’t know they sold contacts
in colours. Shouldn’t you be in the board room, though?”

“
I really don’t know
what you mean. And, the meeting isn’t until tomorrow.”

“
The emergency
meeting…you should have gotten notice, there was one called this
morning. Some new discovery or something, Abraham didn’t go through
me for the notice.” Jennifer’s eyes clouded.

“
I’m sorry if spending
time with me has caused problems with Abraham.”

“
I think he’s worried
I’ll share things with you.”

“
Aren’t the executive
supposed to all have equal access?”

“
Well, yes,
except…this meeting. Something strange is going down. You get up
there and demand your right to attend. They didn’t ask me to
record, which in and of itself is completely out of the
ordinary.”

“
Thanks for the heads
up. I’ll go right now.” Jennifer disembarked on the medical
services floor, leaving Adya to her thoughts as she rode up to the
executive level. More than a few startled faces greeted her
arrival. The Sanctum residents were cordial, some even friendly,
but she still felt she was fighting an uphill battle. Norton from
Economic Repercussions addressed the group after everyone was
seated. She remained near the door.

“
We found him. We
found the regressee who was meant to be here rather than
Adya.”

She glanced at Peter and Melik,
silently asking them to hold back any comments they might have
about her questionable status. Peter stared at her long after she
returned her gaze to the front. She frowned at him, then quirked
one eyebrow. He pointed at his eye. She shrugged, focusing once
again on Norton.

“
He released a record
full of songs originally released in the future. We’re tracking
where the band is right now, they have begun a tour but he must be
from the future to have known those songs. He changed some of them
but they are still quite recognizable as top twenty songs from the
twenty-first century.”

Adya stepped forward. “I know who
he is and he actually is not from the future. I took guitar lessons
before finding Three Eleven and the instructor walked in when I was
playing some of my favourite songs. I think he may have recorded
them when I was in his studio.”

The men turned as one, facing her
where she stood alone at the end of the room. She could sense the
disappointment in some of them as she dashed their hopes of
relegating her to the sidelines.

“
That sounds rather
outlandish, Adya. We need to investigate this person and assess his
knowledge.” Norton apparently still hoped to prove his
find.

“
I agree this person
should be investigated. If he was Adya’s teacher, then we need to
confirm that detail. Adya, I want you to accompany Norton to meet
with …what did you say his name was, Adya?” Abraham spoke, taking
his usual role as chair of the meeting.

“
Greg Travers. His
band is called Psychodrama,” She turned to Norton. “Is that the
name of the group you are looking into?”

He triumphantly crowed, “No, NRG.
I think we have our man.”

“
Adya will accompany
you. Mister Travers could have changed the band name. I will let
Jennifer know you require the jet and a car. Please make this a
priority for the moment until we determine his status.” Abraham
dismissed further discussion. Peter stood with Adya and they left
the conference room together.

“
Love the
contacts.”

She stopped, shaking her head.
“What do you mean?”

“
The gold eyes.” He
smirked. “They’re sexy.”

“
Just a minute.” She
left him standing in the hallway to dash into a bathroom. Her
irises were no longer clear blue, instead a light amber flecked
with brown. She pressed the birthmark on her hand, remembering the
voices from her dreams. In wonder, she peered deeply in the
reflected yellow lenses.

“
How did you do that?
It’s you talking to me in my sleep, isn’t it? You’re helping me.”
She leaned in closely, closing her lids and rubbing before opening
again. A thrill ran through her stomach, and her heart quickened.
“I’d better keep this to myself for now.” Walking back out, she
smiled at Peter. “Sorry, I thought I had the green ones in. You
like?” At his nod, she continued. “Let’s do brunch before I
go.”

Norton managed to track down the
tour location of the band, playing two sold out dates, one that
very evening. They were set to fly out of the Island Airport, their
five hour flight bringing them to the show site with only a little
time before the concert. Norton had not yet secured tickets for the
event, even with the use of the considerable resources available to
him through Three Eleven. They boarded the plane together carrying
their long range transceivers, a safety precaution whenever
executive were off Three Eleven grounds.

Norton was one of the youngest
regressees, his physical body still dealing with the difficulties
of puberty at age seventeen. Brown hair and brown eyes stood out
against pale skin, giving him a haunted look. Refusing to meet her
eyes as they seated themselves on the plane, he began to type. She
spun her chair away but could feel the heat of his gaze when her
back was to him. Both of them worked in silence at their computer
terminals for the first half of the flight, until Adya could no
longer allow the silence to continue. She finally confronted him,
standing next to his seat.

“
What is it about me
you find so offensive you cannot even look at me? What have I done
to you which makes you try so hard to find a reason to exclude me
from the executive group?”He looked up, and the venom in his eyes
forced her to step back.