Rekindle (23 page)

“Those things weren’t your fault, M. Your mom loved you. If she had a choice, I know she would still be here with you.”

“I know that! I freaking
know
that! It doesn’t make a difference!” My voice is rising, and I can feel myself ready to explode. Apparently Rhett feels the same way, because his next words rip through him with a yell.

“Bullshit it doesn’t, Emma Grace! It makes all the fucking difference. Just because she’s not here doesn’t negate the fact that she loved you!”

“I wasn’t done needing her! She’s gone and I wasn’t done needing her!” My words are choked out on a sob, I can’t contain the tears that I’ve been holding back. “But now, with you—Rhett, I
know
! I know I will never be through needing you! And what happens when you leave? Who is going to be able to fix that? Who will be there to pick up what little there is left of me? That! That right there is what terrifies me so badly my hands shake. My throat closes. Spots cloud my vision. You made me need you. And I’m scared, Rhett. I am so fucking scared that you’re going to be ripped from me too. You won’t have a choice. And I will shatter. Completely. I can’t shatter. There will be no you to get me through it.” My throat is raw from screaming and I crumple to the couch.

Rhett is on me in an instant, gathering me in his arms as I cry into his shoulder. “Baby,” he whispers into my hair, kissing the side of my head. “I can’t promise you that nothing will ever happen to me. God knows I wish I could. I wish I could take all of this away from you, every ounce of fear you feel. I can’t do that, M, but I can promise you I will fight every fucking day of my life to come back to you—no matter what. Don’t let me lose you because of fear. Have faith in us. Choose faith, baby.”

My head jerks from his shoulder and I look at him, shocked. “What?”

“Don’t let fear win. Choose faith. In me, in us.”

I nod my head to him, remembering the song from class earlier today. I will choose faith. I refuse to let my past ruin my future with Rhett. I know this won’t always be easy. I also know that I’m not magically healed. I have issues that I need to work through, and I make the decision to deal with those, but as I stare into Rhett’s eyes, I can see how much he loves me. I can also see how much I’ve hurt him and it breaks my heart that I’ve done this to him and to us. “How could you possibly still want me? After this? After everything?”

He smiles at me and gently cups my cheek gently, wiping the tears away with his thumb. Leaning his face into mine, he whispers against my lips. “Because, you and me, M—we’re fire. I fucking burn for you.”

His lips take mine in a kiss that burns through me, and I feel it, right then. We are fire.

Chapter Thirty-One

Rhett

I finally feel like I can breathe easy. Last night was the first night that I finally broke through the barrier that M keeps up at all times. A barrier that I didn’t even know existed until a few days ago. She finally released all of the fear that was holding her back. It was damn painful to see her breaking like that, but now, maybe she can move forward—maybe
we
can move forward.

“What are you thinking about over there?” M asks, rolling into my side and throwing her leg over mine.

“Stuff,” I reply with a shrug of my shoulders.

“Don’t be coy with me, Rhett. You were lost in thought, mister.”

“I was just thinking how proud of you I am. You slayed your dragons last night. Many people get consumed by them, die without ever getting to live their lives to the fullest because of them. You, my beautiful girl, kicked their asses,” I say, kissing her on the head.

“You gave me the strength, Rhett. You make me stronger,” she says, sitting up. “Where do you see us in four years?”

I hesitate with my answer, because I don’t want to spook her again.

“I’m okay, I promise. Be honest with me, Rhett. I don’t ever want you afraid to be honest with me because you think I might spaz out again. I’ll never do that to us again.”

“I can’t give you a timeline, M. I’ll just say that I want you, I want you to have my last name, I want you carrying my children, and I want a house and a van. The whole nine yards. I don’t care how long it takes to get it. I’m in this for the long haul. The good as well as the bad. I’m a patient man. As long as I have you, I don’t care how long that other stuff takes, but we can start by moving you in with me.”

“I can’t just move out and leave Cam. We moved here together, and I would feel terrible if I just abandoned her like that. I mean, that would make me a pretty crappy friend if I just moved out.”

“You have to live your life for
you,
Emma. Trust me on this, Cam will be thrilled for you, but I’ll give you some time to think on it. No rush, because we’re basically with each other every night anyway. My bathroom is full of your girly things, and you have a dresser and half of a closet at my place. If you think it’s too soon, then I’m perfectly okay with waiting.”

“I’ll think about and discuss it with Cam, okay?”

“Okay, beautiful, but now we need to change the subject. Get your sweet ass up and get dressed.” She looks at me quizzically. “I arranged for a surprise, and the longer you take to get dressed, the longer it’s going to take for you to find out what it is.”

She hops out of bed, but not before I pop her on the ass and she squeals loudly. I sure hope she likes what I got her.

After about thirty minutes, we’re both dressed and heading to the front door.

“Okay, M, come here,” I say before pulling out the silk blindfold she bought. She gasps when she sees it, a bright pink blush creeping up on her face. I can’t help but smile at her.

“It’s not for that. I’m going to put it on you so you don’t see the surprise. I promise it will come off once we get outside,” I whisper in her ear, and I see her skin instantly break out in goose bumps from the contact of my breath. This makes me smile too. She nods her head and I get the blindfold in place. We step outside and walk to the end of the driveway.

“You ready?”

She nods her head. I’m sure the wheels in her head are working overtime, trying to figure out what’s up my sleeve. I untie her blindfold and let it fall to the ground. She looks up and I wait for her reaction.

And I wait.

And wait.

Then I wait some more.

“Umm, M, I’m pretty sure this wasn’t the reaction I was looking for when I decided to do this.”

Meems and Pops are both staring at her as well. We’re all waiting for some type of reaction—
any
type of reaction—but we’re greeted with silence.

“Rhett! I do not believe this!”

I close my eyes and wait for her to start yelling.

“You…you couldn’t have…you wouldn’t have. Would you?” She looks at me with questioning eyes.

“Yes, I did. I’m sorry. I just figured since you needed one—”

I’m cut off midsentence, because before I can blink, she’s in my arms and kissing me wildly.

“Oh my God, Rhett. Thank you so much. I love it, I love it, I love it,” she screams.

I wrap my arms around her and welcome her warmth.

“You’re welcome, beautiful, but I was half expecting you to bite my head off for buying it. Your reaction wasn’t exactly easy to read.”

“It’s just, I never expected you to have me a new car sitting outside. I was speechless—and Meems and Pops were in on this secret? When did that happen?”

“The day after we got here. Rhett was adamant about getting you a car and wanted our help to surprise you, baby girl,” Pops says, walking over to her.

“Well I love it, but seriously, I need to pay you back. This car is so beautiful and new and shiny. You have to let me at least make payments, because it must have cost a mint.”

“You may as well stop right there. Your mom and I tried to pay half and he wasn’t having any part of it. He said that you’re his girl and he wants to take care of you in every way. You got yourself a good one. The boy loves you and that’s enough for us. We think you should keep this one around,” Pops says, winking at her.

“Yeah, Pops, I think I’ll keep him around.” She looks over at me and smiles brightly, and nothing else matters in that moment.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Emma Grace

Life has a funny way of working itself out. It’s been almost four weeks since my ‘incident’ with Rhett. At least that’s what I’m calling it. The Incident. Makes it all seem a little less dramatic—less intense.

It’s taken time for me to come to terms with all the fears I let out that day. Some of those fears I didn’t even realize were there, simmering below the surface until the words came flying out of my mouth. It is not something I ever care to repeat, but something that I know I need to deal with. Fear is a fickle beast. It feasts on insecurities that you don’t even know you have. It feeds on them day in and day out until they begin to overshadow the hope that you’ve allowed yourself to build. And then the fear pounces, destroying everything and leaving a mess in its wake. So I can’t give fear the power. If I choose to recognize it, accept it, and learn from it, fear can’t win. That’s what I’m doing…or trying to do, at least.

Rhett has been by my side the whole time, even though he watches me like I’m a piece of fractured glass. I understand it, and I can’t blame him. He’s been my rock. My constant. And he will never know how much that truly means to me. Our relationship has fallen back into its easy pattern of just being with each other, but there is something more there now. Something that I would never be able to find with anyone else. He’s seen me at my lowest points—all of them—throughout my life, and he loves me still. Not in spite of my weaknesses, but because I’m strong enough to overcome them. At least that’s what he keeps telling me.

My phone rings as I’m pulling into the parking lot of our condo. Speaking of the devil.

“McCoy,” I greet him with a smile on my face.

“Hey, M.”

“What’s up?”

“Just wanted to talk to you before the craziness took over. The guys will be here soon for poker, and I go into work tomorrow afternoon, so I won’t see you until tomorrow night. How did everything go today?”

“Everything went great. The Friday before Christmas break is usually pretty easy, although I watched Leonardo DiCaprio butcher Shakespeare about six times today, so I’m a little on edge.” I hear his deep chuckle and it soothes me.

“Juliet is the sun! And something else is the west!” he sings dramatically over the phone.

“Don’t. Even. How can you not know that line!”

“I have a dick, M. I am, therefore, hereunto and forevermore, allowed to not know Shakespeare.”

I’m laughing full out now, and I hear him laugh as well. “Therefore, hereunto, forevermore? Do you even know what any of those words mean?”

“Meh, they sounded all Shakespearean. I figured I would roll with it.”

“Bravo, good sir. And thanks for the laugh.”

“Anytime, baby. So, what are you and the girls up to tonight?”

“Not really sure. Probably just movies and wine. Lots of wine.”

“Wine is good. Wine is better when I’m there to reap its benefits.”

“This is true. Maybe I’ll just have to call.”

“Promises, promises. Y’all have fun and I’ll talk to you tomorrow—or tonight, if you’re feelin’ frisky.”

“Don’t tempt me, McCoy.”

“I wouldn’t dare. Forever, beautiful.”

“And ever, babe.” I sigh the words into the phone before hanging up and getting ready for my girls’ night.

“What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read...if they can't even fit inside the building? I don't want to hear your excuses! The building has to be at least...three times bigger than this!” Cam does her best Zoolander imitation. We all roll on the floor in a fit of laughter.

We just finished watching the movie, and now we can’t stop quoting it. It happens every time.

“ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCCINOS!” Shayna shouts.