Relatively Famous (4 page)

My eyes are
first drawn to the hundreds of pictures of my dad. Clicking on each one and studying it intently. I feel the hot tears filling my eyes as I see the face of a man I loved and looked up to. He doesn’t look a whole lot different than I remember. Maybe there are a few more lines around the face and his piercing aqua eyes look a little less lively in photos than in person.

He’s clearly still gorgeous though, light brown
ish-blonde hair tousled in that care-free way he always had about him, his trademark lopsided smile that shows a hint of his perfect, white teeth. One eyebrow always arched slightly above the other, making you think he knew something that you didn’t, but wanted him to tell you. His chiseled jaw covered in just the right amount of five o’clock shadow to make him seem dangerous and the full lips I inherited that women literally screamed over. I’m winded from the sharp pain of the loss that I never mourned and rub the moisture from my eyes.

I glance through the article titles, not brave enough to click on any of the links. I am
too afraid to find out that he has moved on, has a new wife, kids, a family that doesn’t include me. My heart stops when I reach a link for an interview with Barbara Walters.

I begin to hyperventilate and have to put my head down on the desk and take deep breaths to calm down. I feel lightheaded from the oncoming panic attack. With my head still down, I stick my hand out and
slam the laptop shut so I can’t see the article again. I’m just not ready to read about my dad’s point of view from that terrible time in my childhood.

Chapter
5

Since I still haven’t heard from Jeff Talley at the Warren Hotel, I’m free to spend my days as I wish. I chat with Mom every few days about upcoming designs and potential projects she’ll eventually need me to pitch, but nothing urgent to work on for a while. The custom furniture pieces are being made for the Verve nightclub, so I’m waiting for the delivery of those.

Amazingly, with all of my free time I’ve avoided thinking about the Google incident and throw myself back into my usual therapy of running, yoga
, and hiding out. Leah’s advice to open up a little more keeps nagging at the back of my mind. I know that a random one night stand here and there isn’t going to bring me any happiness. I’ll have to let someone else past my walls.

I still have
almost daily anxiety attacks and nightmares so my way of coping isn’t working, maybe Leah’s way would be better. Adam might be interested in dating, but he’s just not the one for me. Regret pierces through me as I think about Drew again and know that I missed the opportunity to get to know him.

You could just go back to that gym and find him.

Right! Like I’d ever do anything that drastic. No, it just wasn’t meant to be.

After a quick five mile run on a cold January morning, I decide to visit the Village Coffee Bar and talk to Leah about possibly, maybe, considering trusting people sometime in the future. It’s a cop-out, I know, but it’s as much commitment as I can give to changing
such a deeply ingrained reflex right now. I figure Leah will think it’s a good start.

Feeling hopeful that a new mindset might help, I hop in the shower and wash away the sweat and city streets. I resolve to take the time to look good today.
After neglecting my looks for the better part of the last several weeks, looking great might help me feel more confident in making a life change.

I painstakingly blow dry and style my unmanageable hair into shiny auburn waves that hang down my back. Not one to forget that I still haven’t been sleeping well, my trusted concealer is a must have to cover up the dark circles under my eyes. Two coats of mascara and I’m done.

Feeling attractive for the first time in a long time, I grab a low cut, charcoal gray wrap shirt, pair it with my super soft broken-in low-rise jeans and pick my four inch, black Louboutin suede ankle boots from the rows of designer shoes in my closet to finish the look.

I know, totally over the top for a coffee bar, but they’re so cute!

I step over to the full length mirror smile at the girl who, for once, looks twenty-four years-old even if she sometimes feels much, much older.

As I approach the Village Coffee Bar I realize something is off. There are crowds, literally crowds, of people inside the café. I pull open the door, stunned, and politely weave through the people that are just standing around cluelessly, neither drinking coffee nor eating pastries.

What the hell?
Who goes to a coffee shop and just stands there?

I push past the last few patrons that stand between me and my best friend Leah, and notice that my normally perky and sweet friend looks frazzled and harassed.

“Leah, what the heck is going on around here today?” Her blonde hair is disheveled and falling out of her ponytail, her shirt is stained and untucked, and her usual bright smile is notably absent.

Leah barely has time to make eye contact as she juggles two cups of coffee and narrowly avoids colliding with Ben, her assistant, who look
s equally put out by the crowd.

“We got a little bit of free publicity, so everyone that read about us, came to check us out
,” she spits out as she turns back to her order. “I’ll catch up with you later and bring you your usual as soon as this dies down.”

Great
, I groan.
Of course
my timing to discuss a major life change with Leah would suck. It doesn’t look as if she’ll be available for girl talk anytime soon.

What free publicity?

I turn to sit in my usual seat and stop abruptly. Someone is sitting at my table. Not just that, but there are “someones” sitting at
every
table in the café. The guy at my table is alone, hunched over and facing the corner. Similar to how Adam sits when he comes in.

Hmmm, this guy likes his privacy
.

I decide that he would be a good test for me to branch out and meet more people since he doesn’t seem like the type to pry into my life. Plus, he’s sitting at
my
table, so it serves him right to have to deal with me sitting with him. And my feet hurt, so there’s no way I’m going to stand when there’s a seat right there.

Approaching the table
from behind him, I flick my eyes over his appearance. Winter coat, hideous baseball hat pulled down low, scruffy hair on his face that’s just longer than the usual “sexy stubble” that men favor. In fact, the way he bends over his coffee and stares down at the table, it seems as if he’s trying to become all but invisible. I recognize the posture because I used to look just like that when I was uncomfortable being out in a crowd.

Well, here goes nothing
… I sling my huge purse up onto the table and sit in the familiar chair. Smiling brightly, I start talking. “I’m sorry to intrude, you don’t have to talk to me if you want privacy, there’s just nowhere else to sit.” I make a vague motion with my hand indicating the full room. As I get situated, I look up at him,
well, what I can see of him under the brim of his filthy Boston Red Sox cap
, and freeze.

It’s
Mr. Gorgeous. Drew from the gym. The one who has been plaguing my thoughts for the last few days, and quite a few of my nights. I feel the heat of the deep blush that must be staining my cheeks as every single feeling that he instilled in me zings through my body at once, making me both embarrassed and excited at the same time. I’m freaking out inside, but I try to keep that damn smile pasted on my face. It falters when he just stares back at me, saying nothing.

Oh shit, he doesn’t remember me.

After an eternity, he breaks the silence. “Sydney.” His voice is just as comforting and sexy as I remember. “What are you doing here?”

Speechless, I stare at him stupidly until I realize that
my lack of a response has become awkward. I catch the corner of his lip moving up slightly as if holding back a laugh at my embarrassment. I stare down at the table, humiliated.

“Ummm, my best friend owns this café. I can give you a proper introduction later, it’s not usually this crowded in here.
”

I look up to meet his eyes and have to clamp my thighs together
at the rush of wetness I feel. He is just as beautiful as I remember. Very beautiful if you were to get rid of the week old, light brown stubble, the ratty ball cap pulled almost all the way down over his gorgeous green eyes, and the giant winter coat that is zipped up to his chin.

Composing myself so I won’t look like an idiot,
I decide that if he’s going to laugh at me then I can laugh at him. “What’s with the repellant outfit?”

His lip quirks up again, and his green eyes sparkle with humor
, my nipples pebble up in response. “Repellant?” he says slowly, as if he’s testing the way the word sounds. “Interesting description, but accurate in a way.” Drew winks at me as he sips his coffee.

Thank God, he has a sense of humo
r. I laugh at his self-deprecation. “Obviously not repellant enough since I’m sitting here with you.”

“Yes, but you’re only sitting here
because there were no other tables free and from the looks of it,” he glances under the table, “Your shoes are probably uncomfortable. I’m apparently just shy of being repellant enough to make you suffer blisters. I must be losing my touch. I’ll have to step up my game and find a more offensive outfit next time.” Drew takes another sip of his coffee and meets my eyes for brief second before smiling and looking back down at the table.

Now I’m
really
enjoying his playfulness, so different from the serious man I met a few days ago. I’m also finding his faint New England accent to be quite adorable.
I can’t believe he’s here!

“True, the comfort of my feet will always trump avoiding repellant men in coffee shops.” I can’t help but giggle at my own joke.
“Plus, you did save me from freezing to death the other day, so that counts for something.”

When Drew looks up he shakes his
head as he gives me a brilliant grin, trying and failing to hold in his own laughter. Just like the last time I saw his smile, I stop laughing and suck in a breath. He is stunning. By far the most flawless man I have ever met. My memory didn’t do him justice. His smile is wide and perfect and white, and that dimple on his right cheek comes into view. His eyes light up with joy and I can see the ring of deep brown around the center of the iris. I notice that his eyes are framed by the darkest, thickest lashes I have ever seen on a man.

I realize then that I feel something that I
haven’t experienced in a while besides the obvious desire that flutters between my legs. I’ve had one night stands when I want male company, I’m not dead, but this is different. I
want
him physically, yes, he’s gorgeous, but I want him as in want to
know
him. That never happens. Ever.

“Sorry, Syd. It’s just nuts in here today,” Leah says as she places a large Kona and an orange croissant on the table in front of me. Leah’s eyes flash over to Drew, who has gone back to ducking his
head and staring at the table.

What’s with this guy?
She mouths at me.

I give her a stern look that clearly says
leave, now, I’ll tell you later
.

She takes the hint.
“Well, I gotta get back behind the counter. These ladies are eating Ben alive!” Leah laughs and bounces back to the front counter.

I nervously smooth my
hair down and turn back to Drew. “That’s my friend Leah, she owns this place. Like I said, it’s never this crowded in here.” I watch Drew as he adjusts his hat even lower over his eyes and picks at his napkin with his long, dexterous fingers. Feeling awkward again, I swallow a giant gulp of coffee and decide to go for it. “So, you’re new here, like a lot of these people. What brings you here this lovely morning?”

Drew continues fingering his napkin, destroying it bit by bit. I decide it must be a nervous habit. “I had time to kill, wanted a cup of coffee, and walked past this place. It looked good, so I popped in. It wasn’t this crowded when I got here.
” He stops picking at his napkin and meets my eyes. “I didn’t slip on the ice out front and come in bleeding if that’s what you’re wondering.”

His intriguing green eyes
are holding me captive. Then they fall to look at my lips briefly before he meets my eyes again. I feel his sultry gaze penetrate all the way down to the apex of my thighs where I’m getting very uncomfortable with all of my hormones on high alert from his presence. Neither of us is willing to look away, but it doesn’t seem weird. It’s as if we’re both trying to read each other’s intentions.

I shyly smile and
drop my eyelashes as I break eye contact first. “Well, I’m glad you popped in.”

What the hell? Why would I say that out loud?

I feel the embarrassing heat creep up my neck as I peek back up at Drew. Unable to help myself, my eyes drop down to his mouth. Full and sultry, I start wondering what it would be like to taste it.
What those lips could do between my legs …
Ugh!
I press my thighs together again, frustrated as my tight jeans rub against me. Those nights fantasizing about him have made me a horny mess.

He sips his coffee and spe
aks, breaking my little fantasy. “I’m glad too. Maybe I’m not so repellant after all, huh?” Drew’s mouth twists up in a wicked way, as if he knows that he caught me daydreaming about him.

“No, I don’t think you are. So …” I can’t finish my thought, Leah comes bounding over and unceremoniously plops a huge magazine onto the table with a loud
thwack!

“Leah, what are you doing?” I
hold my hands up defensively and bristle up while cautiously eyeing the issue of GQ. “You know I don’t read magazines like that.” I glance up at Drew to see his reaction. I don’t want him knowing this about me. Thankfully, he’s not paying attention. Instead, he’s looking back down at the table picking his napkin apart again.

Interesting
.

Leah grabs a chair from a neighboring table and yanks it over, butting in on our intimate conversation. “I know Syd, I’m sorry for interrupting but I wanted to show you something and the counter is a little slower right now, so Ben can handle it alone
.” She looks at Drew cautiously. “Hi I’m Leah.”

“Drew. Nice to meet you.” He peeks from under his hat to speak, then resumes
staring at the remnants of his napkin.

Leah is stunned speechless when she sees his face. She flicks her eyes to me, then back to Drew, then tries to compose herself to respond to him.
I try to communicate to Leah with my eyes. Yeah, he’s hot, I know. And yes, it’s the same Drew from the gym.