Reluctant Demon (20 page)

Abraham fell on his face again, but this time it was to hide his amusement at such a notion. He laughed and said to himself, "Will a son be born to a man one hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?"

I was about to laugh myself when I remembered it was forbidden for me to do so. Satan had disallowed it where humans were concerned. He said laughing at them could cause me to develop affection for them. As if that were possible.

But imagine how ridiculous it was. Just look at the two of them. Unless this was going to be an immaculate conception, I did not see it happening. When Abraham realized God was not kidding around, he looked up to heaven and made a request that I could understand.

"Oh, sovereign God, if only You would have favor on Ishmael. Are You sure we can't work with him? He's already thirteen. He's a good boy. Sarah would not mind; really, she wouldn't. By now she's forgotten the whole thing anyway. I don't know if I can do the diaper duty or walking the floor with a colicky baby again, not at my age." But God didn't budge.

Then God said, "Sarah is going to have a son. I'm going to establish My covenant with him."

"That's it!" I yelled out as I prepared to wing my way back to Satan's den. "I was right. There will be another son."

I waited to see if anything else was going to happen.

Except for a promise to bless Ishmael as well (God rarely refused Abraham anything), that was pretty much it.

CHAPTER 24

ABRAHAM AND SARAH
were about to experience what they and many after them would find to be an annoying behavioral characteristic of God. He spoke a naturally impossible promise to them and then left town for an excruciatingly long period of time when absolutely nothing happened.

Abraham and Sarah had mostly given up on the idea of seeing their promise fulfilled. Then one day, with no warning, Adonai, the second person of the Godhead, appeared in the front yard of Abraham's tent. As far as I could recall, Adonai had not set a foot on Earth since Adam.

But there He was, as real as the desert sand, standing in front of Abraham's tent with two of His warring angels at His side. I recognized Him right away, of course, but so did Abraham, which surprised me somewhat. Abraham had talked to God, but he had never actually seen Him.

And who knew whether Abraham knew about Adonai?

After all, the trinitarian nature of God was a theological stretch for humanity in 2000
B.C.

Abraham wasted no time in getting the whole camp into a dither to prepare a meal for his important visitors. I wanted to get close so I could hear more of what was being said, but I did not dare chance it. Those two warring angels never sat down, never took one hand off their sabers, and never stopped looking around to see who else was there, especially someone like me, a spy from the other camp. I kept my distance and strained to hear the conversation.

"Where is your wife, Sarah?" they asked Abraham.

Like they didn't know.

"There, in the tent," he said.

Then Adonai said, "I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah, your wife, will have a son.

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent behind Abraham. Although she covered her head with her apron and tried to muzzle herself, she laughed. But I laughed harder, despite the rule against it. I bent over into a ball, trying my best to stop laughing when I tumbled right off my perch. My balance never did improve, no matter how many times I fell off that thing. I tried to stay upright, but I'll tell you, it was hard with wings, a tail, and claws. There was not enough room to put it all.

I might have gone on giggling at the very idea of Abraham and Sarah having a baby if I hadn't accidentally rolled right over the top of Satan's tail. I hadn't heard him come up. He snatched me up by the wing and slapped the giggles right out of me, and then he demanded to know what had caused my fit.

I pulled myself together and tried to tell him what I had seen and heard. I thought he might find the whole idea as ridiculous as I had. Not a chance. In fact, he was quite stoic, showing no emotion. He lifted me off the ground and dangled me in midair while demanding to know what else had been said.

"Nothing really, master. That's it. They came to announce the baby, which we've suspected for years now, so no surprise there. There's nothing to be concerned about, I'm sure." I was gasping for air.

"Fool," he snarled at me, tightening his grip. "Adonai would not have come down for that."

"Get back down there, and find out why He is on Earth. Miss nothing. It's your head if you do."

When I returned to my listening post, the three of them were standing, and it looked as if Adonai and the angels were on their way out—or up, I suppose, is the more correct term. As they turned to leave, they looked toward Sodom but said nothing. Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way. Then Adonai stopped abruptly and turned to one of the angels and said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?"

"What is this?" I asked myself. When I could stand it no longer, I moved closer. They were talking in hushed and somber tones now, so I chanced it and flew in as close as I dared. I quickly ducked behind a rock when I saw one of the warrior angels tap his sword and sniff the air.

Then Adonai said, "The cries of the victims in Sodom and Gomorrah are deafening; the sin of those cities is immense. I'm going down to see for myself if what they're doing is as bad as it sounds. Then I'll know."

The men set out for Sodom, but Abraham stood in Adonai's path, blocking His way. The men continued on their way, but Adonai lingered as if intending to talk privately with Abraham, but I couldn't wait around to find out. I had to let Satan know the angels were on the way to the cities.

I was breathless by the time I reached Satan's lair. I spilled out the words as coherently as I could. "Adonai is on Earth. He's going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, and the destroying angels are on the way there right now."

"He cannot do it." Satan muttered. "It's against the rules. They have to be held for the day of wrath like everyone else. He cannot change the rules. He said He would not destroy the world again. Sodom and Gomorrah are part of the world. You heard Him."

He looked to the others for confirmation and all nodded in agreement, though I was certain they had no idea what he was talking about. Then Satan looked directly at me, waiting for me to nod along with the others. I looked hard at the floor as if having discovered something important there. I tried to pretend not to hear him speaking to me. My mind was racing for an answer.

"What shall I do? What shall I say?" My thoughts sped by. "I'll lie. I'll tell him he's right. No, that won't work. If I lie he will see it in my eyes. I have only one option. I'll tell him the truth and then run."

I looked back and forth, calculating the number of seconds I would need to quote the law for Satan then make it out the nearest hole before he could process what I said. Satan yelled at me again.

"You are the one who told me what He said to Noah,"

Satan yelled in my face. "God said that He would not destroy the world again." His eyes narrowed. "That is precisely what you told me, isn't it?"

I scrunched my head down as far as it would go between my wings and stood my scales on end to prevent him from grabbing me and swinging me around by the neck. Then I eked out the words, "Master, you are right to have interpreted it that way. Any reasonable person would have done the same. Any court would surely side with you on your interpretation."

Satan swung at me and cut me short. "Stop slobbering. Did He say it or not? Yes or no?"

I replied, "Technically, in a word, no."

Everyone went for cover. Satan's whole body was a weapon as he spewed the worst-looking stuff out of his mouth and came after me.

"You lie, you die." He lunged toward me. I stepped just beyond his grasp.

"No, no, let me explain. God said He would not destroy the
world,
again by..." I could not finish before he cut me off.

"By what? Technically." He seethed.

"God said He would not destroy the world again by water." I exhaled deeply.

"Then I'm right." Satan turned and started away from me. "He will not destroy the world again. Sodom and Gomorrah are part of the world, so He cannot deal with their sin until the day of wrath—end of problem."

Satan was completely misinterpreting what God had said. His insistence that destroying the cities was tanta-mount to destroying the world did not make sense. W h y didn't I just let him go on his way and think whatever he wanted? I never seemed to know when to stop talking.

"No, master, that is very close to right, but just the tiniest bit off, technically, of course. Not that you aren't right." I babbled, following behind him in the meekest of postures. "Of course, you always hear right. It was my fault. I did not speak it correctly."

Satan spun around and glared at me as I tried to explain what God had actually said. "The truth is, O

awesome one, when God said, and I quote, 'I will not destroy the world again by water,' He left Himself some wiggle room."

"Wiggle room?" Satan asked as the other demons covered their mouths to disguise their smirking laughter.

"You know. Just in case."

"In case of what?"

"Like, just in case He was confronted with an unequiv-ocal, over-the-top kind of sin and had to do something about it." I lowered my voice. "Sort of like what you've got going on down there in Sodom and Gomorrah.

Technically, the cities do not represent His promise not to destroy the whole world. He can do whatever He decides to do locally. Wipe them off the planet if He wants, just so long as He doesn't destroy the whole world again by flood."

Satan paused for a moment as if thinking it over. He shrugged and said, "So let Him do it. Destroy them all."

Satan threw up his claws as if the topic were no longer worth his time. "Why should I care whether He destroys them now or never? Their souls are mine." Instead of stalking off as he usually did, he paced back and forth, belying his professed unconcern with the matter.

"There's something more. God would not have gone down to Earth just to destroy people who are already lost to Him." Satan reasoned out loud. "If He's there, it's for some other reason. But what?" He paused as if expecting me to say something, but he went on with his monologue before I could get a word out.

"God doesn't have any people there anymore. They belong to me. And why would He tell Abraham His plans? What is Abraham supposed to do about it?"

I have to admit that I too had to think about that one for a moment. Then it hit me. "Master, think about it. Lot is in Sodom."

"And so? That means what to me?"

I continued, "Lot is Abraham's nephew."

"Lot?" Satan sneered. "Who cares about Lot? He is the great pretender, nothing close to the piety he espouses to his wife and kids. He is ankle-deep in the perversion, even if he only watches for now. It's just a matter of time until we have his pitiful little soul as well."

I was jumping around, so excited at how I had figured it all out.

"No, no. Don't you see?" I was breathless again.

"Adonai told Abraham because He knows Abraham will bargain for Lot's life. How many things has God refused Abraham?"

"Do you think God doesn't know all about Lot? W h y would he want Abraham to bargain for his sake?"

"Maybe God knows Abraham loves Lot?" I wondered.

"I don't believe it," Satan shot back. "That pitiful little whiner tried to steal Abraham blind. Abraham was glad to be rid of him. Abraham would not use up any points with God over that measly weasel."

I knew not to say anything else as Satan walked to the edge of eternity and stared at Earth below. Finally, he shrugged and said, "Go find out."

I flew like the wind back to Earth and dropped down behind the rock where I'd hidden before and listened.

Then Abraham approached Adonai and said, "Will You really sweep away the righteous with the wicked?

What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will You really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty?"

Adonai turned away and looked back toward Sodom. Abraham hurried around in front of Him and continued.

"Far be it from You to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from You! Will not the Judge of all Earth do the right thing?"

"There are no righteous in Sodom," Adonai replied.

"But how can You know for sure? Suppose there
are
fifty righteous."

Adonai answered, "If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake."

Then Abraham spoke up again, "Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if the number of the righteous is less than fifty? Say there are only forty-five; would You spare the city for forty-five?"

"If I find forty-five there," He said, "I will not destroy it."

Abraham looked down as if thinking, then spoke once again. "What if only forty are found there?"

Adonai sighed and said, "For the sake of forty, I will not do it."

Abram lifted one hand as if to touch His robe, but thought better of it and didn't. Then he said, "May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?"

Adonai answered, "I will not do it if I find thirty there."

Abraham bowed down on his knees, "Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?"

He said, "For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it."

"May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak once more. What if only ten can be found there?"

"For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it, but that is it; no lower, so do not ask."

When the Lord had finished speaking with Abraham, He left, and Abraham returned home. I decided to fly toward Sodom to see what would happen.

It was midnight, and the humans should have been in their houses asleep. Most were, but not Lot. He had waited until the candles were out and his wife was asleep before rising quietly and leaving the house under cover of darkness. Lot sat by himself in the gates of the city, obviously waiting for someone. I can tell you two things about what Lot was not doing. He was not praying, and he was not expecting the arrival of destroying angels.