Remem-Bear Me (7 page)

Now she distinctly remembered as she’d run through the snow in her desperation, she’d eventually stopped, exhausted, and realized she couldn’t do it again. She didn’t want to leave her family. Didn’t want to leave her sons.

It was the trip she finally realized she couldn’t run anymore. And despite being many miles from home, she’d turned around to run back to them before they could give up on her. She knew things would be hard there, that it would still take more years to adjust, but she wanted to try.

And then she’d heard the poachers. And then she’d been shot. And everything had been ruined.

She hadn’t really meant to leave Sam.

The thought was too wonderful. She didn’t have to feel quite as terrible of a person. Maybe she didn’t even have to run. Maybe she wouldn’t disappoint her family if she stayed.

The thought made her pause, just long enough to hear several large shapes come barreling through the woods.

She barely knew what was happening before she was knocked to the ground and pinned by the largest, angriest polar bear she’d ever seen.

He was even bigger than she remembered. The lady bear in her remembered him instantly. It was Sam, and he was crouched over her, pinning her to the ground on her back.

“Sam,” she murmured, trying to get up. A part of her was still flailing, trying to escape, even if another part of her was calming now that she knew she was at least planning to come back to her family.

She would have gone back, if not for being shot. The thought was soothing in a way she never could have imagined.

She tried to move again, but he stayed over her, his tremendous weight keeping her in place.

“I’m not letting you leave. Not ever again, dammit,” he growled in a low, alpha voice that sizzled through her. “You got hurt before because I didn’t find you. But I promise you, Jo, now that our kids are grown, there’s nothing to stop me from chasing you to the ends of the earth. I want to be with you. I always will. If you leave me, you’ll take a part of me I can never get back until I’m with you again. My heart is your heart. Don’t you dare ever try to leave me again.”

Her heart pounded at his words. He still wanted her. Even after she’d been stupid and run once again. He’d come after her. Chased her. She’d been in frenzy, about to turn around and stop running, and before she could, he’d been there.

The thought was so reassuring. All of this was so complex and so difficult. She couldn’t do it alone this time. She couldn’t make it home without him.

She became aware of two other bears standing around them in the woods. Her eyes watered. They were the two most beautiful things she’d ever seen. Her sons, the ones she’d abandoned, had come for her. She didn’t know if she could ever be happier.

“I’m sorry,” she said to all of them. “But I think I’ve decided to stay. I know your lives are just perfect without me…”

The bear with the grumpy gaze that reminded her of Sebastien scoffed. She could remember Sebastien now, how funny and surly he’d been. How blunt.

“Our lives are far from perfect,” he said. “But given how miserable Dad has been without you, you’d be doing us a huge favor if you stayed.”

Her heart thumped. She didn’t deserve this kindness, but she was grateful for every bit of it.

“I’m glad you say that,” she replied weakly from underneath Sam. “Because I’m determined to stay. In fact, twenty years ago, I had already realized I couldn’t run anymore and was on my way back to you. If I hadn’t been shot…” She blinked back tears. “If I hadn’t…”

The third bear came toward her. From the intense look in his blue eyes, she knew it must be Scott. Her eyes watered as she remembered him. Surely her leaving must have been hardest of all on him. Her dutiful, serious son would have borne any burden for the family. He came near to her and then flopped on the ground beside her. Head resting against hers.

After a moment, Sebastien joined them, until they were just a loosely joined pile of bears in the middle of a remote group of trees. She could feel the love all around her. Feel the pain there too.

“Our lives aren’t perfect,” Sam croaked, the largest bear of them all. “But we’d much rather it was imperfect with the people we love, then perfect without them.”

“Oh, Sam,” she said, not caring he was still bodily on top of her. In fact, the weight of him was reassuring, as was the touch of the other two bears.

“What?” he said.

“I just love you all so much.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

The other two bears growled and nudged against her, and they all stayed there together. Trapped in their grief from the past and sharing it together in a way only they could.

But there, under the trees, despite the difficulty of it all, the hardship, Jo knew she was right where she belonged. She was finally home.

J
o knew
she couldn’t stay in her bear form long after that, so Sam sent his sons back to bring clothing. Luckily, their mates were also curvy bear shifters and they figured they could find something that would fit.

Jo stayed beneath Sam. His bear seemed incapable of letting her go. She knew she’d scared him when she’d run. She could feel his incredible heartbeat when he’d first tackled her. He’d probably been afraid she could get shot again.

But she was just glad he was there. Glad there hadn’t been so far to run back alone this time.

Minutes ticked by and Sam seemed happy to just stay on top of her, guarding her warily, looking this way and that. It was interesting, but his bear was quite different from his human. Very serious and intense and alpha. She kind of liked it.

“I didn’t know you could be so forceful,” she said, wriggling under him slightly.

“I didn’t know you liked it,” he said, and she could hear the grin in his voice.

“My bear does,” she says. “I’d like it if we could spend more time in our bears together.”

“Honey, we can run free in the forest all the time if that’s what you want. I’d do anything for you.” He paused. “Except we’d have to go somewhere where it wasn’t odd to see bears running around.” He growled. “But where there were no shooters.”

She nodded. “I remembered everything. I saw one of the girls when she shifted.”

“Yeah, they’re precocious like that. I’ve never seen any kids shift so young.”

“Well, they’re ours,” she said, trying to keep from smiling.

“Yes, they are, and their grandma is a feral, wild mama bear, so I can see why they just can’t keep their bears down.”

“I hope they aren’t like me in running from what’s best for them, though.”

He shook his head. “If they do, we’ll be there to guide them back. We’ll be here to do it together.” He went quiet for a moment. “Damn, I can’t tell you how amazing that sounds, after all those years.”

“You don’t have to tell me. I know.”

“So you would have come back? A part of me always hoped…”

She nodded. “I didn’t remember at first. That’s why I ran. I thought I didn’t deserve to be around any of you. I’m surprised you even came for me, after I broke my promise.”

“I let you run once before, and you were hurt. I couldn’t let it happen ever again.”

“Luckily, you don’t have to.”

He rested his head on her. “I promise, if things get hard again, I’ll be here. I’ll help you with whatever you need. Just promise to stay by my side, and I’ll make sure you’re happy. And if you run, let me run with you.”

“What about the family?” she asked.

“I love them,” he said. “But they have each other now. You’re it for me. You’re everything.”

She felt tears welling again and felt stupid because she was tired of crying. “You’re everything to me. I’m so sorry for the years we missed. I’m so sorry I was stupid.”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t find you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

They were silent, just holding each other for another long moment, both in incredible pain, both in incredible relief.

And then a rustling told them their sons were back.

She grinned at the sight of them, seeing them in human form for the first time since she’d regained her memories. They’d grown into such handsome, tall versions of themselves. She could hardly wait to get to know them, to meet their mates again and start the healing process, all of them together.

But right now she was exhausted, and she just wanted to shift, get into the clothes they offered, and be alone with Sam. He healed her in ways no one else could, just by being by her side.

“All right, you two. Leave the clothes and run for it. No one sees my mate,” Sam grumbled.

She laughed as the men wrinkled their noses in disgust.

“Ew, Dad. She’s our mom.”

“Just get out of here,” he said, sounding more and more like the Sam she knew, albeit a grumpier version. She could tell he was close to turning back to his bear.

She was shaking from the exertion of staying in her bear form. Her bear was unusually strong and wild, but she still hadn’t shifted in a long time, and it was like using muscles that had been long dormant.

As soon as he was assured their sons were gone, he rolled off her and stood, watching her warily as if he wouldn’t quite believe she was staying until she had the chance to run and didn’t.

She didn’t. She simply let her body shift and reached wearily for the clothes. When he saw she was shaking, Sam lumbered over and shifted to help her, giving her glimpses of his marvelous naked body as he did so.

Now that she remembered him from before, she could see the subtle changes in him. The slight deepening of the lines on his face, the broader shoulders and chest and back, the white hairs interspersed across his chest.

He was older, and he was beautiful. An even stronger, more graceful version of the man she’d known. The man she’d been crazy about. The only one to finally mean more to her than her bear’s need to run, even if it had taken years to get to that point.

He reached into the pile to pull on his own clothes that had been brought for him. When they were done and she took a shaky step forward, he swept her up into his arms and carried her the whole way back. He made her feel like she weighed nothing. Like she was never a burden at all.

He made everything possible, with his strength and his forgiveness. She rested her head against his shoulder in gratitude. She let out a happy sigh and he growled in approval.

When they reached her suite, he set her on the ground and opened the door. “I understand if you’re tired,” he said. “I understand if—”

She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him in, using her alpha strength to throw him onto the bed. “Understand this. I’m having you. I didn’t go through all that mental trauma to be alone tonight. It’s scary to stay here. It’s scary to commit to working through things. But the only thing that makes it worth it is love, and I want you to make love to me tonight.”

S
am was happy to oblige
. He couldn’t explain how much it had meant to him when she’d said she was already coming back to him. How she’d decided not to run. He could have been suspicious, given that she’d said that once he’d already tackled her, but he trusted her.

He could feel she was sincere, and it had been touching to see his sons rallying around them, sharing in the difficult moment. It gave him hope that in time they would all heal. Now that they were all together.

But right now, at this moment, they were alone. She was his to savor. His to treasure.

Her eyes glowed as she crawled onto the bed to straddle him, a predatory gleam in her eyes.

He laughed and flipped their positions, enjoying her surprised look as she wound up beneath him. He wasn’t done being alpha yet.

He placed a kiss on her surprised lips and she growled and melted into it. Kissing her felt as good as it had before she remembered, but there was something even sweeter about it. A part of him that didn’t have to hold back because he was worried she was leaving.

It was… freeing.

He could tell she felt the same, the way her fingers threaded lazily through his hair, the way her tongue twisted and entwined with his. It was all so familiar, but more than that, for the first time in a long time, it was safe.

He could barely wait to plunge inside her and go home with her one more time.

From the way she writhed beneath him, he could tell she felt the same.

“You’re mine,” he said, reaching a hand between them to feel between her legs. He slipped under her clothes to tease lightly over her center and felt her legs pressing together against his hand. He went into a smooth rhythm, luxuriating in the silky feel of her body. He dipped a finger down occasionally, noting how wet she was growing as he kissed her and continued to work against the tiny nub that demanded his attention.

Each time he touched it, it was like heaven. She writhed and gasped, and her body reached for him. Her arms were wound tightly around him, her hips pressed up to meet him, her soft thighs rose to press against his.

“You’re mine,” he said, increasing the speed and pressure as she began to breathe more heavily. “You belong to me. My mate,” he said.

“Your mate,” she breathed out, as if the word was still new to her. It felt so good to hear her say it. His bear loved that she finally acknowledged it, and he needed to confirm it.

He worked in tighter circles as her nails dug into his back and she urged him on, but he wouldn’t hurry. He loved to let it build for her, loved the way it seemed more intense when she came that way. When she finally did go over the edge, she screamed his name in desperation, pure music to his ears.

The moment she was done clawing his back, he was at it again. Stroking and driving until she was wet and aching for him. But once again, he teased and played before increasing the pressure to an unbearable level. And once again, he was rewarded by the most beautiful sight in the world. Her face, lost in pleasure, eyes glazed, lips parted as she stared in wonder as the waves overtook her.

He could do this to her. Only him.

“No one else will ever touch you,” he said, starting again one more time as she groaned in pleasure. “I’ll kill anyone who tries. I’ll protect you with my life.” He sped up once again, working against her as she moaned and nodded in agreement, desperate for him to speed up and bring them together. “Tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” she gasped out. “I’ve always been yours.”

“Damn straight,” he said, and then he swirled hard and pressed down, and she came over the edge again. This time he held her with both arms, treasuring her as she gasped through her release, seeming to barely be able to breathe as the pleasure overtook her. Pride burned through him that this beautiful woman was his.

The second she was finished she reached frantically for his belt. He grinned and whipped it off and undid his pants.

She licked her lips. “I’ll never get tired of seeing that,” she said.

“I’ll never get tired of showing you,” he said, pulling off his pants and getting back on the bed. He spread her legs and gave her a long, deep kiss that made her let out a short scream, and then pushed her legs even wider as he drove into her.

She moaned and arched back. “Every time you do that feels amazing,” she said. “But for some reason tonight…”

“It’s because tonight there are no mixed feelings. Tonight there’s no fear. Tonight isn’t just a limited time thing. Tonight, we know it’s forever,” he said.

“Forever,” she said, nodding. Then she gasped as he started moving in long strokes against her. Once again slowly speeding things as her hands went into her hair and she bit down on her lip in anticipation.

He would never have enough of this. He would never get enough of her.

But he would definitely spend a lifetime trying.

When it was finally clear she could take no more, he thrust deeply inside her at the same time he worked gently with his finger. It was too much and she went over the edge in a free fall that took him with her.

Pleasure exploded through him, not just physical, but emotional and spiritual because she was finally with him. She and her bear. They were whole together, and it made the whole experience that much more transcendent. As he locked eyes with her and tried to communicate his love to her wordlessly as spasms shook him, she bit her lip and gave him a smile that rocked his world.

Damn, he loved his mate.

He couldn’t believe she was really back. He slumped over her, heart pounding. Too grateful to speak. Unable to believe it was real.

Moments went by of him just holding her, her letting him. She seemed to realize he just needed to feel her there. Needed to keep reassuring himself that she was really going to stay.

Even after a week, it felt like a dream. His mate was back after twenty years. Twenty years that seemed like a second now that he had her. The past didn’t matter. Only the future mattered now.

He pulled back to look in her eye and stroke her hair, feeling like the luckiest man in the world because when he woke up, she’d be there once again. She’d be there every day for the rest of his life.

He didn’t know how to be grateful enough for that. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead and then cuddled her again possessively.

“I’m so glad you were coming back to me,” he said. “I’m so glad you’re finally home.”

“Home,” she said. “What a weird concept.”

He growled and nuzzled her. “Don’t get any ideas.”

“No, not about leaving. I just mean, it’s been so long. I just, it’s hard for me to believe that this beautiful place with you beautiful people is really mine.”

“Believe it,” he said. “Because after this, you’re never leaving again.”

“I get it, bossy bear,” she said, teasing him and snuggling tight against him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said. “You’re my heart.”

She let out a happy sigh and relaxed fully against him. He loved the feel of her, and his body was languid and peaceful. He played lightly over her curves, enjoying the soft velvet of her skin.

“You know,” she said. “It was really nice to have sex without fear. Without worrying about what would happen in the future, like we’ve had to so far.”

He nodded wisely. “It’s true, we definitely know what’s happening in the future from now on.”

“We do?” she asked, looking over her shoulder at him.

“Yup,” he said, resting his arm over her. “Lots and lots more sex.”

She laughed for a long time.