Remembering Me (36 page)

“S
HE
’
S READY FOR A NAP
,” D
YLAN SAID
.

Laura watched her daughter drag herself into the kitchen, dirt on her knees and elbows and one cheek. “And a bath,” she said. “You run upstairs, Emma. I’ll be up in a second.” She managed to smile at Dylan. “Thanks for taking her,” she said. “Stuart’s lying down. Can you stay for a while? I can tell you what he said.” Her head ached with resentment and rage, and she longed to talk it out. She felt used. Her marriage had not been based on a deep romantic love; that she had always accepted. But it had not even been based on friendship. Marrying her had been a convenient way for Ray to assuage his guilt.

“I can’t, Laura.” Dylan looked at his watch. “I have to get ready for tonight’s flight. I’ll come back afterward, though, if that’s all right.”

“Okay,” she said, thinking that Stuart would be around then; it would be hard to talk. The disappointment must have shown on her face.

“You’re upset.” Dylan walked toward her, checking his watch again. “I can stay for—”

“No,” she said, knowing he was already running late. “We’ll talk tonight.”

He gave her a quick kiss. “What time is Emma’s appointment with Heather?”

Laura froze. “I completely forgot about it,” she said. “It’s at two-thirty, and I told Heather I’d bring Sarah with us. Maybe I should cancel, with all that’s going on.”

“I think you should go, if you’re at all up to it,” Dylan said. “Little pitchers have big ears. Maybe it would help Emma to be able to unload verbally on Sarah.”

He had a point, although the thought of getting her daughter and herself organized by two was overwhelming. “I’ll try,” she said. “Let me get her into the tub.”

“I’ll go along for the ride, if that’s all right with you,” Stuart said, when Laura told him about the appointment with Heather. “Her office is over by that strip mall in Leesburg, you said, right? The one with that super bookstore? I’ll spend my time in there while you’re at your appointment.”

Laura didn’t feel like having Stuart join them, but she could think of no civil way to discourage him from going. The tension between them was palpable but difficult to address with Emma around.

Stuart tried to talk to Emma in the car, and his nonstop, unanswered questions only served to increase Laura’s anxiety. She turned her focus to the meeting with Heather, trying to block out her brother-in-law’s voice.

So much had happened since the last therapy appointment. She should probably speak with Heather alone first while Sarah and Emma stayed in the waiting room. The therapist was in dire need of an update.

Laura parked in front of the retirement home and went inside to get Sarah.

“I’ll get my walking shoes,” Sarah said as soon as she opened her apartment door and found Laura in the hallway.

“You don’t need to, Sarah,” Laura said. “We’re going to Emma’s therapist with her today. Is that all right with you?”

A look of confusion erased Sarah’s smile. “If you say so.” She shrugged and looked around her living room.

“It’s right there.” Laura pointed to Sarah’s purse where it rested on the kitchenette counter.

“Oh, yes.” Sarah picked it up. “I’m ready.”

“Thanks for doing this,” Laura said as she walked with Sarah down the long corridor. “For going to Emma’s therapist with her. I know you’d rather be taking a walk. It means a lot to me.”

“We had bingo last night,” Sarah said.

“Oh. And did you win anything?”

“I don’t know. Oh, it wasn’t bingo. It was that other game.”

Laura didn’t ask what game she was talking about, too preoccupied to pursue the conversation.

They stepped outside into the fall sunshine. “My car’s right there,” Laura said, pointing. She opened the back door for Sarah, since Stuart had taken the front seat. “Sarah, this is my brother-in-law, Stuart,” she said, reaching across Sarah to find the other end of the seat belt. She fastened the seat belt and got in behind the wheel.

“So, what was the game you played last night?” she asked Sarah.

There was no answer.

“Sarah?”

Laura looked in her rearview mirror. Sarah’s gaze was riveted on Stuart’s profile. Glancing at Stuart herself, it suddenly occurred to her that Sarah might see a resemblance to Ray—to Gilbert—in his features. He and Ray had often been mistaken for twins as they were growing up. Still, Ray had been in his early twenties when he was at Saint Margaret’s, and
Stuart was now close to sixty. A youthful sixty, though. He had not grown bulky and soft as Ray had. And he still had his hair.

“There’s the mall, Stu.” Laura pointed toward the strip of stores as she pulled into the parking lot of the therapy office. “Do you want to take the car?”

“No, I’ll walk.” Stuart got out of the car and stretched. “It’ll feel good.”

Sarah didn’t budge from the car once Laura had released her seat belt. Her gaze followed Stuart as he walked across the parking lot toward the mall.

“Where’s he going?” Sarah asked.

“He’s going to those stores over there,” Laura said. “And his name is Stuart,” she said again, in case Sarah did indeed have him confused with Ray. “He’s my brother-in-law.”

Sarah slowly got out of the car, then took Emma’s hand, something Laura had not seen her do before. Emma accepted the gesture without protest, and the three of them walked toward the office, Sarah turning her head to follow Stuart’s progress as he neared the strip of stores.

Emma was already playing with the waiting room’s toys by the time Heather appeared. Laura stood up. “I think I should see you first, today,” she said.

“All right,” Heather said. “Sarah and Emma? You two stay here in the play area and Mrs. Quinn will keep an eye on you.”

Sarah made no move toward the play area. She sat on the edge of her chair, and Laura eyed her worriedly as she walked past her on the way to Heather’s office. Sarah was not herself today.

In Heather’s office, Laura poured out all that had occurred over the last few days, while the therapist’s jaw fell lower and lower.

“You must be furious at Ray,” Heather said.

“Yes, I am.”

“Well, hooray, Laura. It’s about time.”

“I can forgive what he did at Saint Margaret’s, although it’s difficult. He was young. The political situation was very different. But I can’t forgive what he did to
me
. Keeping me from my mother. From ever learning the truth about myself.” Her fists were clenched in her lap. “He was dishonest and deceitful.” She suddenly thought of Dylan, of how he valued honesty, and a small current of joy rushed through her in spite of her anger.

There was a knock on Heather’s office door and Mrs. Quinn opened it partway. “Are Sarah and Emma in here with you?” she asked.

Laura’s heart threw an extra beat against her rib cage.

“No,” Heather said.

“They’re not in the waiting room, either,” the receptionist said. “I looked up from my desk, and they’d disappeared.”

Laura was out of her seat in an instant. She darted into the waiting room, which was empty except for a middle-aged man waiting for one of the other therapists. Sarah’s purse was on the seat of the chair in which she’d been sitting.

“Did you see where they went?” she asked the man. “A small child and an elderly woman?”

He looked confused by her terror. “There was no one here when I arrived,” he said.

“Try the restrooms,” Heather called to her from the hallway. “I’ll check the other offices.”

The restrooms were empty, and Laura felt a panic she’d experienced only once before, when she became separated from Emma in an outdoor market in Brazil. That time, she’d found Emma talking up a storm with a merchant who couldn’t understand a word of English.

She ran outside, calling for Sarah and Emma, but there was no answer and no sign of them. Standing in the parking lot,
she turned helplessly in a circle, wondering which way they might have gone.

Heather came outside and stood next to her. “Let’s stay calm,” she said. “They’re most likely somewhere in the building. It’s four stories. They could have gotten on the elevator. We’ll search the building before we panic, all right?”

Laura didn’t budge. Her feet were fused to the surface of the parking lot.

“If they were outside,” Heather said, “don’t you think we could see them from here? An old woman and a small child? How fast could they possibly get away?”

Laura nodded, somewhat comforted by Heather’s rationale, although as she headed back into the building, she remembered the times she’d had trouble keeping up with Sarah on their walks.

She and Heather, Mrs. Quinn and the man in the waiting room combed the building, and Laura’s panic mounted with each door she opened to find strangers or an empty room. Finally, Heather called the police. And Laura called Dylan, her hand shaking as she dialed his number. He had a balloon flight this evening. He was probably out in his barn. But she was able to reach him, and he did not hesitate before telling her he was on his way.

The police arrived quickly. They were organized, methodical and conscientious, but they were not particularly reassuring. The expressions on their faces were grim.

“A mute five-year-old and an old woman with Alzheimer’s?” Laura overheard one of them say to another. “Good luck.”

One of the police officers told Laura to stay in the office in case Sarah and Emma returned, and she watched through the window as he and his fellow officers spread out into the neighborhood, the majority of them heading toward the mall.

Within a few minutes, Stuart entered the office and Laura told him that Sarah and Emma were missing.

“I think you reminded Sarah of Gilbert,” she said. “Of Ray.” She heard the accusation in her voice.

Stuart looked surprised. “I’m going to look for them,” he said, heading for the door.

“No,” Laura said firmly. “If it’s you who scared Sarah off, she’ll just run from you.”

With a sigh, Stuart sat down in the waiting room. He had that defeated look Ray had often worn. Laura was sick of seeing it.

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

“I’m sorry, Laura,” Stuart said finally. “I’m sorry for everything. For keeping things from you. For trying to keep you from Sarah. I bought into Ray’s aspirations. He’d been so miserable when we were kids, and it always hurt me to see that. I wanted things to go well for him, finally. For him to be happy. I tried to protect him, at your expense. I’m sorry.”

She supposed she should say she forgave him. Let him off the hook. Maybe someday she would, but she lacked the will to do so now.

“I’m not going on the talk shows,” she said.

He glanced at her sharply, as if ready to argue, but simply nodded instead. Then he leaned forward. “Let me at least look through the building again, all right? I have to do something.”

She nodded, knowing that Sarah and Emma were not in the building. He could do no harm.

Dylan pulled into the parking lot, scrutinizing the area for his daughter or Sarah. Probably a wasted effort, he thought. It had taken him thirty minutes to drive to Heather’s office, and surely they’d been found by now.

In the waiting room of the therapist’s office, Laura threw
herself into his arms, and he knew the gesture was borne of fear rather than relief.

“They’re not back?” he asked.

“No.” She pulled away from him. “The police are out looking for them. They told me to stay here in case they showed up, but it’s getting so late. It’s getting
dark
, Dylan. What if they don’t find them before dark?”

“Do they think Sarah just took off with her, or that someone might have—”

“I don’t know what
they
think,” Laura interrupted him, as though she didn’t want to hear him finish that sentence. “But
I
think that Stuart reminded Sarah of Ray, and she’s trying to keep Emma safe from him.”

Although he wasn’t certain what she was talking about, he didn’t want to take the time for further explanation.

“I’ll look for them myself,” he said. There was no way he could stay cooped up in this office and wait. And Laura was right. It was getting dark.

“They’re mainly searching right around here,” Laura said. “And over at the strip mall. I tried to tell them Sarah can walk fast, but I’m sure they think I’m just raving.”

Dylan nodded. “I’ll look a little further afield, then,” he assured her.

“Go that way, since most of the cops are focusing on the mall.” She pointed north.

Once outside, he crossed the parking lot, heading away from the strip of stores.

So, he thought, Sarah is trying to protect Emma from Stuart. She would try to hide, then, right? But where?

He walked slowly, stopping to peer behind Dumpsters and shrubbery. He glanced uneasily at his watch from time to time, wishing the minute hand would slow the hell down. He’d
heard a loathsome statistic long ago that now gnawed at his brain: the longer a child was missing, the less hope there was in finding her safe and sound.