Remembering Us (24 page)

Kelsey and I found this area when we were sixteen. It’s always been our escape. Our safe haven.

I take a deep breath as we cut through the last of the trees into the open area. The air is crisp and clean and cool, even though it’s the height of summer. But we’re so high up we have our fleece jackets on to keep us warm.

Across from my favorite cliffs, there is an area that looks like a bomb exploded. It opens into a wide, circular and jagged expanse that ends at least twenty-five feet below us, but has one large opening directly in the center that produces a gorgeous waterfall.

I smile as I remember all the guys Kelsey and I used to be friends with in high school. They loved trying to prove how manly they were by jumping off the cliffs, landing in the warm water below.

Kelsey and I were never dumb enough – or brave enough – to follow their lead.

I don’t realize that I stopped at the edge of the clearing, so familiar to the sounds of the rushing water from the waterfall like it’s my own heartbeat, until Kelsey makes a pained noise and squeezes my hand.

I look at our hands that she’s squeezing tightly and then at the edge of the cliffs.

They’re destroyed.

Our favorite place looks as if it’s been washed away into the oblivion below. The lush green grass and rocky edge now looks like a melted puddle of mud. The edge of the cliffs are at least twenty feet closer to us than they should be.

“Oh no,” I whisper, saddened that my favorite place in the entire world to go, is just … gone.

I look at Kelsey. Her eyes carry a sad expression, and she releases my hand, rubbing her own two together.

I take a few steps forward, sadness and apprehension rippling through me. “What happened?” I ask Kelsey. My question is met with silence, and I turn back to her. She’s watching me curiously.

And then her face puckers into something unreadable.

“This is where you were hurt.”

“What?” My head snaps back to the edge.

It had to have been a mud slide. It’s the only thing that makes sense, and they aren’t uncommon during the spring in the mountains with the melting snow and rain showers.

I’m staring at the edge, walking closer, as if pulled to the edge to see exactly what happened to me. A sick feeling rolls through me and I stop.

And I hear him.

Adam.

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, Amy. I never wanted to love anyone.”

My eyes dart around. I spin to the trees, turning in a slow circle, as if I expect him to appear directly in front of me in the sunshine.

I frown. He’s not even here. He’s in Iowa. I know this, and yet suddenly, I feel as if he’s right next to me and holding my hand, which feels too warm to not be enclosed in someone else’s.

I look down at my left hand. I turn it upside down and, moving it in small circles, fisting it and relaxing it, wondering where the heat is coming from when it shouldn’t feel any different than any other part of me.

I look back at Kelsey, but she’s several feet away from me.

“What happened?” I ask, my throat is tight and my words are scratchy. Tripping over themselves as they work their way out of my mouth.

Her lips pull into a tight line and I see tears form in her eyes. She shrugs one shoulder, looking out over the waterfall, and says nothing.

I turn back around slowly, my eyes still scanning the area. All the answers I’ve been wanting, been trying so hard to bring to the front of my mind, are here in this very place.

I can feel it.

And slowly, they begin to come to me in colorless images like picture snapshots until everything is lined up exactly the way it supposed to be.

I look back down at my hand and hold it with my right hand as my knees hit the dirt below me. And the first tear rolls down my cheek.

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, Amy. I never wanted to love anyone.” Adam takes my hand in both of his, kissing each knuckle. His lips turn into a nervous smile right before he drops to a knee.

My eyes flash open. I open my mouth and then close it. Wanting to say something but not knowing what to say.

“We’re still young. I know we are. And I know we’re just getting our lives started, but I want to do it together. You and me – forever.”

“Adam -” His name comes out choked through tears. Emotion overcoming every single one of my senses. I stare at him through wet eyes. Never would I have thought this is what our picnic today was for.

“Marry me, Amy. Marry me and be with me forever.”

I don’t hesitate. I don’t have to. I’ve known Adam is the only man I’m going to love ever since I finally decided to give him a chance and go on the date he fought so hard to get.

“Of course I’ll marry you.”

He doesn’t say anything as he slides the small platinum band and solitaire diamond on my finger. I don’t care that it’s small. It’s from Adam and the only thing I care about is being with him forever.

He pulls me to him, and I fall down, pushing him into the ground that’s still wet from the snow and the early morning rain. It almost ruined our day trip, but I’m so glad the sun is shining now, warming the ground and the air.

I kiss him without hesitating. Our lips hit together in a passion that is unexplainable. And unavoidable.

I should know.

I tried as hard as I could to avoid the emotions that awakened in me just being near this man.

But the fight was useless. I was always going to belong to him.

Adam wraps his hands around my waist as he holds me to his chest; both of my cheeks are wet from my tears. Laughter escapes both of us, even though our lips are still connected.

He pushes forward so he’s sitting straight up and I wrap my legs around him.

“There’s one more thing we need to do today,” he says to me, brushing back my hair from my face. It’s stuck to my cheeks and neck from the wetness of my tears.

“Another surprise?” I ask, baffled.

I look between his eyes that have never shown so much happiness in them and down to my ring. It may be a small diamond, but it sparkles as bright as the sun.

“We’re jumping. You and me, Amy. Fighting our fears together.”

My eyes widen and my heart skips a beat. Or twelve.

“Adam,” I say warily.

He holds up a hand to stop me. Then he stands up, still carrying me wrapped around him.

“We can do this. It’s just like anything else we’ve fought for in order to be together. You’re brave enough for this.”

He walks me to the edge and sets me to my feet. My legs are shaking and he holds my hand, squeezing tightly.

“You’ve always wanted to do this,” he says to me, looking at me and then to the water below us.

“It’s going to be freezing.” I shake my head and take a hesitant step backwards, back to the safety of the grass and our Broncos picnic blanket.

But he doesn’t let go of me. He holds my hand firmly and pulls me back to him.

I chew nervously on the inside of my lip as he looks down at me, brave enough for the both of us. Always willing to fight for us. For me. Even when the easy thing to do would have been to just walk away.

But that’s not Adam. He’s a fighter.

He’s fought for everything he has, and I know by looking at the brightness in his eyes that he will fight for this, too. For me to conquer the last fear I have.

And I won’t let him down. Not when I’ve struggled so much to get to where I am. Independent and strong on my own two feet. I now know exactly what I want for my life, and I’ve done it all by mapping out my own plan with Adam’s encouragement and support.

He smiles when he sees my determination to follow him. Jumping blinding into the air all because I know he’ll be there to catch me at the bottom.

“On the count of ten.”

I shake my head quickly. “Five.”

I need a smaller number so I don’t have the time to change my mind. He laughs softly and brushes a light kiss across my lips.

“I’m going to love you forever, you know.”

“Me too.” I smile and press my lips against his, firmly.

I squeeze his hand as we stand at the edge.

I take a deep breath as he says the word five. My feet shake and I hear a soft rumble in my ears.

“Four.”

My heart lodges in my throat and my knees bang together. I feel one light rain drop on my nose and I look to Adam.

He smiles. “Three.”

My feet shake again and I hear a cracking sound. Adam squeezes my hand tighter and I feel a slight tug in it.

But I don’t catch his worried expression. I’m too concerned about the jump.

“Amy,” he says, and tugs me harder.

The ground rumbles beneath my feet again and it suddenly hits me that the shaking isn’t from nerves.

I take a step toward Adam, my eyes widening as I move.

“Adam.”

And then my feet slip, yanking me out of Adam’s hand.

“ADAM!” I shout, right before the mud covers me and everything goes black.

I’m gasping for breath. My hands are digging in to the dirt underneath my fingertips, but I can’t say anything. I can’t see anything.

All I can feel is my body heaving everything I’ve eaten in the last twenty-four hours out of my stomach.

“Amy.”

Kelsey’s voice barely breaks through the ringing in my ears as I continue heaving the remainders of my breakfast and last night’s tequila and beer onto the ground below me.

“Oh my God,” I gasp through strangled tears and emotions that clamp down on my throat like a vice grip.

I survived a mud slide.

I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the images I suddenly see so clearly to disappear into oblivion.

I don’t want this memory. Not the one that shows how I could have died. How I should have died.

My right hand moves to my abdomen where my fingers run along the jagged scar, the one that sliced me open from breast to hip. I shake my head to get rid of the sight I can now see replaying through my mind.

Everything.

It hits my mind like the avalanche that Dr. Hassen warned me about. I press the sides of my head with my dirty fingers as the tears fall down my face, only vaguely aware that Kelsey is calling my name and shaking my shoulders.

“Look at that,” Adam’s crooked grin is contagious. I smile as I see the bright red ‘A’ on his Statistics test right before he slams it down on my desk.

He stands above me, leaning down and whispers in my ear. “You owe me that date now.”

“You don’t date,” I remind him of what he said to me last week in the library.

Inside, my heart is fluttering madly out of control. I thought he’d get over this mad obsession with taking me out on a date weeks ago.

He wiggles his eyebrows once. “You promised. A deal’s a deal.”

I feign a scowl. I really do want to go on a date with him. “Fine. One date.”

“We’ll see.” He bends down and grabs my backpack, throwing it over his shoulder.

The move baffles me, yet I’m turned on by the confidence he carries himself with. How can anyone be so sure of themselves? Most of the time I feel like I’m floundering in a fishbowl, wanting to break out of the bowl but getting nowhere. Just peering out and seeing everyone else living the lives
they
want to have.

“Today,” he says, grinning.

I scoff. “It’s Tuesday.”

“People don’t date on Tuesdays?”

I laugh and notice that his hand is on the small of my back, leading me out into the quad where hundreds of students will see me with Adam Taylor. Instantly, I move away from him and turn around, reaching for my backpack.

“Fine. What time?” I ask, trying to hide my excitement.

Fine, I want to go on a date with Adam. It’s not like I haven’t heard the constant rumors about him. How hot he is, how good he is in bed, and even though that last one makes me nervous given my inexperience, it doesn’t mean it’s not tempting.

“After class.”

“A day date? You really don’t know how to do this, do you?”

He throws his head back and laughs before his eyes meet mine. He sobers immediately, taking the two steps in between us and closes the gap.

His lips brush against my cheek. I gasp at the warmth and the softness of them. They’re gone before I even knew they were there, but my entire body feels like it just went up in flames.

“You’ll want more than just an hour or two with me.”

I stand there, frozen, as he heads out the door and high-fives his teammate and best friend, Zander, out on the front lawn.

“Amy!” I jerk back from the forceful push and gasp. Kelsey is instantly in my face. “What in the hell is happening to you? We need to go!” She’s pulling my hand, forcing me to my feet before I can answer her, and I trip over my feet, almost falling back into the dirt.