Rena's Promise (7 page)

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Authors: Rena Kornreich Gelissen,Heather Dune Macadam

Tags: #Biography & Autobiography, #Historical, #test

BOOK: Rena's Promise
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I was all alone. I had no one to talk with about this idea. I did not know what to do but I knew I could not betray my family or my faith. Finally I said, "I'm not actually happy in Slovakia, Andrzej. My parents are still in Poland and I'm dying for them. I am young and strong, more assertive than they are, yet they are the ones exposed to the Germans. I don't really want to stay here. I want to go home to Tylicz, but I can't and I don't know what else to do." My heart ached to tell him just once that I loved him, too, and if it were not for the rest of the world I would happily marry him. "There is still the matter of our religions, too," I said instead. "I'm sorry. I cannot be your wife." I couldn't look into his face any longer. "I can't talk to you anymore. My aunt and Uncle might get suspicious."
"If you change your mind, Rena, send word." He grabbed my hand in his for one tender moment. "I will never change mine." How I wanted to tell him the truth of my heart! But I remained silent and dutiful to my family, stepping back into the house bewildered and confused.
Jacob Schützer and his wife, Regina, gave Rena a weekly allowance and asked Gizzy and Cili to lend Rena some nice clothes to wear to the dances and the movies. Rena spent her allowance on food for her parents, though. Going to the marketplace to meet their Gentile friends from Tylicz was the closest she could get to home, and she waited eagerly for those days
.
Most of the Jewish youths of Bardejov were involved with the Zionist organization. They would meet and talk about forming a new state of Israel, and held dances. Gizzy and Cili dragged Rena to these soirees. "We're going to find you a nice Jewish boy!" they teased her gently
.
Uncle Jacob approved of her socializing and informed her that he would like her to go out with Schani Gottlobb, a tailor. "I want to be able to tell your father that you've found a suitable escort." He gave her a little extra for a new outfit. Obediently, Rena bought just enough fabric for one dress, then went straight to the market

 

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with the rest of the money to send home more flour, sugar, and cheese
.
Schani was mad about me. He flattered me, thinking me both daring and smart for escaping from Poland, and didn't mind that I spent money on my parents rather than clothes. We went to socials together, and a few movies; I put a good face on for everyone, but inside I was not happy. There was nothing to be happy about.
After we'd been dating for about two months, Schani got it into his head that I was the one for him and proposed.
"Schani, you're crazy . . . I can't marry you!" I didn't know how to get out of this mess.
"Why not? Your uncle approves of me and he's your guardian while you're away from home."
"Schani, you're real nice . . . I like you very much . . . " I tried to be as kind and honest as possible without hurting his feelings. "I like your company very much, but my heart isn't with you."
"There's someone else, isn't there?"
I nodded, biting my lip for admitting even that much. "I didn't mean to lead you on. Anyway, it doesn't matter because nothing can come of it, but I'm not over him yet, so I cannot love you. I'm sorry."
"I can wait. You'll see. I'm going to love you so much that I will have enough love for both of us. And to prove it, I'm going to make you a beautiful coat for an engagement gift, so when you're over him in your heart I can step into his place."
That week Rena received a letter from her parents saying they were very happy about her relationship with Schani and she knew Uncle Jacob had informed them of their courtship. "Schani will make a good husband," Gizzy told her, "and he cares for you very much." In a state of confusion, Rena accepted the beautiful gray coat which Schani made for her and they were officially engaged
.
It was a lovely Saturday morning in early spring. The air was still crisp and snow clung to the ground, unwilling to release its winter

 

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hold on the land. Schani and Rena were walking to the marketplace when she saw Andrzej heading toward them on the opposite side of the street
.
''Hi, Rena." He tipped his hat, his eyes latching onto her soul. Her heart began predictably pounding and her face turned red
.
I wanted to do something to show him how I really felt, but I couldn't acknowledge him without embarrassing Schani, my future husband. There was nothing in the Orthodox rules or traditions about proper conduct in this kind of situation. I knew what I wanted to doI wanted to go over and hug him and tell him how much I missed him, I wanted to tell him all that was in my heartbut I heard mY father's voice forbidding me to speak to "that boy." My desires were against my parents and my faith, and for all my courage I did not have enough to say, Hi, Andrzej. I never said a word. He passed us unacknowledged but not ignored.
"Isn't that the Gentile who risked his life to bring you here?" Schani interrupted my thoughts.
"Yes." I turned away.
"That's the boy you love, isn't it?"
"Why do you say that?" I said angrily.
"Rena, look at yourself. You're flushed." He defended himself.
Suddenly I realized that this man bore me no malice. "I'm sorry, Schani . . . Yes, that is Andrzej." My eyes fell to the ground. Normally I would have stood up proudly and spoken those words, but I was embarrassed by my own inaction.
"Why didn't you go over to him? Why didn't you greet him? He saved your life."
"I didn't know how you were going to take it!" I snapped.
"What do you mean, how I'm going to take it? Like a man, like a human being, that's how I'm going to take it! I will shake his hand and thank him for bringing you to Bardejov where you are safe."
"You would do that for me?"
"Rena, I would do anything for you."

 

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Hurriedly I looked around so I could say something, anything, to Andrzej, but he was gone. The street was empty.
''Next time you will introduce us." Schani took my arm.
"Yes, next time I would like you to meet," I answered. And for the first time I felt a tenderness toward Schani that I knew might someday turn to love.
Passover came and went; winter's defeat was final and spring blossoms decorated the city streets. Looking for goods to send home, Rena heard one of the neighbors greeting her
.
"Good morning, Rena. Have you heard the rumor that they are going to move all the Jews in Tylicz forty kilometers from the border?"
"No, I hadn't heard that. What about my parents? How will I send them food if they aren't in Tylicz?"
"Don't worry, Rena. It's just a rumor."
Another woman patted my arm. "You remember Andrzej Garbera, don't you?"
"Of course, she remembers Andrzej, you silly cow," the other woman quipped at her friend.
"We grew up together." I tried to act nonchalant.
"He died a few weeks ago."
The words fell on my head. The earth shattered from beneath my feet. I collapsed without a word at the feet of my neighbors.
Above me, I could hear a man saying, "You dummy, didn't you know they were in love? They used to write to each other secretly." From beneath a haze of unconsciousness I wondered how these people could know something we'd kept so well hidden.
Their voices hovered above me as if they were miles away. I reached toward them, trying to bring myself around, shaking my head, covering my eyesI couldn't cry here in the middle of the marketplace with half of Tylicz and Bardejov watching. There was no place to show my grief, no place for me to run. From that day on I didn't care to be in Slovakia anymore. I didn't care about anything but my mother's arms, my father's voice.

 

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I said farewell to Schani and contacted Tolek, a new family friend of ours who worked in the underground. "Take me home," I told him. "I cannot bear to be here anymore. I am tired of being safe." So Tolek took my hand and brought me home to my mother's arms.
It was not a happy, carefree homecoming but it was what I wanted. "Mama! Papa!" I never thought I would say those precious words again. I hugged them as if I would never let go, as if their arms could chase my pain away. Arm in arm, we entered our house.
"You heard about Andrzej?" Mama whispered.
I nodded, biting back more tears, "Yes, Mama. I would like to go pay my respects to his mother and sisters, if you and Papa don't mind."
"It is only proper that you honor him so, Rena. Let me send a loaf of challah with you."
The streets were muddy from rain. Accompanied by the smell of warm bread in my arms, I walked the same path Andrzej and I had trod together so many times. Passing the village well, I tried not to think of his laughing face, his sweet tender kiss. Swallowing hard, I knocked on the door, forcing a smile upon my lips.
His mother answered quickly, as if she had been standing at the door waiting for me.
"Sit down, Rena. Make yourself at home." His mother motioned for me to take a chair. "Andrzej will be here any minute." She ran to the window, looking for him. "He'll be so happy to see you.'' Wringing her hands, she checked the road outside. "I think he likes you, Rena. I shouldn't be surprised if he asked you to marry him some day.''
Tears cascaded down my face as Hania pulled me into the kitchen. Hania explained that it was better for her mother not to remember. She told me that there had been a search by the border guard, with dogs. Andrzej had to climb a tree and had hidden there all night. It was so cold he froze and fell out. "Fortunately, some

 

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of our people found him and carried him home, so the Nazis, thank the Lord, never captured him," Hania explained."He got pneumonia, though. We tried to nurse him back to health, but his lungs gave out."
I was lost in my heart for Andrzej. Wandering the streets of Tylicz, I found my way to the village graveyard. I could not place anything on his headstone because it was against German law for a Jew to put flowers on a Gentile's gravethat would be considered desecration; I would be shot. I could only water the flowers which had already been placed there with my tears, thinking of the boy I used to say 'Hi' to on my way to school, thinking how there was no one in the world to hold my hand or greet me on that hill anymore.
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
After Andrzej died, the law was passed expelling all Jews from towns within thirty kilometers of the Polish border. They were allowed to take with them only one loaf of bread and one change of clothes per person. The Kornreichs lost all of their belongings, their house, and their land. Forced out along with the other Jews of Tylicz, they moved to Florynka and forfeited what Gentile allies they had left. They rented one room from a local farmer and slept on the floor, on straw mattresses. Rena had gotten special permission to bring their cow, but if she was late for milking, the farmer would steal the milk and pretend that their cow was dry. There was not as much sewing to do in this new town because very few people knew the Kornreichs, but every few weeks Tolek would show up at their door with almonds from Slovakia. Rena and Danka would take the almonds to the town of Grybow

*,
where they could sell them to the local Jews and make a meager sum which Tolek insisted they keep for themselves. In spite of all of these troubles and hardships, Rena was simply grateful that they were together. She felt useful and knew that her parents depended on Danka and

 

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