Renegade (50 page)

His blood shined bright on my claws. It was the blood of a killer, the blood of the man who twisted my soul, who was responsible for making me part animal, part man and now he was responsible for taking away the one thing in this world that I loved most.

I almost welcomed insanity. I welcomed the idea of slipping away inside my mind, of not really having to think, remember. But before I could completely lose myself, give up and let go, I had to do some more damage.

I was done listening. I wanted more blood.

I was about to attack when his words broke through my broken thoughts.
“I’ll show you.”

Show me what?

He dropped his hands by his sides and spread his fingers wide. Then, slowly, oh so excruciatingly slow, did he lift them. When they were at his shoulder level a sound off to my right filled the air.

It was a sucking sound. The sound of something being pulled out of a place that wanted to hold on to whatever was trying to escape.

We all looked that way. We all stood and stared at the only thing there: the black sludge river.

Something was rising up out of it, something round and covered in the black, insistent goo. It lifted higher and higher until it cleared the surface of the water and floated there. Globs of the black junk slowly dripped away, sliding back into the river, leaving behind a large, clear bubble.

Piece by piece the contents of the bubble began to reveal itself to us.

Piece by piece my mind began to realign. Thoughts began to clear and recognition began to dawn.

I saw the familiar cascade of white-blond hair and the hint of pale skin.

I saw a slim body unfold and eyes blink open, looking past their cage and seeking me out, landing on me and spearing me to the very core.

Heven.

A low whine ripped from my mouth as I watched the bubble, now completely devoid of the black sludge, float toward us. It was just out of reach, high enough that I couldn’t touch if I tried, and it came to a stop next to the man controlling it.

Lucifer.

Heven hadn’t been taken and “killed” by Beelzebub. It had been someone far worse.

She fell forward, hands splaying against the bubble, looking down at me. I could see her mouth moving, her chest heaving as she screamed something over and over again.
“Sam!”

She was calling my name.

She wasn’t dead.

She was alive.

I shifted, my animal form melting away to my human one, all my limbs trembling with the need to touch her, to feel her. Images from the past few hours were like an onslaught to my newly awakened brain and pulled at my attention, trying to taunt me with what I had done.

I pushed it all away.

All I could see, all I
wanted
to see in this moment was her.

I ran toward the bubble, rushed forward so I could somehow pull her down.

“Ah—Ah,” the devil cautioned, holding out his hand and halting my progress. “Now you have proof. You can see with your own eyes that she is not dead. She is very much alive.”

“Let her go,” I said, my voice sounding strange to my ears. I was aware of Riley coming closer to stand just behind me, covering my back.

In that moment he was the only one I would have chosen to be there.

“I am happy to let her go, just as soon as you agree to join me.”

Join him? Clearly while my brain was joggled, I missed an important conversation. I glanced at Riley, lifting a brow.

“He think’s we’re renegades. He wants us to join his team.”

“Aligning myself with you would be like sealing my own death,” I replied, looking back at Lucifer. I may not be completely dead, but all the parts of me that were worth anything would be.

“Perhaps.” He shrugged. “But it’s your death or hers.” He allowed the bubble to lower, bringing Heven into my line of sight. She had tears on her face, dirt on her clothes, and anger in her eyes. She looked at me and began to yell, but I couldn’t make out her words.

I still couldn’t
hear
her.

I looked back at Lucifer. “So you’re saying if I agree to join you, you’ll let her go and never try to kill her again?”

“You have my word.”

I stood there weighing my options.

I didn’t have any.

I could make a deal with the Devil and sacrifice the soul I worked so hard to maintain and save Heven, or I could refuse and die anyway, taking Heven with me.

There was no choice.

I knew what I had to do.

I glanced back at Heven who was shaking her head no, crying, trying to get my attention. Then I looked back at Lucifer, who was calm, cool, and collected. I would be too if I knew I was going to get my way.

Then I opened my mouth to say yes.

I opened my mouth to make a deal with the Devil.

Heven

He couldn’t hear me.

I could hear everything they were saying, I could see the torment Sam had been through, and I could see the steely acceptance, the determination to save me while sacrificing everything he worked so hard to be.

I banged on the bubble, crying out in frustration because it muted my words, made me stand by helpless and watch the horrific scene unfold before me.

No.

Fight.

This isn’t over.

Memories flooded through me, memories of the night I was attacked, of waking up in the hospital disfigured and scared. Visions of walking through the halls at school, hiding under a hoodie while people whispered, while they pointed. I saw my mother telling me I was evil, her lying in a coma, and I remembered standing in the heavy rain at her funeral. I thought about Cole, his grinning face and the love he felt for Gemma, love he would never be allowed to share. Finally, I remembered Sam, the night he told me the truth, changed before me, scaring me so bad thought left my brain. I felt his lips upon mine, the fast rhythm of his heart against my skin, and I remembered the night he first told me he loved me.

We hadn’t come this far… we hadn’t lost this much to give in now.

I stopped banging on the bubble, the thin veil between me and everyone else, and I stared at it. I reached down inside myself, holding on to the memories that fueled me, and I used them to stoke the fire that always burned within, and then I shot it out of me. I used every last bit of strength I could muster and blasted flames so hot and so intense even the Devil’s magic, the power of the enclosure around me yielded.

It started as a hole the size of a quarter and it grew. It spread like a disease, taking over inch by inch until I was able to push past it and jump free, landing on the ground between Sam, the man in which my heart resided, and Lucifer, the man who was trying to take away everything I had left.

Wait!
I screamed inside my head, so loud every bone in my body trembled, and I focused inward knowing our Mindbond hadn’t been destroyed, knowing it was the one thing strong enough that not even the Devil himself could take away.

Even if Sam had lost faith, I hadn’t and I would believe enough for both of us.

A sound behind me had me turning. Sam had fallen to his knees, but he was staring at me with recognition in his eyes.

Listen for me. I’m still here. I won’t ever leave you.

Heven.
His voice was felt like a single star on a cloudy night. It was the fire within that would never go out and the answer to a dying man’s prayer.

I know exactly what you’re about to do. I absolutely forbid it.

His eyes narrowed as I watched him.
You will not stop me from keeping you alive.

No, but I will stop you from killing yourself in the process.

“It appears that maybe I should have spent more time watching you as well,” Lucifer said, drawing my attention away from Sam. “That’s quite a power you have there.”

I looked up as the last of the bubble burned away and then disappeared.

“You might be interested in a deal as well,” he said, spearing me with his dark, all-encompassing gaze.

I blinked, clearing myself of the sticky, spidery web he was trying to weave. “What if we make you a deal instead?”

“Heven,” Riley cautioned from behind and I glanced at him, really seeing him for the first time since being pulled out of the dark sludge. For once he looked ruffled.

“Trust me,” I told him and turned back. Sam was at my side, his fingers slipping into mine and squeezing.

Everything was going to be okay.

“Why would I make a deal with you when I’m the one holding all the cards?” Lucifer asked.

“Are you forgetting your little problem?” I asked.

“I have no problems.”

“So you banished Beelzebub to Earth for fun?”

“I would hardly call that fool a problem,” Lucifer snapped.

“Really?” I said boldly. “How many souls have you managed to collect since he arrived on Earth? How much chaos have you managed to reign?”

“I don’t need to reign chaos because he’s doing it for me.”

“How many souls?” I persisted. I was aware that Riley had made his way to my other side, so I was flanked by the two men I trusted most. Behind me I heard someone move closer and noted that Sam was suddenly fully dressed, but I didn’t turn. I didn’t acknowledge her presence.

“I admit, collecting has been down.”

There it was—the opening I was waiting for. It was small, a crack even, but sometimes even the finest cracks gave way to crumbling.

“I would imagine having someone as immature, ruthless, and cruel as him up on your hunting grounds makes things more difficult than needed. What if I had a way to rid you of that problem?”