Renegade (17 page)

Jeff smiled to let Ironto know the insults weren’t working. “That’s because I’m
speaking English
, you dense idiot.”

The older man snorted, and Robert started chuckling. Jeff turned back to Mac. “But I’ll be through with Twain by tomorrow. You got anything else for me?”

The kid looked so damn eager that Mac had to grin. “You look like a dog begging for a treat.”

“You guys are just determined to insult me today, aren’t you?”

Robert was out-right laughing by now, and Mac’s grin grew. It was good to be back among his friends. He knew they’d chase the thoughts of Becks away. “Sorry. I didn’t think to grab anything before I—”

Jeff’s disgruntled expression turned to horror in a blink. “In the
rain
, Mac? No, that would’ve been stupid.” Of course. Jeff didn’t have any trouble working on deck through a hurricane, but he kept his books in a special oilskin wrapper to keep the damp off of them. Mac should’ve known. “Tomorrow is soon enough.”

“All right then.”

Yeah, it was good to be among friends. Their banter and familiarity anchored Mac, kept him from floating off, chasing things he couldn’t have. He couldn’t have Becks,
shouldn’t
have Becks. She needed more from a man than he could give her. Here, this ship, these friends, this was all that Mac needed. All that Mac had. And he was content.

Wasn’t he?

He pushed aside thoughts of Becks and her future, and picked up on the repairs he’d interrupted. Robert and Ironto pulled the sails up on deck, and Mac and Jeff stripped to their smalls and slid over the rail into the water, made cooler at the surface by the recent rain. It felt good to be able to float there, free from everything.

Robert tossed them tools, and soon Mac and his youngest crewman were scraping the barnacles off the hull. They’d just had her up on her side a few months back, so there wasn’t much to clean off, but it was peaceful and repetitive work. Mac liked to run his hand over her hull after he pried off a barnacle and imagine her being glad that the extra weight was gone, so that she could skip over the waves faster. It was fanciful, and probably stupid, but to Mac, the
Polaris
was a living creature. She could be eager or vengeful or soothing, just like the sea itself.

In between their dives, Jeff recounted Darwin’s theories. Mac did his best to stay interested, because if he didn’t, thoughts of Becks kept intruding. The kid had obviously taken the book to heart, judging from his enthusiasm for a dull subject. Ironto kept yelling down corrections and assertions from above, proving that he was listening just as keenly this time around as well. And Robert kept chuckling.

Yeah, it was good to be home.

Later, when they were all stretched out in the sun, enjoying the food Lola had sent along yesterday, Mac smiled. His skin prickled as the salt water slowly dried, and his hair occasionally sent a cold drop down his back.
This
was true freedom.
This
was ease, and comfort, and familiarity. He didn’t need anything—or anyone—else.

“I could get used to this.” Ironto’s eye was closed, and his hands were stacked behind his head. The remains of his meal were spread out across his chest.

“Sleeping on duty?”

“Not
having
duty.”

Mac smiled up at the forestay. “Weren’t you just complaining that Jeff was shirking?”

“When there is work to be done, he is a layabout.” The older man’s grumble didn’t have much heart in it. “But when there is no work at all…” He sighed, and Jeff mimicked the sound.

“Well, old-timer, we could always leave you at Charleston.”

“Do not call me old, puppy. And do not consider leaving me behind. Someone has to keep you three in line.”

“Ironto’s right.” Jeff yawned. “Being lazy
is
nice.”

“You would know, layabout.”

Jeff tossed a roll at the older man, but when it bounced off of his chest, Ironto just grunted and smiled.

Robert spoke up. “Dunno what you’re talking about. I got no interest in spendin’ the rest of my days moored in a marsh.”

“It’s not the marsh, Robert. It’s the lack of schedule. We don’t have to
be
anywhere.” Jeff sounded like he was rolling his eyes.

“Maybe we’re lackin’ a schedule, but we’re lackin’ plenty other stuff, too.”

“Like what?” Jeff’s question was merely curious; Mac could tell they were just talking to hear themselves speak.

“Well, not to be mean, but I could go for some different company.”

Mac could hear the smile in Ironto’s voice when he agreed. “Indeed. Some
curvier
company.”

“Maybe some company that didn’t always stink like sweat and salt and pitch.” Robert jabbed his foot into Mac’s side, and Mac started chuckling.

“Women?” Jeff sighed in exasperation. “Is that all you guys ever think of?”

Through his chuckles, Mac managed, “You’re the only kid I know who thinks about books more than women.”

“I’m not a kid. I’m just well-educated. I like women’s company fine, but for only so long. A good book can keep me company for hours. A woman… not so much.”

Ironto snorted. “That is because you are
doing
it
incorrectly!” And Robert burst into laughter.

Mac might have followed, had he not been arrested by an image of Becks, naked on the sand in all of her uninhibited glory. It was an old fantasy of his, but one that had never had a woman’s face put to it. He’d never known a woman who would be free enough to make love to him on a beach. No matter what Jeff claimed,
here
was a woman who could keep Mac occupied for hours.

Hell, she’d keep him occupied for days. Years. The rest of his life.

And where had
that
thought come from?

Mac sighed. He wanted to see her again. To taste her again. And for that reason, he was going to sit right here for the rest of the afternoon, finishing up all the small tasks there never seemed enough time to do, and
not think of her.

Much later, he stood at the rail, watching the sun set. This time of day was his favorite, here on land. Sunsets were beautiful at sea, with nothing but the clouds and the waves and the colors. But he always liked the way the sunset could look when it was broken by trees. Now, when the sky in the east had turned purple and the reaching shadows of the pines stood between him and the sky, he was comforted by the land.

He chewed on a cinnamon stick and unconsciously traced the palmetto fronds inked on his right forearm.

He heard Robert come up behind him and then lean his considerable bulk on the rail beside him. They didn’t say anything for a long while, just watched the sun sink lower in the sky. Then Mac rolled the cinnamon stick to the other side of his mouth like a cigar and straightened.

“Got a lot done today.” Robert just grunted in agreement. “We could be ready to head out tomorrow.”

“That the plan?”

“Tomorrow or the next day. Depends.”

“…on what?”

Mac shrugged. He had no good reason to stick around and plenty of reasons to head into Charleston. He had a hold full of rum and needed to put some distance between himself a particularly fascinating woman. But none of those reasons seemed to matter compared to the ache he felt at the idea of leaving Beckett.

No, he wasn’t ready to leave yet, no matter how much he
should
. “On Eugenia.”

“Eugenia?” Robert sounded skeptical, but Mac wasn’t about to defend himself. Didn’t know if he could.

“I’m headed back in.” The tide had turned hours ago, and he wouldn’t even need to row to get back to Beckett.

“Why bother?”

“I’m supposed to be courting Becks, you know. That’s the whole point of this plan.”

Robert sighed. “Stupid.”

Mac didn’t know if his friend was talking about
him
or the plan. And he wasn’t sure if he disagreed.

“Can I assume you won’t be comin’ back with me?”

His friend snorted. “Don’t want to go where I’m not wanted.”

“Why not?” Mac laced his words with enough of a smile for Robert to hear the sarcasm. “
I’m
still there.”

“And I say you’re crazy.” Robert had been back to Beckett several times over the last few days, even spending the night twice. But every time the two of them saw Pearl, the beautiful woman glared at them. Eugenia was welcoming and kind, but Pearl clearly wanted them gone from her home. It hadn’t bothered Mac that much, but maybe that was because he was visiting Beckett for a different person entirely.

Robert had obviously taken her dislike to heart. “You’re the crazy one. She’s just one woman, Robert. Who cares if she doesn’t like you? You just don’t know enough about women to brush off her insults. Take my advice and ignore her.
I’ve
got enough experience to know better.”

There must’ve been something Mac hadn’t seen, some reason to rile Robert even more. Because instead of brushing off Mac’s mocking, he snarled. Bobbing his head mockingly a few times, he tried to hurt Mac. “Oh yassa, Massa Baird. Right away, Massa Baird.”

Oh, hell no
. Being compared to his father—to other men of his ilk—was one thing that Mac would not stand for, and Robert knew it. Snarling right back, Mac dropped the cinnamon stick and threw himself at his friend.

“You sunnavabitch!”

Mac got in a powerful blow to Robert’s chin that would’ve knocked a lesser man off his feet, but just rocked the black man back on his heels. Robert swung at his head, but Mac ducked and drove a shoulder into his friend’s stomach. The black man took a few steps backwards, and grunted “Don’t talk about my mama!” Wrapping his arms around Mac’s middle, he lifted the smaller man off of him.

Mac crashed into the aft mast with a blow that was surely felt by the other two men, below. He hoped they’d ignore it, because he didn’t want an audience. Pushing himself to his feet, he brushed his hair back out of his eyes and snarled. “What the hell, man?”

“Whadya mean ‘what the hell?’
You’re
the one who doesn’t have a clue!”

Mac threw another punch, but Robert grabbed his fist.
Shit
. Mac tried to pull away, but Robert squeezed, and the two of them stood staring at each other for a long moment, chests heaving. Then, it was over. The fight went out of Mac at the same time that Robert loosened his grip. They stood in silence a minute longer, and then Mac rubbed the back of his head where it’d slammed against the mast. “What was that about?”

“You tell me.”

He hated it when Robert clammed up like that. So instead of pushing it, Mac went back to the original topic. “You got a problem with getting ready to head out?”

“No, I gotta problem with
you
and you insisting on bein’ here.” Mac angrily opened his mouth, but Robert cut him off. “
Why
are we still here, Mac?”

“Eugenia—”

“It’s not because of an old woman!
Why are we still here?”

Robert glared at him until Mac had to look away. “We’re here because I say we’re here.”

“That reasoning don’t sound stupid to you?” It made him sound like his father, Mac knew. Robert’s mocking had been right, but he wasn’t about to admit it.

But then his friend sighed. “
I
know why you’re still here, Mac. I wanna know if
you
know.”

It was a full minute before he admitted the truth to himself, much less the other man. “Becks.” Mac folded his arms across his chest, and planted his feet as if daring his friend to make something of the admission.

But Robert just nodded and turned away towards the rail again. “Glad to hear you admit it.” Mac refused to respond. He didn’t know how. “So now,” Robert’s voice was deceptively neutral, “what I wanna know is what you’re planning on
doing
about it.”

Mac grunted. “Nothing
to
do. She…”

“She what?”

“She deserves more.”

“More than you?”

Mac didn’t agree, but knew that he didn’t need to. Robert understood, because Robert always understood. He had even less than Mac did even though they were partners.

“If we’re leaving, we’re leaving. I don’t want to get involved, and then…”
And then leave her.

“Why don’t you
ask
her, Mac?”

He just looked at his friend, the muscles in his jaw tightening, trying to decide what Robert was telling him. The other man sighed, and braced his hands against the rail. “She’s different, Mac. That’s why you like her. Right?”

Mac’s nod was wary now, trying to figure out what Robert meant. “And you don’t think you can have her because you think she deserves more, right?”

“She
does
deserve more.”