Renegade (25 page)

He bangs a hand on the end table, making the lamp wobble back and forth. “Damn it, Evie. This isn’t funny. You could have died and I would have never known.”

“That’s not true. Mother would have…” I trail off and look to my hands when his eyes flash.

“Oh, yeah. That’s
exactly
how I want to find out you died. Don’t you care about anyone but yourself?”

His words steal my breath. I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach and I cross my arms around it. His words are so close to what Macie said.

“I care about you,” I whisper, blinking back tears.

“Do you? Because you haven’t shown it.”

Haven’t shown it?
Haven’t shown it?
“I’ve risked my life to help you escape, haven’t I? I’m giving up my home to help you. Isn’t that enough?”

“No!” he says.

“What else do you want from me?”

“I want you to—” He cuts himself off and thins his lips.

“What?”

“I want you to … trust me. To let me help you when you need it.”

I weave my brows together. I’m sure that’s not what he was going to say, but he’s crossed his arms over his chest and I doubt I’ll get the real answer.

“I want to know I can trust you, too. That you won’t leave me behind like some incompetent ass that can’t take care of himself, let alone his girl.”

His voice is quiet now and I can hear so much sadness behind it, I immediately feel ashamed for not trusting him, when he trusted me.

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” I finally say. “I trust you. I won’t do it again.”

He looks up at me, suspicion clouding his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. You and me. Together. Until the end. For better or worse.”

He raises an eyebrow, and he gives me a tilted smile. “Until the end,” he repeats. Then he’s pulling me in for a shaky hug, squeezing so tightly I squeak when I try to breathe. When he hears the squeak, he releases me a fraction.

“I’m sorry, Gavin,” I say. “I really am. I can’t imagine what it was like waiting for me.”

He pulls back and I’m sure I’m in for another lecture, but then his mouth crushes down on mine, his hands traveling over every available space on my body.

I’m so shocked I don’t do anything. This kiss is different from our others. Way different. My heart thunders in my ears and kicks in my chest. My breaths turn ragged. My head spins, but this time there’s no panic. Only surprise. And pleasure.

When he finally releases me, I wobble.

We stare at each other, until Macie clears her throat. “Touching by unCoupleds is against the law. Unless, of course, you’d like to share something with me.”

I turn my attention to her. She’s standing now, and although her stance is wary, there’s a hint of amusement in her eyes, and the corner of her lips quiver with a smile.

“You’re one to talk,” I blurt out, and then frown. How did I know that?

She only continues to smile, not even pretending to correct me.

Gavin flashes me a grin. “So, you going to show me what’s under your dress?” he asks with a look toward my chest.

Huh? “Under my … Oh!” I laugh when I realize he felt the data cube in my bra. I pull it out and hand it to him.

“What is this?” he says, studying it.

“It’s a data cube. It’s got some information I think we can use.” Finally, I say, “Have you forgiven me, then? For leaving you here?”

“No,” he says bluntly, without even looking at me.

“Oh.”

“But I understand why you did it.” He turns to face me. “I suppose I would have done the same thing.” He takes the hands I’m clenching at my sides and clasps them between his. “And you promised to never do it again. I trust you.”

“You do?” I ask, completely shocked. “Still?”

“Yes. I do.”

Macie clears her throat again and I look at her. Her eyes are red, and I’m sure it’s from crying. In order to preserve her dignity, I ignore it and hope Gavin does, too.

I step back from Gavin and hold up the data cube. “I brought back some interesting goodies. Feel like doing some analysis for me?” I ask.

She sniffles, then nods and takes the data cube. “What is this?”

I gesture for her to sit, then tell them about what had happened with Mother in her quarters. They’re both leaning forward by the end of it.

“Who was the picture of?” Gavin asks.

“I don’t know. It was a woman, and she was holding a small child on her lap.”

Macie pops the cube into her computer system and a section of her wall lights up to reveal a holographic display. Gavin’s eyes just about pop out of his head.

“That is wicked!” he says. “I wish we had something like this, but we’ve only got these crappy things that don’t work most of the time.”

Macie and I share a smile before going back to look through the files. She takes half and moves them over to another screen and I stay on the first. We look through them for what feels like forever until I find what I’m looking for.

It’s a diary. Mother’s diary.

I almost shut it down, thinking it’s too personal and probably of no use to us, when something catches my eye. It’s an entry from when Mother was a child.

F
EBRUARY 1

Daddy says it’s time to go. He can’t stand the thought of losing me, too, so he’s going to go to the only place he knows is safe. We’re going to move to his resort. Elysium! That’s the one under the ocean! Mother never much cared for that one. She was much too afraid of being underwater, so I’ve only been there once. But it’s beautiful.

Daddy’s asked me for a list of my friends and their families to come with us, but I don’t want anyone there but Daddy and I. No one else
deserves
to live in such a lovely place. They didn’t care that Mother died. They didn’t even try
calling
to see if I was all right! Even when they
knew
I saw those awful people shoot her just because she was wearing some gold necklaces! They even took my favorite hairband! The one with all the diamonds on it.

I don’t care that Daddy said my friends just didn’t know what to say or do. Mother always said that ignorance is no excuse for bad manners. But he’s inviting his friends and I suppose I don’t want to be around people older than me all the time, so I’ll make the stupid list.

The next eight years of entries talk about how much she idolized her “perfect” father, how he could never do any wrong, and reminiscing about her “perfect” mother. How she’s surprised about what Father allows to happen, and how her mother would never have tolerated some of the goings-on. And more and more rants about the Surface and the Surface Dwellers as she’s started calling them. Nothing all that important or surprising, just the incoherent ramblings of someone becoming increasingly hostile to the happenings on the Surface, so I just scroll through them, scanning for important information until I find what I was looking for: the day Mother took control of Elysium.

J
UNE 6

Father has gone out of his mind. He actually wants to return to the Surface. He says they’ve changed. The people who live up there. The ones who started the War.

Even after it ended, they still tore apart the land with their manipulations, greed, and hostilities. Worst yet, he seems to have forgotten that they are the ones who took Mother from us.

He says he misses the sky and fresh air. That he wants to look at more than just the walls of this complex. How utterly ridiculous. What’s prettier than the sea and its inhabitants? I asked him, but he just says it’s because I don’t remember the Surface. I remember the Surface, all right. It was filthy and disgusting and lawless.

How a civilized person is expected to live, let alone thrive up there, I have no idea, but I know that it’s my responsibility to talk sense into Father.

J
UNE 7

Father refused to listen to reason and insists that all his guests—and that includes me—must return to the Surface. I consider this nothing short of betrayal of Mother and myself and have rectified the situation in the only way befitting a betrayer.

J
ULY 1

I have taken official control of the city. There is much to be done to cleanse the taint of the Surface Dweller from my fair city. Elysium has remained mostly disconnected from the Surface and we have the capability to become fully self-sufficient with minimal effort and changes. All we need is the addition of a fully equipped medical center, agricultural sector, and a separate residential area. I refuse to live in the same space as those that Father deemed acceptable.

The taint from the Surface has infiltrated farther than I thought. However, the situation should be easily rectified with stricter rules and harsher punishments. I will rule with an “iron fist,” as they say. This will no longer be a relaxing resort, but a thriving city. No matter the cost.

I’m certain there will be those who resist, but any further betrayals will not be tolerated. Dissenters will meet the same punishment as Father.

I must remain forward-thinking. And the first step into making this city perfect is to “purify” the city, by removing all carriers of unwanted genetics and preserving those that fit the model of perfection I’m striving for.

C
HAPTER
T
WENTY

Subject 121, Evelyn Winters: It appears she is resistant to normal Conditioning techniques. All methods have failed, seemingly at an increased rate each treatment. I believe a full medical evaluation will be needed to determine the cause.

—
D
R.
F
RIAR, PROGRESS NOTE TO
M
OTHER

My gaze moves over to Gavin, shock rendering me mute. He was right. Mother lied about who founded the city, and why the city was founded. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised he was right. The real question is, when has he been wrong?

He must sense me staring at him, because he turns and smiles at me. It slips when he sees my face.

“What’s wrong?” He jumps up from his seat.

Macie turns and frowns at me. “Sweetie? What’s wrong?”

I only gesture back to the screen. I can’t make myself say the words. I’m not sure why this surprises me so much. It only makes sense. Her hatred for the Surface. Her obsession with everyone being perfect. Her words in her room. Gavin and Macie crowd behind me, and I know the minute they realize what they’re seeing as their mouths drop open. It would be comical if not for the foreboding feeling I’ve got in the pit of my stomach.

“No way!” Macie says. “The city isn’t that old. Our history teachers said so. We are the first children.”

“Think about it,” I say quietly. “You said it yourself. She’s the one in charge of the curriculum. If I said the water was purple, she’d change it. She changed the lessons to state her truth.”

“But why?” Macie asks.

I exchange a look with Gavin. “Because she didn’t want anyone to challenge her authority.”

“I don’t understand.” She tugs on her hair in a way I’ve seen dozens of times before whenever she’s frustrated. I can’t say I don’t know how she feels. I want to pull my own hair out, but I know it won’t do any good.

“Haven’t you ever wondered why there isn’t a Sector One?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “I always thought that was the Palace Wing.”

Fair enough. “Okay, well, Gavin and I found an abandoned Sector. And it looks identical to Sector Two. I think that’s Sector One.”

Her eyes widen. “What?”

“There’s no one living there. Hasn’t been for a long time, if the dust is any indication. About thirty years or so.”

“What happened to all the people?”

I open my mouth to tell her, but no sound comes out. I can’t force myself to tell her. I look down at the floor instead.

Gavin squeezes my shoulder. “We think they were killed.”

She sinks down so she’s sitting on the couch again. “Why?”

“Because they were trying to escape.” I keep my attention focused on the tips of my shoes. “Even then, Mother had strict rules.”

“From what we can gather,” Gavin continues, “someone snitched, and they had to escape quickly, but we’re not so sure any of them actually made it.”

I go on to explain the journal entries in detail.

“Oh, Mother,” Macie said. Her face is as white as her walls. Her blue eyes pop in contrast. “So, she just erased them? Like they didn’t exist?” Then she sighs. “Of course she did. Hasn’t she been doing that with the people who disobey her? Just on a smaller scale. I’ll bet that’s why she came up with the Enforcers.”

I nod, pleased she is taking this better than I’d expected. “Exactly. In fact it says right here”—I point to further down on the screen—“the Enforcers gave her the idea for genetic manipulation. So, it all leads back to Sector One.”

That reminds me about the files I found with my name on it, but I go back to reading Mother’s journal. I’m hoping that maybe the answer to my problem is in there. If not, I can always dive into the other files.

The entries are full of fear and deep gratitude for the safety of Elysium. I can’t make sense of it all. There seems to be entries missing, and sometimes she devolves into some kind of code. I think she was getting paranoid. And the more paranoid she got, the more she wanted total control.