Rentboy (15 page)

“This is the way to Regent’s Park. I want to do it in Queen Mary’s Garden.”

“Fox!” Eddie pulled him to a standstill. “Why can’t we go to my flat? We could get caught. Arrested. It’s only half past six. It won’t be dark for hours yet.”

“Eddie, what do I tell you?”

“Live a little?”

“That’s right.”

All along the Tottenham Court Road they held hands while Fox told himself it had to end tonight, but he was just so happy being with Eddie. Fox drew stares from ordinary people at the best of times, but holding hands with a geek made him stand out even more. He’d tell Eddie later after they’d made out in the park. After he had kissed him and held him one last time.

“I think Nik really likes you,” Eddie said. “She’s phoned or texted me every day this week asking if I’ve seen you.”

“Yeah? I like her too.” Fox had turned off his phone when Nik would not stop calling and texting him, asking when he was going to talk with Eddie. She would not lie for him any longer.

On any warm summer evening in London the Royal Parks were abuzz with tourists and locals alike. They reached Regent’s Park and headed for Queen Mary’s Garden, wandering through people sitting on the lawns chatting, children playing, parents videoing their kids. A large group of young teenage boys began catcalling when Fox and Eddie walked past them hand in hand. “Look at the emo queers.” One of them walked up and down in an effeminate way, waving limp wrists.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, dude. He’s a karate black belt,” Fox said, but he didn’t actually give a shit what they did. He was used to it. The kids didn’t threaten them in any real way, and Fox was too happy with Eddie to care.

“You know, one in ten of the population is gay.” Eddie pointed at them. “That means one of you is gay.”

The boys looked at each other before screaming with laughter and accusing each other. “It’s you.”

“No, it’s you!”

Shoulders shaking with laughter, Fox led Eddie across the park toward the Inner Circle and Queen Mary’s Garden. Without warning, Eddie stopped to watch a short, stocky man walking away talking on a mobile. “Fancy him?” Fox asked.

Looking distracted, Eddie said, “I thought for a minute it was my boss, but it can’t be. Why would he be here? I just said good-bye to him. And as for fancying him, I can’t stand the man.”

“Oh, right. You were talking about him at your birthday dinner with your dad. Come on. We’re going in the bushes.”

His forehead furrowed with worry, Eddie said, “I don’t think we should do this here. Remember what happened in Russell Square. The police caught us, and that was late at night.”

“They
almost
caught us.”

“You can’t almost catch someone. You either catch them or you don’t. And they did. They just didn’t get their hands on us that night.”

“Will you stop analyzing everything, for fuck’s sake! Shut up and enjoy.”

The scent of roses hit Fox like a bucket of water in the face when they walked through the big ornamental gates of the rose garden. Thankfully pedestrian traffic was relatively thin inside. Drawn by the splashing of water, Fox wandered toward the Triton Fountain. The heavy aroma of roses, together with the gentle sound of running water under a dusky sky on a warm summer evening, was made all the more perfect because a man who was as innocent as he was brilliant stood beside him. And Fox was nuts about him. “Utopia.”

“An essay by Sir Thomas More.” Eddie threw his arm around Fox’s shoulders.

“No, Eddie. This is Utopia.”

“Utopia refers to a perfect political, social, and religious structure.”

“Eddie.” Fox looked up into his warm, gentle eyes. “This moment with you here in this garden is Utopia. Utopia is perfection, and this moment is it. Now stop fucking with my head.”

There is no future and no past. We live right now in the bubble of this moment. Me and Eddie, forever and ever.

Utopia cracked down the middle when a harsh voice called out, “When you’ve finished, lover boys, the garden is closing in a few minutes.”

“The park closes at half past nine,” Fox called back.

“But the rose garden closes at half past seven.”

“No problem,” Fox called. He took Eddie’s hand and began to walk back in the direction of the gates. The moment the park keeper was out of sight, he drew Eddie away from the gates and into the bushes.

“Fox, no! That man will lock the gates; then we’ll be stuck till morning.”

“Don’t be a doofus. We’ll climb over the railings.”

“They’re eight feet high, and I can’t climb,” Eddie protested. “I was hopeless on the monkey bars when I was little. Too awkward. I broke my ankle twice, broke my arm once, dislocated my shoulder, and that was all just in the school yard. I ended up in a neck brace for two months when my parents took us skiing.”

Yeah, that sounded like Eddie. “If I can do it in a kilt, you can do it in your corduroys.”

“Oh, all right.” Eddie smiled, touching Fox’s cheek. “I could probably do anything with your encouragement, dear.”

“Don’t get mushy on me.”

A variety of beautiful, tall, thick bushes formed a semicircle on one side of the fountain. They were well concealed sitting down on the cool ground, so when the park keeper returned, calling out, “The garden is closing,” they held their breath and waited. Repeatedly the man cried out, his voice coming from varying distances away until he had covered the garden. The clang of the gates being closed and locked followed.

Fox turned to Eddie and kissed him on the lips. “Now it’s just us in the Garden of Eden.”

Fox stood up to lead Eddie out of the bushes to an open area under a tall, waving elm tree. On the grass they lay down side by side, completely protected from the prying eyes of those passing the railing by shrubs, trees, and borders of tall rosebushes. On their backs, hands behind their heads, they watched the waving branches and scudding clouds like a couple of schoolboys.

Fox pointed at a phallic-looking shape in the clouds. “That’s an erect cock.”

“No, it’s not. It’s a Bunsen burner,” Eddie said.

There were times when he was a kid that Fox remembered being happy. William Baillie had actually seemed proud of him for a while and would take him round the base when he was three or four years old, telling the other servicemen and women,
“This is Fox. He’s going to be a soldier one day, the fourth generation of soldiers in the Baillie family. Right, lad?”
To please his father, Fox would say,
“Yes, Daddy.”
But he knew he was never going to join up, and even then he dreaded telling his father.

“Are you all right?” Eddie asked.

Shoving the past from his mind, Fox said, “Yeah, I’m great.”

“Dear, I love you so much. I can’t stop thinking about you. Will you move in with me?”

Uneasiness began in the pit of Fox’s belly.
Don’t do this, not now.
“We’re not here to discuss the future.” That could wait till later, because before the evening was out he had to tell Eddie they had no future. “We are in the moment, in Utopia, in paradise, the Garden of Eden. Now take your pants off.”

The usual panicked response from Eddie made Fox smile. “I can’t, not here. We’re in public.”

“The public is outside that railing.
Dear
.” With a quick movement Fox shimmied out of his kilt and removed the footless leggings, stretching them impossibly to get them over his boots. He had no underwear on. In just his shirt, waistcoat, and boots, he stood with hands on hips, looking at the shock in Eddie’s sweet face. Fox’s cock jutted out, not terribly big, but thick and pink with blood at that moment. “Get your kecks off.”

Glancing around, Eddie dropped his trousers to his knees, followed quickly by his white underpants, making him walk like a penguin when he took a couple of steps toward Fox. Fox turned to the tree and hugged its thick trunk with both arms. Positioning his feet wide, he thrust his hips out. “There’s some johnnies in my backpack in the front pocket.”

With his cheek pressed against the rough bark of the old tree, Fox waited with his eyes closed. The heady smell of the roses and the warm evening air on his bare buttocks were heaven. The rose garden was deep in the park muffling it from the traffic noises of London. The evening chorus of birds filled his head. His senses were overwhelmed, and when Eddie pushed the tip of his cock between Fox’s buttocks and placed his hands on Fox’s hips, it was almost too much, but not quite enough to tip him over into orgasm.

The first thrust filled his arse, arousing and comforting him at the same time. A powerful friction began as Eddie withdrew almost to the very tip of his cock, then thrust again deep inside, making Fox’s anus burn. Eddie’s cock was bigger than Fox’s, thicker and longer, and after that first night of fumbling, he had learned quickly how to use it. In and out he worked as Fox focused all his attention on the sensation in his arse, on Eddie’s large, bony hands gripping his hips, holding them still while he reamed him, and the thick cock thrusting deep inside him, then almost disappearing before thrusting again.

After a while he allowed his senses to focus on his tensely hard cock. With care, so as not to disturb Eddie’s rhythm, he inched his feet closer to the tree until his cock pressed against the rough bark. With each thrust up his arse, his cock rocked against the tree, rubbing it in a way that was both painful and unbearably erotic.

“Fox, I’m going to come.” Eddie panted against his ear.

Eddie’s cock slammed harder for several long thrusts, crushing Fox’s groin against the tree, making his orgasm rush through his body. Unable to control himself, he cried out loudly. Eddie was quieter, and when they came to a rest, Fox was pinned against the tree by Eddie’s body. If he hadn’t been held up at that moment, his knees might have buckled.

“Fox, I love. I love you,” Eddie whispered against his ear, kissing it between words.

There was no response to make. He loved Eddie right back, but there was no point in saying it. Eddie slid his cock out but still held him tightly.

“Let’s lie on the grass before I fall down.” Fox stepped back from the tree and looked at his sperm trickling down the trunk. Together they flopped down on their backs, Fox rolling into Eddie’s arms. The tingling remains of his orgasm pulsed in Fox’s cock and down his legs. The cool grass on his buttocks felt amazingly wonderful after the heat of Eddie’s groin.

“Move in with me,” Eddie said after a time. “You could go to art school.”

“The twins—” Fox began, but Eddie cut him off.

“They can live with us. We’ll get a two-bedroom flat.”

“You’re spoiling Utopia, mate. Stop it. My mum wouldn’t let me take them anyway.” Actually she wouldn’t even notice.

“Then it’ll be just us, and they can visit. You don’t live with them day to day. It would be like now, except you wouldn’t be sleeping in random back alleys. We could have a future together.” Eddie kissed him softly on each eyelid and then on the tip of his nose. “Don’t you want to live with me?”

There’s nothing I’d love more.
“Let me think about it. ’Kay?”

Lying on his side, Eddie propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at Fox. The brilliant blue sky of that afternoon had pinked and gilded with the declining sun. Birdsong filling his head, Fox closed his eyes. Eddie threw an arm over Fox’s chest and leaned down close until their heads were touching. For a long time as the sky dimmed, they lay together in the heavy warmth, not speaking but simply being.

Eddie, I lied to you. I don’t live on the street, and my dad’s not dead. He’s a psycho, and I have to kill him and make it look like an accident. I’m already in art school, but I can’t leave home because my dad will kill the twins or put them in an institution, and God knows what the fuck he’ll do to my mum who, by the way, spends her nights on the piss and her days sleeping it off. And when I have some spare time, I cut myself because, strangely, it makes the pain of everything else go away.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Eddie said quietly into Fox’s ear.

“I was just thinking we should probably go. The night’s coming in and with it my chance to make some dosh.” He sat up and grabbed his leggings and began stretching them to get them on without removing his boots.

Sitting on the grass, Eddie watched him. “Fox, I’m in love with you. Do you love me?”

“No heavy shit right now, Eddie. I can’t take it,” he said firmly.

“Yes, sorry, sorry,” Eddie mumbled. He stood up and pulled up his trousers, which had still been around his knees. He had bits of grass stuck to his buttocks. Fox smiled but did not offer to brush them off. “Do you want to get something to eat?”

Fox was hungry, but he couldn’t eat a thing. He was supposed to tell Eddie the truth before Nik did, and he had bottled it. In silence he pulled up his leggings and fastened on his kilt. Despite being fully dark now, London never grew black at night even in the parks. There was simply too much light pollution, so finding their way back to the gates was easy.

“We’ll climb up the railing beside the gates. You go first,” Fox said.

After a few false starts, with Fox on the ground giving him a boost, Eddie managed to climb the railings while Fox praised his efforts. With Eddie safely on the ground on the other side, Fox sent his backpack sailing over the railing and then climbed it with the agility of a monkey. It was when he was still hanging on to the railing on the park side ready to jump the final few feet that he saw William Baillie in full camo as usual striding along the path leading to the gates. His wild-looking eyes were intent on Fox.

Landing quietly on the path, Fox said, “Eddie, take off now.”

“Why? Aren’t you hungry?”

With every step Baillie was getting closer. It was like watching a car crash in the making. You could see it coming but knew you could do nothing to stop it. “Just fucking run!”

Following Fox’s gaze, Eddie said, “You’re worried about a queer basher? I’ll take care of him just like I did those ASBOs.”

“No. He’ll kill you.”

Baillie reached them and without speaking grabbed Fox by the back of his neck in a viselike grip and began to drag him across the grass. The road was some distance away. “Sir, please, I’ll come quietly. Let me walk so Eddie doesn’t get scared.”