Repeating History (History #1) (3 page)

“Doesn’t mean I’m going to lie to you,” Michael has dirty blond hair and dark blue eyes. He used to play hockey when we were in school. His shoulders are broad and he has a strong build. He’s smirking at me. Mike is probably the only one of my friends who is in a proper committed relationship. He’s been married for years. He’d married Sarah as soon as they’d graduated from university.

“Come on Mike,” Anna laughs, “we shouldn’t tease her.”

“You’re right,” he sighs, “Sarah wanted me to invite you round for dinner, Clara. She’s missed you.”

“I’ve missed her too,” I smile at him. Sarah his wife had been one of the popular girls in our year at school. She’d been friends with Andrew and his friends. It had been a bit of a surprise to us all when Mike had asked her out in our final year at school. The bigger surprise had been her saying yes. Mike had been attractive but he’d never been popular. Our group of friends were sort of second tier; neither cool or uncool. We just existed. So when Sarah had said yes to Michael it had given me hope that perhaps I had a chance with Andrew but that had been stupid of me. I’d never had a chance with Andrew. I was and always would be just the girl he teased, “and Amelia... I can’t wait to see Amelia. I bet she’s grown so much.”

“She has,” Michael is the image of a proud father, “she’s amazing. She dances around the room, twirling like a ballerina. Sarah wants her to have dance lessons. She sings too; like an angel. You’ve never heard anything quite so beautiful...”

“Tell Sarah I’d love to come for dinner,” I smile at him.

The four of us sit in the pub for hours reminiscing and enjoying each other’s company. It’s fantastic being back with them, just like old times, except now we are proper adults. Michael is finally a doctor and Elle is in Medical Research. One day she wants to cure cancer. Anna is an occupational therapist and I have just finished my first week at my dream job.

Chapter two: Andrew

My brother Jacob has dragged me out tonight. He’s in rant mode about the most recent escapades of our younger sister Maya. “She’s twenty one... what do you expect?” I ask, as I down the rest of my beer, “My round.” I jump to my feet and head towards the bar of the Kent Mockery. I check my phone as I wait for the barman to get our beers. She hasn’t replied. I hate it when she ignores me. I send her a quick message over facebook since I haven’t managed to get her number yet.

Back to ignoring me again?

I wait a split second to see if she replies but she doesn’t so I sigh, put my phone back in my pocket and pick up our beers. Jacob is typing into his phone when I get back to him. It’s probably work related so I give him a moment. He’s a lawyer and a workaholic. A moment or so later he puts his phone away, “sorry about that. A case I’m working on at the moment... it’s a bitch.”

“No worries,” I grin at him. I’ve always looked up to my big brother, not that I’d ever tell him that.

“As I was saying,” Jacob is back to his rant, “Maya needs to grow up. If I have to loan her the money to pay her rent one more time...” he doesn’t finish his sentence because he knows that whatever words he was going to end it with are meaningless. The threat was completely hollow.

“Jake,” I try to reason with him, “Where is she living?”

“I’ve no idea. She doesn’t tell me anything these days. I think she lives with a friend.”

“Have you spoken to mum about her?”

“Are you serious? Since when has mum had any control over any of us?” He’s laughing at the idea and if I’m honest with myself, he’s not wrong.

“She’s serious about this singing thing?” I ask.

“I don’t know how serious you can be about being a singer. I mean, she sings beautifully, don’t get me wrong. She’s amazing but can she seriously believe that she can make it into a career?”

I shake my head, “I don’t know.”

“You could offer her an internship or something at TRW.”

“She’d hate it.”

“She’s shown no interest at all in the law otherwise I’d invite her to join me at the firm. At least advertising is creative...”

“Creative? Why do you say that with such abhorrence?”

“I didn’t realise I had,” Jacob smirks at me. I know better though. Our mother has always been a creative sort of person. She draws and sculpts. I think that’s why Jake struggles with the idea of our sister trying to be a singer. She’s too similar to our bohemian mother. “So what girl has you checking your phone every few minutes?”

“I’m not checking my phone every two minutes,” I tell him defensively.

“Are too!”

“Whatever.”

“Come on then; who is she?” Jacob’s mood has changed. I can’t tell if it’s because we’re no longer talking about Maya or if it has something to do with whatever he was typing into his phone a few minutes ago. He’s smirking at me and it’s infuriating.

“Just someone I work with,” I concede because he’ll just keep digging if I don’t give him something.

“Right... just someone you work with.”

“Yes.”

“Not giving much away are you?” He has a teasing glint in his eye. I can’t tell him about Clara. He used to tease me about her back when we were in school. He is the reason I used to bully Clara so badly. I’d once told him about the pretty red haired girl in my class and he’d teased me about her for hours.

“Fuck off.”

“Now... now... no need to get all defensive.”

My phone buzzes and I’m tempted to ignore it so as not to give him anything more to mock me about, except the idea that Clara might have replied is far more enticing.

What could I possibly have to say to you?

Miss Delos, there are thousands of things you could say to me...

Like what?

I haven’t got a clue what to say to her. I glance up at my brother. He’s watching me with interest. He’ll have something to say about this. I send a quick message to Clara;

I’d settle for a date.

A date?

Yes, a date. You. Me. Dinner?

I’m not going to dinner with you.

Shame. What about a movie?

My brother smirks as he interrupts, “little brother it’s rude to ignore the people around you.”

“I’m not ignoring you...” I frown as I hesitantly put my phone away.

“What are we going to do about Maya?”

“I’ll offer her a job,” I sigh, “leave it with me.”

“Good,” he nods his head, “right. I’ve got to go.”

“Oh right. Now you’ve got what you want?” I laugh.

“Yes,” at least you can say my brother is honest, “there’s a girl waiting in my bed.” He’s still smirking, the bloody bastard. He gets to his feet, pulling on his suit jacket, “let me know how it goes with Maya.”

It’s not a request. It’s a demand and it grates. “Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.” I wave him off before turning back to my drink. I down the rest of my pint and check my phone.

I’m not interested. Not in dinner. Not in a movie.

I don’t want a moonlit walk along the beach.

Trust me when I say there is nothing you could offer me

that could possibly entice me to go on a date with you.

Her response leaves me cold. There’s never been another girl in my life that’s been able to make me bleed the way she does. I won’t let her see it though.

I won’t give up. I always get what I want in the end.

Let her think I’m just messing with her. It’s safer that way. “Hey,” I look up as a girl with blonde hair sits beside me, “why are you sitting here all alone?”

I check my phone once more for the reply that never seems to come, “my brother was here but he just left.” I give her my best smile. I look her up and down. She’s thin; almost too thin. Her eyes are a dark brown; almost like mud. She’s pretty sure and she’ll do for tonight, but she’s not Clara. It’s frustrating. I’d almost completely forgotten she existed before she came and started working at TRW. I’d finally gotten passed my teenage bloody obsession with her. I’d reached the point that when our mutual friends talked about her it had no effect on me at all... well almost.

I put my phone in my pocket. Clara and I... there is no Clara and I. There never was. It’s all history; she’s just a girl I went to school with. But right now, there’s a pretty enough girl flirting with me and I’m almost ignoring her and for what? For a girl that hates me? I shake my head. I need a clear head, “can I get you a drink?” I don’t need a clear head. I need to get drunk.

“Great... I’d love a mojito.” She’s smiling at me. She knows that this is all just a polite precursor to the moment when I fuck her. I get to my feet and get the girl her mojito and another beer for myself.

When I get back to my booth I introduce myself properly, “hi. I’m Andrew.” I almost offer her my hand to shake. Instead I present her with her drink.

“I’m Millie,” she smiles. She’s playing with her hair. She’s exactly the sort of girl I’ve always dated funnily enough. It’s a shame she’s not what I want now.

“Nice to meet you Millie,” I smile back at her politely.

“Do you want to dance?” she asks, nodding towards the dance floor.

“Sure,” I grin at her. My phone buzzes in my pocket and it takes all of my self control to ignore it.

I can’t sleep. The blonde... Millie... she’s asleep. I glance at her. She’s pretty cute when she’s asleep. I get out of bed, pulling my clothes back on. This is stupid. There’s no point lying in bed, if I can’t sleep. I find my phone in my jacket pocket. I smile when I see that Clara has replied. Even though the time stamp says she’d sent her message hours ago, it makes my heart race.

You’ve never been one for giving up. Wouldn’t expect you to start now.

I know I should leave it until tomorrow or something but I can’t resist. She’s probably asleep. She’d sent her message at 23:34pm and it is now almost 2:00am.

Have you got a boyfriend Clara?

I don’t really know where the question came from. She surprises me by replying almost immediately.

That’s none of your business.

I’m surprised you are awake.

Why?

I don’t know... just didn’t picture you as the awake at 2am sort.

I just got home.

From where?

I told you I went to the pub with my friends.

You were at the pub with your friends until 2am?

Yes. Why is that so hard for you to believe?

Mike is married with kids.

And?

Everyone knows that once you’re married the late nights end.

Is that what you think?

Do you think I’m wrong?

Depends on what the couple want, I guess.

What do you want?

What do you mean?

Are you the stay in and snuggle type or the go out and party type?

I don’t think I fit into either category.

Why?

What’s with all the questions?

Just getting to know you better.

Her reply is slower this time and I find myself tapping my foot. I’m in the kitchen. I’ve somehow migrated here. I pull a glass out of the cupboard and pour myself a glass of water.

Sometimes I like to stay in and sometimes I like to go out. Both work.

She has a boyfriend. The realisation leaves me with a sinking sensation in my gut.

What about your boyfriend? Does that work for him?

It’s stupid but I need to be certain.

I don’t have a boyfriend. I just moved back to town.

The sight of her reply is like a shot of adrenalin to my heart.

Why did you come back?

She keeps me waiting for her reply. I’m sat at the breakfast bar with my phone on the counter in front of me and I’m anxious for her response.

I found my boyfriend in my bed with our boss.

Shit. I haven’t got a clue what to say to her. She doesn’t give me a chance to think of a reply either before she’s messaging me again.

Use that as ammunition against me and I’ll tell everyone at work you have crabs.

Her threat makes me laugh because I can’t imagine her following through with it. She’s nicer than me. Even though I’d teased her for years, she’d never once been unkind to me during school.

I won’t. I promise.

Forgive me if I don’t trust you.

It’s okay. You will. Eventually.

Doubt it.

You worked with your ex? You said ‘our’ boss...

Yeah.

That must have sucked.

Yeah. Why are you still up?

Been out with my brother.

I don’t want her to know about Millie. I don’t know why the idea of her knowing about my one night stand is so unwelcoming.

Jacob?

You remember my brother’s name?

It’s a surprise. I secretly hope that she remembers his name because she used to have a crush on me in school or something.

He was cute.

My brother was cute?

That was not the answer I wanted.

Yeah... he was three years above us right?

Yeah.

I heard he was a lawyer now... how is your little sister? Maya right?

You remember my sister’s name too? Not going to tell me she was cute too are you?

Er no... you just used to talk about her a lot.

I didn’t realise you ever listened though.

Yeah... well not much. Just occasionally. When you weren’t being a complete bastard.

So not often then.

I consider offering her an apology but I don’t know what I’d say. Nothing I say now can change the way I’d treated her as a kid.

I’ve missed having someone to tease.

I’m sure you’ve found plenty of victims.

Victim? You loved it really.

How do you work that out?

I don’t know what to say to her. She’s the only girl that’s ever made me feel awkward and uncertain of myself.

So you still don’t want to go on a date?

No.

Even though it’s Christmas in a few days?

What does that have to do with it?

I’d be willing to accept a date as my gift.

Who says I’m getting you a gift?

Just hoping is all.

I’ll see you Monday.

Sure thing Princess... x

Fuck – you know this conversation doesn’t make us friends right?

Friends? No, we’re not friends. Perhaps FWB?

You fuckwit! We are not friends with benefits!