Resenting the Hero (31 page)

“Aye. She's a Source.”

“A Source and a Shield in one family? That's unusual.” I wondered why Aiden had never spoken of her. It seemed odd that he hadn't, and that he had such sympathy for Shields but none at all for Sources.

More unusual was that she had a daughter. It wasn't impossible for working Sources and Shields to have children, especially if they didn't work on particularly active sites. Still, channeling and Shielding was hard on the body, and it made siring and conceiving children difficult.

“It's rare, I guess,” Ryan said. “She's the oldest. Mother realized what she was when she was still quite young and sent her to the academy. I remember her well. I don't think Piers and Aiden do, though.”

I asked, “What does she think of Creol's cause, here?”

His expression tightened, and he suddenly became engrossed in carving one more small detail into the bird's wing. “She doesn't,” he said in a flat tone. “Sympathetic to my case, and to the others', but doesn't feel it warrants changing the whole system. Do more harm than good, she says, for the sake of what are really just exceptions to the rule.”

I gestured at the carving. “But you don't resent her for thinking that way.”

“Course not. Family. She can't help how she thinks. All those ideas pounded into her head from the time she was a wee thing.” He blew some wood dust off the carving. “But she'll learn.”

There was something about that last statement which I found just a bit chilling.

“'Sides, she has the good side of things, being a Source. Hard to see the evil of a system that's treated you well all your life. Harder still to stand up to it, once you have seen it.”

“Unlike Creol?” That kind of slipped out. I hadn't planned on mentioning Creol in any context. But I wanted to hear of him from others who had met him.

Ryan grunted. “Man's no saint. System hasn't been so good to him, has it? He's a Source but he's got no Shield to master. And whether the Triple S started all those rumors or not, they've made it clear they've got no use for him. No reason why he can't be assigned to a site, as a backup if nothing else, but he's not bonded so they think he's useless.” He looked me right in the eye. “It's the bonding, I figure, that's the real problem.”

Creol figured the same, but I wasn't supposed to know that. I just cocked my head and my eyebrow and hoped I looked interested. “I have no cause for complaint.”

“Hope you won't have any in the future.”

“Can't convict a man before he's even committed a crime.”

“But you can protect yourself in the face of certain tendencies.”

“Of which Karish has so far shown none.”

He chuckled. “Stubborn.”

When threatened with conversion, damned right. Too many people had tried to tell me how to feel about Karish. I wished they'd just leave me alone and let me make up my own mind.

The front door rattled, and a moment later Aiden was walking into the kitchen, Creol on his heels. I tried not to stare. When had those two met up?

Aiden smiled at me and snatched up the kettle. “Did you learn anything?” he asked, filling the kettle at the pump.

I wondered why Ryan hadn't asked me that. I wondered why Ryan wasn't reacting to Creol entering the residence like it was familiar to him. Hadn't I been told that Creol never stayed at the residence? “Afraid not.”

“Where did you look?”

I didn't see any real reason to keep my efforts a secret from those in the room, not even Creol. He knew why I was there. I described my failures. Maybe someone would have some useful hints.

Ryan seemed particularly unimpressed. “I hope you didn't offend anyone,” he said. “People here treat us well, but they don't have to. They know we're Triple S exiles. We can't be harassing them.”

“I was perfectly polite,” I said coolly. “It was necessary. I need to find out if Karish is even in the city. If he isn't”—as I was beginning to suspect, damn me for wasting so much time on nothing—“I need to learn that as soon as possible, so I can move on.”

“Oh,” said Ryan. “Then you're not looking to stay here long?”

“No.” Ryan seemed, well, not quite annoyed by my answer, but it was clear he didn't like it. “Why?”

“Ah. I was just wondering what you thought about the other.” He gestured at Creol, who hadn't taken a seat at the table but was leaning back against the counter, watching us. I guessed Ryan was referring to his cause.

“I'm not prepared to get involved with that right now,” I said. Ryan nodded stoically. Had he protested or argued, I would have refused to defend my decision. As he did not, I felt compelled to explain myself. “I'm sorry, Ryan, but I've got to find Karish and patch up whatever needs patching. Then we have to go to Flown Raven and settle his title situation. Then we have to figure out what killed all the other Pairs in High Scape. I just can't handle another project right now.”

Aiden glared at me. “How can you have heard all the Shields here and not want to do anything?” he demanded.

Annoyed by an attack from that corner, I snapped back, “Because I'm an apathetic, selfish bitch.”

“Now, now,” Ryan said. “He didn't mean to imply that.”

“Aye, he did.” I hoped I wasn't glowering at the idiot because that would be just too unprofessional. “Listen up, Kelly. When Karish is the Duke of Westsea he'll be able to take the Shields' concerns straight to the Empress's ear.”

If anything, Aiden became even more incensed. “You're standing back to rely on Karish? When the hell did that start happening?”

“I've always been practical, Aiden. And the cold, hard truth is that the Triple S council will listen a whole lot faster to a peer of the realm than a band of disaffected Shields sent into exile. I find Karish, he gets his title, you have a strong ally in the Empress's court.”

Aiden fumed. My words made perfect sense, but he wouldn't be able to understand until his blood cooled and his brain started working again. I left him to it.

Creol was looking thoughtful. “Do you really think Karish would support us?” he asked me.

“I'm not sure,” I admitted, “but I think so.”

“I don't,” he said bluntly.

“Oh?”

“I've known Karish much longer than you have, Dunleavy. We didn't do a lot of training together, but I was at the academy the day he arrived, and I was there until he was sent out for field training. Everyone knew he was the second son of the Duke of Westsea, and everyone was aware of every move he made.” That would have driven me crazy, everyone watching me all the time. “I don't claim to know him inside out, and I won't say he's a cruel person, but he's never struck me as being a selfless person, either. In fact, he appeared to me to be self-absorbed and thoughtless. I remember when he first came, he expected to be served his meals in his room.” Creol shrugged. “He just seems the sort who doles out small kindnesses if they take no real effort but is otherwise a fairly selfish individual. Do you really think someone like that would go out of his way to help a group of strangers by changing a system that has always treated him well? I don't.”

I wanted to grind my teeth. I wanted to get away from everyone and think for a week. Because I didn't know. A quick glance at the past revealed no instances of Karish ever helping anyone when it wasn't related to the job. He had received many kindnesses, and he hadn't always seemed to appreciate them, but I couldn't recall him doing anything for anyone else.

And then I could. I looked at Aiden. I saw him writhing in pain on the dancing ground. I saw Karish kneeling beside him and soothing away his pain. I saw Karish in the hospital, risking his mind to bring back Ogawa and Tenneson in a stunt that he didn't know would work and if discovered could subject him to the rigorous testing he seemed to fear.

I looked at Creol. “I do,” I said.

He smiled. “Your loyalty does you credit.”

“And here you've come looking for him instead of sitting back and letting others do the work. Commendable. Not the sort of thing one expects to find in a Shield.”

Was that just me or did everyone feel the sudden tension dancing about the air?

“Few Sources deserve such devotion,” Ryan said in a cold voice.

Creol nodded. “Too true.”

I picked up a discarded chunk of wood off the table. I didn't think that simple, mild answer satisfied Ryan. I thought he wanted an argument, felt Creol's first comment had earned one, but the Source's admission robbed him of the right. He worked on swallowing his anger.

The Kelly boys weren't having a good evening.

Creol seemed oblivious of causing any offense. “Tell me about yourself, Dunleavy,” he invited. “I know little beyond your reputation.”

I didn't have a reputation. What was with all this intense interest in me? It was unnatural and irritating. And I wasn't going to put up with it, not after the grilling I'd gotten the day before. So I smiled at Ryan. “I'd rather hear about Middle Reach,” I said. “I'm ashamed to admit that I know nothing about it, and I'm afraid I've never thought much about it. I'm sure it's more than an exile for Pairs who are out of favor.”

“Shouldn't be,” Ryan answered curtly. “Place is a hole.” Which was in direct contradiction to what he had told me earlier, but I supposed he was in no mood to talk.

The comment seemed to kill any possibility of conversation. I was tired, Ryan was ticked, I could tell by the tightening around Aiden's mouth that he was in some pain, and Creol was being mysterious. I realized I was hungry.

I was relieved when Creol excused himself and left, but in a way I was glad he'd come. His visit had been aimless beyond a little probing in the interest of his cause, which was to be expected. I still didn't think he was entirely normal, but that in itself was no crime. Only made him interesting. And it was becoming clear that he'd had nothing to do with Karish's abduction. He was neither interested nor disinterested enough to be the culprit. That left me with no culprit at all, which was a problem.

I knew I was a fool. If Karish was in Middle Reach, his captor no doubt knew I was there, and why I was there. He was probably watching my efforts and laughing himself sick. Fair enough. As long as he felt I was harmless, he wouldn't hurt Karish or move him. I hoped. So I would continue to ask around and pray to stumble onto something significant and wonder why Karish hadn't managed to seduce his guards into releasing him.

I didn't know what the hell I was doing, or how to proceed. I was tired of thinking. I was not the loyal, faithful servant Creol had pegged me. I would have been delighted if someone had shown up to take it all out my hands.

I heard the door at the front entrance fling open. “Dunleavy!” Creol's voice called out urgently. “Please, come quick! I need you!”

Chairs crashed to the floor as all three of us jumped to our feet. We ran through the living room out to the door. I noticed a pool of water on the floor.

Creol stood just outside, his eyes wide. “Will you Shield me?”

Water was rising everywhere. A flood. I didn't wonder how it had progressed so far or why the assigned Pairs weren't doing anything about it. I didn't wonder why Creol hadn't asked Ryan, with whom he was more familiar, to Shield him. I only saw the makings of a disaster, and knew I could do something about it. I nodded. “Aye. When you're ready.”

He grinned at me with relief. And then it began.

As with Tenneson, it was more difficult than it should have been. I couldn't quite reach into Creol as I could into Karish. The internal shifts felt a little muffled to me, like trying to handle cutlery while wearing heavy gloves. But I could feel them, and I could Shield him.

I felt the raw power flow though him. The directions of the power were strange. It felt like it was being pulled in, not that it was rushing through him. And the odd sense of familiarity I felt in shielding him puzzled me. But none of that mattered. What mattered was that I was doing what I was meant to be doing.

And if I weren't chained to a Source who was always getting himself attacked and kidnapped and promoted into the peerage, I could be doing it a lot more often.

It was over quickly. Not a lot of force involved, and the water sank easily into the ground. Not so easy to get rid of the water that had gotten inside Ryan's house. That would require ordinary mopping.

Creol held out a hand. “Excellent work.” We shook. “Thank you.” He walked off, whistling, and I breathed in the cool, fresh air. It was a beautiful evening.

I turned back into the house, closing the door behind me. Ryan had already begun to clean up the water. That's when I realized Creol should have asked him to Shield. Ryan would have done a better job, having known and observed Creol much longer. But perhaps it was a matter of some kind of protocol.

It wasn't until later that night, when we had all settled down to sleep, that a more interesting question came to me. I realized that other than Creol, I hadn't seen a single Source in Middle Reach. Where were they?

Chapter Twenty-two

“Karish.”

Saying the name aloud woke me.

I groaned and covered my face with a nice cool pillow. I was not going to take up the habit of dreaming about Karish. I was not. That way led to obsession and madness and other disagreeable mental states. It was not going to happen.

Worse than the mental chaos were the physical repercussions. Aching and restless in a familiar manner that I certainly didn't want to associate with Karish. I was sweating, and my breathing was something less than steady. Revolting.