Resilience (2 page)

Adam snorted as he lifted a particularly heavy box. He also needed to get the fuck over himself. He was attractive, he supposed, but he wasn’t all that and a bag of chips too. He was just a guy, nothing standout-ish about him. It wasn’t like he was really tall and built or short and cuddly. He wasn’t a troll, but he wasn’t going to be on the cover of GQ in this lifetime, either.

He sure didn’t have freckles that looked like cinnamon sprinkles, or big bright eyes fringed in thick lashes, or—

“Stop it!” Adam would have stomped his foot just to jar himself if he hadn’t been

lugging the box. As it was, he caught his heel on the last porch step and just kept from face-planting. Or being crushed by the box. What the hell had he packed in there anyway?

Adam made it through the front door then set the box on the floor. He pushed it into what would eventually be his office—he thought, he hadn’t quite figured it out yet—and was going to head back outside for more when something about the box caused him to pause. He really didn’t remember packing that damn thing into the vehicle. And there was no tape holding it shut, just the flaps folded under one another. Adam bent down and plucked at one, pulling it back just enough to get a peek at the contents.

“I didn’t…” Well, no, he definitely didn’t pack up that particular box. His best friend, Jameson, had helped. Of course, Jameson’s idea of helping looked like it took batteries. And a fuckload of lube. “No wonder the box was so heavy.” Adam had a feeling the entire box was full of helpful…things.

“Jameson, you perv.” There weren’t many people Adam was going to miss, but

Jameson had been his best friend forever, just about. If he hadn’t found his Mr Right and decided to move to Amsterdam, Adam might not have left, too. But it seemed fitting, the two of them leaving Dallas at the same time, even on the same day.

It also made Adam’s chest ache. He felt utterly alone. At least before, he’d had Jameson to talk to. Well, not as much once Steve had come along, but still. More than it’d be with Jameson in Amsterdam. They’d email, but it wouldn’t be the same.

Adam plopped down on his butt, overcome for a moment with a melancholy that, if he

wasn’t careful, could turn into a mild bout of depression. It was something he had to watch out for. He opened the rest of the flaps and grinned when he saw the envelope in amongst all the sex toys—and there were things in there even he had never seen, which was saying something. He plucked out the envelope then tapped it in his hand, debating for a moment before opening it and unfolding the plain white paper. Jameson’s sloppy scrawl brought a watery grin to Adam’s face. He wondered how Jameson was doing with the man he’d fallen head over heels for, Luuk Visser. The two had moved to Europe when Adam moved to

Shasta.

There wasn’t much to the letter; it was just a brief congratulations on purchasing the veterinary clinic and Jameson’s wishes for him to be happy. Adam tucked the letter back into the envelope then folded it in half and put it in his pocket. He was going to miss Jameson a lot. Maybe, if he was lucky, he’d make a friend or two here. No one would ever take Jameson’s place, though.

Adam spared the box’s contents a last look before he got up. There were some things in there, like the padded cuffs and a soft, silky blindfold, he’d like to see against someone’s fair, freckled skin. He’d bet Deputy Benson’s blush would be a full-body one.

“That’d be sexy as hell,” Adam muttered. And great, now he had a major hard-on,

which was going to make the rest of the unloading lots of fun. Oh well, at least he had some new toys to help take care of that problem later—although he thought his imagination and the memory of a pair of wide green eyes would be all he needed to do the job just fine.

Todd was so shaken up by the brief meeting that he could hardly drive for his

trembling hands. And arms, and every other part of himself, he thought, except his dick.

That particular piece of him was trying to stiffen up even though Todd was feeling

borderline panicked.

What was he going to do? Adam Soames, gay or straight, was going to make Todd’s

cock hard, even, apparently, if Todd was busy embarrassing the crap out of himself by stuttering like an idiot. Try as he might, stuttering was something his dad hadn’t been able to beat out of him. Maybe if he’d been allowed to take speech therapy, but since his dad equated that to special education…

Thinking about his hateful father put Todd’s desire right out. It also stirred the embers of anger and resentment that were never far from the surface of Todd’s emotions. Sometimes he thought he would blow up from all the pain he carried around inside, all the fury. Other times, he thought if— Todd shook his head. No use thinking that way, not at all. He needed to forget about the reaction he’d had to Adam Soames, and not freak out over the stuttering. It was just that he hadn’t done it in so long—to have it happen now undermined his confidence in a major way. And he knew it, but he wasn’t sure how to rectify the situation.

Rolling around in self-pity sure wasn’t going to help, but—Todd smiled—he knew

something that might.

Fifteen minutes later, he pulled into Gabe’s driveway. He called in his lunch break then shut the cruiser off and got out. A couple of deep breaths and he already felt better than he had in a while. Something about visiting his friend always loosened that weird knot in Todd’s chest. Knowing he could just pop in anytime helped, too. It was nice to feel wanted, or at least something more than just tolerated.

Todd walked up to the porch, then tried to keep his steps light. If he could pull it off, he was going to sneak in and surprise Gabe. It’d probably result in Todd’s eardrums bleeding from Gabe’s shriek, but they’d both laugh about it afterwards.

Tiptoeing in cowboy boots sucked, but Todd did it. He got to the door. The screen

wasn’t open but the wooden door was, as usual. Todd raised his hand to knock—and about had a heart attack when Gabe jumped out from behind the open door and shouted “Boo!”

“Jesus!” Todd barely kept from screeching it, or maybe he didn’t, hard to tell with his pulse pounding in his ears. He stumbled back and caught himself on the porch rail as he gawped at Gabe…the laughing bastard!

Gabe’s eyes were practically glowing as he bent and grabbed his stomach. “Ohmigod,

you should see your face!”

Todd blinked then scowled and shut his mouth. He saw his face every day when he

shaved. He knew exactly how goofy he could look contorting his features around. “Ha ha.”

Then Todd’s pique morphed into amusement at his own expense and he laughed. “I was

gonna scare you.”

Gabe stood up and leaned against the doorframe. He nudged the screen door open with

his foot. “Yeah, but you about made me piss myself sneaking up on me out back last week.

You want lunch?”

Todd shrugged. He didn’t care if he ate or not, he just wanted the warm companionship. Wanted, for an hour, to not feel like such a loser.

Gabe straightened up and moved to hold the screen door open with his hand. “Well,

come on then. I’m not gonna stand here all day holding the damn door open. I do have websites to design and all that fun shit.”

Todd tried not to blush. He’d seen some of the websites Gabe had designed. One in

particular had stirred up all kinds of fantasies. Rick’s Rockin’ Rods, that was it. Todd had only caught a glimpse of some of the things on there, but it’d been enough to make his cock so hard his eyes had crossed. He’d had to beat off in Gabe’s bathroom. Fortunately it hadn’t taken long at all, the fear of discovery merging with a weird excitement and a flood of horniness that’d brought Todd to his peak in a few short minutes.

“Hey.” Todd stopped right inside the doorway. The screen door popped him on the

backside but it didn’t hurt and he didn’t notice it much because Gabe caught his arm. Gabe looked at him in a way that Todd knew too well, that mix of pity or sympathy, it was the same thing to him, and a dose of caring that was more precious to Todd than his own pride.

Gabe narrowed his eyes and reached up with his other hand to touch Todd’s cheek.

Before he could think better of it, Todd sucked in a sharp breath and turned his head. He’d forgotten about his father slapping him earlier. Todd wondered if Adam had seen the bruise that must have been there. Either that, or Gabe was psychic.

“He did this?” Gabe growled, then he rolled his eyes. “Of course he did, unless your mother did it. Fucking assholes, both of them!” Gabe stroked over his cheek once more then stepped away and glared at Todd. “One of these days I am going to lose my shit all over your father! Guh!” He threw his hands up in the air and stomped down the hall, still bitching. “And your mother? Oh. My. God. Someone needs to hold her down and give her an IV of Midol! Or Prozac. Something, she’s just… She’s just mean! If my grandma were still alive, she’d go smack some sense into your mom and set your dad straight, let me tell you!”

Todd almost smiled at that. He liked it when Gabe got all protective of him. Made him feel like there was at least one person in the world who cared. Sometimes he thought it’d have been nice if he and Gabe were attracted to each other, but then he shook the idea away.

Gabe was too much like a brother to him. He listened as Gabe kept ranting, or tried to listen, but his mind kept drifting off as he wondered about Adam Soames. Why would a young, attractive man want to move to a small armpit of a town? Was he running from bad memories or…or was he a shitty vet who couldn’t do any better than a town like Shasta?

“Earth to Todd.”

Todd blinked when Gabe snapped his fingers in front of Todd’s face. “What?”

Gabe huffed and set a plate of Pop-Tarts in front of him. “There. Lunch. You weren’t listening to a word I said.” Gabe gave him a look that brooked no argument, not that Todd was going to deny the accusation.

“Sorry.” Todd picked up a Pop-Tart, warm and toasty. He took a bite and moaned a

little, he couldn’t help it. Gabe couldn’t have been too pissed off about Todd’s lack of attention, otherwise Todd would have got cold Pop-Tarts. And he sure wouldn’t have got cherry, his favourite. Todd loved the childish treats, unhealthy as they were. He hadn’t been allowed anything like them growing up, and he refused to buy them now, or else he’d eat nothing else and weigh a ton in no time.

Gabe sat down across from him and took a bite of his own Pop-Tart. “S’okay. I was just talking about the puppies. I really wish you could take one.”

Todd swallowed and chased the gooey sweet down with cold milk before replying.

“You know I can’t have pets in the apartment. Probably a good thing or I’d have a whole herd of dogs and cats.”

Gabe chuckled and finished off his lunch in two big bites. He took Todd’s plate when he was done then rinsed it while Todd found the dish towel. “So, anything interesting going on in town?”

Todd almost dropped the glass he was drying. It was the same question Gabe

frequently asked him, but this time it seemed almost prying. Me and my good friend, paranoia.

“Nah.” Todd set the glass in the cabinet, careful to keep his back to Gabe while he continued.

“Met the new vet, Adam Soames. Sheriff wanted me to go check him out. Guess he’s afraid Soames might take over the world or something.”

“New vet?” Gabe nudged Todd’s back. “Why didn’t I know we were getting a new vet? Maybe he’ll be one I can actually use. My gay cooties scared Doc Shithead too much.”

Todd risked a peek over his shoulder. Gabe was watching him, sure enough. Todd sighed and turned around. “Soames seems nice, I guess. I didn’t really talk to him. Just checked to make sure he wasn’t the Antichrist or whatever.”

Gabe arched a brow. “They’ve got makeup that would have covered the Mark of the

Beast on his forehead. You have to be more thorough when checking those things out.”

Todd almost cringed, but not quite. His father would have struck him and Gabe both for such jokes. But he was past that. He hoped. “Well, maybe you should check him out then, since you know so much more about all that than this preacher’s son does.”

“Is he cute?” Gabe waggled his eyebrows and it was only then Todd realised he might

have screwed up royally, because if Adam was gay, and he saw Gabe? Met Gabe? Well, that’d solve the problem of Todd’s rapidly growing attraction, kind of. It wouldn’t kill it but he’d sure never act on it then.

I’m not gonna act on it now! He absolutely wasn’t! “I dunno.” He shrugged and knew if he wasn’t careful he was going to be beet red. “Can we go outside? I want to play with the puppies for a bit before I have to get back to work.”

“Diverting, much?” Gabe muttered. Todd chose to ignore that. He suspected Gabe

suspected… Todd took a page from Gabe’s book and rolled his eyes. If Gabe didn’t know Todd was gay, he had to at least wonder. But Gabe hadn’t asked and Todd hadn’t told, so…

So it was just what it was. “And I’m taking that as a yes. If he was ass-ugly, you woulda said.”

There wasn’t any sense in denying it. “Yeah.” Then the yips of the puppies and the

bouncing, happy dogs, always so glad to see him, distracted Todd from everything else. It wasn’t until he was driving off that he went back to worrying about whether or not Adam was gay, and what would happen when Gabe and Adam met.

It’d been a week since Adam had seen the cute deputy, and he was kind of relieved. It hadn’t taken but a couple of days to realise Shasta wasn’t an LGBTQ-friendly town. Which, considering he’d moved here with the idea of becoming a pathetic old hermit with only his pets for companionship… Well, yeah, seemed things were going to work out just like he’d planned.

At least he’d learn to get his straight act down quick. That sheriff was a creepy, bigoted fucker who wore hatred like a badge. Probably wore it with more pride than his actual sheriff’s badge. He was without a doubt the epitome of every jerk who’d bullied and beaten Adam in school, and Adam had hated him on the spot. He didn’t feel bad about it since he knew it was mutual.