Resilient (13 page)

Mom is taking longer than I expected. The time flies by and I soon realize how long it’s been. I look at Adam cautiously and say, “I’m sorry you had to babysit.  It’s really nice of you. Are you sure you don’t have to be anywhere?”

“I don’t have to be at work ’til later. I volunteer at the hospital.”

Volunteer at the hospital? I didn’t expect that of him. “So there is a good Adam underneath it all.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, yet,” he says, still smiling. “Did you know we have the same birthday?”

“Are you serious? How do you know that?”

“I saw your Facebook page.”

“Were you stalking me?” I ask, amused.

“It’s not private, but, hey, if you feel violated, I’ll let you look at mine.”

He leans closer and turns my computer around to face him. I watch him as he types on the keyboard. His eyes are fixed on the screen, waiting for the page to download; my hand inches closer to him as if it has a mind of its own.

No—his proximity is messing with me. I feel like I should put some distance between us, but it’s difficult to move with this cast.  As soon as I start shifting around on the bed, Adam springs up. 

“Here, let me help you!” He stands across from me to hold my arms and pulls me to a standing position, but I’m not paying enough attention, and my body weight falls on my bad leg. I go tumbling forward, and Adam tries to hold me, but he loses his balance and we both drop to the floor. 

He props himself up on his side and looks at me, laughing, and I can’t help but laugh, too. 

“Are you okay?” His eyes suddenly go wide. “You hurt yourself!” He reaches for my face and gently touches my left eyebrow. “It’s bleeding.” 

“I think it was your watch or something.” I reach for the cut, too, but find his hand instead. He looks at me and fixes his eyes on mine.

“I’m sorry.” He moves his hand lower, caressing my cheek. My heart starts pounding as his face leans closer to mine. He hovers, letting his gaze travel to my lips. Our bodies are so close, and I reach for his face.

My bedroom door flies open, and I freeze.

“Livia!” Ian walks in the room. Adam jumps to his feet. He looks at Ian and then at me, and sticks out a hand to help me up. 

Ian looks confused. “What is going on? You’re bleeding!” 

“I fell trying to get out of the bed.” 

“Mom is looking for you.”

I wave him away. “Tell her I’m in my room.”

Ian nods and leaves. I look at Adam and he’s staring at the door. “I better go,” he sighs. 

“I’ll see you later.” I sit back on my bed. Adam watches, but this time he doesn’t offer to help. His mind is someplace else. He turns to leave, stopping at the door, and glancing back once. I meet his eyes and he holds my gaze for a moment before stepping out without another word.

*                            *                              *

Dad comes home early from work and lets me watch as he and Alo take Sicilian into the round pen. Alo is a Native American of Chinook blood. He looks like he’s in his mid-thirties—he’s tall, bulky and a just plain nice person. As soon as I met him, I could feel almost nothing besides his love for Sicilian and the others. He said that he always grows attached to the horses he trains. They are just like children to him and Aphrodite is no different. He’ll be coming here this whole week to train her exclusively.

As I walk back into the house, I marvel at the condition of my leg. The pain is completely gone, just like it never happened, and my suspicions are starting to converge under the only possible explanation.

“Mom?” I search around as those thoughts make me apprehensive. She’s sitting in the living room, reading a Home and Garden magazine. She raises her eyebrows in a questioning look when I come in. “Is there any chance that I didn’t break my leg—a medical mistake, perhaps?” 

She frowns. “No.” She lingers on the word. “I saw the X ray myself, why?”

I ease myself onto the arm of the couch. “If there was no mistake, then there’s nothing to explain why it’s completely healed.”

“Well I’m glad you’re feeling better, but don’t be silly!” 

I shake my head. “Mom, the fracture is gone. We can take the cast off and you’ll see.”

“Take the cast off?” Dad walks into the house, dusting off his hands. “What are you talking about, Livia?”

“My leg healed itself and I want the cast off so I can see it for myself.”

Mom and Dad exchange looks. “I don’t think that would be a wise decision,” Dad says. I can feel him understanding me, and also pushing that understanding away.

“I’m serious Dad, I just have this feeling that—” I trail off. “I need to know.”

Dad’s already speaking. “No is my final answer!” 

His phone rings. He walks away and I stomp to my room, ignoring my mother behind me.

I finished with my shift at the hospital about an hour ago but, before I left, I checked into the medical records and snuck out a copy of mine. I just need to know if there was any truth to what that Stevens guy said. Dad expects me to take his word and just leave it be, but my instincts tell me there is more to it. So, I’ve been sitting in the Jeep going through my medical records. There isn’t much to them, because I haven’t had any major medical issues. I don’t even remember ever getting sick; maybe a cold here and there, but nothing serious.

I read the first couple pages—it’s written that I was born suffering from infant respiratory distress syndrome. I don’t really understand what RDS is, but I assume it’s life threatening. My health improved remarkably in a period of twenty-four hours after my birth, leaving no signs of the disease. Two pages later, it says, “Adam Cooper, five days old, shows no sign of RDS, recommendation to follow up only at regular checkups”. 

I sigh as I realize that I’ll have to do much more digging to find anything of value in all of this.

My phone rings and, in the middle of this chaos in my head, I still smile when I see who’s calling. “Livia?” 

“Hey, are you still in the hospital?”

“About to leave, why?”

“Can you come over?”

Something in her voice makes me put the Jeep into gear and drive as fast as I can. I pull into her driveway minutes later, and she’s already standing outside. Before I can get out, she’s opening the door and climbing into the passenger seat. I can’t help but stare at her sudden ability to walk and climb up into my Jeep without help, but I’m mostly staring because her beauty stuns me. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail, leaving her neck exposed. She has such smooth and flawless skin, and her turquoise eyes are intense and fixed on mine. Her eyelids are puffy, as if she has been crying. I fight the urge to pull her into my arms and tell her that everything will be okay.

“I’m sorry to bother you but—”

“You’re not bothering me.” I say too eagerly. She doesn’t need to apologize. In fact, I’m glad she called. It takes my mind off things that I don’t want to think about. “Where to?” 

“I don’t know where to, exactly.” She gazes back at her house. “Anywhere.”

I drive to my house. I know Dad is working late today and Mom left to visit Grandma after lunch, taking Amanda and Caleb with her; she won’t be home until tomorrow. Kevin should be the only one at home right now. I park the Jeep and, this time, Livia waits for me to help her down. We walk around to the back of the house and I open my bedroom door from the patio. Livia ambles into my room and I see her looking around; I’m glad the room is clean. “Nice and big,” she says, sitting on the couch. “Do you always have friends over? It looks like a bachelor pad.”

“Kyle comes over a lot to play video games, but that’s it.” I open the fridge and grab a bottle of Gatorade. “Do you want anything to drink?” 

“Water would be good, thanks.”

I watch as her lips linger on the bottle as she drinks. She catches me staring, but I don’t move my eyes away. I grin at her instead and she hides a smile. 

I wish we could pick up from where we left off the last time we were alone in her room. I care about what she thinks and what she thinks of me, and I want to do this right. I don’t want to make the wrong move.

“You must be wondering why my leg isn’t bothering me anymore,” she says. 

No, right now I’m wondering how to get you to want me as much as I want you. “Yeah, that did cross my mind.” 

“All I know is that it doesn’t hurt anymore and I feel like it’s completely healed.”

“But it can’t be. It shouldn’t be better for a while—right?”

“Maybe they made a mistake. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as they thought.”

“Maybe.” 

She gets up and walks around the room, looking at every picture I have on the walls. Mom always liked to frame our portraits and hang them all over the house. Every year, she would make us pose for a professional photographer that would charge her a fortune. It was endearing, and a little insane. 

“Is this you?” Livia asks. I don’t need to look to know which one she’s talking about. It’s a picture of me, naked, on the lake when I was three. You can only see my behind. I keep hiding it away but it somehow manages to find its way back onto the shelf. 

“Cute, huh?” I say with as much dignity as I can, moving close to her and laying the picture face-down on the bookshelf.

“Very!” She laughs and sits at the end of my bed, lifting her cast to look at it. 

“Are you going to take it off?” I ask, sitting next to her.

“I would like to, but my dad…” She pauses and turns to look at me, and our faces are so close I can feel her exhaling. 

“I can take it off if you want, in case your parents won’t. It’s easy.” 

She narrows her eyes at me and opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. Her eyes are digging into mine and I look away. It’s all I can do to restrain myself from kissing her, but I still feel her eyes on me and I chuckle, because I don’t know what else to do. I’ve never felt so powerless around a girl before. It’s like she is asking for me to make a move and I can’t find the courage to take the risk.

“What?” she asks, and when I say nothing she adds, “You don’t really want me here, do you?”

I turn to stare at her. “Why would you say that?” 

“Your body stiffens every time I’m around. It’s like you’re not comfortable around me.” 

I stare at her, puzzled. How could she be so off, so far away from the truth? “It’s not because I’m uncomfortable around you.”

“Then what is it?”

I move my gaze to her lips, where it lingers. She raises her eyebrows, waiting for my answer. I lean closer to her and she doesn’t move away. I want to get up and walk away from her, I want to stop myself before she does it herself, I want to regain control before it’s too late… But I can’t seem to find a will stronger than the attraction I feel—as if she’s a magnetic force that I can’t run away from, I lay my lips on hers.

I kiss her softly and slowly, at first. I don’t want to scare her away, but her lips are so inviting and so tender that they make me want more, make me go deeper. When my lips part and our tongues touch, goosebumps spread along my skin. Before I know it, I’m on my feet, facing her and running my hands through her hair, down to her neck, over her back, and I pull our bodies closer. Her hands explore my back, move to my chest, and rest on my arms where she tightens her grip. She lets her head tilt back and I kiss her ear and down her throat. 

I cup her face in my hands and I study her face. I want to make sure this is real, that it’s her and not a dream. She moves herself further toward the back of the bed and I follow, hovering over top of her. She laces her hands in my hair and pulls my face to hers and she kisses me deep, faster and stronger. The more we kiss, the more I want, and more she gives me, my mind going to places I’ve never been.

She slowly pulls away and I try to gain control of myself. I don’t want to let her out of my arms, but I give in, and she is free. She’s lying next to me, both of us breathing heavy, but my body aches to touch her, to feel the heat of her against me. I look into her bright eyes and I can almost see my reflection in them. For a moment we just lie there, next to each other, without a word, without a touch, and without me knowing what is running through her mind.

“What are you thinking about?” she asks and I smile, happy to know I’m not the only one wondering. 

“I’m thinking about you, how beautiful you look.” 

She smiles and touches my hand. It makes me want more—to touch her back, to hold her in my arms.

“I—I’ve wondered what it would be like to kiss you,” she says.

“And?” My stomach clenches as if I’m on a rollercoaster.

“Like nothing I’ve experienced before.”

“What does that mean, exactly?” 

She just laughs and moves closer to me, touching her soft lips to mine and, once again, I lose myself in her kiss.

“Dad, I’m telling you, it’s better. I know it!” 

He walks away, closing the door behind him. I’ve been telling my parents that my leg is better and I want the cast off, to see it for myself. The pain is completely gone; I can walk and even jump as if my leg had never been broken. The only thing bothering me right now is the cast itself. 

I walk after my dad, chasing him down the stairs. “Fine!” I say and he turns to look at me. “If you’re not helping me take this thing off, I’ll do it myself.” I walk past him, heading to the front door. 

“Livia, come back here! Sit down. Let’s talk like adults.”

“I did, but you’re not listening. Are you afraid that I might be right? Did it occur to you that I might have accelerated healing?” I look at him for an answer. “One more ability isn’t going to make me any more of a freak. I think I’ve reached the top of that list!”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Dad snaps. He pauses and says in a low tone, “You’re not a freak, but if we go to the hospital and the fracture is gone, what are they going to think? They’re not going to understand and they’ll ask questions.”

“Then take it off yourself, right here at home.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Right now!”

I know I’m being a brat, but I need to know if my body is fixing itself. More than ever, I want to know what is wrong with me and why. I want to find my biological parents. I don’t want to lie to Adam—I want him to know who I am, but I don’t even know myself. All I can think of is him, the kiss, his touch and I want more, but it won’t work if I’m too busy trying to hide everything else.