Resisting Perfection (The Perfection Series Book 2) (3 page)

“No, sweet Piper. I have to go on my own. You heard Frank. I’m no good for you. I can’t allow my past to ruin your future. You deserve better.” I can’t be hearing this right. Why is this happening again? My heart was only beginning to mend and he’s ripped it out again. It begins pounding out of control before I pull away from him in anger.

“You are not walking away from me again, Fenton James. I came to tell you I believe in you and regardless of your past, I want to be with you. I will not allow you to do this to me.”

“This decision was not easy for me but it has been made. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m so happy that I know you but I don’t even deserve your friendship. Please don’t worry about me. I have someone who will take good care of me.” He pulls his female friend to his side and I want to punch her in the face. Hell, I want to punch both of them in the face.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Fenton? A little bit of drama presents itself and you pluck the nearest woman who will give you the time of day. You know what? You make me sick. I can’t believe I allowed myself to get involved with you.” He closes his eyes but not before they fill with anguish. Good! That’s what he gets. He needs to understand how much he’s hurt me. I want him to feel the pain I’ve been feeling. But as sure as the thought crosses my mind, I know it’s not true.

“Fenton, I believed in you, I believed in us. When everyone else wouldn’t, I did. How can you just walk away like what we had was nothing?”

“Because it wasn’t,” he says, sticking the knife in and turning it for pleasure. My breath catches and I grasp my chest. Agony rips though me as the two of them turn and walk away from me. Fent’s friend peaks back over his shoulder and mouths
sorry,
as if that makes me feel better. It doesn’t. It makes me feel cheap, like yesterday’s trash. Then I notice the tears sliding down her cheeks while she helps him into the car and I grow confused. Why would she be crying? She’s won. The prize we’ve emotionally jousted for is sitting in her car right now and she is apologizing to me and crying. I don’t get it.

As she walks around to get in the car, I notice she drops a piece of paper. I contemplate telling her she dropped it but I can’t speak. I’m numb as I watch her walk away with the man that has turned my world upside down.

She opens the door and looks at me with a sad smile before getting in and it makes my blood boil. How dare she look sad when I am the one that is getting kicked in the teeth for believing in someone who very clearly doesn’t deserve it? As they begin to pull away, I look to Fenton and he is staring straight ahead; the coward doesn’t even try to look at me. They drive down to the corner stop sign then turn, traveling further away from the happiness that has been my life for the last few weeks.

I turn back to my car and wipe the tears while trying to figure out what just happened. I thought there for a moment he was coming back to me.  I laugh at myself as I realize I never really had him to lose in the first place. I think he may have liked the idea for a while but the thought of actually being with one person was too much for him to handle. It’s just as everyone told me. He used me for a while and now that he’s had his fill, he’s finished with me.

              Thinking those words make me so angry with myself for getting involved with him. Then, for some reason I remember the paper she dropped and wonder if I should even bother. Could that paper have anything that could change how I feel right now? Does it even have anything to do with me? I take a deep breath before deciding I need to know what it contains. Finally, I walk over, pick up the paper and unfold it slowly as I am a little afraid to see what is inside.

Sweet Piper,

Please don’t hate me.

Yours always,

Fenton Scott James

My eyes close as the burn takes over again. I didn’t think my heart could possibly hurt anymore. Why did he do this to me? Why did he have to leave me this stupid note? This stupid, beautiful, sweet note. What does it mean? Why couldn’t he leave and let me believe he hated me? That would’ve been so much easier. My first thought is to rip the paper in a million pieces, symbolizing what he did to my heart. I can’t because it’s the last piece of him I have. It’s the only piece of hope I have left.

I stick the note in my pocket and wonder who I can talk to about him. I have too many questions and no one to answer them. I can’t go to Frank for obvious reasons and his friend Gibson is dead. That leaves Liam. I guess I can ask him but the last time we talked, he wasn’t too happy with him. He’s going to have to get over it. I need answers and he’s the only one that can provide them.

My mind begins racing a million miles a minute as I get in the car.  I start to panic as I don’t know where Liam lives. The dash clock reads seven. Shit! That means he isn’t at work any longer. As I drive in the direction of my house, I remember he gave me Samantha’s number so we could get together. I sigh in relief. I pull my car in the gas station lot and find my phone, enter her number and hit call as anxiety fills me.

“Hello?” an out of breath Samantha answers after a couple of rings.

“Hi Samantha, its Piper.”

“Oh! Hi, Piper! How are you? I was just telling Liam I needed to call you. Abbey will be at a play date on Friday and I was wondering if you wanted to get together for lunch?” At any other time her enthusiasm would be welcome. I don’t think I could be cheerful right now if I tried but if anyone can put a smile on my face it’s her. Her sweet voice and happy-go-lucky attitude is usually so contagious.

“Uh, Friday? Well, I will have to check my schedule and get back to you. Listen, I was wondering if you and Liam would be able to meet for dinner this evening?”

“Oh, I don’t think I can get a sitter for Abbey that quickly. I’m sorry.”

Damn it. I knew it was going to be a long shot.

“Ok. Thanks anyway,” I say, deflated.

“Does this have something to do with Fenton? If it does, I will make sure Liam is there.”

“Yes, it’s about Fenton. Thank you for helping me. I really need some answers and Liam is my only hope.”

“Piper, I don’t know what has happened between those two or the two of you but Fenton really needs to figure it out and get past it. Do you think Liam has the answer?”

“I sure hope so. Can you have him meet me at the little deli in the District?” I know I should explain further but I just don’t have the energy. I’m sure Liam will fill her in, so I don’t feel as bad for not telling her.

“Yes, I will let him know. Piper, you’re a good girl. Probably the best I’ve seen him with. I’m sorry he’s pulling you through his madness but if anyone can meet him on the other side, it’s you. I hope I haven’t over stepped, I just wanted you to know I believe in you and Fenton and if you feel he’s worth the trouble he’s causing you, you shouldn’t give up on him.”

“Thank you for saying that, I appreciate any advice I can get.”

“You’re welcome. I will make sure Liam is there on time. Bye, Piper!”

My mind begins racing again as I rush home to change and fill Phoebe in. I can’t wrap my head around everything that has happened today. I knew there was something deeper between Fenton and Frank but I never dreamed it would be that. My dad gets upset with Phoebe and me but he would never treat us the way Frank treats Fent.

Warm tears begin to fall down my cheeks at the thought of Fent. I wish I could wrap my arms around him right now and tell him I didn’t mean anything I said to him. He has enough people in his life that talk down to him. I shouldn’t be one of them.

I pull up to my apartment and practically run upstairs. Phoebe opens the door before I get a chance to grab my keys out of my purse.

“Piper, what is going on?”

“Let’s go inside, it is a long story.” I follow her in the house and drop my purse on the table just inside the door. We sit on the couch and I wonder where I should begin.

“Just spit it out,” she answers my unspoken question.

“Phoebe, Frank is Fenton’s father.”

“Wow! I wasn’t expecting that. I though he told you and Dad he didn’t have family?”

“He lied.” I go into detail about everything that has happened today and what Fenton told me last night about his brother. I pour my heart out to her, just as Fent did with me. Even as I am recalling the story, I feel numb. I still can’t believe everything that has happened.

“So, where is his mother?”

“From what I gathered today, she is no longer living. And from the sounds of it, her death wasn’t pretty. Frank said she died of a broken heart but Fent said she didn’t get the help she needed. I think they were a completely broken family after his brother was killed and didn’t know how to help one another. It’s sad that neither of them can hold up their white flag so they can begin to heal. Witnessing how they treat each other really makes me appreciate how close we are.”

“How are you going to go to work tomorrow after all of this?”

“Well…I’m not.” I can’t look her in the eye. I’m so ashamed of the way things happened. I’m usually the sister who has her shit together, not the girl who quits her job because of a guy.

“Why not?”

“Frank gave me an ultimatum: continue working for James and stop seeing Fent or go after Fent and lose my job.”

Her silence is killing me. However, my eyes stay trained on the floor as she doesn’t need to see the shame in them. I’ve been less than supportive of the lifestyle she’s chosen for herself and now I feel I’m in the same position. So, I need to ready myself for the same disappointed speech I usually give her.

“I am proud of you, Piper.” Relief and regret wash over me. If anyone understands my line of thinking, it’s Phoebe. I’ll admit, I was expecting more of a hard time before she gave me her approval.

“Thank you. I knew you’d understand. I guess I owe you an apology.”

“What? Why?”

“I constantly badger you about the life you lead, thinking with your heart instead of your head. Now that I’ve experienced it, I know why you do.”

“Nonsense. You have no reason to apologize to me. I did try to warn you because I knew you didn’t have experience but that is a lesson everyone needs in order to appreciate a great relationship. Just know you made the right decision. I know you are the type who has to have everything planned out but know everything happens for a reason. We may not know what that reason is yet but it will present itself in the right time. Although you and Fenton parting ways is probably for the best, Frank shouldn’t feel like he can dictate what you do outside of work.”

“Yeah, but now I’ve lost Fenton and my job. I knew from the beginning being with him was going to cause issues but I never dreamed they would be this deep. I was ready to keep our work relationship professional; however, too many people made it their business to call attention to it. I only wish I didn’t feel as though the decision was for nothing. But Phebes, Frank treats his son with so much disdain it makes you wonder how he conducts business, you know? I need to work for a company that has morals.”

“I understand. So, where is Fent?”

“I’m not sure,” I sigh.

“What do you mean? I thought you left James so you could be with him?”

“Listen, it got really intense for a while and I wasn’t sure that either of them was going to leave that roof. Fent flipped and left before Frank asked me to leave the company. I ran after him but, Phoebe…” I can’t continue. It’s too painful to relive his words. How do I explain I’m a fool? Then he left his cryptic note. I’m so confused.

“What Piper? You can’t leave me hanging.”

“That’s what he did to me, Phoebe. He left me hanging.” That’s it. That’s all I can tell her. She is going to have to take my word for it.

“What do you mean he left you hanging?”

“I can’t talk anymore, Phoebe. I have to meet Liam.”

“What? Why? I am so confused, Pipe. What’s going on?”

I place my hands on hers and close my eyes. “Phoebe, when I get home, I promise I’ll give you more detail but I need some answers before I can understand what is going on. Please just bare with me.” She nods and sits back against the sofa. I thank the Lord for her silence and that she doesn’t press me further. I squeeze her hand one last time before I run to my room.

Chapter Two

Piper

Once I close the door behind me, I lean against it and let the stress from the day take me; the tears are pouring and my head is beginning to pound. I could kill Fent for this, or Frank. Where ever the blame lies. Honestly, they probably couldn’t even tell you when this feud began. I mean clearly it began with the death of his brother but after that, there was so much pain and anger that things just spiraled out of control without either of them knowing it was happening.

Shaking any further thought from my mind, I get up and begin moving toward my closet to find some fresh clothes. I will probably burn these once I have them off just for the sheer fact they represent such a stressful time. Now that I think about it, I’m glad that Fent was only here a few times as I wouldn’t be able to be in this room if more had happened. It’s bad
enough I will now have two notes from him to store in my nightstand. I laugh at that thought because I never pictured Fent for a note writer. He struck me as the type to tell me anything he needed to say in person. I find it strange that with every other aspect of his life he has so much confidence. I can’t think of a better person to lead a construction site and he knows that to be true. The man I met at the bar could pick up any girl he wanted and from what I understand, he did…often. Yet when it comes to me, why are there times he feels he needs to write his feelings out instead of calling me or waiting until he is with me? I don’t get it.

I finally find some shorts to pull on and step into some flips flops before pulling a brush through my hair. I cringe at the refection staring back at me and decide I should splash some cold water on my face to take the red puffiness away. I don’t want to alarm Liam even though I think he probably knows what is happening.

After getting myself pulled together, I am out of my apartment in fifteen minutes. The traffic is light this evening and I am thankful because I am not really in the mood to deal with it. I will miss Fenton chauffeuring me around. The stress of getting lost at any moment is sometimes so overwhelming. He made my life so much easier in so many different ways. I have to stop this line of thinking as I need to keep the tears in. Although the situation is somewhat dire, I don’t want to break down in front of Liam. I need to be strong if I want to have any chance of getting some answers.

There are no parking places on the street in front of the café, so I drive down to the lot about a block down, which happens to be directly in front of Fent’s bar.  All the lights in the windows are off and there isn’t the usual crowd out front. I briefly wonder why none of his staff is running his place while he is gone when I realize the chick who was with him earlier is his bartender. I knew she looked familiar. Now my mind is racing with hundreds of new questions. Why is he with her? Does she know all of his secrets? My heart starts pounding as the one question that never even occurred to me before is now resonating heavily within me. Has he been sleeping with her?

I spot Liam already seated at a table outside and I wonder how this conversation will go. I hope I can keep my composure. The last thing I need is to break down in the middle of the café. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all. I don’t know if I can handle the answers he may offer about her. I shake the thoughts away as I know I don’t have a choice. If I want to move on, I have to know. I need to know

“Piper, how are you?” Liam looks a bit worried as he stands to welcome me. His deep voice is guarded as though he isn’t sure what to say to me. I guess after the last day or two we’ve had, it makes sense.

“Well, I have been better. Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice.”

“Of course. Sam said you sounded pretty upset. What can I do to help?”

“Has Fenton slept with his bar tender? You know the one that is there all the time.” The question falls out before I can stop it and Liam’s mouth literally falls to the table at my forwardness.

“I...”

“I’m sorry, Liam. That isn’t what I came here to talk about. But being here in front of Fent’s bar has presented some new questions I wasn’t aware I needed answers to.” I stop rambling when he covers my hand with his. I look up from the table and his eyes are soft and apologetic.

“It’s ok, Piper. It’s completely understandable that you aren’t in your right state of mind. Listen, I don’t know what happened earlier but I heard it wasn’t pretty. Do you want to tell me about it?”

“All I want is for you to tell me what is going on with Fenton. I was let in on a little of his back story today and all I could think about was hiding away from the world with him until he could free himself from his demons. But just when he needed comforting the most, he pushed me away and ran to her. He needs help, Liam. Even if I can’t be that for him, someone needs to, for his safety.” Before he answers, he takes a drink of his water. He doesn’t flinch or seem shocked. His demeanor tells me that he has had this conversation before.

“Listen, Piper. You should be glad you got away from him when you did.”

“Don’t you understand I’m not? The thought of him hitting rock bottom and not letting anyone help him breaks my heart. Although, I guess he does have someone helping him and the fact that that someone isn’t me is what breaks my heart.” I shake that thought away because that isn’t the main issue here. “I don’t understand, Liam. The two of you seemed like you were such good friends and when he needed you to stand behind him, you threw him under the bus.”

“I want you to listen to what I’m getting ready to tell you, ok? Fenton and Frank have a long history, a very rocky and dangerous history; one where one or both of them are constantly trying to break the other down. And I do mean by any means possible. You are not the first girl who has had her heart broke by Fent but I must admit I was hoping for a different outcome. I have never witnessed the change in him he had when you were with him.

“Anyway, Frank is very powerful; more powerful than you probably realize. Usually power means danger. Especially the type of power he has. I’m sure you were made aware Frank is Fent’s father and I don’t have to tell you that automatically puts Fenton in danger. Knowing Fent, I’m sure he didn’t mention that tidbit to you and that is why I’m pissed at him. He had no right to put you in that kind of danger.”

“You said yourself I’m not the first person Fent has hurt, so why do I matter more than anyone else?” His flagrant glare gives me goose bumps. I don’t want to think about the meaning of it. I’m having a hard enough time thinking about anything other than Fenton being with some other woman while he needs to be with me. So, for Liam to sit here implying Fent has feelings for me is ridiculous. However, he has confirmed what I was afraid of: there is more to Frank than he lets anyone see and in order to get to the bottom of the situation, I need to talk to him. A glimmer of hope begins blossoming at the fact that maybe Fenton is trying to keep me safe from Frank and that is why he is staying away from me. But why wouldn’t he tell me? It would be so much easier on both of us if he would just let me know what is going on. Unless that isn’t the reason he is staying away and in that case, maybe I am better off without him.

“I can’t speak for Fenton, I don’t know what is going on in his mind, but he is dangerous, Piper. He has tried and failed to stay sober more than anyone I have ever known. I thought with you around, he may be different this time but I was wrong and for that I am sorry.”

“Do you know what happened today, Liam?”

“Frank gave me the overview.”

“What exactly did he tell you?”

“That Fent went crazy and held the two of you at gunpoint.”

“Of course that’s what he told you. He was so sad and so broken and I thought he was going to continue the story he couldn’t finish last night. Yes, he had a little to drink but underneath all of his anguish, I could tell he was excited to finally tell someone and I was so happy that someone was me. However, before he could even begin, Frank stuck his nose in. You and I both know how much it hurts Fent to talk about his past and Frank just stepped in and threw it in his face. I know Fenton is not innocent in all this, although Fenton was only a child when all of this took place. So to think Frank blames him is still not sitting well with me, but for once he was going to tell someone how he felt. To me that is a step in the right direction and it disgusts me that Frank took that away from him. How long have you known Frank is Fent’s father, Liam?” I have to stop myself as I hear my voice becoming angrier. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Once I feel somewhat calmed, I become conscious of the fact that we are still outside and discussing some very personal subjects. I quickly look around to make sure no one is listening; thankfully, the only other people that were out here left.

“I only recently found out and only by accident. One thing I want you to remember, Piper: Fenton has been at this for a long time and I know as much as it hurts you to see him hurting, please know that he always finds a way to pull himself through it. It isn’t going to be pretty but I can assure you he will do what is necessary.

“I know you think what I did to him was low and I can assure you it didn’t make me feel very good having to do it. But I did it for him, Piper. You have to believe that. He wants so badly to get away from Frank. Sometimes I think he thrives on the drama they cause each other but it is wearing on him and I’m sure you can agree with that.”

“So, you made sure Fenton was fired for his own sake? I have to say, I don’t know I agree that was the best way to handle the situation. I mean, look what happened today. He came very close to shooting Frank and I am not convinced that if I weren’t standing there with them, that he wouldn’t have.”

“I don’t think he would have shot him.”

“You seem so sure but you weren’t up there and you didn’t see the hurt in his eyes.”

“I’ve seen it many times before, Piper.”

“He just left me, Liam.”  As soon as the words pass over my lips, I can feel the tears welling; I can’t hold them in any longer. “He just left me and when I went to find him, he was leaving his bar with who I thought at the time was some random woman. I know now it was his bartender but the pain that tore through me when I saw them together just minutes after he left me was crippling. If I ever doubted the feelings I have for him, they were proven in that very moment.

“Even though I was hurting, when he put out his arms for me, I ran to him and he shielded me from the world for just a few seconds. It felt so right, Liam, like nothing in the world mattered as long as his arms were around me. I’ve never felt that way before. Ever. Then he broke my heart all over again when he told me what we had was nothing. How could he say that to me, Liam? I know we haven’t known each other long but anyone that was around us knew we had something; the pull between us was so strong. It was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I just don’t understand.” I rest my head on my arm while I sob. Right in the middle of the restaurant seating area, I bawl my eyes out. I don’t care who hears me or who gets upset. My heart has just been thrown on the ground and stomped on, so I don’t care what people think of me.

“Piper, listen,” Liam whispers, while lifting my head from the table so we are eye to eye. “I’m so sorry for what you are going through. Why don’t we take a drive somewhere and maybe we can figure something out.”

“One more thing, Liam, and this part has me the most confused.” I pull the note from my pocket and hand it to him. I watch, void of all emotion, as he reads the note. He slowly folds the paper back together and looks at me with hardened eyes.

“Where is he, Piper?”

“I don’t know,” I shrug, completely defeated.

“Look, we really need to get out of here.” He looks over his shoulder and I realize he is worried about someone listening. After hearing how dangerous Frank can be, I guess I should be, too. Maybe once my adrenaline crashes, I may be able to compartmentalize but right now, I am on a mission for answers. However, I am a little nervous being out in a public place myself. Now I am a little aggravated Fent didn’t tell me how dangerous Frank is. As much as he wanted me away from him, he sure didn’t tell me about the one part of him I probably should have known.

“Yes, let’s get out of here. I have so many more questions needing answers we can’t discuss here.”

Without another word, he stands, pulling me up with him. I follow him without question as I am at a complete loss for what to do next. I know I should leave Fenton alone and let him decide what he wants and I would have done that very thing if he had not left me that damn note. I’m missing something. I know he can’t just dismiss the last month of our life. I know he can be a dick but I never thought he would be able to treat me the way he treats everyone else, I thought we had something special.