Restless Billionaire (19 page)

 
          
Jacob
smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. ‘I hope so, but the truth is that I was
the one person who Sebastian turned to after his mother was sent away, and
after our father died, he was always the intensely quiet foil to Nathaniel’s
extrovert showmanship. They each found their own way of coping after their
mother had to be committed …’ He trailed off and then said, ‘After I left … I
knew that he might take it the hardest. But I had no choice.’

 
          
For
a second Aneesa thought she had a flash of insight into Sebastian’s psyche when
she sensed that Jacob had felt unable to contain his own rage and emotions, and
had left for that reason, to protect his own family. Did Sebastian share that
fear? ‘I’m sure you had your reasons …’ Aneesa stopped then, feeling utterly
useless. Sebastian hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d warned her of their dark
past. ‘I … I should really go to him.’

 
          
Jacob
caught her arm lightly as she turned to go. She looked back.

 
          
‘I’m
glad he has you, Aneesa.’

 
          
She
just smiled but it felt brittle. She didn’t think it the best time to get into
the dynamics of her non-relationship with Sebastian. It looked like his
brothers and sister had enough on their hands. But never more than now did she
feel a sense of futility wash over her.

 
          
She
went to the reception desk and got the key to their room, where their luggage
had already been deposited. As the private lift whisked Aneesa silently
upwards, she smiled politely at the slightly awed elevator attendant, who
showed her to the door of the suite and opened it for her.

 
          
She
slipped inside, heart thumping painfully. She walked through the rooms until
she saw him, standing with his back to her, one arm above his head resting on
the window which looked out over London’s skyline. The other hand in his
pocket, and his whole frame so rigid, her heart ached.

 
          
He
didn’t turn around.
‘Not now, Aneesa, please.
Just …
leave me alone.’

 
          
The
raw pain in his voice meant she had no choice. And she knew in that moment with
a fatal inevitability that she loved him. She walked over to him and wrapped
her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his back, pressing close
against him.

 
          
At
first he stiffened and he brought his hand out of his pocket to cover hers as
if to take her hands away, but then she felt a shudder run through his powerful
frame and instead of extricating himself he laced his fingers tightly through
hers and held her hands in place.

 
          
She
could have wept for him and her throat ached at the turmoil she felt in his
body. She knew he was crying but she guessed it wasn’t with tears, she imagined
it was like a kind of deep ache that went beyond tears, welling up from inside
him. She could feel it like a physical sensation resonating within her. She
didn’t know how long they stood there like that with her arms tight around him,
her body pressed against his, her bump pressing solidly into his buttocks, but
at some stage Sebastian started talking, in such a low voice that Aneesa had to
strain to hear.

 
          
He
told her everything—about how utterly mesmerising his mother had been, but too
fragile to be a real mother, and then how she’d disappeared into full-time
care, which had been terrifying to a six-year-old.
The
constant crying and fighting between his parents before his mother had
disappeared, and about his violent father and the highs and lows of his
mercurial moods.
How he would drunkenly wake them all up and initiate a
magical ghost hunt in the woods surrounding the house on a midsummer night’s
eve which would then morph into a nightmare of gigantic proportions because one
of the boys would have innocently provoked him into an uncontrollable rage.

 
          
He
spoke about the fierce solidarity between his siblings who’d always looked out
for one another, despite the fact that they weren’t all full siblings. And
about how, despite that solidarity,
he’d
never really felt a part of it, somehow always on the fringes, observing the
action. He told her dispassionately about how his father had brutally whipped
his sister, and about Jacob being the one constant
who
had never let him get too insular … until the day he’d left for good.

 
          
The
setting evening sun was streaking the sky outside with dusky pink ribbons when
Sebastian finally turned around in Aneesa’s arms. He looked down at her and she
stifled a breath. He looked haggard, his eyes bruised.

 
          
‘Why
are you here? Why are you listening to this?’

 
          
She
gave a small shrug, her eyes never leaving his.
‘Because you
needed to tell someone.
Because you’re the father of my
child,
and because …’ Her heart tripped for a second. She
was half terrified she’d reveal just how much she cared about him. ‘Because you
were there for me when I needed someone …’

 
          
He
quirked a small smile and relief flooded her belly.

 
          
‘Yes,
but instead of providing silent counsel and sending you on your way I threw you
onto the nearest bed and made love to you within an inch of our lives.’

 
          
Aneesa
took his hand from around her waist and pressed a kiss to his palm before
saying, ‘And I’m glad you did.’

 
          
He
shook his head then, his face sobering up. ‘I can’t go back down there. I can’t
see him. I wanted to kill him. I’ve never felt such rage before.’

 
          
No
, thought Aneesa,
because you’ve channelled it into physical things like burning your
body out
.

 
          
He
extricated himself from Aneesa’s arms and walked over to the drinks cabinet
where he poured himself a drink. Gently Aneesa pointed out, ‘It’s not just
Jacob who is down there,
it’s
Nathaniel and his new
wife. And
your
other brothers, and sister. They all
looked so happy to see you.’

 
          
He
threw back the drink. She saw his fingers clench so tightly around the glass
his knuckles shone white. ‘Yes, but it’s
him
.
I won’t give him the absolution he obviously wants, it’s too late. He can’t
just arrive back into our lives like this.’

 
          
Aneesa
walked over and turned him around to face her.
‘So what?
You’re just going to avoid seeing him ever again? That’s not exactly the adult
response, is it?’

 
          
Before
he could launch into an attack she said with soft determination, ‘I know he
hurt you, and badly, but no one is perfect, least of all us. Look at the car
wreckage my life has been for the past few months. I’ve caused untold shame and
misery to my family but despite that they still love me, and I know how lucky I
am to have that. For a long time I was seduced by a much
more
shallow
world, and I wasn’t a particularly nice person. I took my family
completely for granted, and yet when things fell apart they were still there
for me.’

 
          
She
pressed on. ‘What you and your family went through was horrific, no one could
dispute that, and from what you’ve told me, frankly I’m surprised that Jacob
didn’t leave a lot sooner. He obviously felt a huge sense of responsibility to
you all.’

 
          
Sebastian
issued a curt laugh.
‘So huge that he left his vulnerable
teenage sister still nursing the wounds of her attack from our father, and his
younger brothers to the mercy of boarding schools and housekeepers for care?’

 
          
Aneesa
said wryly, ‘You turned out OK for all that second-rate care.’ Then she bit her
lip. ‘Look, all I know is that my family had more than enough grounds to throw
me out on the street and disown me after what I did to them. But they didn’t.
It’s so much easier to see things in black and white and it sounds to me as if
that’s what your father did a lot of the time, fuelled by his drinking and rage.

 
          
‘Can
you not try and see things from Jacob’s point of view?’ Aneesa asked. ‘Maybe he
was scared he would become like your father, and cause more pain and harm?
Perhaps he felt that that was his only option—to leave you all behind. Who
knows what the guilt of killing a parent would do to someone even if it had
been accidental?’

 
          
Sebastian
felt as if Aneesa was flaying him alive with her words. She was coming far too
close to his own inarticulate fears that he, too, might have carried his father’s
twisted moods and personality. The rage he’d felt just now when faced with
Jacob had scared him with its intensity. He lashed out, sneering, ‘You didn’t
mention the psychology degree you did in your spare time between Bollywood
blockbusters.’

 
          
And
the instant the words were out he wanted to swallow them back. He saw Aneesa’s
face pale and her chin come up. She said with the utmost dignity, ‘I’m going to
ignore that comment and give you the benefit of the doubt. And I’m going to go
back downstairs to join your family and get to know them a little more. If you
feel like you can stop wallowing in your childhood hurt and join the present,
then you’ll know where to find me.’

 
          
And
on stiff legs she walked out, the door shutting with incongruous quiet behind
her.

 
          
ANEESA
was sitting beside Annabelle at one of the round tables where they’d just
finished coffees. She didn’t need to look around to know that Sebastian hadn’t
reappeared. She was trying to concentrate on the conversation but was still smarting
from his cruel words.

 
          
She
was also reeling with the knowledge that this beautiful, immaculately
turned-out woman had been so horrifically beaten. Annabelle was being very
sweet and explaining that her twin brother, Alex, was a racing car driver based
in Australia, and couldn’t be there.

 
          
Aneesa
put a hand to her bump, only realising what she’d done when she noticed
Annabelle follow the movement. She grimaced. ‘It’s still small, but it seems to
be getting bigger by the day now.’

 
          
Annabelle
smiled politely but then looked away with a small frown forming between her
grey eyes. ‘Jack should be here too, our elder brother, but I haven’t seen him
yet. I know Jacob wants to talk to him….’

 
          
Annabelle’s
eyes snagged and widened on something or someone else at the entrance to the
room and Aneesa followed her look to see that Sebastian had returned and was in
the doorway, with Jacob. Relief flooded her, and her silly heart swelled with
love and pride. As she watched, Sebastian put out his hand but instead of
shaking it, Jacob drew him into a fierce hug.

 
          
Her
eyes smarting suspiciously now, and feeling dangerously emotional, she made a
garbled excuse to Annabelle, saying she wanted to get something from the room.
The waiters were starting to clear the tables and encourage people to get up so
they could rearrange the room for dancing, so she wouldn’t be missed.
Instinctively she felt the need to give Sebastian some space with his family.

 
          
Once
in the suite though, fatigue overcame her and she lay down for a while, unable
to resist the lure of a nap when her eyes felt heavy. She woke up when she
heard the door open and close and sat up groggily.

 
          
Sebastian
appeared in the doorway, his jacket off and tie undone, looking rakishly
handsome. ‘Where did you get to?’

 
          
Aneesa
sat up at the side of the bed and pushed her hair back. She felt at a
disadvantage. ‘I must have fallen asleep. I lay down just for a minute….’

 
          
Sebastian
walked over and sat beside her; his distinctive scent made her stomach clench
with desire. His eyes
glittered
an intense blue, all
earlier signs of haggardness gone. He took a tendril of hair that had drifted
down over her shoulder and let it slip through his fingers. He looked at her. ‘I’m
sorry for what I said earlier. I had no right to lash out at you, and you were
too generous to give me the benefit of the doubt.’