Restore Me (Book 2.5 Kin Series) (13 page)

To be honest, I never really thought about having children, at least not until
I was in my forties. I had long term goals that were more important, plus since I didn’t want to settle down, I didn’t see it possible for a woman to be alright with that. Besides, if I had my own child, I’d want them in my home and living with a woman was out of the question.

Then I thought about Lacey and how I’d asked her to stay in my guest room whenever she wanted. I thought about how great it felt when I woke up with her in my arms.

I shook off the thought and focused on getting finished and getting back. At any second my mind would bounce back to reality and I’d stop thinking about where she was or what she was doing.

I stopped by the store on the way home and grabbed a six pack, knowing I’d need at least six beers after I told her she couldn’t stay another night. I’d made up my mind that I needed to walk away, to prevent from losing my grip of what was important. She was just a woman.

It was just pussy.

I pulled into the driveway with a clear conscience, determined to put an end to things. With a brown bag in my hand, I walked into my place. Lacey
’s car was still outside, but she wasn’t anywhere to be found.

My stomach dropped and out of nowhere, another bout of feelings came over me. I had to find her, to see why she wasn’t in my bed waiting for me. I was so fucked up in my head, mad with myself over my inability to take control that I didn’t realize for a second what I was walking into.

Chapter 14

Ford greeted me at the door and I could tell from the look on his face that he knew I’d fucked Lacey. He pressed his lips together and shook his head at me, like I was such a disappointment. “Hey, man. Is Lacey around?”

“
Why do you want to know? You want to fill her head with more bullshit? I told you to back off, cuz.” It pissed me off that he thought he could make decisions for me.

“She knew what she was doin’.”

“Just go back to your place. Lacey’s restin’.” He had a hand on the door, like he was going to do whatever it took to keep me outside.

I tried to push passed him.

He raised his voice. “I said you’re not comin’ in here and fillin’ her head with lies.”

“Back off with that. I just want to talk to her.”
I held my hands out like I didn’t want to fight with him.

“Is that what you told her to get her into bed with you, Joey?”

I got up in his face and heard her screaming from the hallway. “Stop!”

I pointed to Ford and had a dirty look on my face.
“This fool won’t let me talk to you. Tell him we’re cool, Lace.”

She froze, like she was in denial of everything that had happened between us. She looked petrified of me.
“I’m going to stay here tonight.”

I shouldn’t have cared. It would have been better if I listened, but I couldn’t control the things that came out of my mouth when it came to her.
“What did I do?”

“I’m sure you can call someone else to keep you company. Do you keep a black book or do they just show up on certain days of the week?”
I don’t know what was worse; her knowing I could make a phone call, or her calling me out on it.

I had to deny it, because seeing her look at me that way sucked
. “Lace, I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“I think you should go, Joey.”
She was adamant.

I threw up my hands and started walking out.
“This is bullshit and the reason I don’t get involved. See ya’ll later.”

It only took me a second to lock up my place and climb on my bike. I needed to get the fuck away from them, before shit got real. I was pissed at Ford for cock blocking me and pissed at Lacey for not admitting she had a good time with me.

There hadn’t been a plan to where I was headed, but when I pulled up at Candace’s place, I knew just what I needed to get my head straight.

She must have heard my bike, because she met me at the front door. “Joey? What are you doin’ here?”

“Is it a bad time?” I walked up the porch steps and was nearly a foot away from her. She was trying to read me. That I could tell.

“Are you okay?”

“I could be better.” I ran my hand into her hair and yanked her head back. “How about you make that happen?”

She looked around and pulled me inside while walking backwards. As soon as the door had shut, it was on like Donkey Kong. I flipped us around and lifted her up, shoving her hard
against he metal front door. I went to kiss her but she moved her head to the side. “Wait. I thought you said that you didn’t want to do this. You made it clear we were going to stick to our schedule.”

I shoved her again and her head hit the door again. “I didn’t fuckin’ come here to talk.” I kissed her hard, without feeling and felt her begin to reciprocate. Her legs wrapped around my waist and her tongue had begun to match my
vigorous rhythm.

Candace started grinding her pelvis into mine, letting me know she was ready and willing. I carried her into the bedroom and tossed her on the bed. “Take off your clothes.”

She started slow, as if I was going to get off on watching her. Since I wasn’t there for entertainment, I turned around before beginning to unzip my jeans. When I spun around, with my cock hanging out of my pants, she was sitting there naked. “Where do you want me?”

I growled
seeing her nude body laying there ready for me. It was too planned out though and it pissed me off. I reached over, grabbed one of her legs and twisted her around. Her ass perked up and I smacked it hard. As I started to rub it, she turned around. “What happened to get you so worked up. You can talk to me, you know? We’ve been friends forever, Joey.”

I leaned in like I was going to kiss her. “I don’t want to fuckin’ talk, so stop askin’.”

She started to cry and it only fueled my anger more. A flat hand came slapping against my cheek. “Fuck you! Get the fuck out of my house!”

I grabbed her hand as she was about to do it again. “You wanna get rough? I’ll fuckin’ show you rough.” I grabbed my belt and tied her hands to the headboard. I could see fear in her eyes and it made me want to cum all over naked body.

One hand ran between her tits and down her abdomen. “Are you scared of me, Candace?”

She shook her head. “N..No!”

I let out a laugh. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not afraid.” Her eyes were filled with tears.

I leaned down and kissed on her clit softly, before looking into her eyes. “I came here for one thing and you’re goin’ to give it to me aren’t you?”

She nodded.

I pulled away from her body, reached up and untied her hands. “You know what I want, don’t you?”

She nodded again. “
You promised we wouldn’t do that anymore. It scares me.”

She knew exactly what I was talking about.

“This ain’t about you. It’s about me. Are you goin’ to behave?”

I stood up and took o
ff my pants completely before climbing back on the bed. Candace jumped off and ran out of the room. Immediately, I felt like an insensitive prick. Not only had she begged me not to get rough like that again, but she’d explained why.

When we’d been in high school she had a boyfriend that beat her up repeatedly. When she told her parents, her father said she was making up the story for attention.

The beating continued until she was hospitalized. The kid, after being arrested and sent to a juvenile detention center, never showed his face in town again. I guess maybe his family moved away, but the damage had already been done.

I sat up in the bed and rubbed my face with my hands before going to look for her.

She was sitting in the kitchen, with a cigarette in her hand. I could see how bad she was shaking as I got closer. I placed my hand on her shoulders and began massaging them. “Sorry.”

She shook my hands away. “I can’t do this anymore, Joey. For years I’ve thought that you’d change someday, but it’s never goin’ to happen. I’ve tried to not have feelin’s for you. I’ve tried to act like none of this bothers me, but I know you see other women and you showin’ up once a week for sex isn’t enough for me anymore. You’re never goin’ to love anyone. I get it. I just can’t deal with it any longer. So, please, just go. Find someone else.”

I wasn’t surprised that she was over-reacting, but didn’t want to walk out that door and have hard feelings between us. It was also obvious that I couldn’t feed her with false hope. “I care about you, Candace. That’s not a lie.”

She shook her head, but wouldn’t look at me. “
I’m tired of waitin’ for someone that’s incapable of lovin’ someone. Face it, Joey. The only woman that you’ll ever give two shits about is your own mother.”

“It ain’t my fault, you know. I can’t make myself feel somethin’ that I don’t.”

She finally turned around and gave me the most disappointing look. “I never asked you to lie. This is on me. I let it go on for too long. My problem is that I wanted more. I want a family and a future. I can’t live here and give massages for the rest of my life. I can’t wake up every day knowing that the man I’m in love with is out fuckin’ women with no regard for our feelin’s. And you know what? They’re probably in love with you, too, you son of a bitch.”

“I thought we were on the same page.” Surely the other women in my life weren’t like Candace.

“You thought wrong,” she argued and took another drag of her cigarette.

I sat down across from her and took her hand. “Look, how about you come back to your room and I make you feel better?”

She picked up a bottle of water that was sitting on the table and threw it at my head. I swatted it away with my hand and stood up while she began to scream.

“Get out! Get the fuck out of my house!”

I kicked the bottle of water before busting out of her front door and not looking back. Candace would most likely call apologizing in a couple days, especially when I didn’t show up on Wednesday. I’d been an insensitive asshole and I knew it.

My day kept getting shittier and I knew the best thing for me was to go home. My attempts at relieving stress had caused me even more.

Once I got on the highway, my mind left Candace and went right back to Lacey and how she’d dissed me. Now, because of her, I’d lost my Wednesday standing appointment. No woman had ever pulled my strings and gotten me so messed up in the head. If I didn’t figure out what the hell was going on, I was certain I would lose my mind, or burn even more bridges.

Getting into Lacey’s pants was turning out to be more drama than I had anticipated. Had I have known that this would be the outcome, I may not have done it.

Or maybe I would have.

I pulled into the driveway and saw that she wasn’t th
ere. Ford was outside washing Sky’s car. I think he knew what I was going to ask, even before I opened my mouth. “How do I reach her?”

He laughed and kept squirting the hose. “Seriously, man. Let it go. Can’t you see that she doesn’t want this? Sky spent the whole day tryin’ to get her to calm down. Now she’s
upset too. I told you to stay away. We both know you have plenty bitches to call for pussy. Why’d you have to reach in her honey pot?”

I ran my hand through my hair and looked around the yard. “I don’t know. She’s just different.”

He got up in my face and tossed the hose on the ground. “You’re damn right she’s different. She’s not a hoe. Lacey’s a nice girl that’s got enough guy problems. You’re the last thing she ever needed to get involved with. Do the right thing and let it be. Please for the sake of my girlfriend cuttin’ me off forever.  You’re screwin’ with my dick man.”

I scrunched up my face, realizing what needed to be said. The words felt like poison coming out of my mouth. “I like her, Ford.
She’s in my head.”

“Well, you need to stop
thinkin’ about it.”

Chapter 15

I made it into the house before I let my temper fly. My keys were the first thing that I tossed across the room. I was more frustrated than pissed off. Lacey was obviously pissed about sleeping with me, while my cousin was basically threatening me to back off and leave her alone.

I wanted answers and I was determined to get them.

Since Ford was going to be a dick about me calling her, I took it upon myself to find a way to reach her. Social media was the easiest solution and after looking on Sky’s page I was able to find Lacey. I didn’t know how often she checked her messages, but I knew that she’d eventually talk to me.

I thought about what I wanted to say to her. For the most part I wanted to let her know how pissed I was about her avoiding me. Knowing that if I took that approach, she’d
definitely refuse a conversation. Lacey was fragile and unlike earlier with Candace, I needed to be more sensitive.

I typed a short personal message and hit send.