Resurrecting Harry (20 page)

He loved her. Always had. Right or wrong, he’d considered her with every decision he made. Whether or not she or Jaden believed it, it was fact all the same.

Her body tensed in his arms, and the familiar shudder told him more than her words could.        “You don’t need to hide yourself. You can trust me, Bess.”

She pulled back just enough to look up into his eyes. An ache coursed him as she pulled her hand from his back, but her touch didn’t stray long. She laid it against his cheek. “Forgive me, Harry.” Bess whispered and pushed up on her toes, leaning in to kiss Erich.

He drew back. A complete split from Harry’s soul might be impossible, but inviting him into bed with Bess was where Erich drew the line. “Don’t ask him for permission, Bess. Forgive yourself and decide whether or not it’s what you want. I only want this if it’s me you’re with.”

Her eyes flicked side to side as she considered her heart. Certainty came quickly. Her dilated pupils opened the window to her feelings. A slight nod of her head as she moved in to taste his mouth again revealed her decision.

It should have felt familiar, like the thousands of other times Harry had held Bess close, but it didn’t. Erich was a new man, experiencing the love of his life as if it were the first time. His fingers tangled in her tight curls, and he mumbled against her satin-soft lips. “Are you sure? I want you to be sure.”

“It’s been a long time since my body has wanted anyone as much as it wants you.” She cradled his face as her body arched to his.

His hand braced the middle of her spine, and it was as if the air had been sucked from the room. The need throbbing within him made breathing impossible. With her body leaning back in his arms, willing and open, instincts fought to take over, but her physical need wasn’t enough. He had to know this was more than skin-to-skin for her. “Does your heart want this too?”

“It calls to you as if I’ve known you for ages and refuses to be denied any longer. I’ve dreamed of a moment like this since you bumped into me on the street.”

Her confirmation of what he believed left him vulnerable to her. He slid his mouth against her cheeks, whispering. “I belong to you and am yours to have or hurt.”

She slipped from his arms. “What about...I’m old enough—”

He silenced her concern with yet another kiss. “It doesn’t matter. It never mattered.” He stroked her cheek, never breaking eye contact. The tight burning low in his gut begged him to give in to his desires this very moment — on the floor if necessary — before either of them changed their mind.

His desire to treat this woman as his queen, with a tender love and consideration he’d forgone in Harry’s body, pulsed stronger than the carnal burning. Harry had taken so much for granted, and Erich refused to make the same mistakes. If he was getting another life to spend with Bess, she would always know how much he loved her, and never once question his feelings the way she had Harry’s.

Erich squeezed her hand and turned toward the bed, illuminated in the radiant light of the moon penetrating the east window.

A sign from above?

Bess’s arms wrapped around his waist, and he could feel her breath against his shoulder. “I’ve never seen the room like this before.”

He gave his focus to her, laid his palm flat against her shoulder. “You should always be bathed in a Heavenly glow, my angel.”

She leaned into his touch and then moved past him, undoing the buttons that ran down the front of her blouse. As she spun back, it dropped to the floor, followed by her skirt. She stood in her stockings and slip backlit by the cascading light.

He followed her to the edge of the bed, as he would to the ends of the earth, reaching out.  She blocked his impending embrace, guiding him to sit in front of her instead. Pressing each knee on either side of him, she lowered herself carefully to his lap. Trembling fingers worked each button of his shirt. Her eyes never left his as she pulled it from his body and tossed it to the floor.

He danced his fingers all the way down her spine, settling on her hips. Her bottom brushed against his thighs, and passion rolled through him. She pulled the undershirt from his body and then brushed her lips against his neck as she tossed it away.

Bess’s eyes burned with hunger, and he had to bite his lip to control his craving. Tugging and yanking, he soon worked the slip from around her hips, and it joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

Though time seemed to slow to a crawl, it was a blur of caresses and maneuverings that landed him flat on his back in the center of the feather mattress. She hovered over him. His fingers fluttered over her stomach and then slid up, settling on her breasts.

He started to lift himself to her, needing to taste her mouth, but she pressed on his shoulder, keeping him flat. Leaning over, her tongue lingered against his chin. “You shouldn’t be exerting yourself.”

He stroked her hair, not able to break from her warm, loving gaze. “I’m stronger than you think.” As if to prove it, he clutched the back of her neck, holding her still, and then used the force of his body to roll them, landing on top of her. “Stop looking at me as someone younger or as the person you had to nurse back to health. Let me show you the man I am.”

Even though Harry’s life had felt foreign to Erich, Bess’s body was a familiar place, the only Heaven he’d ever know. Even if he sacrificed himself in the end, it would be worth it for this one moment with her.

He left a trail of feather-light kisses from her neck to her full breasts and then concentrated his efforts, his tongue danced against the supple flesh, teasing the tiny bud and relishing her trembles of pleasure. Too many times this woman beneath him hadn’t known Harry’s heart. Erich vowed she’d never doubt his feelings.

Clenching her waist, he drew her to him, teasing her neck with his mouth. The sweet-salt taste of her flesh weakened his resolve and augmented his desire. She stroked his hair and whimpered as he moved lower, finding her most intimate place. Her hips lifted, fueling his arousal. His body begged for gratification, but he’d deny himself until her heard her passionate cries, till she knew again the joy missing from her life in the last eleven months.

Her moans hit his ears a second before her body began to spasm. He tightened his embrace and inched back up her body. He brushed his lips to hers and whispered, “Still think I’m too weak to care for you, Angel?”

She hugged his neck, gripping him tight. Her words came in breathless gasps. “Not...weak...need...you...”

His passionate little hellcat. This part of her, the one she’d only shared with Harry, made him feeble with lust. Never again would she be left wondering or wanting. He ground his pelvis to hers and pushed himself inside her. “Is this what you need?”

The answer came to him in her sensual cries.

Even after Bess had fallen asleep in Erich’s arms, he couldn’t let her go. He held her tight, kissed her forehead and inhaled the scent of her hair. His body had hungered for this since the moment he’d first seen her on the street. His heart never stopped burning for her — even in death. With this second chance at life, he’d cherish every minute gifted him.

“You’ve certainly made a mess of things now.”

Erich glanced toward the booming voice and saw Jaden’s stare focused on the window. A sense of modesty in the omniscient one? Disappointment was more probable.

Erich leaned back against the headboard and slid his hand down Bess’s cheek resting on his lap. “Shhh, she needs to rest.”

“She’ll sleep through the night. Somehow, I don’t think you will.” The usual sarcastic bite in Jaden’s voice was gone. A heaviness coated each and every word. “Getting her into bed changes nothing. Stopping the séance was and still is your goal.”

Erich’s stomach clenched. Couldn’t he have this one moment, before he had to unravel the mess Martin had caused? “From the way you acted when I gave her the message, I thought she’d give it up. We were both wrong.”

Whatever it was that had held Jaden’s glare lost its appeal. He flipped his attention and took two steps toward the bed. Intimidation rolled off his massive frame, and the snipped cadence of his speech signaled he’d grown tired of their banter. “Letting go is her only hope.”

Pulling Bess tighter, Erich let his hand hover just inches above her cheek. Jaden’s outburst should have startled her awake, but she lay still. “She wants to honor Harry. Who am I to tell her no?” He couldn’t meet Jaden’s stare, knew the truth lay in his eyes. Even though agreeing to perform the séance seemed like helping her, it was really the same as putting a nail in both their coffins

“The idea,
Harry
, was for you to make a choice that benefited someone other than yourself!”

Erich had finally accepted that he was a different person than Harry, so why did Jaden choose this moment to recognize the soul instead of the man? More than just another puzzle for Erich to work, this irritated him. Every time he accepted one of Jaden’s truths, the reality was altered. Dare Erich admit that he embraced the man he was now over Harry’s past?

“Two entities,” Jaden responded to Erich silent question. “I speak to the one who clings to Bess’s ultimate demise. And yours too. Don’t forget that if Harry’s spirit is called forth, it will leave your body, and you’ll cease to exist. You may be separate, but your life is still tied to his soul.”

Erich’s head fell forward. Sacrificing himself for her seemed like an easy choice, but knowing that Bess’s pain would continue made it complicated.

“You need to figure out how she can find happiness that isn’t dependent on Harry. In the last couple of days you’ve untangled the man you’ve become from the man you were. I dare say you’ve even learned from some of his mistakes. The real gem would be getting Bess to do the same.”

Jaden vanished into thin air, leaving Erich and Bess alone. Even though he’d been racing against the ticking clock, this time — alone with her — was something to cherish. She’d sleep through the night, and he would spend these hours holding her and praying she would forgive him for refusing to take part in the séance.

***

The very moment Bess opened her eyes, pain throbbed from her chest and spread throughout her body. Nothing new. After thirty-two years of marriage, waking alone had been the hardest thing she’d had to do. Every morning for the last eleven plus months, the first thing she faced was tears pressed against her eyes.

The scent of
him
overpowered her, and she realized instead of Harry, this morning her body ached for Erich. She wrapped her arms around the pillows and resisted the urge to sob. No matter how she sliced it, or tried to dissect it, she couldn’t escape the feelings. Harry had been her whole life; now she longed for another.

The previous night had been a roller coaster of emotions from the moment Harry had used Erich as a vessel right through to her surrender to Erich. Even though her head told her to feel guilty, her heart refused. It was like Erich had told her time and again, Harry wasn’t coming back.

But where had Erich gone?

She slipped out of the bed, straightened the blankets and went to search for him. Checks of the other bedroom, parlor and kitchen turned up empty. In the mudroom, she nearly tripped over Harry’s old rusty tool box now sitting in front of the washing machine. Laying on top of it was a once white rag, covered in soot and smelling like fuel oil. That blasted furnace must have gone out again, and Erich had already fixed it.

She walked out into the morning sun to be bathed by a cool autumn breeze.

Had he left?

There was no way to tell if he’d taken his belongings; he hadn’t arrived with anything of his own. He’d promised to stay by her side and help her out of the mess she’d created with Martin and Gail. Had he changed his mind now that she’d laid down with him? Was that all he’d wanted?

Bess shook off her mind’s ramblings. Erich was different than most. Maybe he had given her reason to doubt him, but she knew he was honorable and trustworthy. In the handful of days they’d spent together, she’d come to count on him. Reassured, Bess retreated to the house and started a pot of coffee. Wherever he’d gone, he’d be back shortly.

She plugged in the peculator and moved toward the table, but the large box sitting by the back door caught her eye. Was it really just yesterday she’d packed up all the trinkets and glamor? Her discussion with Joseph and her resulting emotions felt faraway and distant.

Now, she chuckled at the irony.

She still had no use for the box’s contents. There would be no Tom Foolery at Harry’s show. They didn’t need glitz. They could prove to a doubting world that Harry was the greatest illusionist ever — so skilled he could break the chains of death.

His words, the ones he spoke the night he’d scrawled the code on the paper, flashed through her mind. Her stomach flipped, her legs wobbled and she lowered herself to the chair. Who had she been trying to fool? The bigger-than-life persona defined Harry on the stage. He’d spoke of returning to her, but not because he believed he could. The code was an illusion — a means to protect his legacy. No profiting off his death – that was his sole wish.

But his message had spilled from Erich’s mouth. Harry had done what he didn’t believe in. Shouldn’t she share that with the world? His achievement deserved to be shouted from the mountain tops: Harry defied death to declare his love for her.

Now that was the key. Wasn’t it?

If Harry really wanted the world to hear that declaration, he’d have waited for Halloween and the stage. His words had been a precious gift to her: a comforting embrace to her weeping heart, and her first instinct had been to shine it up and display it to a crowd.

Her desperate need to hang on to Harry had done nothing but dishonor him. She should have been protecting his legacy. Now, with Martin at the helm, it would all become the circus Harry had plotted long and hard to avoid.

Heavy steps sounded on the wooden step. The rattle of the back door caused her breath to catch. Erich was home. She glanced at him as he came into the kitchen. “Where did you run off to this morning?” A silly question. The white box in his hands gave her the answer.

“I wanted to talk to Will and thought I’d bring breakfast back.” He set the box down on the table and hovered over her. She closed her eyes, waiting for his kiss. Seconds later, he fulfilled her expectation, letting his soft lips graze her cheek. “I really hoped I’d make it back before you woke up.”

She clasped her hands together, resting them on her lap. The flames from last night still smoldered between them, and she hungered for his touch and his kiss, but also grappled with decency and decorum. The brazen woman who’d thrown herself at him wasn’t her true nature, and in the bright light of the morning, she wasn’t sure what her next move should be. “Coffee should be ready, let me get some plates and cups.” She started to stand, but his hand pressed down ever-so-gently on her shoulder.

“Sit, Bess. Let me serve you just once. You deserve it after the days you’ve spent caring for me.”

She exhaled and acknowledged his request, relaxing in the chair. Still searching for the words, she fell back on an old cliché. “I think autumn has arrived.”

“It is a beautiful day.”

She caught his gaze as he set a mug and a small plate in front of her. Between that and the inflection of his voice, she could tell he was talking about more than the chill in the air. Her cheeks flushed, but he didn’t seem to notice, and he mirrored the table setting and took the seat to her left.

She picked up the napkin and twisted it in her hands. “I’ve been thinking. Everything got so out of hand last night.”

Erich paled. His gaze dropped as if it were in free fall. “Don’t do this, Bess. Don’t cast away what we shared like it was some sort of mistake.”

Insensitive as it was, she laughed and tossed the napkin to the table. Sliding her finger under his chin, she lifted it. “I didn’t mean
that.
I’ll never regret last night. I meant the argument with Martin and all the threats.”

His chest heaved as he exhaled his fears. He wrapped an arm around her neck and rested his forehead against hers. “I suppose I’m to blame for that.”

“Oh, there’s enough to go around. I let my excitement get the best of me and put myself in a position to let Martin blackmail me. I took what should have been a private moment with Harry and tried to spin it into a publicity stunt.”

“You learned that from the master.”

She pulled back from him. He’d said the words casually but that didn’t make them less true. No, they were dead on. Going for the glitz is exactly what Harry would have done in most situations, but not with this. Not with his good name. “I’m afraid when I tell Martin I’ve changed my mind, he’ll follow through on his threats.”

Erich lifted his face to meet her stare, eyebrows arched and mouth agape. “You’ve changed your mind?”

“Harry gave me what I spent months asking for. We created the code to keep his death from becoming a spectacle. I know this in my heart, but I don’t think Martin is going to just accept it.”

“If you don’t have a séance, it’s your word against his, and Martin’s doesn’t count for much with anyone these days. He can’t prove you were going to recreate or fabricate anything if there is no show.”

Erich was right, but did she have the strength to stick to her decision? “What of Harry’s memory and legacy? It feels wrong to forget it all?”

“You shouldn’t forget. You can honor the intent.” Erich sat very still, staring at the mug of coffee still steaming in front of him. “I let my temper get the best of me last night. Instead of confronting Martin, I should have been focused on protecting you. I’d still go to the ends of the earth to do that.”

It wasn’t the first time Erich had made such a claim, but for some reason, she allowed herself to believe him now. The night they’d shared changed everything. “So we fix it just by saying no. And then face the brunt of Martin’s anger together.”

“For as long as you’ll allow me to, I’ll stand by your side.” His lips curved upward, and his eyes almost sparkled.

A blush warmed her cheeks. Erich’s devotion made her feel like the naive, young girl who’d fallen in love with Harry. Where had that girl gone and why had it taken so long for her to return? The answer was simple. She’d been hardened by life’s experiences and jaded by his death. She’d become a shadow of herself, lost in her pain, until Erich’s light had thawed her heart.

“There’s something I should tell you,” Erich stammered as he dug his hand into his pocket and came back with a necklace. “Will finished fixing this. He wanted me to bring it to you.”

She took it and slid the sterling silver thread through her fingers as if examining every link. “It was an anniversary gift from Harry, you know.”