Retribution (16 page)

“No, I can’t do it. You know what’s happened, right?” She whispered more to herself than her sisters. “I let him in and he’s destroyed me. How did this happen?”

She glanced up and grimaced at the look in her sister’s eyes. Pity.

“You know what’s funny? I’ve only had a couple of conversations with him. We are barely acquaintances, and I feel like I’ve been cheated on again. I wanted him so bad, Hal. How did I build this into something it wasn’t?” she asked, as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

She swiped the offending moisture away.

Hal grabbed her hand and squeezed tight. “He’s a man. Men are dumbasses. Dumbasses don’t think. They do stupid shit instead of what’s right. He’s no different, Sasha. This isn’t about you—it’s about the situation. Please, if you remember nothing else, remember that.”

“No, you’re wrong, little sister. It’s all about me. I think I subconsciously wanted him so badly I made something out of nothing. He rescued me, right? Why shouldn’t I feel strongly toward him?” Sasha groaned.

She was trying to talk herself out of hurting while in the midst of an emotional firestorm. Anger, pain, and need were all commingling to throw her into a deep despair.

“Do you want to have sex with all of the guys from Team12, Sasha? It’s about way more than just rescuer adulation. Please, do me a favor? Don’t think right now, okay? Let’s just try to get through until he leaves, and then we’ll go home, you can sober up, and we’ll talk about it in the morning.” Hal turned toward Kara and Dev and motioned toward the DJ booth.

Sasha couldn’t look away from Dray. His hand was on the woman’s thigh.
It should be my thigh, damn it!
She instinctively shied away from that thought. There was nothing but pain down that road.

Taking her sister’s advice, she pulled her gaze from Dray and peered up at Hal. “You’re right. I’m not going to sit here and act like he’s crushed my heart. He knows, though, Hal. I haven’t been able to hide it from the guys, and I’m sure they’ve told him. What a fool I am, huh? If you can get me through this, Hal, I’ll owe you big time. There will never be a time I won’t come to your rescue. I would anyway, but I’ll owe you a special debt. Just please help me get through it, okay?”

“There are no debts between sisters. I love you and I’ve got you, Sasha. Just follow my lead,” Hal instructed her.

Kara returned to the table with a shot of liquor and set it down in front of Sasha. “Drink up. I didn’t think I’d say this, but the drunker you are the better it will be,” she said firmly. “Just try to keep in mind that I will not clean up your bathroom in the morning, because with as much as you’ve already drank, I’m pretty sure you’ll be vomiting gold bricks instead of shitting them.”

The beat changed and the music flowed into another song.

Startled into laughter, Sasha turned to Hal and said, “You didn’t?”

“But it would appear that I did, sister-mine. Let’s do it. Who’s the man you want tonight?” Hal asked her.

“Your pick. The man I want is otherwise engaged,” she replied with a sardonic twist of her lips before she tossed back the contents of the shot glass Kara had set in front of her. The alcohol burned a path to her gut, easing her clenched muscles and giving her a false bravado. She straightened her spine and refused to look any more in Dray’s direction.

“Oh ho ho! You are so setting yourself up here. Okay. You go on out, and he’ll be in a chair on the middle of the floor waiting for you.” Then she set off to grab the man who would serve as inspiration for Sasha’s dance.

I can do this
. She could play this out and make Dray think she didn’t care he was sitting there killing a piece of her every time he touched another woman. She walked to the edge of the dance floor, and it seemed the sea of people parted just for her.

Sitting in a chair in the middle of the floor was Eric Dole, Ray’s son. He looked at her, grinned lazily, and motioned for her to come closer as he crossed his arms over his chest. She and Eric were the same age. She’d gone to prom with him and then, as she’d gone to Emory, he’d gone into the service. Never anything more than friends, she doubted her ability to carry this off with him. Sure he was good-looking, but for this song surely you needed to have someone you at least could potentially want to have sex with.

For her there was only one man who fit that bill—Dray. Since she couldn’t have him, she’d have to make due with Eric, though she’d probably have to superimpose Dray’s face over his. This sucked ass.

Taking a deep breath, she sauntered onto the floor, feeling the rhythm of the music and pulsing beat. The pulsing beat was electric, the words classic and perfect for this moment.

How much can I give

When you’ve taken it all?

Sasha slowly walked around the chair, drawing her index finger from one of Eric’s shoulders to the other. He stiffened slightly, but the lazy grin never left his face. As the singer sang her love song, Sasha moved in time to the words and tempo; the crowd went wild and screamed for more.

How many times will I watch you leave,

Before I stumble and fall?

Sasha placed herself in front of Eric and sat with one of her legs on either side of his. He made to wrap his arms around her. Instead, she placed them on her hips. Turning and giving a saucy wink to the crowd, she put her hands on his shoulders, lifted herself slightly, and began rotating her hips in time to the beat. He appeared to be enjoying himself, but for Sasha it was torture. She met Hal’s gaze for an instant and felt zinged by the pity in her eyes. Sasha got mad. He wasn’t going to do this to her. If he was still here, she’d give him a glimpse at what he was missing.

The truth is oh-so-simple,

You have always been mine.

The music continued and Sasha turned around, sat back down on Eric’s lap, and ran her own hands up and down her sides and torso, bypassing her breasts but teasing the crowd with a huge “what if”. They screamed encouragement, and she fed their frenetic energy. Eric leaned up and licked the side of her neck, laughing in her ear.

“I knew I missed out on something,” he whispered.

If you’d take what I offer,

We’d both be so fine.

She cocked her neck to the side so Eric could continue. It wasn’t a pleasant sensation, so she imagined it was Dray kissing her neck, and she was able to
not
throw up pure Goldschlager.

Sasha wrapped her arms around his neck and lifted her left leg up and over his lap. She stood up on his right side and cupped his face in a loving gesture before turning her back on him and walking around the edge of the crowd in a seductive gait that radiated pure sex. Still the crowd encouraged her, their gazes and gestures telling her they hoped for more action on the floor.

Returning to Eric’s spot, she stood behind him and ran her fingers through his hair. Closing her eyes, she imagined the locks were auburn instead of black. Anguish pierced her so sharply, she had to inhale deeply and concentrate on the music in an effort to continue.

When I close my eyes, you’re everywhere.

I open them and I meet despair.

She opened her eyes and met a green gaze so full of intensity everything inside her stilled. Like an animal that realizes it has become prey, Sasha inhaled deeply, struggling to draw breath into her lungs.

And then he was there, directly in front of her. As if her dance had drawn him forth, it became for him only. He stood out among all others, and so she let herself have this one moment to show him how much she wanted him. She kept her gaze locked with his as she slowly walked around to Eric’s front, keeping her back to him as he still sat in the chair. Never breaking Dray’s smoldering gaze, she moved sinuously, pleading with her eyes as she danced for him alone, in a club full of people. Still the music carried on.

It hurts, this need, so much inside.

Can you not see how much I adore you?

She dropped down onto her knees, hugging herself and rocking back and forth
.

I’m down on my knees.

I’ll do anything for you.

Closing her eyes once again, she broke his hold on her. She smiled and when she opened them again, as she’d known he would be, he was gone.

The chorus continued. She gave it her best effort, but her heart was shattered, her soul left in pieces. She had pleaded. He had turned around and left anyway.

As the DJ pushed from one song to another, she finished her dance. The crowd begged for an encore, but she kissed Eric on the cheek, and when he tried to pull her toward him, she politely declined and made her way back to her table. She glanced around under the guise of looking for her sisters, but she was really looking for Dray. Then she spotted him and Barbie making their way up the spiral staircase and out of the club.

A big hand cupped her shoulder. “You are so brave, little bit. Maybe one day you’ll find a man who honors you instead of turning away. Don’t ever give up hope, Sasha. Happiness will find you.” Con’s voice was quiet, though rife with emotion. She turned to him and was surprised when he grabbed her up into a strong hug. “You’ll be fine, I promise you. You’re like the sister I’ve never had. You’ll come out of this better than okay,” he vowed.

Irrationally,
she
wanted to soothe
him
. “Thanks, Con. You guys have been great. You go on now, the girls will be here in a minute, and then we’re going to head on home. I’m fine, really.”

His concern almost had her in tears.

“Really, Con, I’m going to be fine. Just let me get home and uninebriated. Is that a word? I’ll sleep it off, you’ll see.”

He looked at her like she was crazy. “We’re all heading out tomorrow. We’ve got a job that’s dropped in our lap. We’ll try to finish soon so we can get back and maybe party with you ladies. I hear Sadie is coming back in a couple of weeks. I’d love to meet her.” He paused and searched her face. “Okay? You’ll be all right?”

No
. She cursed inwardly. She had no way to be certain, but she tried to give him the reassurance he seemed to need. “Yes, I’ll be all right. You guys be careful.”

He turned to leave, and the words were pulled from her. “Take care of him, Con. For me, just take care of him.”

Just that quickly her bravado balloon burst, and she felt a million years old. She giggled. A drunk, million-year-old person was she.

Con looked ready to deny her request, but Hal, Devyn, and Kara walked up and he slowly backed away, leaving her with her sisters. Hal threw daggers at him with her gaze, and when Surrey walked up, she said, “You’ll be at the house in thirty minutes. That gives us time to get home and get her in the bed. You have the answers to my question. If you don’t show up, don’t bother ever coming back to the Bennoit house. It will be closed to all of you.”

Sasha heard her, but let it all float on by.

“Let’s get you home, big sister,” Kara said. Forming a unit around her, they headed up the stairs to leave.

*

Con turned to look at Surrey as the women left. “Think she means it?”

Surrey looked at him like he had lost his mind. “Does Halloran Bennoit ever say anything she doesn’t mean? Hell yes, she means it. You better find out what Dray wants us to tell her before we say something wrong. I hate lying to them, Con, and withholding information like we’ve done is just the same as a lie. You’re gonna have to talk to him, though. I’m pretty pissed right now.”

There were a couple of reasons for him to be angry. Dray had hurt Sasha, and Dray’s stupidity had left them all in a deep, deep hole. Had Hal not been so involved in protecting Sasha, Surrey could’ve seen how the whole ‘bring overage’ thing played out. Hell, there was no justice in the world, and he guessed he’d be left wondering about Hal forever. It made him a very pissed off male.

“I’ll do it. Let’s go round up Itchy and Bleak and get up to their house so we’ll be free to meet up with Dray later on.” Con was already moving to the exit.

Surrey capped his thoughts, said nothing, and followed him.

*

“You okay, man?” Dawn asked Dray. “That was pretty intense, I thought for a minute I was going to have to pull you off the guy Sasha was grinding all over. Guess she really tried to show you, didn’t she?”

Dray’s fists clenched. Ruefully, he acknowledged they’d been doing a helluva lot of that lately. “Lay off, Dawn. It’s none of your business. You fulfilled the op and I thank you for your help, but I don’t need a therapist to talk it out with, all right?”

He ground his teeth together and walked so fast she was having difficulty keeping up with him. His anger was volcanic. He should have found another way to deal with this situation.

Then there was Sasha. How-fucking-dare she move that way on another man? Goddamn, he was in a vicious mood. If Dawn hadn’t literally pulled him away from the floor a few minutes ago, he would have grabbed Sasha and run. The look in her eyes as she had danced, for
him
, had ripped him to shreds. How was he going to survive this? Walking away from her when she was fully within his reach?

The hurt notched in his chest. He probably wouldn’t survive it. He’d just shrivel up and die a miserable, lonely man because Sasha wasn’t likely to give him another chance after tonight. The pain he’d felt that day at the rehab center when she had denied even a remote connection to him was nothing compared to the pain he’d visited on her tonight. His brave little warrior had given it back to him, though.

She’d cut him so deep he would likely never stop bleeding.

“Dray, we need to leave. Head on to the hotel, and we’ll meet up with the guys later. I’m kind of tired, and you need to distance yourself from temptation.” Dawn stated logically.

“You’re right. Let’s go.”

And so he drove away from Sasha, again, leaving her to handle her pain on her own while he tried to find a way to dispose of Dempsey’s threat. It was the single hardest thing he had ever done, but the thought that she was hopefully safer this way helped him to do it.