Retribution Boxed Set (Books One and Two) (34 page)

“Uh-uh. Not that kind of ride.” He grabbed her
hand again and tugged her past Christian’s Mustang. A sexy-looking black
motorcycle sat waiting for them on the other side.

She raised her brows, and he nodded.

“I’ve never ridden a motorcycle,” Janie said,
eyeing the intimidating bike.

Sam grinned. “You’re going to love it.”

“Is it safe? She’d heard of many accidents where
the drivers hadn’t walked away.

“Nothing’s ever guaranteed to be perfectly safe. But
I’m a good driver, and I promise not to go too fast.”

She hesitated. The idea sounded thrilling, but
she still wasn’t sure.

“The way I see it, you can own your life and live
it the way you see fit, or you can hide scared in the house.” Passion flared in
his eyes, and she realized she wanted a taste of that kind of living. Of that
kind of freedom.

“Okay.” A spear of excitement shot through her
now that she’d made up her mind.

Sam grabbed two leather jackets from hooks on the
garage wall. He helped her into one, and she was surprised at how well it fit. “I
get the feeling I’m not the first lady to take this ride with you.”

His brows shot up, and he paused for a moment as
though trying to remember. “Actually, you are.”

She raised her own brows in disbelief. “So, I’m
to believe you have a lady’s leather jacket hanging in your garage, but you’ve
never given a ride to another girl?”

He laughed then. “That’s Nicole’s jacket. She and
Xander take my bike sometimes.”

An odd feeling rushed through her. She’d thought
she’d known Nicole so well, but really, she supposed she hadn’t spent that much
time with her since her friend had gotten engaged. Nicole had been riding bikes
and hanging out with these gorgeous men who apparently had become like her
family, and Janie hadn’t had a clue.

Sam stepped close to her, rubbing his hands up
and down the leather covering her arms. “You’re the first.”

His statement made something clench inside her. A
piece of her she didn’t want reacting to the sexy cop standing before her. She
could handle the lustful feelings that kept cropping up inside her every time
he was near, because those were shallow and related more to the sensuous curve
of his lips and the fire that sparked in his intense brown eyes. But this was
something more, and honestly, it terrified her.

She’d recognized the hole inside her before she’d
ever moved to Oregon. She knew that most people had had someone fill, or at
least partially fill, that spot with some kind of unconditional love. A mother
or father. Boyfriend or girlfriend. Husband or wife. Perhaps her grandma had
given her some, but she’d died when Janie was still pretty young, and Janie had
spent much of her youth looking for someone else to make her feel whole. Or
loved.

That hadn’t happened. It was a vulnerability of
hers. She knew this. Paul had found a way in. Or maybe she’d let him in, even
though she’d sworn to herself no one would have access to that spot inside her
unless she was absolutely, perfectly sure there was a high possibility that
person would truly love her.

Now, it felt like Sam was knocking on that same
door. No, he’d gone past knocking. His charismatic smile and kindness to her
had allowed him to crack it open. She swallowed, not sure how to react.

She opted for a light-hearted laugh. Pushing
things back to flirtation seemed much safer. “I guess this ride will be a first
for both of us then.”

He watched her with a discerning eye as though he
could read her very thoughts. “It will.” There was no doubt there was a hidden
meaning in his words. She just wasn’t sure exactly what he was thinking.

He handed her a helmet and donned his own. “Let
me get the bike outside the garage and shut the door before you get on.”

The garage door lifted with a mechanical sound,
and then Sam walked back to her and the bike. There was something so damn self-assured
about him, and she found herself a little jealous. He
knew
who he was
and where he was going. Personal demons wouldn’t dare enter his life. He’d
strike them down without a second thought.

She could learn something from this man.

He kept his eyes on her as he straddled the bike,
and something about the way he moved made her mouth go dry. Did he know how
attractive he was in his leather, climbing aboard a powerful beast? Was this
what women of the past felt like when they watched a man mount his horse?

Her heart raced faster. She blinked and focused
on the bike instead of the magnetic man who sat astride it. Apparently,
thinking lustful thoughts wasn’t much better than going to that dark place
inside her.

He turned the ignition, and a loud rumble emanated
from the tailpipes. She couldn’t help but smile. Something about the sexy beast
called to her, and suddenly, she couldn’t wait to get on and go riding, nothing
between her and nature.

He revved it again, and she realized he was
watching her reaction. Her grin grew bigger despite the fact that she was
trying not to focus on him. “Like that?” he asked over the noise.

She nodded and stepped closer. She ran a finger
over the leather seat, the texture sensitizing her skin. The dash contained
many gadgets, and overall, the beast appeared as though it would be hard to
handle. “When motorcycles are on the road next to me, they don’t seem so big,”
she said. “Up close is a different story. Is it hard to drive?”

“No.” He searched her face, and she still felt
like they were having a secondary, unspoken conversation.

“Is this one of those Harley bikes? She spotted
the logo as soon as she asked the question. “They’re supposed to be the
coolest.”

He laughed. “I guess it’s time to show you
exactly how cool it is.” He nodded toward the outside driveway, and she made
her way there as he drove the bike out and shut the garage.

The sun shone over the private neighborhood,
giving her glimpses of the upscale homes between the thick trees. Sam revved
the engine again, gaining her attention. He gestured with a nod of his head
that she should join him.

“Hop on,” he said, his eyes flashing.

She looked at the seat, realizing how closely
their bodies would be together on this ride. “Now I know why you wanted to take
the motorcycle.”

“What? He shrugged as though innocent, but his
grin told her otherwise.

“Uh-huh,” she said, holding on to his shoulder as
she swung her leg over the seat. The large expanse of his back was inches from
her, and she was tempted to run her fingers over him to get a feel for his
strength and power. He was more or less nestled between her legs, and shocking
currents of energy vibrated there. She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands,
so she rested them against his sides. Every nerve she had was functioning at high
capacity, sending her senses into overload.

This ride might be more than she could handle
after all. It suddenly occurred to her that the danger might not be from other
drivers, but from the man in front of her.

He gave the bike some gas, causing her to grip
him tighter. She was sure his smile had grown bigger from her response. He’d
said he had to be careful being so near to her because he wanted more, and yet,
he’d more or less locked them in a cage of freedom. They might be able to go
wherever they wanted on the bike, but they wouldn’t get far from each other.

As they drew closer to the downtown streets of
Portland, traffic increased, making her more nervous. Bumps in the road inched
her closer to Sam, and the need to stay safe caused her to hold on tighter. The
next thing she knew, there was no space between them at all.

She didn’t care. The wind rushed past her, silent
fingers of air plucking her cares from her and tossing them by the wayside. The
sun coursed down on them, washing them in its brightness, and suddenly, all
seemed right with the world. Months of fear and worry peeled away, leaving
nothing but the essence of who she really was.

A good person. Deep down, a happy person despite
the anguish she’d experienced in her life. A cook. A lover.

The last thought made her pause. Yes, a lover. Someone
who wanted that deep connection with another being. And she’d find it. She
couldn’t be afraid to look. Somehow she’d have to find a way to trust herself
enough to explore that area. Otherwise, she’d be alone with her empty, dark
space for the rest of her days. She didn’t want that. She wanted to be loved,
to experience joy in all facets of her life.

The busy streets of Portland soon turned to
quieter suburbs. Houses grew farther apart as they headed east, and greenery
began to replace buildings. The air turned cooler, fresher. She loosened her
hold on Sam as she began to relax, but he placed a hand over hers for a quick
second before she could slip farther away.

The gesture made her smile. He liked having her
near. She liked being near. Maybe that’s all she needed to worry about for the
time being. Most people without her vulnerability would react that way. Perhaps
she needed to pretend she didn’t feel so empty, and in time, the space would be
filled without her having to worry so much.

The thought made her relax even more. One day at
a time. One moment at a time. If she searched for moments like these, she’d be
fine. No need to live life so scared. She closed her eyes, tuning into the feel
of cradling Sam between her legs and the invisible energy that raced between
them. She searched for any of those odd little feelings she’d had with Paul
that she’d dismissed because she’d wanted him to love her. Those same feelings
that hindsight told her she should have been aware of.

There was nothing. For now, all was well.

They’d gone pretty much in a straight line for a
while when suddenly the road turned, and the Sandy River became their traveling
companion. Janie caught glimpses of the shimmering water between the trees, and
when Sam turned onto the bridge that crossed the river, he slowed so they could
both catch the view.

As they continued east along the Historic
Columbia River Highway, sunlight dappled the curving road ahead of them. Janie
had visited this area several times since moving to Portland. Viewing Multnomah
Falls for the first time had stolen her breath. But she’d never viewed the
splendor of the area from this vantage point. Instead of cruising by while
glancing out a car window, she was actually part of her surroundings. It had a
whole different feel.

An hour or so into their ride, Sam pulled into the
small town of Cascade Locks. The town was so tiny, she could almost see one end
of it from the other. The mighty Columbia River rushed by to the north while
hills and mountains climbed on the south side. The residents of Cascade Locks
had carved out a space in between.

Sam slowed, swung around, and then parked on the
north side of the road along a grassy area. Ahead of them, people crowded in a line
in front of a small building. He shut off the engine and climbed off the bike,
offering a hand to her.

She took it and climbed off, her legs feeling a
little stiff. He removed his helmet, so she did the same.

“I missed lunch. Do you mind if we grab something?
This place has killer hamburgers and fries.” He narrowed his gaze. “Unless the
food might insult your refined tastes since you’re a chef and all.”

“Are you kidding? I adore a good hamburger.”

He smiled, seeming pleased with her answer. “Good.
I found this place as a teenager. The first time I took off on a bike on my
own, to be exact. I’ve been coming here ever since when I need to escape. We’ll
grab our food and eat next door.”

They chose one of the few tables scattered across
a grassy area next to the restaurant and sat with their burgers and fries. From
her vantage point, she could see the Columbia beyond Sam’s shoulder.

“Are you having fun?” Sam asked before sinking
his teeth into his burger.

“The best time. Thank you for bringing me. I
really did need to get out of the house.”

“Yeah. Life’s been a bit of a bitch for both of
us lately. You more than me, but still.”

“Your job?” she prompted.

He studied her for a moment before speaking. “I
probably shouldn’t tell you this. Confidential police info and all that.” He
sighed, the stress of his job showing in the telltale lines feathering out from
his eyes. “I think we have a mole.”

“A mole? Like a traitor or something?”

“There’s been a few odd things happening. People
gaining information that they shouldn’t have. Other times, things come up
missing.”

She swallowed her french fry and took a sip of
cola. “That sounds bad. What do you do now?”

“It is bad. A complete pain in my ass. I wish I
could figure out who and get him or her the hell out of there. Work is hard
enough without someone compromising cases.”

“Have you thought about setting up a sting? They
do that in the movies all the time.”

“Internal affairs has tried it a couple of times
with some of the guys I think
might
be capable of it. That’s such a
tough call though. They are people I work with every day. People I trust my
life with, you know? The thought that one might not be above board is difficult
to swallow.”

“I know what you mean. Trust is a hard thing to
gain and even harder to let go because by the time you realize you need to let
go, you’ve invested some of yourself in that person.”

She glanced at him and realized he was staring at
her.

“That’s exactly right.”

She knew that all too well.

“Is that why you stayed with Castell?”

“Maybe. In the beginning. After that, it was just
fear.”

“I watched my sister deal with something
similar.”

Her gaze jumped to his, but he looked off into
the distance as though watching the few cars that passed. The look of heartbreak
twisting his features broke hers. He blinked and then focused on her. “That’s
how I met Hunter, how I became involved with this group of guys.”

The fact that he was talking about his group of
“friends” surprised her. She’d been hesitant to ask him again, but him speaking
of them seemed to imply that she and Sam had gained a level of trust with each
other. A warm feeling trickled down through her heart. “What happened? Hunter
wasn’t hurting her, was he?”