Retribution (SSU Trilogy Book 3) (The Surgical Strike Unit) (19 page)

She pressed the DVD player’s remote control and an image of Rafe carrying her to his bed played across the screen. “See that?” she asked Ryker. “Look at his face. Notice how his expression changes. It goes from confusion, to something almost protective. Then here,” she pointed to Rafe trying to fight through the security team. “He’s trying to get to me. Listen to what he says. ‘Mine.’”

She played the clip twice more before shutting the DVD off. “I got through to him, sir,” Gabby insisted. “Just as I speculated, I believe my scent broke through his conditioning. The video clearly shows him pressing his nose to my neck, then calming.”

Beside her, Dr. Winthrop snorted in derision. “Andros nearly killed you,” he pointed out. “He was too enraged to notice any such thing. What Andros needs is to be left alone. He’s like a wild animal. Dangerous to anyone who approaches him. We’ll have to keep him tranquilized during all future sample extraction until he’s calmed down. I consider him too dangerous to allow his cognitive team or the physical therapists in the same room with him. Until you have a formula to eradicate his rage, he’s just too much of a threat.”

Kai’s eyes narrowed in speculation as he replayed the DVD.

Gabby turned her body toward Ryker. “Sir, I disagree. Rafe needs more human contact, not less. How else is he ever going to accept that his friends and family aren’t the threats his conditioning claimed? What’s more,” she shot Dr. Winthrop a glare, “he needs to be treated with kindness and respect. Not called an animal, and particularly not when he can hear it!”

She paused and took a long sip of hot tea with honey to soothe her throat.

“I believe we can safely build up his tolerance to visitors. I’m not proposing that I go inside Rafe’s room again just yet. What I want is five minutes a day with him. Five minutes on the other side of the window, while the cherry vanilla scent from my body lotion is piped into his room.” God, how embarrassing. Everyone in the meeting knew the scent was a possible trigger because she’d been wearing it when she made love to Rafe.

Hoping none of the men noticed the way her cheeks heated, Gabby leaned forward and braced her hands on the surface of the conference room table.

“Let’s give Rafe a chance to get desensitized to my presence,” she suggested. “You’ve seen the follow-up video. He’s been calm since he woke up from the tranquilizer.” Calm only because he’d still been fighting off the heavy dose of sedative. Yet Gabby had seen on the video the sheer panic on Rafe’s face when he’d realized he was fully restrained on his bed.

Not for the first time, she wished Dr. Lydia Tredmath wasn’t out on maternity leave. Gabby had met the head of the SSU’s PTSD unit briefly right after her arrival at the compound in Oregon, and she’d found the woman both knowledgeable and compassionate.

Dr. Winthrop was on loan from the local Veterans Affairs hospital, but Gabby found his knowledge out-of-date and his compassion non-existent. She wanted him removed from the program altogether.

“Perhaps later, once he has his temper under control,” Dr. Winthrop scoffed. “Right now, he needs to be isolated. He needs to know that acts of violence won’t be tolerated.”

Gabby gritted her teeth and took a deep, calming breath before answering. “Dr. Winthrop, Rafe’s bursts of temper are not something he has control over. They are a direct result of the chemicals he’s been given. Chemicals that are deeply integrated into his system. Until we find an effective counteragent, he will continue to go into rages.” Even then, she didn’t know if they could completely scrub Rafe’s system. The new formula Kaufmann had used on Rafe had been absorbed into his system quicker, making the chemicals bond more deeply than with Nate. She’d tweaked her drugs since they’d given the first batch to Rafe, but each new formula meant using Rafe as a guinea pig. Testing her chemicals against Rafe’s blood and tissue samples didn’t necessarily translate into the reaction she wanted when injected into his system.

Which was why the sedative used in Rafe’s food hadn’t kept him calm. Blood samples taken after the attack had shown that one of the compounds from Kaufmann’s drug had unexpectedly helped Rafe’s body metabolize the sedative much more rapidly than expected.

She hated not knowing what side effects Rafe might experience, but given the fast deterioration of Kaufmann’s subjects, they didn’t have any choice but to give Rafe each new formula as soon as she created it and hope for the best.

“Kai, what’s your opinion?” Ryker asked.

Kai’s unusual amber eyes touched briefly on first Dr. Winthrop, then Gabby. As usual, she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. No wonder Ryker had used him for undercover work.

But one thing she was certain of, Kai loved Rafe like a brother. He’d forgiven Rafe for nearly killing him a couple weeks ago because he knew Rafe had acted under orders he couldn’t disobey. Kai’s story of how Rafe had attacked him in the Amazon jungle still gave Gabby chills, yet it didn’t stop the man from working his butt off to save Rafe.

After Niko, Gabby knew that Kai was one of Rafe’s closest friends. A part of her felt guilty because she’d been the first to go face-to-face with Rafe instead of Kai. Yet Rafe continued to react more aggressively toward men than women.

She just hoped Kai agreed that Dr. Winthrop was off base in his assessment of Rafe. She desperately wanted to open her mouth and make further points to her argument, but she sensed that would only make her appear desperate. So she waited for Kai to respond, forcing herself to breathe normally.

Kai switched the video to a shot of Rafe in his room earlier that morning. “What’s Rafe holding?”

Gabby leaned forward. Rafe sat on his bed, clutching something to his chest as he rocked slowly back and forth. “I think…” She slanted her head to the side and squinted. “Um, I think that’s the stuffed animal he gave me the morning he left. I…ah…had it in my pocket as a good luck token and it must have fallen out when he picked me up. I’ve been wondering where I dropped it.” Watching Rafe cradle the teddy bear like it was precious to him had Gabby biting her lip to hold back tears.

“I think we should give Gabby’s idea a shot,” Kai finally said.

Yes!

“That’s—” Winthrop began.

“I agree with Kai and Gabby,” Ryker interrupted. “Rafe needs to get reacquainted with his friends. The ties to a lover are both physical and mental, so Gabby has a stronger chance of being accepted by him.”

“Sir, I must protest! As head of the psychiatric team, I think you’re making a grave mistake.” Dr. Winthrop pushed past Gabby so he was closer to the video camera, as if the illusion of proximity would give him more clout with Ryker.

“Kai, work with Gabby to set up a viewing as soon as possible,” Ryker said, looking past Dr. Winthrop. “Kai, you and Gabby are dismissed. Dr. Winthrop, please stay.”

Gabby wanted to skip out of the room. Whether it was the victory over that pompous ass, Winthrop, or just the thought that she’d get to see Rafe again, she didn’t know.

“Gabby, you know this might backfire,” Kai warned as they walked down the hall.

“I know.” Then she shook her head. “But I won’t give up. He needs us, Kai. You, me, Niko and Jenna. He needs friends, not just scientists. If he reacts violently, then we’ll back off for a few days and try again.”

Kai shot her a speculative look. Then he smiled. “Rafe’s damn lucky to have you on his side.”

Gabby thought that may have been the nicest thing anyone ever said to her.

G
abby felt like she was six again, heading up the sidewalk to the school door on the first day of kindergarten. Butterflies danced in her stomach and her mouth was so dry she thought she could drink gallons of water and never feel hydrated.

But instead of the faded brick of her elementary school, Gabby stood in front of the observation window at Rafe’s room. The drapes were closed, shielding Rafe from seeing her. But the security monitor to the left of the door showed his reaction to the scent of cherry vanilla that had been flooding his room for the past ten minutes.

He’d gone on alert when they’d started piping in the new smell. His head had swiveled, checking the entrance and potential hiding places for signs he wasn’t alone. He’d paced around the room. At first he’d seemed agitated, then he’d seemed confused.

Finally, he’d sunk into an armchair and put his head in his hands. She wished she knew if he had a headache, or if he was trying to block out her scent.

But this seemed as good a time as any to reveal her presence.

She nodded. Kai, who stood out of Rafe’s line of sight in front of the security monitor, gave her a thumbs up and pushed the button to open the drapes.

Gabby had to force herself to appear relaxed despite her nerves. She’d dressed carefully for this, as if it was their first date. Because it was important that she trigger good memories in him tonight, she’d almost decided to wear her robe, since that’s what she’d had on the night they’d made love. But in the end she’d gone with a simple t-shirt and jeans.

Rafe’s head raised as the drapes swooshed open. When he noticed her, he surged to his feet. His eyes narrowed like a hunter spotting its prey and he took one aggressive step toward her. Then he stopped and his hands pressed against the sides of his head. She thought she heard him growl, although he was a bit too far away from the mic on his side of the window for her to be certain.

“Rafe, are you in pain?” This wasn’t how she’d wanted to open this meeting, but from the way Rafe was shaking his head back and forth, and from the tension screaming from his taut body, something was wrong.

“Rafe, does your head hurt?” He understood language—the cognitive specialists had confirmed that. And they believed his brain was starting to process more complex commands even though his speech remained simplistic.

“Hurt. No hurt. G…G… Hurt. No hurt…G…Ga…” He lifted his head and met her gaze.

God, the torment in his eyes! It took all her control not to cry out or show Rafe how much his pain upset her.

She signaled for Kai to shut off the mic from her side and moved out of Rafe’s view. “Hurt, no hurt? Kai, he could be experiencing some sort of intermittent pain. Should we abort?”

“No hurt, G-Gab—!” Rafe’s anguished cry drew Gabby back to the window in time to see him charging toward her. She couldn’t stop herself from backing up a step. But then she realized he was panicked, not violent, and she held her ground.

When he saw she was back, he stopped running. Instead, he walked almost tentatively toward the window. “No hurt…G-Gab-by,” he said.

Tears sprang to her eyes and her knees threatened to give out. He remembered her! She signaled for Kai to turn on her mic. “That’s right, Rafe. My name is Gabby. I won’t hurt you.”

He shook his head and his mouth firmed into a stubborn line as he poked himself in the chest. “Me…no hurt…” He pointed to her. “No hurt Gab-by.” He reached out and pressed his palm against the window with such a look of wary hopefulness it broke her heart.

Before he lost the ability to fully communicate, Rafe had told Niko that Kaufmann had tried to brainwash Rafe into thinking his family and friends were enemies. Yet only one week out from any contact with Kaufmann and his team, Rafe was reaching for her without rage.

She mirrored his gesture, pressing her palm to the cold glass opposite his. Wanting so desperately to go into his room and feel his skin warm and alive against hers, yet knowing she didn’t dare risk it. Not yet.

But soon, she promised herself. Very soon.

His eyes searched hers almost desperately and although she didn’t see full recognition from him, there was an alertness that let her know some memory beside her name had punched through whatever noise filled his head.

“Rafe, do you remember who I am? Gabby Montague. I’m one of the doctors who was working on your teammate, Nate.”

Rafe’s eyes widened and he leapt back from the window in fear. “White…coat… No!” He slammed the sides of his fists against his temples, then dropped to his knees.

“Rafe!” Gabby shot a terrified look toward Kai. “What’s going on?”

“No…hurts…white coat…hurts. Go ‘way!” Rafe had his arms around his chest now, hunched over and rocking in pain.

Gabby signaled for Kai to close the drapes and shut off the mic. She joined him at the monitor, watching as Rafe collapsed into a fetal position.
Oh, God, he was in such pain. Why had she thought this would be a good idea?

He’s so alone.

Right.

“It was my mentioning that I’m a doctor that triggered his panic, wasn’t it,” she said quietly.

“Yeah, I think so.” Kai put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up. We’re all new at this, Gabby. We’re going to make mistakes. Look.” He nodded toward the monitor. “He’s calming down. Next time we’ll be more careful.”

She nodded, appreciating the way he said “we” when he could have heaped the blame on her. Then it struck her what else he’d said.

She swung her head around. “Next time? You mean—?”

“Yeah.” His eyes warmed. “Rafe remembered your name. And he was the calmest he’s been when faced with someone from his past. I’m definitely going to recommend to Ryker that we keep going.”

“Thank you.” She met his gaze and warmed as Kai nodded in understanding. He knew she’d try to help Rafe any way she could, even if Ryker prohibited her from seeing Rafe. But she felt confident Kai would convince Ryker to let her continue.

Now she only had to deal with Dr. Winthrop.

“Oh, by the
way,” Kai added. “Ryker sent Dr. Winthrop back to the VA hospital. It’s just you and me in charge until he can find a replacement he trusts.”

Gabby let her lips curl in just the hint of a satisfied smile. Anything more would be unprofessional.

But she really wanted to pump her fist in the air in victory.

“Come on,” Kai said. “The cafeteria is still open. I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.”

Gabby took one last loo
k at Rafe curled on the floor. “You know,” she said slowly as they turned to leave. “It might be worth a shot to have an expert on autism work with him for a while. There’s a woman I know. She’s very knowledgeable and highly compassionate.”