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She thought about Cole. She and her little boy were close now, and that was Landon’s doing, too. His reminder that her son was the good that had come from Paris helped Ashley change her mind-set about her past. These days she enjoyed Cole so much, she’d even considered bringing him on the trip. But Manhattan was no place for a little boy, not when Ashley had business to do.

A yawn slipped, and she closed her eyes. She’d gotten up at three this morning to catch her flight, and a nap would be wonderful. She stared out the window at the distant, towering clouds. Who was she kidding? Sleep wasn’t even a tiny possibility, not with her body trembling in anticipation. Not because she was about to realize a lifelong dream.

But because she was going to share it all with Landon Blake.

T
HE PAST TEN DAYS
had been one miracle after another.

Reagan had brought Thomas Luke home four days after delivering him, and though it took another few days before she was able to get around, she was savoring every moment with him. The nickname she’d given him in the hospital stuck: Tommy. It suited him, now that she’d gotten to know him.

She woke up that morning feeling better than she had all week, and that’s when the idea hit her. She called Landon at the fire station and asked if he could take a break late that afternoon.

“Sure.” Landon’s voice was kind, the way it was every time she’d talked to him since Tommy was born. “What’s up?”

“It’s a beautiful day, summer feels like it’s here, and my baby hasn’t had a walk in Central Park yet.” She paused. “Wanna go?”

“Sure.” She could sense Landon’s smile over the phone lines. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

They planned to meet at five o’clock, Landon’s lunch hour. She would bring Tommy’s fold-up stroller, and they’d walk as far into the park as Reagan could handle. Her abdomen was still sore, but the doctor had cleared her for walking. As long as she didn’t overdo it.

“Reagan, are you sure you want to go?” Her mother came around the corner and anchored her hands on her hips. “The baby’s not even two weeks old.”

“It’s eighty-eight degrees out, Mother.” She dressed her tiny son in a blue, one-piece, terry-cloth outfit and wrapped a lightweight flannel blanket around him. “I’ll be with Landon; we’ll be fine.”

“I could come to help with the baby.”

“No, Mother.” Reagan smiled. “I’m fine by myself.”

Over the course of her pregnancy, she’d watched mothers with newborns and wondered how she’d feel when they placed her infant in her arms. Nervous and unsure, she figured. Afraid she’d drop the baby or hurt him with some kind of clumsy move. But now that she had Tommy, now that she’d cared for him and cradled him and sung to him practically around the clock for the past week and a half, she was more at ease than she’d ever thought possible.

The only thing more natural than being with her newborn son would have been sharing the experience with Luke. But that was out of the question, and now that her initial adjustment to motherhood had begun, she tried not to think about him as much.

Her mother sighed and dropped to the closest chair. “It’s strange, Reagan, watching you with a baby, knowing you’re in charge of him.” Her light chuckle drew a smile from Reagan. “I guess I don’t quite feel like a grandma yet.”

Reagan crossed the room, Tommy nestled in the crook of her arm, and kissed her mother on the forehead. “We’ll be fine. Thanks for worrying.” She straightened and gave her mother another smile. “It makes me feel loved.”

“Don’t ever doubt that.” Her mom reached out and took hold of Reagan’s wrist. “Be careful, honey. I mean it. The city’s a dangerous place.”

Until the moment she left the apartment, Reagan kept up the dialogue, assuring her mother that they’d be fine. She carried Tommy down the elevator in a portable car seat, which would snap into the stroller frame once they arrived at Landon’s station. Over her shoulder she had a diaper bag with more than enough baby supplies.

The bag was a gift from Landon, blue with tiny firefighter helmets on it. Reagan was glad for the chance to use it now, so he could see how much she appreciated it. She hailed a cab and struggled to buckle the car seat in, while the driver put the stroller in the trunk. After a minute or so she figured it out, then slid in beside her baby. She gave directions to the cabdriver and let her gaze settle on her tiny son.

He was sleeping, his fists tight, arms stretched out by his sides. How much easier these early days as a mother had been because of Landon. Though her mother was available to help her with the practical part of mothering an infant, Landon was there to hear her heart. He was the friend she’d needed, and she thanked God often for his recent part in her life.

The cab pulled away and headed south toward Landon’s station. Sometimes she wondered if she felt more than friendship for him. Whenever her thoughts veered in that direction, she always steered them straight again. Landon belonged to Ashley, and he always would. He talked about her enough to make that clear. Besides, it wasn’t Landon she longed for. She enjoyed his company, enjoyed calling him at the station and chatting with him between his calls. Being with him, talking to him, reminded her of Bloomington and made her ache for that time in her life.

But Landon, as good as he was, wasn’t Luke Baxter.

She looked out the window and caught a street sign. Five more blocks and they’d be there. Her eyes found Tommy again and her heart sank a notch. No, it wasn’t Landon Blake she wanted. Not hardly. It was Luke…the way he used to be.

Sometimes her desire to call him and tell him about the baby was so strong she had to sit on her hands to keep from dialing his parents’ number. But usually the feeling was fleeting. Luke had changed. He was no longer the boy she’d known and loved, and so she never gave in to her feelings. Deep in her heart she knew she never would.

Because of that, Landon’s friendship was a welcome diversion, a way of passing the time and knowing that someday she would connect again with a man. Someone kind and gentle, a man of faith with a deep love for little Tommy. Someone God himself would bring into her life.

And until then, she had this. Friendship with a man who neither judged nor threatened her. A man who had kept his promise by not telling the Baxters about her baby. All of which was more than she could’ve hoped for.

The cab pulled up in front of Landon’s station, and she set about the ordeal of getting out and assembling the stroller. The instructions had shown that if she pressed a red lever, the frame would pop into place. Instead, something was stuck. With Tommy still buckled into the backseat and the driver glancing at his watch in the front, Reagan pushed the lever three times and then banged the stroller wheels on the ground.

Her veins felt hot with the rush of adrenaline.

The stroller had worked back at the apartment when Reagan practiced with it. But now…her mother was right; she shouldn’t have taken this first trip without someone to help her. Now her baby was alone with the cabbie, and at any minute the man could take off. She’d never see her baby again, and there’d be no time to get the license-plate number, no way of knowing who the driver was or where he’d gone with her son—

Reagan’s heart pounded, and she considered jerking Tommy out and setting his carrier on the sidewalk. But what if the cab pulled away and someone ran up and grabbed her baby? Wild thoughts shot across her heart and fell in an irrational heap.

She was about to flag down a stranger when she felt someone behind her.

“Need help?” Landon smiled and reached out for the stroller frame. “I saw you pull up.”

Of course. Why hadn’t she realized that? She was just a few yards from the front of the fire station. She exhaled and tried to still her shaking hands. “I…I was about to give up.” Reagan’s cheeks were hot from the panicky moment. “I still have a lot to learn.”

“One of the guys at the station has this kind for his baby. It’s easy…watch.” He gave the frame a quick jolt as he pressed the red lever with the toe of his work boot. The stroller snapped open and locked into place. “Voilà!”

“Show-off.” She laughed as she paid the driver.

Landon unbuckled Tommy’s car seat from the cab and popped the carrier into the stroller frame. He took the diaper bag from Reagan and nodded at it. “Nice choice on the bag.”

The muscles at the base of Reagan’s neck relaxed. “It’s Tommy’s favorite.”

“Tommy
, huh?”

“Yep.” Reagan came up alongside Landon and stared at her still-sleeping son. “He can be Thomas Luke when he’s older. Right now he looks like a Tommy, don’t you think?”

Landon studied the baby for a moment and grinned. “Actually, now that you say it, he does.”

Reagan drew a settling breath, and her heart rate returned to normal. She’d read a dozen books about parenting a newborn, but all of them referred to the job as a partnership. Teamwork. The way a pitcher and a catcher worked together in a softball game. One parent doing the feeding, the other restocking diapers; one parent getting the car seat from the cab, the other opening the stroller. Her anxiety from a moment ago reminded her how much she had yet to learn about
single
parenting.

She hugged her arms around her waist and shrugged at Landon. “You ready?”

“Not yet.” He motioned his head toward the fire station. “I need to check out.”

Reagan followed him into the station. A few firefighters were playing cards at a beat-up picnic table in the middle of the room. She held up her hand and flashed them an easy smile. As much time as she’d spent on an athletic field, she was always comfortable around a roomful of guys. “Hi.”

Landon pushed the stroller up to the table. “Guys, this is Reagan.” He tilted his head toward her.

Each of them lowered his cards and nodded at her. One of the guys stood and held out his hand. “I’m Doug, Landon’s partner.”

“Hi.” For a fraction of a moment she wondered if the guys thought she was Landon’s girl. It almost seemed they were seeing if she measured up.

“Cute baby.” Doug peered over the table and into the stroller. Then he raised an eyebrow and shot a look at Landon. “You know this little guy?”

“Yep.” Landon reached into the stroller and ran his finger over the baby’s blond eyebrows. “This is little Tommy.” He put his arm around Reagan and gave her a side hug. “We worked on Reagan the other night.”

“Oh, the one who calls here sometimes.” A knowing expression filled Doug’s eyes. “You two were, uh, friends back in Indiana, right?”

“Right.” Reagan smiled again, but this time she was certain Landon’s partner had the wrong idea about the two of them. She took a few seconds to replay the conversation in her mind. Maybe she’d imagined the implication in the firefighter’s voice. After her little freak-out by the cab, anything was possible. She swallowed her concerns and turned to Landon. “Ready?”

He glanced at the guys. “We’re taking a walk in the park.” He pulled the stroller back from the table and turned it toward the front door. “I’ll have the pager if you need me.”

Doug nodded. “Okay. Take care of your little guy there.”

Reagan took a step toward Landon and stopped.
Your little guy?
Thomas Luke was
not
Landon’s little guy. Reagan started to say something, to assure the guys at the station that the baby was hers alone, but she stopped. What would it hurt, just this once? To pretend she actually had a Landon Blake of her own, someone to admire her baby and help her with the stroller and take walks with her?

Besides, the last thing Reagan wanted to imply was that Landon didn’t matter to them. She sighed, fell in place beside him, and headed toward the park. The whole notion was probably just her crazy imagination.

That, and a case of hormones gone wild.

A
SHLEY ARRIVED AT THE
fire station at ten minutes after five. She’d checked into her hotel and left two of her paintings in the room. It was a simple place with a partial courtyard view in the Chelsea area, far from the heartbeat of the city. But it might as well have been a penthouse suite overlooking Central Park.

She’d finally arrived, finally been given the chance to showcase her art in a Manhattan gallery. And now she was about to show Landon the piece she’d painted of him at Ground Zero. She could already feel his arms around her, sense his glowing approval of her newest work. She couldn’t wait to breathe in his excitement when he learned that her artwork would be sold right there in the city.

The cab stopped half a block from Landon’s station. She wanted to walk the last fifty yards, take a few moments to inhale the city’s life and passion and energy, soak it in so she could believe it. She climbed out of the cab and caught a glimpse of the sun through the trees and tall buildings. The day was perfect, warm and breezy, without the humidity that was bound to come in the next few months.

She used careful hands to lift the oversized leather art case from the trunk of the cab. Then she paid the driver and positioned herself square in the middle of the sidewalk. She was here; she really was. In the case was the painting of Landon, and in her heart, the chance of a lifetime.

Should she throw her arms out and twirl around, shouting her thanks to the heavens, letting anyone who saw her know that this was a moment she’d waited for her whole life? Ashley made a partial turn and saw the busy, distracted looks on the faces of most people. No, she’d keep the moment private, a celebration between her and God. And, in a few minutes, Landon.

Her skirt fell almost to her ankles, and her cotton tank top left her bare arms goose-bumped from the thrill of it. She fairly floated to the station, stopping just outside. It was a simple brick building, older than most around it, but it was the place where Landon had worked that past year, the place where Jalen had worked.

For a moment her enthusiasm dimmed.

The men she was about to meet had suffered much this past year. She would do well to keep her excitement contained, at least at first. Her fingers wrapped more tightly around the handles of her leather portfolio, and she drew in a slow breath.
Okay, God, lead the way. Let me know if Landon’s been missing me the way I’ve missed him.

She pushed open the door and saw half a dozen uniformed men playing cards at a picnic table. Almost at the same time, she caught a row of framed portraits of firefighters along one wall. Each of them contained a name and two dates.

One of them had to be Jalen. Ashley wondered which one.

A man at the table cleared his throat, stood, and gave her an approving smile. “Hello. Can we help you?” His tone suggested he was more than willing.

She flashed them a grin and positioned her case in front of her. “Yes. I’m looking for Landon Blake.”

“Uh…” He shot a confused look at two men beside him. “He’s taking a walk.”

Across the table, a stocky firefighter looked over his shoulder. “You just missed him. They were pushing a stroller, headed for the park.”

The first man kicked his stocky colleague under the table and frowned at him. Then he caught Ashley’s eyes again and forced a smile. “You got an appointment with him?”

Ashley set the portfolio down on the floor and let it fall against her legs. What in the world were they talking about? Landon was on a walk with a baby? Whose baby? “Landon’s out walking a baby?”

The men at the table exchanged a series of uneasy glances. The first firefighter stepped away from the others and approached Ashley. “The girl’s his friend.” The man shrugged, and something in his eyes all but shouted pity. “She came with the baby, and they…they went to the park. He was pushing the stroller.” A tension-packed pause pierced the moment. “He’ll be back in half an hour.”

“What girl?” Ashley’s head spun, and she ran her tongue along the inside of her lips. Landon—
her
Landon—was walking in the park with a girl and her baby? Whatever for? And how come Landon hadn’t mentioned his friend to her? Nausea closed in around her. Was she going to have to excuse herself and find a bathroom? The surprise was going all wrong, and so far none of what the man was saying made sense.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and gave a few quick shakes of her head. “Has…has she been here before?” Ashley hated herself for asking, but she couldn’t catch her breath until she knew what this craziness was about. When was Landon going to come bounding around the corner, sweep her into his arms, and kiss her the way she’d been dying to be kissed since their last time together?

The man took a step back toward the men at the table and shot them a nervous look. “She’s called, right, guys?”

A few of them nodded.

“Definitely,” one of them said. “Almost every day.”

The man on his feet looked at Ashley again. “This was her first visit to the station.” He crossed his arms. “The baby’s young, a few weeks old.”

Her stomach pain doubled. A few weeks old? That couldn’t mean that…Landon never would’ve…her thoughts wouldn’t stay together, and the floor beneath her felt like quicksand.

Before she could ask another question, the man held out his hand. “I’m Landon’s partner, Doug.” He hesitated. “And you’re…?”

She found her voice and tried to still her trembling fingers. “Ashley.” She gave the man’s hand a delicate shake and then took a step backward. This was the moment when Doug’s eyes were supposed to light up in recognition, the time when he should’ve put his arm on her shoulder and grinned at her, told her that he’d heard so much about her and had always wanted to meet her.

But instead he only stared at her, his expression a mix of sympathy and interest. Ashley shifted her gaze to the others at the table, but they’d resumed their card game. Not one of them acted as if they’d ever heard of her. She swallowed hard and managed a quiet, disbelieving laugh. “I…I don’t mean to pry, but whose baby are we talking about?”

The dark shadow that fell over the man’s eyes told her everything she needed to know. She wanted to run, tear out of the building before this…this partner of Landon’s could voice the truth. But she was stuck, her feet frozen in place. Her question had placed her in front of a firing squad, and now she could do nothing but wait for the bullets.

Doug lowered his brow and pursed his lips. He exhaled and gave a single sideways nod of his head. “I…I don’t think Landon knew about him until we made the call.”

“The call?” She was buying time, desperate for some logical answer.

“The young woman nearly died. She began to bleed, and we answered the call. Landon knew her, and, well, he didn’t say much but I got the feeling the two of them were close.”

“And that’s when he found out about the baby?”

“That’s what he said.”

The pieces didn’t fit together. “What…what makes you think the baby’s his?” Ashley could feel the rifles aimed straight at her heart, feel her hands tied to a post as she faced the squad of executioners.

Doug looked at the floor for a moment and then lifted his eyes to hers. “He just told us…a few minutes ago.” He glanced at the other firefighters, none of whom were paying attention to their conversation. “He told us Tommy was his little guy.”

The bullets hit then.

Ashley slumped as his words ripped their way through her heart and soul. Was she dreaming? Could she be standing here in Landon’s fire station hearing the news that he had a baby? A newborn?

She grabbed two jagged breaths and opened her mouth, but no words came.

“Ashley, follow me.” Doug closed the gap between them and led her by the arm into the next room. There he directed her to a worn sofa, and he sat beside her. “You don’t look too good.”

Heat radiated through her body, but she began to shiver at the same time. A fine layer of wetness broke out across her forehead, and she bit the inside of her lip. “He…he didn’t tell me.”

Doug’s voice was kind, gentle. “Are you his girlfriend?”

The question stumped Ashley. They’d never made any real commitment, had they? Oh, they’d talked about being together at the end of his year, but he’d made her no promises. She hadn’t wanted any.

She blinked and noticed that her eyes were dry. “No.” She was too shocked to cry, as though the news had numbed a part of her. “We…we’re friends. I just thought…”

Suddenly she couldn’t sit with the stranger another moment. She didn’t want his sympathy or anyone else’s. Disappointment had knocked on her door before. Even a disappointment as devastating as this couldn’t change the reason she was in Manhattan. Let Landon live his private life, and she would live hers.

She stood and nodded to Landon’s partner. “Thank you.” Her breathing had been shallow and uneven, but now she exhaled and some of the shock drained away. She brought her fingers to her face and dabbed at her forehead. It was cooler than before. “I have to go. I have an appointment uptown.”

Doug followed her to the front door, mumbling something about waiting for Landon to come back, maybe talking to him herself. To each suggestion she shook her head, and when she was a few feet outside on the sidewalk, she held up her hand. “I don’t want to see him.”

Regret painted the man’s features. “Should I tell him you stopped by?”

“No.” Ashley gave a quick shake of her head. “Don’t tell him a thing.” She picked up her portfolio, walked through the door, and took four long strides toward the curb. “Taxi!” She waved her arm, and a yellow cab pulled over. Without turning around, she slipped her bag into the trunk, laid it carefully on its side, and slid into the backseat.

The cabbie shot her a look in the rearview mirror. “Where to?”

Ashley wanted to give him the location of her hotel, but she couldn’t force out the words. Landon was walking in the park with some girl and a baby—a baby he’d fathered some nine months ago. With the cabdriver waiting, she did the math in her head and realized that he must’ve been with her those first few weeks after September 11, back when he’d rushed to New York City to find Jalen.

After spending the entire summer with her and Cole.

Memories tried to play in her mind, but she wouldn’t let them. Not when she was still trying to make sense of everything she’d just learned. This was supposed to be one of her greatest days ever. The day when she would make her art debut in New York City and be reunited with Landon.

“Lady, where to?” The cabdriver’s voice was short and frustrated.

“Umm…” She didn’t want to be anywhere but here, spying at the front door of the fire station until Landon and his…his
girlfriend
returned with their baby. She had to see it for herself, had to see him cross the street pushing a baby stroller, had to see the way he looked at this girl, whoever she was.

She leaned forward and met the driver’s impatient eyes. “Could you flip around and park on the other side of the road, maybe twenty feet down from here?”

The driver raised a single eyebrow. “This ain’t a park bench, lady; it’s a cab. Where to?”

“Look—” Ashley held up her hands. They had to get away from the fire-station door before Landon returned. “I’m serious. You can keep the meter running.”

The driver shook his head. “Craziest place in the world.” Then with a quick glance over his shoulder, he worked the cab back into traffic, made a right at the next street, and after a few turns pulled up along the opposite curb, just south of the fire station. “This work for you?” He looked at her in the mirror again.

“Perfect.”

Ashley pressed her fists into her stomach and watched the stream of people heading toward them. Her heart beat faster than before, and she wondered at her sanity. What if he didn’t come back for an hour? And how would she feel if somehow he saw her—watching him from the backseat of a cab?

She slid lower in the seat and narrowed her gaze.
Lord, how could this happen? I thought he was…I thought the two of us
… Her silent questions were too raw, too fresh, for her to consider hearing an answer. If Landon could lie to her about this, then how could they share even a friendship? She pulled her sunglasses from her bag and slipped them onto her face. She couldn’t be his friend; it was that simple. Friendship was based on trust, and obviously whatever Landon had gone through after coming to New York, he hadn’t been willing to share it with her.

Had he thought she’d never find out? Never learn that he’d fathered a child in his shock and grief after September 11? And what about Cole? How careless had she been letting her son grow close to Landon without knowing everything about him, without guessing that maybe he’d found someone else in Manhattan?

Come on, Landon, show your face. Let me see what you’ve done.

Another minute passed, and then she saw him. The girl beside him was tall and blonde, a scarf around her hair and dark glasses perched on her face. The sight of them together cut off her oxygen and made it impossible to inhale. Landon was pushing the stroller, smiling at the girl, looking every bit the proud father. Just like Doug had said.

“How much longer, lady?” The driver tapped on the meter. “Time’s money.”

“Wait!” She hissed the word and waved her hand at the driver.

Landon and his friend moved with the flow of traffic toward the crosswalk. As they did, Ashley got a better look at the woman. Her face held something familiar, something in her cheekbones and tall stature. The closer they came, the more certain she was that she’d seen the girl before.

Then, in a rush of recognition, Ashley’s hand flew to her mouth.

It was impossible. Landon never would have…

The young woman looked like Reagan Decker—Luke’s girlfriend.

Ashley lowered her glasses and stared at the girl, the way she held her head and smiled at Landon, the swish of her long blonde hair and the graceful way she kept pace with him.

No question about it, the woman was Reagan.

And as Reagan and Landon pushed the baby stroller across the street and headed into the fire station, a truckload of details landed squarely on Ashley’s shoulders. The last time she’d seen Reagan had been at the bus station in Bloomington, the place where Luke had bid Reagan good-bye.