Return to Alastair (9 page)

“I will go,” he said slowly, “if that is what you want. Please forgive me for frightening you. Forgive me for whatever I may have done. But I want to know of it, sir. Whatever it is, I need to know. If there are people here I’ve hurt, I want to make it right somehow. Whatever we did, I’m sorry! But tell me! Please help me know where I’ve come from. I swear to you I’ll hurt no one now.”

He stood waiting for an answer, feeling broken and small.

“We’ve got to talk to him,” Magna whispered.

“No!” Orin scolded. “Let him go. We don’t have to tell him nothin’.”

“He’s standin’ there askin’ forgiveness of
you
, Orin! How can you let that be? He was a child!”

“He’ll kill me if we tell him the truth.”

“He’s naming Christ, Orin.”

“That don’t matter.”

The stranger suddenly whistled, and Orin jumped. But nothing happened until a horse came from behind the next house and toward him. Tahn Dorn was unarmed, like he’d said, but there was a sword among the horse’s bags, and it made Orin all the more jittery.

Lorne had progressed in a wide circle around them and was nearing his friend. “I don’t know what you fear,” he said to them. “But we only want to know if Tahn has family. Was the man his kin? Were there any others? We have money. We will pay you.”

Neither of the Sades answered.

And Tahn turned toward his horse. “Leave them a silver for their trouble, Lorne. I seem to owe them something.”

Magna bit her lip and looked at her husband again.

“Wait!”

“Magna, no!” Orin grabbed at his wife, the panic gripping him.

“Let me go, Orin! Don’t you owe
him
? Don’t you? Can’t you remember the skinny little thing running so hard? Can’t you remember his screams? Can’t you? My God, Orin! Don’t you care what you done?”

Tahn fell to his knees, shaking his head. And Lorne jumped from his horse.

“Shut up, Magna!” Orin screamed. “Shut up!” He slapped her hard, and she fell backward. He raised his hand to slap her again, but Lorne was suddenly upon them.

“Don’t be hurting the lady,” he warned. “We’re about nothing but the truth, and I aim to hear it! We’ll not harm you, sir. But I won’t watch you beat her! Let her go.”

Orin released his hold on his wife and faced him, now trembling. “Just go away! It was a long time ago. It wasn’t my doing. I can’t change anything! Just leave us alone!”

Lorne ignored him and turned to Magna. “Will you please talk to my friend? You have no idea what this means to him.” He reached his hand to help her up, and slowly she moved hers to accept it. She rose up with a tiny nod, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Curse you, Magna!” Orin hollered. “You wouldn’t leave me. You just always wanted me dead! Ain’t it so?” He went back to his horse, grabbed the rope, and pulled the bridle into place.

He rode out of Alastair at a run, and they didn’t even turn their heads.

Magna Sade approached Tahn slowly. He was still on his knees, just watching her, looking afraid and suddenly very young.

“He . . . he poured it, didn’t he?” Tahn choked the words out with a shudder.

Magna knelt in front of him, her eyes filled with tears. “Yes, lad. I’d been heatin’ the pot. But I didn’t know . . . he didn’t tell me—”

Tahn reached for her hand, and she grasped both of his and squeezed them. He looked down at the ground but then up at her again. “Please . . . tell me why.”

“Dear God, help us,” she whispered. “Do you remember anything of your mother, lad?”

He shook his head. “I’m not sure. I think I’ve remembered her touch. But I don’t even know her face.”

“Her name was Karra Loble. They say your father killed her. It was an awful crime, and it was him who was hung. His name was Dorn too. Sanlin Dorn. You resemble him a great deal.”

“Did I help him? Is that why they did it? Did I help him kill my own mother?” He was shaking, unable to picture it, unable to take it in.

And she leaned forward and put her arms around him. “How old were you?”

“Four. Maybe. I’ve never been completely sure.”

“They said you helped him. But can you even imagine it possible for one so small?”

Tahn looked down at the dirt. “I used to think that I was born for nothing but darkness. I can’t say what I might have been capable of.”

“And you don’t remember it at all?”

Tahn shook his head again. “I dream of running down a street, looking for her. I hear a baby’s cry, and I follow the sound, but it stops. I get very upset that I can’t find her.”

Magna nodded. “There were women who could not believe it could be true of you, or any child. I think you had a care for your mother. I think if you did any of it, it was unknowing, or by the force of your father.”

“Do you know anything of a baby?”

“Your sister. Half or full, I don’t know. There was question whether you were truly her mother’s, or she even truly your father’s. I think she has the Dorn in her, though. Her hair is so much like yours.”

His heart leaped into his throat. “She’s alive? Still in Alastair?”

She smiled. “Yes, lad. And she works for my brother-inlaw. You’re not what they say at all, are you?”

“I’m not sure what they say. I’ve been much.”

“It’s a relief to me that you’re not minded for revenge. It was an angry mob and no legal justice done.”

“My sister. Where can I find her?”

“Vale Sade’s tavern by the coppersmith. Her name is Tiarra Loble. She’s so much your size. I think you would know her by the looks.”

They rode through the early evening streets, paying no attention to eyes turned their way. Tahn’s stomach had never churned so dreadfully, not even when first facing Lord Trilett, or Netta’s first kiss.

“Lorne,” he said suddenly. “She would know about our mother’s death, I’m sure. Perhaps she’ll not want to see me.”

“How could she not?”

“If I had a part, killing her mother—”

“Tahn, you could no more have been responsible for that than I can for being sold.”

“How can you know for sure?”

“I know you.”

“And you know what I was.”

Lorne nodded. “I know how you killed, Tahn. You were too good at it. But it was Samis who put you to it. And he couldn’t have done it if he didn’t have you bound beyond reason. Lucas told me the state you were in. Not sane in his hands. You thought you’d burn again, endlessly, if you disobeyed him.” Lorne looked over at his friend. “Am I right?”

Tahn bowed his head. “Yes.”

“But you stopped. You defied him anyway, while still expecting his torture. Right?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s not in you. It’s not
you
, Tahn. It can’t be. If you hurt anyone here, you were forced to it, and just as cruelly.”

Vale Sade’s tavern was an old square building that looked like it had weathered a lot of traffic. Tahn insisted that Lorne go in alone to find the girl. He didn’t want to see the shock—or worse—the fear in her face if he just walked in to her. Let her have a moment for it to sink in and to decide for herself whether she would see him.

There were just a few patrons inside, with one big man tending the liquor. And a thin girl with Tahn’s hair wiping at a table. Her back was to Lorne. Her clothes were poor, and she wore no shoes on her dirty feet.

“Excuse me,” Lorne said, and she turned around. He hesitated for a moment, struck by her features. She didn’t look much like Tahn in her face. There were bruises that brought questions to his mind. But she was truly beautiful anyway, and he found himself catching his breath. “Are you Tiarra Loble?”

“Yes,” she answered with some hesitation in her voice.

“My name is Lorne Graise. I’m a friend of your brother’s. He stands outside, dear lady, longing to meet you.”

She put her hand on a chair and stood straight, hoping he could not see how she quaked inside at his revelation. Her brother really had come to her. What should she do? “Why has he come?” she asked with a quiet voice, glancing over at Vale, whom she knew was watching them.

“To find if he had kin, ma’am. He’s anxious to know you. He only found out today that you live.”

She wondered at that. Had he thought she’d been killed too? Was that part of the plan back then? “I think he’s not welcome in Alastair,” she said, still quiet. “We do not favor killers here.”

The man called Lorne shook his head. “Please, miss. Don’t judge him until you know. He’s a good man. He only knows part of the truth of this town, and he is wounded for it. He needs to meet you. Please come and talk to him.”

She stared at him. How could it be as he said? “You’re his friend. Perhaps you’re all the killer and thief he is.”

“I am redeemed of God,” Lorne replied. “As he is.”

The words angered Tiarra. The same God who let street children suffer, killers could claim! “Just go from me!” she cried. “Tell him to go back to his rich life and leave me alone!”

But Lorne would not give up. “It is your own brother. Just look on his face! It will break his heart if you won’t. He’s no threat to you.”

She was quiet. She glanced over at Vale again, but he said nothing and gave her no indication of anything. It would have been easier if he had commanded her to stay at her work. But she knew how her heart would have leaped outside then, wishing for a glimpse of her brother, if only to know close up what her own flesh and blood might look like.

“Please, miss,” Lorne begged again. “Speak a word with him.”

She glanced toward the heavy door and stepped toward it with an instant decision she hoped she would not regret. Emotions tumbled inside her as she pulled it open. What did he want? What might he do?

Her brother was standing in the street, his horse behind him. She was surprised that he looked scarcely bigger than she. She remembered the long hair from last night at Martica’s. But his eyes were so dark and stormy that she could not keep her gaze on them. His clothes were very decent ones, right down to the good boots. And she couldn’t help but think of him living high, while she struggled every day with her endless burden. “Do you do anything there at the Trilett estate?” she asked without thinking. “Or just live off the love of your lady?”

The words surprised him, she could tell. But he didn’t respond.

“He’s the captain of their guard,” Lorne answered for him with anger in his voice. “Set to protect the family.”

She lowered her head. “Perhaps you should not be so far away from them, then.”

She could feel Tahn Dorn’s eyes still on her, and it made her nervous. Had it been a mistake to come out here? Martica would think so.

“I will go back to them,” her brother said slowly. “You are right. But please tell me if it is well with you. You seem hurt. Are you safe? Are you happy?”

His questions took her by surprise. She would never have expected him to care. “Why are you here?”

He took a step toward her but stopped. “I had to come, to find out if I had family. But I never thought you could know more of me than I know of you.”

The words shook her. Was this a trick? How could he not know if he had family?

Before she could say anything, more words came tumbling from him. “Please tell me of yourself! Tell me what you know of your mother, if you would. I remember almost nothing. Surely someone has told you. I’m so sorry. A woman told me of my father, why he was hanged. I’m so sorry! I remember looking for her. And you’ve been in my dreams! After so long, God would have me find you. Please don’t be afraid. Whatever I’ve been to you, please believe that I would never hurt you now!”

She stared at him. He looked so sincere. Even wounded, like his friend had said. But how could he not remember? A boy of twelve, well practiced in the cunning ways of his father? Martica had told her all about it. “You’re lying to me,” she said. “You knew my mother. But you never gave me the chance.”

Tahn just closed his eyes. But Lorne persisted. “How could you think he would remember her well? How could you hold him accountable? He was only four years old!”

She turned to him in shock but slowly shook her head. “You’re lying to me! What do you want, to come here deceiving me? We have nothing! Go away!” She turned back to the tavern’s old door, thinking of Martica, who took her in, gave her a home, saved her alive when she had no one. With shaking hands, she went back in to her work, leaving them standing alone outside.

“There’s something strange about this town, Tahn,” Lorne said. “We’re not getting the whole story.”

But Tahn said nothing, only reached behind him for the reins of his horse.

“She just doesn’t understand,” his friend assured him. “I don’t think she knows what really happened any more than you do. Someone’s told her something, but that doesn’t mean it was accurate.”

Tahn mounted Smoke in silence.

“I don’t want to leave,” Lorne told him. “Not till we know more. It’s not right. This town’s holding on to a secret.”

“We’re not leaving,” Tahn said as he turned his mount. But that was all he would say, and they rode together down the darkening street.

8

J
ust a few minutes after she heard them leaving, more horses arrived, plenty of them. Tiarra had never been scared by the sound before. There were always men descending on this place. But this time it made her shiver inside. She wanted to run away as far as she could and just throw herself down and cry.