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Really, what did I have to lose? I was kind of stranded here until my flight left the next day, and I’d been dreaming about visiting this city since I was a child. Why should the fact that Gregg was an insincere, narcissistic prick spoil that, too?

And while Bonnie was virtually a stranger, she’d been nothing but kind and supportive to me. Friendships had been born under stranger circumstances, right?

I smiled. “Why not? I’m all yours.”

She took a bite out of her sandwich. I popped a few fries in my mouth, glancing around again. As we finished our lunch, Bonnie suggested an itinerary for the afternoon. I listened, enjoying her company, grateful to have such a knowledgeable guide. So far, California proved to be very different from my home in Missouri.

By mid-afternoon, we’d walked along Hollywood Boulevard, placed our hands in the prints of our favorite stars, seen many celebrities’ extravagant homes, and next on our agenda was the movie studio tour.

We stopped at another sidewalk café just to catch our breath and get something to drink. I ordered an iced tea. Bonnie wrinkled up her nose, cancelled my order, and then ordered two cosmopolitans. She winked at me as the waiter walked away. “When in Rome...” she uttered.

Tapping her long, blood-red fingernails on the table, she stared at me. I ignored it for a minute then finally asked, “What?”

“I’m just lookin’ at you wonderin’ what’s wrong with that man of yours. What was he thinkin’? You are fine, girl. Look at you, all that wavy hair. What color would you call that? Chestnut, I think. Your skin is flawless. I’d kill for that skin. Hell, you’d need a ladder to climb those legs, they’re so long, and you’re not so bad in the booby department, neither.”

“Thanks, Bonnie,” I said.

I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but somehow my self-esteem was still flat on the mat, down for the count.

“Is he slow, the boyfriend? Oh I know. He’s got a tiny little pecker, right? Those little dick guys always got somethin’ to prove, if ya know what I mean.”

I smiled, shaking my head, ignoring the question. Then I sighed. “Honestly, I think he’s just a thoughtless bastard. I don’t know. Maybe I’m overreacting.”

She stared at me open-mouthed, like I’d just sprouted another head. “Overreacting?” she shrieked. “Honey, I’d have kicked that man’s balls in so hard he’d never be using ’em again. And his assistant? That bitch got no class at all. Any woman steppin’ in on another woman’s man, you don’t get no second chances for that shit.”

“It’s not like we were friends.”

“Doesn’t matter. Sisters need to stick together. That ho don’t know the rules.”

“I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised. Gregg and I haven’t been getting along lately, and Amanda does look like a centerfold. It’s just...Gregg’s never been an affectionate or passionate guy. It’s hard to imagine him making the effort to pursue a woman.”

“He pursued you, didn’t he?”

I shrugged, remembering how my friend’s brother had fixed us up. “It really wasn’t much of a chase.”

Bonnie’s lips curled up into a smile. “I know just what you need, girlfriend. We’re gonna do this tour, then we’re goin’ back to Bonnie’s place. I’m gonna give you a makeover. After that we’re goin’ out to do some shots of tequila and fix that broke self-image you have.”

As unsettling as that scenario sounded, a part of me was incredibly curious and excited as well. I found myself looking forward to the idea.

****

After paying our admission, we waited in the lobby until our tour guide came for us. As I listened to him talk, it occurred to me that coming on this excursion without Gregg definitely had its advantages. I could linger at my favorite attractions without having to listen to impatient sighs or aggravated foot tapping.

Gregg had no interest in movies or celebrities. He would have hated a studio tour. Come to think of it, I should have been suspicious when I discovered the trip to Hollywood to begin with.

I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering back to the day before. When Amanda showed up in our room, Greg actually tried to defend it by confessing that it hadn’t been a trip for me, but a business trip. How stupid did he think I was? Like that see-through, little net-thing Amanda had been wearing was business casual? Maybe slutty casual.

No, I was not going to get all melancholy over Gregg. Just because he was a lying jerk didn’t mean my entire trip had to be spoiled. Determined to enjoy myself, I put him out of my mind, focusing instead on the glamour and elegance of my surroundings.

Desperately needing to answer nature’s call, I whispered to Bonnie, asking her if she knew where the ladies room was. She shook her head and reminded me she had a penis. Right, I forgot. She was a men’s room kind of gal. There’s a mental picture I could’ve done without.

I told her I’d be right back, and I slipped away from the group in search of a restroom, but somehow I managed to get turned around on my way back to the main studio where we started. I looked around, trying to remember which way I had come in. There were several hallways, but they all looked the same to me.

“Great, Maggie. You can’t even go to the bathroom without getting lost.”

A large metal door on the right looked like it might be the way back. I opened the door and literally fell through it, landing in a heap at the bottom of about a three-foot drop. I stood up. Looking around, I found myself in some sort of desert with many odd-looking characters moving around. None of the creatures looked even remotely familiar, and the flat, sandy terrain went on for miles.

I suddenly realized I must’ve stumbled upon a movie set. One would have thought security would have been tighter; I mean the rest of the place was practically in lockdown. The door I fell through must’ve been a crew entrance or something. My heart started racing.

I knew I needed to make myself scarce before I screwed up the filming and got into trouble. If I got out of the way, maybe they’d let me stay and watch. I brushed the dust off my pants and looked around.

A few trees, several barren of leaves, spotted the landscape, along with a spattering of shrubs, and several huge boulders. They had to have used a crane to get those things in here, they were so big.

I searched for an exit but couldn’t see one anywhere. The vast set reminded me of a combination of
Alice in Wonderland
and the “cantina scene” from
Star Wars
with its barren terrain and weird characters
.

The beasts had a primordial appearance with a touch of scary, deranged stuffed animal.
It was as if prehistoric animals and ragdolls had reproduced rampantly. The bizarre-looking, various-sized creatures ran around all over the place, chasing one another, grazing, or fleeing to avoid becoming dinner. Some of them were covered in fur while others appeared more reptilian and then some were an odd combination of the two.

Suddenly, what resembled a cross between a dinosaur and a bear came running straight toward me. It was taller than a house and its hostile, wide, red eyes focused directly on me, exuding pure malice. I could clearly hear its angry snarling and see its jagged, yellow teeth dripping with foamy drool.

I was riveted. The special effects on this film were terrific. That thing seemed incredibly real. I couldn’t wait to see this movie in a theater and be able to say “I was there when...”

I couldn't find any place to duck out of the way, my anxiety increasing, knowing the cameraman would surely discover my presence if he kept filming this...giant, furry “bearosaur.”

Suddenly, something hit me with enough force to take me down and knock the wind out of me. Before I could even react, I felt myself being hauled between two boulders the size of school buses.

Finally, I caught my breath and stood up to face my attacker. His size intimidated me. I’m five-foot-eight so I’m fairly tall, but he towered over me wearing some sort of large, shapeless fur garment. He was obviously an actor in the film and probably mistook me for an extra. I wasn’t nearly as impressed with the costume design as I had been with the special effects.

His dirty, shaggy, shoulder-length hair gave him an unkempt appearance. His full mustache and beard were all matted and desperately needed trimming, and he smelled like he hadn’t had a shower in quite some time; very caveman chic.

The sounds of sniffing and more snarling triggered him to push me further between the rocks. There was barely enough room for the two of us to stand without touching.

“Hey!” I protested.

“You’d prefer I just let him eat you?” the man snapped.

“You don’t understand. I’m not part of this production.”

He stared at me like I’d spoken in a foreign language.

“I’m not in the movie. I accidentally happened onto the set. I was just trying—”

“What the hell are you talking about?” he growled, cutting me off. “What movie? I just saved your ass, lady.”

“You don’t have to be so rude. I told you I was here by accident.”

“Yeah? Welcome to the club. You think anyone winds up here on purpose?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll be happy to leave if you’ll just tell me which way to go.”

“If I knew the way to get out of here, I’d already be gone.”

I tried to get past him but he blocked my way. I started to get annoyed. “Look, mister, if you want me to leave the set, you need to move.”

He didn’t budge. “I don’t know what your problem is,” he said slowly, “but I am not going to step aside and let you get yourself killed. This is not a movie set. This is the Outer Rim. That molterg out there is hungry and you’re the tasty meal it’s hunting for.”

Just as I started to think this guy was nuts, a thought popped into my head. I laughed. “Oh, I get it. This is some ‘real experience’ in the movies. Bonnie must’ve paid for it. Okay, I’ll play along,” I said eagerly.

The scraggly man just stared at me. “How did you say you got here?” he asked.

I glanced, pointing in the direction from where he’d dragged me from then I did a double take. There was no door, no wall, nothing but open space. A little anxiously, I searched all directions, my eyes darting around, looking for the door that I fell through...but it wasn’t there.

“That’s impossible,” I muttered.

The man blew out a breath. “Let me guess,” he said, “you came through a metal door, right? Just like the rest of us and now the door is gone.”

I nodded with relief, realizing this was part of the package. “Oh, thank God. For a minute I thought I was crazy. So tell me, it’s exhilarating and all, but how long does this whole ‘extra experience’ last?”

The man shook his head. Then he grabbed me by the arms and practically shouted at me. “Listen to me! This is not a movie. This is not a joke. Nobody paid extra for anything. This is real. That thing out there intended to kill and devour you. I managed to keep you alive, but if you want to stay that way we need to move,
now
!”

I was a little put off, but thought maybe this was part of the whole experience too. I heard a commotion. A woman with long, bleach-blonde hair caught my eye, clearly fleeing from something. She ran in the direction leading away from us and kept looking behind her, which gave me a glimpse of her face for a split second. I couldn’t help but notice her expression of sheer terror...right before the monster that had been chasing her descended upon her. The creature grabbed her at the waist and sunk its razor-sharp teeth into her flesh.

“Wow, she’s really good,” I whispered, riveted by her performance, unable to take my eyes off of her.

A crimson fountain of blood spurted out of the woman, spewing into the air and showering down all around her, soaking the ground beneath her. The shocked, anguished expression on the woman’s face appeared completely genuine. She was bound to win an award for this performance.

I gasped as the creature violently shook the woman in its mouth, severing her body into two halves. The man tried to shield me from seeing it, but it happened too quickly. The beast swallowed the bottom half of the woman and ran away, leaving her head and torso lifeless and bleeding.

“I can’t believe how realistic that was. The sound effects alone...How did they do that?”

Grabbing my arm, the man roughly jerked me forward, pushing to the edge of the boulder. Through gritted teeth, he seethed, “Does that
smell
like fake blood to you? Do you see any camera men or crew people...
anywhere
?”

I looked around and saw no one. I’d been so caught up in the action, I’d failed to notice that little detail before. I swallowed hard. I looked at the remains of the blonde woman and then back to the scruffy, surly man.

“I...I...don’t understand,” I stammered. “It’s just a movie. It has to be. This can’t be real...it’s impossible.”

The very pungent, coppery smell of blood wafted up to my nose and a wave of nausea hit me. I blanched and started to tremble. “I don’t understand,” I said again, “this doesn’t make any sense.”

The man let go of my arm and looked directly into my eyes. He must’ve recognized the horror on my face because he spoke more softly. “I know it doesn’t. But it
is
real. I’m sorry.”

My feet felt like lead but my head seemed incredibly light. I didn’t know if I could move. I’d just seen a woman torn in half and partially eaten right before my eyes by a monster that didn’t exist. I’d ended up in this place through a big, heavy, metal door that had since disappeared, and now I was apparently dependent on a caveman to stay alive. I was having a bit of trouble processing.

I could see the man’s lips moving but I couldn’t hear his words. My head began to spin. My knees buckled and I fell. He caught me and helped me to stand.

“Hey, careful, now,” he said, much more gently than he had spoken to me before. “I’m Darrios. What’s your name?”

I looked at him, unable to speak. My tongue felt like it filled my entire mouth. He probably thought I’d forgotten my own name.