Read Return to Paradise Online
Authors: Simone Elkeles
TWENTY-EIGHT
Maggie
'peek into my mom's room as I'm getting ready for the .double date. She's sitting on her bed, staring at the open box with the ring Lou gave her still inside. She didn't say yes to him when he came over last night and proposed, but she didn't say no.
She said she needed time to think.
She's definitely thinking.
"Did you tell Dad about Lou?" I ask her.
"I called him today," she says, her voice sad and wistful.
"And?"
"And ... I don't know," she says, then shrugs. "I'm confused. I thought I knew what I wanted, but when Lou came by last night he got me thinking, and now ... now I'm just confused."
I sit on the bed next to her and smile. She brushes the hair out of my face and sighs. "I thought for so long that if your dad came back, it would make our lives whole again."
"I know. I did, too. Until Lou came along."
"But he's not your dad. I fell in love with your dad first, and I don't know if I can give Lou as much of myself as I gave your father."
"He loves you, Mom."
"I know. But is it enough?"
"That's for you to decide. I'll support you, no matter what you choose."
"I just thought ... well, forget it. Don't think about anything except having fun. I'm glad you're going out."
"Me too." I hadn't been looking forward to tonight, but when I took a shower and started getting ready, I got excited. Well, not excited for my mystery date, but excited to be doing what I said I was doing-moving on with my life.
Sometimes moving on takes effort.
Sometimes moving on is harder than it looks.
Going out is the first step to Maggie Armstrong moving on in life. I may have a limp, but that doesn't mean my social life or dating life has to be dead.
I take a deep breath and tell myself, it is what it is. I can't turn back the clock and undo the accident. It happened. This is who I am now, take it or leave it.
But when I look at my clock and notice it's five fortyfive, I have second thoughts. I don't know if I'm ready to move on. I can't imagine myself kissing anyone besides Caleb. I know that's ridiculous, but right now it's true.
At five after six, as I'm ready to bite my fingernails to the core with anticipation and anxiety, the doorbell rings.
I plaster a smile on my face and open the front door. Standing in front of me is Matt, a girl with short spiky blonde hair, and ...
"No way!" I say with a smile.
My physical therapist, Robert, opens his arms wide. "You didn't think I'd let you leave for Spain without one last goodbye, did you?"
I narrow my eyes at Matt. "Did you have this planned all along?" I ask him, as Robert hugs me like a brother.
"Yeah. So shoot me if we wanted to surprise you. Becca, this is Maggie. Maggie, Becca." While I greet Matt's girlfriend, Matt nudges Robert. "Maggie even put on makeup for you. I've never even seen her with makeup on."
My mom comes in the foyer, pretending she was just passing through on her way upstairs instead of having it all timed so that she could meet my "date."
"Robert?" she says, confused.
Robert, wearing a fashionable brown sports jacket to match his fashionable glasses says, "I couldn't let Maggie leave for an entire year without a goodbye celebration. She's my date tonight."
My mom has known Robert for almost two years now, ever since he came to the hospital after my surgery and was assigned to be my personal torture instructor ... I mean physical therapist. I used to fantasize about pulling his perfectly spiked hair right out of his head when he wouldn't give up on me and I desperately wanted him to.
More times than not, I cried in front of him. I hated when Robert expected me to push myself to the limit. When I thought I couldn't bend my leg any more, Robert would make me go one step further.
I didn't appreciate him at the time, that's for sure. It took us a while to become friends. I was actually entertained by all of his stories about dating girls. Robert is a self-proclaimed bachelor and says he'll never settle down because he gets bored easily when it comes to girls. He says just like he can't eat Chinese food every day, he can't date the same girl without getting the itch to find someone different.
I once told him he'd die a very lonely man, and his good looks would one day fade, but he didn't seem worried. The guy has way too much confidence, but I wouldn't trade him for anything.
After my mom hugs Robert and meets Matt and Becca, she says, "You kids stay out at long as you want. Just have fun."
We decide to go to Dusty's Sports Bar & Grill. They serve food in the restaurant, so as long as you don't drink, you can be there if you're under twenty-one. Robert is already twenty-four, and he orders a beer while the rest of us order sodas.
It's nice that my first real date is a nondate, so I don't have to obsess over whether or not my disability is going to be an issue.
"Maggie, have you been doing the stretching exercises we'd discussed before you went on your trip this summer?" Robert asks.
I take a fry from the basket we'd ordered and dip it in some ketchup. "Can I lie?"
Matt, Becca, and I all laugh while Robert shakes his head. It feels good to go out and get my mind off of Caleb. I feel like every minute my mind isn't occupied, it wanders to thoughts of him.
Like now. While I'm having a good time, way better than I expected, I wonder if Caleb would have his arm around me like Matt has his arm draped around Becca, if we were on a date. And the way she looks up at him reminds me of-
"I bet you've been stiff," Robert says.
Right. Back to the here and now. Stop thinking about Caleb.
I roll my eyes. "You're off duty. Remember, you're supposed to be my date tonight, not my therapist." My fingers make quotation marks in the air when I say the word "date."
"She did complain of stiffness on the trip," Matt chimes in. He holds his hands up when I mumble traitor. "I'm just sayin'."
Robert moves his chair back and says, "Give me your leg, Maggie."
I blow out a frustrated breath and rest my leg on his knee. "It's fine. I'm fine."
"Flex for me."
I look over at Matt and Becca across the table as I flex. "Better you than me," Matt says, chuckling.
"Do you give a physical exam to all your dates?" I ask Robert as he cradles my jean-covered calf in his hand and watches how far I flex.
"No." He winks at me. "It's a first for me."
If it were any other guy, that wink would be cheesy, but I bet Robert practiced it in front of the mirror until it looked cool.
I cock an eyebrow and say, "I don't fall for your charms."
"Really? Wait, let me try it again." He winks a second time.
"Nope, doesn't do it for me. Besides, it's really inappropriate," I tell him, totally joking and he knows it. He's given me such a hard time in the past, I feel it's only fair for me to return the favor. "I'm your patient."
"Not anymore, you're not. You quit physical therapy. You're fair game."
"Ugh, you're too old."
"I'm twenty-four. How can that be too old?"
"I think you have some gray hair, Robert."
Robert's mouth goes wide and his hand cups his perfect head of hair. "I. Do. Not."
"Umm, Maggie," Matt says, then coughs a bunch of times. "I think the guy you really want just walked through the door."
TWENTY-NINE
Caleb
'm trying to act like seeing Maggie with another guy is no big deal. I've wanted to call her since I came back. I should have called her. I didn't, and now she's out with a guy. She's got her leg resting on his knee, her calf cradled in his slimy hand.
What the fuck?
Does the dude know that a week ago she was lying in bed with me?
When Maggie looks my way, she whisks her leg off the guy's lap.
"Maggie! Matt!" Lenny practically yells across the bar. He's standing next to me, waving his arms as if he's on a desert island attempting to flag down a passing ship. Nobody's missing his presence, that's for damn sure.
Matt motions us over.
He shakes my hand when I reach their table. "Caleb and Lenny, this is my girlfriend Becca and that's Robert, our physical therapist."
Robert holds out his hand and shakes mine, then Lenny's. I give him a strong, hard shake so he knows I'm not a dead fish. The guy is drinking beer, and he looks like he came out of a damn GQ magazine spread. Is that the kind of guy she's looking for, an older one who wears fancy clothes?
"What are you doing here?" Maggie asks, totally confused.
"I came back."
"Have you seen Leah and your dad?"
"I'm staying with them." I pause. "For now. Lenny had some issues with his mom, so he's staying at my house too.
I'm trying to read her, but I can't. The guy she's with seems amused that I'm here. Has she told him about me? Does she even give a shit that I'm back, or was all that talk about coming back to Paradise solely for my parents' and sister's sake?
"Why don't you guys join us?" Robert asks.
Nice way to shove it in my face, dude. He has no clue if he attempts to stick his tongue down Maggie's throat in my presence, I'll be on him like a pit bull. "No, thanks."
Lenny spots an empty booth across the way and heads over to it.
"We'll talk later," I tell Maggie. I follow Lenny and slide into the booth.
As if the night couldn't get worse, my old high school friends walk through the door. I spot my old best friend Brian Newcomb right away, the guy who was dating Kendra while I was still dating her. She was sleeping with both of us and I had no clue. Brian knew, but he was too chickenshit to tell me about it.
He's with Tristan and Drew. The four of us were on the wrestling team together. We'd hung out since grade school. After I was released from jail, Drew was a cocky asshole and Tristan's mom ordered me to stay away from him. Tristan didn't argue.
I try not to make eye contact with the guys, and instead attempt to concentrate on whatever nonsense is flying out of Lenny's mouth. I think he's reminiscing about tossing Trish in the lake, but I'm hardly listening, because out of the corner of my eye I see Brian walking toward us.
"Holy shit, it really is you," Brian says, leaning into the booth and slapping me on the back. "Where you been, man?"
I try to fight off the feeling of camaraderie with Brian, but I can't. We were best friends for too damn long for me to turn my back and pretend he doesn't exist.
"I was in Chicago for a while," I tell him. Brian nods as if he understands. I gesture to Lenny. "This is Lenny. Lenny, these are my old friends."
"Cool." Lenny nods at each of them.
"Hey, Caleb," Tristan says, shaking my hand. "You're back, huh?"
"Just for a little while," I tell him.
Drew has a sly grin on his face as he sits on the bench beside me. "Brian, give Caleb the good news."
If Brian tells me he got a wrestling scholarship to Notre Dame, I won't be surprised. He always wanted to be one of the Fighting Irish, even though he's German. It was one of our running jokes. Brian is a smart guy, and worked hard to get the grades so he could get in.
Brian shoves his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, umm, I'm getting married."
"To Kendra," Drew chimes in, as if he can't keep the salacious info off his tongue. Drew hates Kendra, but he loves gossip that's sure to ignite sparks between Brian and me.
He's not going to get those sparks, at least from me.
I reach past Drew and hold out my hand to Brian. "Congrats, man," I say. And I mean it. I thought he'd go the college route, but if this is what he wants, more power to him.
Brian shakes my hand. "Thanks, Caleb. That's really cool of you."
I nod, and I'm glad that's over. The ice is broken. Tristan slides in next to Lenny, and Brian pulls up a chair to sit on the end.
This is one cozy little group.
Speaking of cozy little groups ... I peer over at Maggie. She's having all sorts of fun with Matt, that guy Robert, and Becca. Okay, well not exactly fun. They're all just talking. I shouldn't give a shit. I don't give a shit.
How old is that dude, anyway? He's got a sports coat on as if he's about to broadcast the five o'clock news, and he's drinking his beer out of a glass instead of a bottle. The dude is a diva.
"So when's the wedding?" Lenny asks Brian.
"In two weeks," Brian mumbles as the waitress comes over.
After we order, Brian pulls out his cell phone and starts texting. For a guy who's getting married in two weeks, he doesn't look happy. In fact, he looks downright depressed.
I wouldn't put it past Kendra to manipulate him into marrying her, except for the fact that ever since sophomore year, Kendra has been obsessed with leaving Paradise and moving to California. She always wanted to be an actress or model and used to make fun of the people who graduated from Paradise High and stayed here their entire lives. She called them white trash losers.
Tristan tries to grab Brian's phone, but he pulls it out of his reach. "Stop it," he orders.
Our food comes, and I have to say thank God for Lenny. I don't feel like talking much, and Lenny can carry on a conversation about anything. When Lenny finds out Drew is into sports cars, he pulls all this random sports car knowledge out of his ass. Funny thing is, he sounds like he really knows what he's talking about.
When Tristan mentions the new Frisbee course that went up at the south end of Paradise Park, Lenny says he "loves frolfing" and that "technically it's called disc golfing because Frisbee is a brand name, yadda yadda."
Who knew Lenny was an encyclopedia of useless information? I'm just glad I don't have to carry the conversation, especially because I keep looking over at Maggie.
Oh, shit. I catch her looking back. Our eyes lock on one another.
"I've got to go," Brian says.
"Sit down, Bri," Drew says. "I drove you, remember? I'm not goin' anywhere until I finish my food."
Brian reaches into his wallet and tosses a ten dollar bill on the table. "You don't have to interrupt your meal, Drew. Kendra is picking me up."
Brian keeps looking at the door and holding his cell phone in his palm, as if he's expecting to be summoned by text any minute. Something's not right.
Apparently Kendra decides to come in rather than just text him, because she walks through the door and heads toward us. Her big blue eyes are focused on me and her long blonde hair is perfectly styled. Her makeup makes her look hard, not like the pretty girl I started dating when we were sophomores. She was my first serious girlfriend, and the one who I lost my virginity to. I used to think she was the sexiest thing alive.
"I thought you were going to text me when you got here, Brian says. "
Kendra doesn't break her eye contact with me. "I had to see if it was true." She wets her top lip and throws me one of her all-too-familiar sexy looks. "So ... Caleb Becker is back. Again."
"Hey, Kend," I say. "I hear congratulations are in order."
She looks down at her ring finger and the small diamond. "Thanks."
"You ready?" Brian asks, taking her hand.
Kendra removes her hand from Brian's grasp. "Can I talk to CB outside for a minute?"
I haven't heard that nickname in a long time. CB, my initials. She always called me that.
Brian looks at me, then back at her. "Yeah, I guess so. But I thought you said we were late for the cake tasting."
"It's fine," is her response. "I need to talk to Caleb first."
Drew rolls his eyes, but slides out of the booth to let me out.
"We'll be right back," Kendra tells Brian. "Wait here."
She heads for the exit, and doesn't stop until we're next to the gravel parking lot.
"I can't believe you came back," she says.
I tell her the truth. "I needed to tie up some loose ends."
"Am I a loose end, CB? 'Cause I swear, all I've done since you left is think about you and me. Do you think about me?"
I'm confused. Why is she bringing us up when she was the one who cheated on me? "Why are you marrying Brian? 'Cause neither one of you look happy about it. I know for a fact that after graduation you were dying to leave this town and go out to California, and Brian was dead set on going to Notre Dame."
Kendra crosses her arms around her stomach. "I'm pregnant, Caleb."
Shit. Pregnant? Didn't see that coming, although I guess the evidence is right in front of my face. Kendra isn't wearing one of her signature tight shirts that hug her body. She's wearing a loose shirt with a light jacket.
Tears start welling in her eyes, making her eyelashes sparkle. When she blinks and black mascara falls down her cheek along with her tear, I don't know what to say.
"Sorry," I say dumbly.
"Brian doesn't even want to apply for college, Caleb. He wants to take over his dad's butcher shop. Can you imagine me staying in Paradise and being the wife of a butcher?"
She wraps her arms around my waist. I keep my hands off her, because damn it, I don't want Brian coming out here and thinking we're about to get it on. And I don't want Maggie seeing me with Kendra, either.
It was a bad idea coming out here with her. I take her wrists and unwrap her arms from around my waist.
"Kend ... shit, why didn't you just use a condom or something? We were always careful."
"Yeah, well the next time a guy says he'll promise to pull out I'll remember that's not effective birth control."
She wraps her arms around me again. We dated for over two years, but she doesn't have a hold on me now.
I also know that Kendra can turn the damsel-in-distress act into the diva-with-an-agenda act in a matter of seconds.
She buries her head into my chest. "Take me with you," I think I hear her say.
"What?"
She looks up with wide blue eyes and blinks her long lashes.
"Take me back, CB," she says. "I never stopped loving you.