Return to Sender (22 page)

It's at these times that Tyler notes how sad Mr. Cruz looks, not at all what Tyler expected after the ecstatic reunion a few weeks ago. The minute the car pulled in the driveway that late Sunday afternoon, Ofie and Luby came racing from the trailer and their father from the milking parlor. Tyler thought they'd knock Mrs. Cruz over. They practically carried her back to the trailer, and Tyler and his dad agreed to finish up the milking with Armando so Mr. Cruz could just feast his eyes on his skinny wife.

But according to Mari, the stories Mrs. Cruz has been telling her husband about her captivity must be truly awful, because Mari is not allowed to even know what they are. “I hear them sometimes at night in the kitchen—my mother talking and crying, and my father crying right along.” Then, for days afterward, her father walks around with a fierce look in his eyes, his jaw tense, and his hands in fists. Any little thing and he blows up at Mari and her sisters. “It's really terrible at home,” Mari admits. “I mean, it's great that Mamá's back, but I thought, I don't know, I thought it would be different.”

Tyler nods. He knows exactly what she means. Maybe this is what grown- up life is all about? Sad and happy stuff all mixed together. His old hand- blinker routine no
longer works. He knows too much inside his own head. “You yourself said, Mari, you just have to be patient and wait,” he tries consoling her.

“I know,” Mari admits, but it doesn't seem to lift her spirits in the least to say so.

For Mother's Day, Tyler's whole family gathers at Grandma's for a big dinner, cooked by the men in the family. Halfway through the meal, the men start fessing up. It turns out that Uncle Larry picked up his spareribs at Rosie's. (“I knew it!” Aunt Vicky says, licking her fingers.) Dad bought the cake from the bakery at Shaw's, and Uncle Byron special- ordered the pâté from some shop in Burlington. (Everyone wolfs it down until Aunt Jeanne announces it's made of ducks’ livers.) Only Tío Armando actually made the refried beans. Meanwhile, Mr. Rossetti brought two twelve- packs of beer and a bottle of champagne that makes Grandma's cheeks turn pink like a girl's.

As they're all finishing the cake, Grandma clinks her water glass. “I have an announcement to make,” she says, grinning slyly.

Tyler tenses up. It hasn't been a full year yet. Much as he has gotten to really like Mr. Rossetti, Tyler is not prepared for him to be married to Grandma.

But that's not the news Grandma wants to share. “I'm going to Mexico!”

“By yourself?” Aunt Jeanne asks. Tyler can't tell if his
aunt is worried about Grandma going by herself to a foreign country or worried about her going to a foreign country with a man who is not Gramps.

“Of course not!” Grandma lets out an exasperated sigh. “Martha's going with me. We're taking the youth group to Chiapas. Alyssa's set it all up for us to work at the clinic where she volunteered.”

“But when are you planning on going?” Aunt Jeanne asks. Tyler is sure that whenever it is Grandma says she's going, Aunt Jeanne will find some Web site warning that it's the worst time to visit that part of Mexico.

“Summer sometime. We have to wait till all the kids are out of school.”

The guests are quiet, digesting the information. Mari whispers to her parents and uncle what is going on. Their faces flood with joy. The grandmother will be the guest of the family. She can stay at their new house built with the money they have been earning in America.

“Well, I think it's exciting and real special for the kids,” Grandma says. She sounds a little miffed that no one but her Mexican family seems especially happy about her plans. “I know Alyssa said it was a life- changing experience.”

“Who needs to change their life at our age?” Mr. Rossetti speaks up in that ornery tone of voice Tyler hasn't heard since town meeting night. “Elsie, what kind of cockamamie idea is this? I know it's no use trying to change your mind. But doggone it, I'm going with you to keep an eye on you.” It's a statement, but Grandma treats it like an application, one that might not be approved.

“Well, Joseph, not so fast there. It's a church trip, so you'd have to join up to go with us.”

A long look passes between them. Tyler's not sure how it will go. Mr. Rossetti coughs and takes a sip from his glass. “What's everybody looking at?” he barks at the table.

“Okay, okay. I'll join your darn church, for heaven's sakes,” he grumbles at Grandma once everyone looks away. It's not easy eating humble pie in public. And Mr. Rossetti has had to eat several pieces recently. At least Grandma sweetens them with her wonderful baking skills. Mr. Ros-setti is looking a little heavier and a lot healthier and hap-pier than he was back on town meeting night.

Now that Grandma has made her announcement, Ofie must feel like it's open season. “Guess what?” she asks the table. “Tomorrow's Mari's birthday! She's going to be twelve.”

Before you know it, everyone is singing “Happy Birthday.” Mari flashes her sister an annoyed look and bows her head, embarrassed.

Her mother leans over and whispers something in her ear. It must make her feel better because Mari nods, smiling.

“Mamá said Mari could pick anything she wanted for a present.” It's Luby's turn to report. Her two little dogs are asleep on her lap. Recently, Tyler has noticed that Luby will sometimes leave them at home instead of carting them everywhere. Maybe now that she's getting older, Luby realizes that two stuffed puppies are not going to protect her from the bad things that can happen. For some reason, this makes Tyler feel wistful for something he can't put his finger on.

“Guess what?” Luby continues. Of course, no one knows what they are supposed to be guessing about. “Mari picked a really pretty diary with a tiny key so she can lock it and we won't be able to read it!”

“You can't read!” Ofie reminds her little sister.

“Can too! I can read my name.
L'U'b'y. Luby.
I can read
d-o-g. Doggie.
I can read—”

“That's not reading,” Ofie cuts her off.

Mr. Cruz eyes the two quarreling sisters. Immediately, they stop.

Meanwhile, Tyler is wondering what on earth he can buy Mari at the last minute. He's got very little to spend. Most of his money is still out on loan to Mr. Cruz. But how about a special gift that doesn't cost anything? It's been a while since they had a stargazing session. The winter nights were just too cold to stand outside. But now the nights are mild and fragrant. The stars have shifted, and it's fun to find them reshuffled in the sky. Boötes, the herdsman, tracks the two bears with his dogs. Shy Virgo slips into view. The Big Dipper pours down its light. Leo, the lion, roars, glad to be king of the sky again.

The next day at school, Tyler stumbles upon a Web site where you can actually name a star for someone. And the best part is that it's free! You just print out the certificate.

Tonight, Tyler will set up his telescope on the hill behind Grandma's house and surprise Mari with the certificate. Then they can look at the star now officially named Mari Cruz. It's the coolest surprise ever!

Here's hoping the clouds lift—both for the sake of
planting the fields and for Mari's sake. She needs a scoop of blessings from that Big Dipper. She said as much to Tyler when she admitted it's been terrible at home. Tyler keeps reminding her what Gramps always told him: “Anytime you feel lost, look up.”

He'll write that on the back of the certificate, along with
Happy Birthday.
His mind snags on how he should sign off.
Love, Tyler
? All his card- writing life, he has signed that way, automatically. But now for some reason, the word
love
glows, like a star, still unnamed in his heart's sky.

Monday night, the clouds turn to rain. Tyler heads over to the trailer with his star certificate and an IOU for stargazing. He's surprised that today at school, Mari didn't mention any kind of celebration at home this evening. Come over for cake and soda. Come over and celebrate with the family. Come over, period.

But he can understand. Last Christmas when Felipe was in jail and Ben in trouble and Sara complaining that just because her brother was grounded, it wasn't fair to punish her, too, Tyler couldn't stand to be home or have friends over. He loved escaping to Grandma's or to the barn. If Mari's father is that upset all the time and her mother is still jumpy and waking up everyone at night screaming, Mari probably doesn't want to share her troubles with the rest of the world.

And yet, Tyler's not the rest of the world, or so he hopes. They've become special friends. Mari is someone he can talk
to about stuff he can't even talk to Grandma or Mr. Rossetti about. Growing- up stuff like how what used to seem so sim-ple is suddenly much more complicated. His mom has told him that being an adult is about navigating your way through choices and challenges using the North Star of your heart and conscience.

“But you're not alone, Tiger, honey,” Mom has told him, brushing his hair back out of his eyes like she's been doing since he was a little kid. “Your family, your parents, your teachers, we're all here to help you and guide you, mostly by example.”

That's the problem. The examples his parents are giving him are sometimes confusing and contradictory. Like how you can be a patriot and break the law. Or how you can say no eavesdropping and then listen at Sara's locked bedroom door to make sure she hasn't snuck in her new boyfriend, Mateo, a Spanish exchange student. If Tyler points out these contradictions, he gets scolded. “I don't want to hear an-other word from you, Tyler Maxwell Paquette,” his mom says. “You're out of order, son,” his dad adds sternly. End of discussion.

One thing Tyler has not mentioned to his parents is the exact details of picking up Mrs. Cruz in Durham. Sometimes when they pester him with questions about the trip, Tyler is at the point of confessing. But then he remembers his prom-ise to his aunt and uncle. Again he feels that welter of con-tradictory feelings, right and wrong so mixed in with each other that he's bound to do wrong even when he does the right thing. Besides, Sara has already warned him that if he
says a word, she will kill him. Just as he thought, by telling the truth he'll turn his sister into a murderer!

But with Mari, Tyler can talk and talk and feel heard. That's the best part. Otherwise it would be just too lonely for words: being a single, solitary human being for your whole single, solitary life!

“Hey, happy birthday,” he says when Mari opens the door. The TV is blaring in the background, Spanish news. The rain is coming down, but a small awning extends over the back steps, so Tyler can pull the certificate out from in-side his rain slicker without it getting wet. He's put cardboard on both sides and wrapped it up so it looks more special. “The second part of the present comes when it stops raining,” he explains. That about gives that part of the sur-prise away.

Mari unwraps the gift daintily like the paper's too valu-able to tear. If she only knew. Tyler found a bag with a pretty floral print stashed in the recycle bin. It does make a nice wrapping.

Mari glances over the certificate. She looks unsure what it is. “Thank you so much,” she says politely.

Tyler can't contain himself. “It's a star named after you!”

Mari's mouth drops open. She reads over the certificate carefully this time. Tyler rereads it himself for the ump -teenth time, but now with the added pleasure of sharing the surprise.

“But, Tyler,” Mari protests, “this must have cost a whole lot?”
Tyler is debating whether to tell her it was totally free when they hear her mother's voice calling from the living room: “Mari?” She wants to know who it is. Mari answers over her shoulder that it's Tyler, then something about her
cumpleaños,
which Tyler knows means her birthday.

“My mother says to invite you. Do you want to come in?”

Normally, Tyler would say sure, but some tension in Mari's face lets him know she doesn't really want him to ac-cept her mother's invitation.

“Maybe we can talk on the steps instead?” Mari offers more eagerly. The awning gives them some cover, and it's kind of nice being outside with a little light beaming a circle of warmth around them while the rain keeps falling. Tyler sits right down, but Mari has to ask for permission first, which her mom must grant, because she closes the door and plops herself beside Tyler with a big sigh.