Return to Shanhasson (25 page)

“Shut your filthy mouth, blackheart” she
ground out, shaking with fury. “The Gods have a purpose that we can never
possibly understand.”

Those words rang empty and dull to her
own ears. Once, she’d believed that love was the greatest gift of all. That was
before she’d watched her loves sacrifice their lives to ensure the Last
Daughter’s destiny was fulfilled.
Is this
all there is? Did I lose my heart and soul, only so I might take the High
Throne?

He stared up at her, his eyes shining in
the moonlight. Shadows peeled back enough for her to almost see his face. High
forehead and cheekbones created valleys of shadows where his silver eyes
gleamed. “I, too, have a purpose, brightheart, and I assure you, I refuse to
fail this time.”

“You bring the
tals
to kill me.”

“Not at all.
They
come to capture the White Dragon and sacrifice her into the
flaming pit of Agni, He Who Burns. If you die beforehand, none of us will be
named
azi
’Keldar.”

“And you?” She retorted, squeezing his
balls again. Her talons bit too deeply. The scent of blood wafted up from his
body, mingled with sandalwood and desert. Lady help her, her mouth watered at
the thought of licking that blood away. “Why do you come?”

He laughed. “You know why. Or will you
come first, brightheart? Your roses are nigh on fire.”

Strategy. Politics. She could ignore the
temptation of his body and blood if she kept her mind on the game. “If any of
your savages harm my people, my soldiers will ride you down like dogs.”

“You don’t have enough soldiers to stop
us from burning a path of destruction across those Green and Beautiful Lands
all the way to your Shining Walls.”

He was absolutely right. She’d seen the
massive Keldari encampment. She shuddered at the images of burning villages,
helpless screaming people mowed down by whooping savages swinging long sickle
blades on all sides. “The Shining Walls won’t burn, they won’t fall, and
they’ll never allow you into Shanhasson.”

He pushed himself harder onto her
talons. His breath hissed out with pain, but his eyes burned, his scent dark
and inviting. “Then I’ll fly over the Shining Walls to reach you.”

Releasing a howl of desperation, she
bent over and sank her teeth high on his inner thigh. Hard, vicious, deep, she
let her fear and anger blaze to brand him with her teeth, so close to his groin
that his erection rubbed her cheek. A scalding river poured into her, thick hot
blood, sultry with spice and shadows.

Oh,
Lady, his blood. I’m giving him a tie on my soul that I’ll never be able to
break.

Too late, she jerked back, but he seized
a handful of her hair and held her close. He freed his other hand from beneath
her knee, tumbling her against him. Dread twisted her stomach. He’d only been
playing with her. He could have thrown her off him at any time. Now, with both
hands buried in her hair, he dragged her deeper into the bond and the seductive
embrace of Shadow.

:You’ll
never be able to get me out of your heart now.:

Heart hammering, she drowned in
sensation. Black wings fluttered about her. Dunes slipped and crumbled beneath
them, entrapping her in a quagmire of desire and blood that she couldn’t
escape. His scent and blood roared through her body.

Both hands burned, talons inching
longer, sharper. Her spine twisted and cracked. Feathered wings strained inside
her. The White Dragon screamed, rolling in ecstasy, wallowing in his scent and
blood as he’d threatened, even while shivering in terror.

His blood pinned the dragon, too,
chaining its wings with a bond it could never out fly. Despite the horror
wheeling through her, she still felt the surge of lust in her body. Blood fed
her desire, winding in a death spiral until pleasure crashed through her.
Shuddering in his grip, she released his thigh to rub her face in his blood. It
was all she could do not to bite him again and again, rolling on him, drowning
in blood and sandalwood.

:Oh,
my love, my brightheart.:
His blood powered his mental voice
of black wings beating a restless frantic rhythm to reach her, no matter how
many miles of sand he must cross.
:The
best part of coming to you is never knowing if you’ll kill me or rut on me
first.:

She could feel his blood spreading
Shadow through her body, eating at her defenses until they crumbled like dust.
His blood pooled in her stomach cold and hard like a ball of poisonous lead.

Shaken, she threw herself away into
darkness, streaming through a night sky devoid of moon or stars. She fled,
uncaring that she was running, the very thing she despised most.
:Dharman!:

His bond fired within her and she raced
down that shining red lifeline. Sobbing, she slammed into him. His arms wrapped
around her, enclosing her in warmth and love that she didn’t deserve. “I’m
sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh,
na’lanna
,” he whispered, holding her tightly. “What happened?”

“I thought I could spy on him. I
thought…” She gulped and buried her face tighter into the curve of his neck,
trying to rid herself of the seductive spice of desert sands. “He has an army
near Far Illione, so vast I couldn’t count them. He’s coming to Shanhasson.
He’s coming for me. He said if he couldn’t burn down the Shining Walls, he’d
fly over to reach me.”

“Never.” Dharman’s arms tightened so
hard she couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t care. “He’ll never take you from us.”

Shivering, she clutched him harder.
“He’s inside me! He taunted me until I marked him. Oh, Dharman, his blood
spreads Shadow in me. He’s inside me!”

Falling to her knees, she wretched.
Dharman held her while she vomited, trying to rid her body of the blood, but it
was too late. The damage had been done.

“Lady help me,” she whispered, shivering
despite his chest against her cheek and his hand smoothing her hair. “He’s
inside me, listening, even now. I don’t have enough soldiers to keep him out of
the Green Lands. Lady above, I even sent him an invitation! What am I going to
do?”

“Go to the Tenth Camp. Go see your mates
and let them hold you until this fear is gone.”

She jerked her gaze up to Dharman’s. “I
tried. They won’t let me in.”

His eyes gleamed with surety and love.
“They will.”

Tears flowed again, shame strangling
her. She’d been so arrogant, so ridiculously stupid. Duped into letting her
greatest enemy get a foothold on her soul. Why was she tempted by any other
man—let alone one whose hands were surely stained with blood—when she had this
honorable warrior at her beck and call? When his honeycakes scent made her
stomach tighten and her heart flip flop? “I never meant—”

Dharman silenced her with a kiss so
sweet and gentle that she wet his hair with her tears. “Your Lady blessed you
well,
na’lanna
. I’m not jealous of
this other man, merely determined to skin him alive if he harms one hair on
your head. If you want him, I’ll see to it that you get him, and if he even
thinks about harming you, I’ll slit his throat and cut out his heart. That will
only be the beginning of his torment, for then Gregar and Rhaekhar shall have
him. Am I not your First?”

“Yes,
na’lanna
First Blood, but you can’t—”

“I can, and I shall.” He stood and drew
her up with him, leading her hand in hand up the jagged path cut into the black
mountainside. “Go to Rhaekhar. It’s beyond time for you to see him again. His
strength will restore yours; his love will soothe the turmoil tangling your
heart into knots.”

They reached the summit too quickly. Her
stomach churned, and she was afraid to look toward the green valley. If the
stone walls blocked the way, she’d fall apart. Maybe blackheart was right.
Maybe the Gods had locked her out, determined to use her until every last drop
of blood was sacrificed, wasted by her own people determined to see her dead.

Dharman drew her against his chest. His
heart beat steadily beneath her cheek, his scent warm and sweet, his arms
promising no dread threat of Shadow could ever harm her. “Close your eyes,
na’lanna
.”

What if the Shadow was inside her? How
could he protect her from the darkness spreading in her heart?

“Do you love me?”

“You know I do,” she whispered,
clutching him hard.

“Do you regret loving me? Is there shame
mixed with the love in your heart?”

The mark burned in her left breast. “No,
never.”

“Do you love Sal?”

“Yes.”

“Love clears the way for you. Shine with
love,
na’lanna
, and step into the
Tenth Camp. I’ll be waiting here for you.”

CHAPTER

FOURTEEN

EYES
CLOSED, SHANNARI TOOK A STEP. Dharman’s arms fell away, but she was afraid to
open her eyes. If she’d failed to cross into the Tenth Camp, she would simply
wither away and die. Hope burned, her heart pounding so hard she swayed. If she
could only see her beloved warriors again, and feel her sweet little girls’
arms around her neck…

:Take
one more step, my heart.:

Rhaekhar’s long-missed voice echoed in
her head, low and deep, aching with love and regret.

Holding her breath, she did so, and her
nose pressed against a broad, muscled chest. She smelled sweet hay of the
Plains, baking bread, leather, and horses. Her warrior. His arms came around
her and she sobbed all over again, messy tears and choking sounds of grief and
heartbreak. “You died. You left me!”

“Forgive me,
na’lanna
, but Vulkar Called me home.” Kneeling before her, he laid
his
rahke
on the ground before her.
“My heart is yours, Shannari dal’Dainari.”

Accusation sharpened her voice, rending
his heart, she knew, but she couldn’t stop the outpouring of emotion. “You
didn’t even fight. You didn’t even try to stay with me. You left me, alone, and
I had to leave my babies, too. I had to go back to Shanhasson
alone
!”

Lightly, he laid his fingers on top of
her heart. Dharman’s mark sent a jolt of sensation through her so strongly that
she sucked in her breath. “Never alone,
na’lanna
.”

She dropped her gaze. Despite her
assurances to Dharman, she still wasn’t sure if she could look Rhaekhar in the
eye with the knowledge that she’d taken her two Blood to her bed and made them
hers, without him at her back.

Rhaekhar laughed softly, a low rumble
that thrummed her spine. He brushed his fingers over Sal’s mark on her other
breast, and her knees buckled. “They were yours long before my death. Think you
I would be jealous after I swore to accept them in my blankets while yet
living? That I died should have only hastened them to your bed. Now kiss me,
na’lanna
, for it’s been an eternity
since I tasted your sweet mouth.”

She sealed her mouth over his. Lady
above, she would never forget the way he kissed: tender command, smoldering
warrior, conquering even her broken heart and taking her grief and pain as his
own. He drew her close and took her backwards so they lay on their sides facing
each other on the green grass. Stretched out beside her, he simply kissed her
until her tears dried, her stomach settled, and the steel returned to her
spine.

Pulling back, he smiled and traced his
fingers back and forth over her lips. “That’s better, my heart. Now tell me
whatever has troubled you so.”

As she told him about the Black Dragon
slithering in her dreams; his taunts and challenges that had helped her stay
alive even while Rhaekhar’s bond dragged her under; and lastly, the very worst
mistake she’d ever made in her life, his golden gaze narrowed.

“I marked him,” she admitted, bracing
for his reaction. “I tasted his blood.”

“Did he taste as good as me?” Rhaekhar’s
fingers wandered slow trails up and down her neck, between her breasts, down
her stomach. Without ever touching her intimately, he had her entire body
humming with pleasure. “Does he smell as good as me?”

“You know he doesn’t.”

“How about our Shadowed Blood?”

A cold weight settled against her back
and the rich, dark aroma of caffe told her Gregar had joined them. She
shivered. Cold shadows peeled away and she found herself sandwiched between
both warriors, skin to skin, heart to heart.

Tears burned her eyes. It had been so
terribly long since both her co-mates had held her. Unable to answer, she
simply shook her head.

“How about Dharman and Sal?” Gregar
whispered against her ear. “Does this blackheart smell and taste as good as
them?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?” Rhaekhar tipped her chin
up, holding her steady as he searched her gaze. “Your memory of his scent and
blood are very, very strong,
na’lanna
.
You had best acknowledge your feelings for him so your Blood may react accordingly.”

She swallowed hard, forcing herself to
face the truth. “At the very least, he’s dangerous, worse than anyone I’ve ever
known.”
And not yet killed with my own
hand.