Revelations (The Elysium Chronicles) (24 page)

“I’m an Enforcer,” I say without any emotion. “A monster.”

“No, Evie. Not a monster,” he says quietly.

“I killed those people. I’ve killed lots of people. All in the name of Mother’s ‘peace.’”

“Because Mother programmed you to do it. And Nick. Apparently.” He takes my chin in his hand and forces me to look at him. “You also saved me. And you tried to save Macie. You only killed the guards in self-defense and you stopped yourself from killing the innocent people in the hallway. That’s not a monster.”

There’s nothing to say to that.

“You’re not afraid? Of me?” I ask finally, averting my eyes.

He waits until I look back up at him before he shakes his head and smiles at me. “No. Never.”

Gavin pulls me into his arms again and kisses me. Gently at first, then more aggressively. As if he can’t help himself. And the minute of panic fades as if it was never there. The kiss has the effect that nothing else has—it warms my blood and soothes my soul. I don’t want it to stop.

Starshine veers and bumps into Asher’s horse, who nips at her and startles me awake. I stare around for a minute, lost as to where I really am. The dream felt so real, I could swear I’d really been there and not here.

And then I realize.

It wasn’t just a dream, it was a memory. A real memory. Not the stitched-together ones.

And I still remember it.

I smile as I savor it. It’s the first memory I’ve been able to keep. And it’s of him. My Gavin.

The smile fades when I remember I’ll never be able to tell him.

*   *   *

The final two hours are a misery. No matter what I do, I can’t get comfortable and we’ve only stopped long enough to rest the horses and fill our bellies and theirs before moving on again. I have no idea how they can keep up the pace, but they don’t so much as neigh a complaint.

When we finally pull up to the village, it’s dark with only the stars and moon to guide us. It looks just like it did before we left, and I almost expect to see Gavin waiting at the gates. But, of course, he’s not.

Asher jumps out when we get to the gate to talk to the guards. I watch as something passes between the two men; then the gates open and Asher signals me forward. The gates shut again behind us, while the guard stubbornly looks in the other direction and we continue into the village. Asher guides his horse to a stable like the one in Rushlake.

He helps me down and turns to our escorts when they step up to us. He talks with them for several minutes and, like with the guard, he hands something to the two of them. More bribes.

They promptly put it into their pockets and take the horses from us, while Asher guides me gently but firmly away.

It’s still quiet, with only the occasional howls from outside the gates that I now recognize as coyotes. I shudder, remembering how vicious they were and how lucky we’d been to avoid them this time. Then again, Asher had a shotgun like Gavin’s, so maybe it wasn’t luck at all. Maybe they just knew better.

Asher leads me through the village, past Gavin’s house. I don’t look at it; I do not want anything to stop me from what I’ve decided to do. It doesn’t take long before the lights from the village fade and our path is only illuminated by moon and starlight again. I glance up and watch the stars twinkle in their black canopy.

I’ll miss this. I stop and take a few minutes to savor it.

Asher turns when he realizes I’ve stopped and returns to my side. “We’ll see them again.” He sounds so sure, I almost believe him.

“Of course we will.” I shift so I’m looking at him.

He watches me for a moment, then turns and continues on. “We’d better hurry.”

Without saying a word, I follow.

We’re quiet the entire way to another large building. “Welcome to our boathouse,” he says, tossing out his hand in a grand gesture.

“Boathouse?”

“Well, that’s probably giving it too much credit.” I have to agree. It’s not much of a house at all. The wood has rotted away entirely in places. I’m not entirely confident the whole thing won’t collapse on top of us the minute we step inside.

The door is unlocked and Asher pulls it open with a squeal of hinges. The sound is deafening in the quiet. We hold our breath as we wait to see if the sound has given us away.

After a few minutes, it’s obvious no alarm has gone out, so we slip into the building. There, next to a rotting dock, is a shiny silver vehicle. It glows in the moonlight streaming through the holes in the roof.

“Here it is,” Asher says. “Dad hid it away in here after you and Gavin showed up in it. He had a bunch of guys from Rushlake studying it, but they never could figure out how to open it.” He shrugs.

Hesitantly I reach a hand out to the sleek silver machine and feel the cool metal and glass under my touch. I’m not sure what I expected, but nothing happens. Not even a hint of a memory.

Asher is watching me expectantly, so I shake my head. He lets out a breath. “Let’s just get this show on the road.”

“Road?” I frown. “Elysium is underwater.”

He laughs. “Just an expression.”

I turn my attention back to the boat, trying to locate the mechanism that will open the door. Asher kneels next to me, his thigh bumping mine as we run our fingers over the glossy surface.

After a few minutes, he straightens in triumph. “Here it is.” The glass top opens with a hiss.

I lift an eyebrow and he grins at me. “They never figured out how to open it, but I did.”

He turns and holds his hand out to help me up. I grasp it and let him haul me to my feet, wobbling slightly as the blood rushes from my head. “Why didn’t you tell them?”

“They never asked.” He looks away from me and I know that’s not the real answer.

“Evie!” a voice says behind Asher. Asher spins and I peer around him, my heart somersaulting in my chest.

Gavin is standing there, his skin pale in the moonlight.

I tug on Asher’s clothes. “Please,
please
, tell me you see Gavin, too. Please tell me I’m not just hallucinating.” My voice has a pleading, almost hysterical, edge to it.

Asher stares if he can’t believe his eyes, but then he shoves his hands into his pockets. He gives me this smile that I can’t decipher before he nods.

“I see him. He’s real.”

Even then, I can’t seem to make my legs move. Gavin’s breath is coming out in ragged gasps and he’s leaning over as he drags in more air, but he takes another step forward, tripping a little over his feet. “You’re all right. Please tell me you’re all right.”

This time I can’t stop myself—the desperation in the plea breaks through the shock and I rush to him.

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek in his hand. I lean into it, letting my eyes drift closed and breathing his scent like air. Then his lips brush mine, and my stomach flips, like it does every time I kiss him. There’s just something about that initial touch.

Then I’m pressing my lips harder against his and pulling him closer to me, as if even the tiniest space between us is too much. Tears flow down my cheeks, and he just keeps brushing them away with his thumbs.

Asher clears his throat, but I’m not ready to let go yet.

“Where were you?” My voice is still thick with tears and muffled in Gavin’s chest. “We thought you were dead.
I
thought you were dead.”

He’s silent for a long moment, but his voice is filled with emotion—regret, pain, terror—when he finally says, “I’m sorry, Evie. I’m so sorry.” He pulls me tighter to him and I don’t have the heart to make him tell me the whole story right now.

“How did you get here?” I decide to ask instead.

He rests his forehead against mine. “I thought I was going to be too late,” he whispers.

“I’m —” I start, but he interrupts me.

“I can’t believe you just took off with him.” He glares at Asher. “What were you thinking? I told you what it’s like down there. You can’t go down there.
She
can’t go back. Mother will
kill
her. The nanos—”

Asher cuts him off. “Grandma told us about them. They’re broken. And Eli—”

“Eli is dead,” Gavin says. He glances down at me. “We saw him die, Evie. In Mother’s diary. There was a link to a video. It showed the lead scientist, Eli, being killed by his nanos. Him and the majority of his sector.”

I knit my brows together, my eyes searching his face. “That can’t be true.”

He hugs me. “It is. I’m sorry.”

“Even if it is,” Asher says. “There has to be someone there that can help.”

Gavin gently pushes me away. “Are you stupid? There’s no one there to help her. The only thing you’ll find there is death.” His eyes are wild. I can see his pulse racing.

“Gavin, calm down.”

He takes me by the shoulders. “No. Not until you say you’re not going to go.”

I want to say I’ll stay. For him. To make him happy. But I can’t, because I’d only be staying for him. And that’s not right for either of us. Closing my eyes, I say, “No, Gavin, I’m not. I made up my mind and I’m going to Elysium. They’re the only ones who can help me.”

“There’s not anyone who
can
help you. Eli’s gone. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mother killed everyone who worked on nanos. The minute you set foot back in that freak show, Mother is going to be all over you like white on rice. We barely escaped last time. I’m not letting you go.”

Anger makes my heart beat faster. I lift my chin. “Letting me? You don’t
let
me do anything. I choose. Me. Not you. And I
choose
to go to Elysium.” He opens his mouth, but this time I don’t let him speak. “I
have
to go back. I’m tired of having bits and pieces thrown at me, and not being able to hold on to any of them.” I take his hands in mine. “I just … I don’t belong here. I’ve felt lost since I got here.”

He squeezes his eyes shut. “I know. But going back isn’t going to help you.”

“It might. I have to try.”

Gavin turns to Asher, his eyes feverish. He starts pacing, his movements short and jerky, to Asher and then back to me. He’s muttering something to himself, a look of intense concentration on his face, and it terrifies me. I’ve never seen him like this.

I don’t see it coming until it’s too late. Gavin throws himself at Asher. The two fall onto the wood dock and it makes an ominous creaking sound. Before I can do anything more than avoid being pulled down with them, Gavin swings his arm back and throws his fist into Asher’s face.

Despite the shock of being tossed onto the ground, Asher throws his own punch, and pretty soon the boathouse is filled with the sounds of Gavin and Asher fighting.

“Hey. Stop!” I whisper-yell. Of course that doesn’t do anything, so I step closer. “Asher! Gavin! Stop it. You’re going to give us away. Stop it!”

Nothing. Hoping for the best, I step into the fray and try to pull them apart. But it’s as if they don’t even see me, and I get a fist to the side of my head for my trouble. My vision swims with red and black spots. I’m not sure which one did it, but Asher immediately stops, his eyes glued to my face.

“Evie, are you okay?” he asks, but Gavin evidently hasn’t noticed what happened, and takes advantage of Asher’s distraction to hit him in the face again. Asher tries to brush him off and stand, but Gavin keeps coming.

Suddenly there’s that click in my head again, and all the pain I’m feeling disappears. My vision clears and the hatred on Gavin’s face is clearly visible.
Surface Dwellers are dangerous.

I grab him by the shoulder and spin him around. Shock widens his eyes when he sees me, but before he can do anything more than that, I punch him in the stomach. His breath whooshes out with an
oomph
and he bends over, clutching his abdomen. Then I straighten my hand and chop him in the back of the neck. Not too hard, just enough to knock him out.

He immediately falls to the ground, out cold. It’s as if a light is switched off, and I fall to my own knees as all the strength and energy I just had pours out of me. Asher kneels next to me.

“Are you all right?” He presses a hand to the side of my face and I hiss. He makes a face. “That’s going to bruise. It’s already turning colors. Come on.” He shoots a disgusted look to Gavin. “We’d better go before he comes to.”

Repulsed by what I did, I say, “We can’t just leave him here. He could be hurt.
I
could have hurt him.” My stomach rolls. What is
wrong
with me?

Asher opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, but then stops when he sees my face. He sighs. “Fine. He’ll just have to come with.” He smirks. “Boy is he going to be pissed when he wakes up and realizes where we are.”

That only makes me feel worse. Asher sighs again, then helps me to my feet. “Let’s get you in first.” He helps me into the seat next to the driver’s seat, before unceremoniously dragging Gavin through the hatch until he’s crumpled onto the floor behind us.

“Asher!” I chastise, but he only skirts around Gavin to go to the console.

I rush to Gavin and kneel beside him, adjusting him so he’s not just piled onto the floor like so much unwanted rubbish. Brushing the hair out of his face, I see dark shadows under his eyes, not to mention a slew of other bruises, cuts, and scrapes, some of them in the process of forming because of his altercation with Asher just now. And there’s an ugly yellow bruise peeking out from under the collar of his dirty and torn T-shirt. I tug it down to see that the bruise covers pretty much his entire shoulder and upper right chest. Guilt tears at me for knocking him out, but it wars with relief and utter joy at seeing him again. Alive. Knocked out because of me, and pretty beat up, but alive.

“Better get buckled up, Evie. This will probably be a bumpy ride,” Asher says, startling me. I’d all but forgotten he was there.

At first, I consider ignoring Asher, but then I realize if I do lose my balance and fall, I’ll land on Gavin, causing more harm.

I press a gentle kiss to his forehead and run my fingers along the side of his face, before sighing and pushing myself up to walk to my seat and buckle up.