Revenence: Dead Silence, A Zombie Novel (16 page)

"You done good with every other weapon I put in your hand," she had said.  "I'm sure you'll be usin' it like an old pro in no time."

The rotting undead woman was one of roughly a dozen, scattered over about a fifty yard stretch of the road.  She steadied herself, situated the crosshairs on the middle of the woman's head, and squeezed the trigger, watching as the body crumpled lifelessly to the ground.  She aimed at the next closest one, and frowned. 
That shirt looks familiar.
  She squinted, frowning. 
And the movement isn't really zombie-like.  Is that...?

She ran back into the loft, where she found Jon and Cindy sitting on the couch together, reading to Timothy.

"You guys, when's the last time you saw Stephanie?" she asked, breathing heavily in her sudden panic.

"About twenty minutes ago," Cindy said, confused.  "She said she was going to see the horses.  Why?"

"Because I think she's on the road, getting ready to walk into a crowd of zombies," Shari said hurriedly as she took her car keys from a hook on the wall, all but jumping down from the loft into the garage.  She vaguely heard Cindy start after her.

She started the car and made a right onto the road, hoping she wasn't too late. 
Even if a person does want to kill themself,
Shari thought,
feeding yourself to zombies is a really bad way to go.
  She saw that Stephanie was about ten yards away from the crowd of undead.  Shari pulled up next to her, opening the passenger side window.

"Get in!" she said through gritted teeth.  Stephanie seemed unaware of her presence at first.  She stared off toward the horizon, eyes red, tears flowing down her puffy face.  "
Get in!"
Shari repeated.  She glanced at the undead shuffling in their direction.  They were now about fifteen feet away.  She put the car in park, preparing to get out and throw the suicidal young woman into the passenger seat.  Before she could open the door, she saw Jon speed past her in his truck.  He plowed into the crowd, taking six of them out in one straight shot.  The bodies went flying into the ditches to either side, some of their festering body parts coming off in the process.  A well-rotted hand landed on Shari's windshield, spraying putrid juices across the glass.  Jon reversed, running over another two....only one was left.  He put the truck into drive once again, eliminating the last zombie in the roving herd.

Cindy got out of the passenger side of the truck, slamming the door.

"What the
fuck
were you trying to do, Steph?" she demanded.

Stephanie started bawling.  "It's all just hopeless," she blubbered.  "I can't live like this."

"Like
what
?" Cindy demanded.  "You're lucky enough to be in one of the few places that we know is safe, you have food and water, somewhere to sleep and shower--and you try to
kill
yourself? 
Badly
, I may add!"

"The world is never gonna be the same," Stephanie said flatly, shaking her head and looking Cindy square in the eye.  "I don't know what we're even living for anymore.  What's the point?  How long do you want to be cooped up in a loft, with nothing to look forward to ever again?"

Cindy looked at her in disbelief.  "How long do I want to be in that loft?  As long as I wake up every morning, or as long as it takes until it's safe to go out again, that's how long!  Do you know how many people would have loved to be in your shoes, to have a chance to survive?  And you want to throw it away?"  She scoffed.  "That's as selfish as it gets."  She turned away, getting back into the truck.  "Let's go, Jon."  Shari was surprised...Cindy had actually impressed her for once. 
I'm glad she said it, 'cause I didn't wanna have to be the one. 
She turned to Stephanie. 

"You want that ride now?" she asked.  The two of them got into the car, and they drove back to the house with Jon and Cindy behind them. 

"She doesn't know what it's like to be in my head," Stephanie said.  "I wasn't hurting anyone else.  Maybe she likes living like this, but I don't."

"If you don't appreciate life, then no one is going to change your mind," Shari said indifferently, turning into the driveway.  She saw Stephanie turn to look at her out of the corner of her eye, her eyes full of surprise at Shari's response. 

When they got out of the car, Stephanie approached her sister, hugging her. 

"I'm sorry," she said.  "I didn't mean to hurt you, or make you worry."  The four of them climbed back up into the loft, where Fauna was keeping an eye on Timothy.  The two of them were looking at an astronomy book together.

"Welcome back," she said to Stephanie.  "I imagine you won't be pulling a stunt like that again anytime soon?"  Stephanie shook her head and went to out to the balcony, sinking into one of the loungers.

"She's only nineteen," Cindy said.  "I don't think she was mature enough to deal with any of this.  She was a mama's girl, and she's facing the fact that our mother is most likely gone."

"Well," Fauna said, looking out the balcony doors where Stephanie sat,  "if she's suicidal, we'll have to keep an eye on her.  She shouldn't be alone at any time.  Not even just for her own sake...if she does somethin' to herself while we're in this loft with her...."  She glanced in Timothy's direction.  "She may well put all of us in danger, too."

"I don't think she would do that," Cindy said.  "I agree we should watch her, though."

Shari went into the kitchen to start dinner. 
I wonder if she thinks she's the only one who's lost people
, she thought. 
Selfishness is alive and well in the apocalypse
.

She was always submissive by nature.  She didn't see how succumbing to the zombies was any different than succumbing to Cindy's wishes, or succumbing to the will of an abusive father, or a controlling boyfriend.  She was always doing what others wanted of her...and the zombies wanted, overwhelmingly, to eat her.  She was never any good at asserting herself, putting her foot down, and she didn't feel the gumption to start now.  Giving in was, invariably, easier than putting up a fight. 
Cindy got the fighting gene, and I got the push-over gene.
 

She cast her thoughts back to the previous November.  She had been dating Paul for about five months when she came home with large, shiny dark purple bruises on her legs, speckled with little yellow and green dots.  Cindy noticed it when she accidentally saw Stephanie changing her pants. 

"What the hell is that?" she demanded.

"What the hell is what?" Stephanie mumbled, eyes down, fumbling to put her jeans on.

"What do you think?" Cindy snapped, snatching the jeans away.  "Those huge bruises on your legs, how did you get those?  Did Paul do this?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes, sighing.  "Look, it's not a big deal, alright?  It's the first time it happened, and he said it won't happen again."  She looked down at the floor, silent for a few seconds.  "He's got a lot going on right now, I stressed him out...he didn't mean to, okay?"

"Don't be stupid," Cindy chastised.  "It never happens just once!  It'll get worse, you hear me?  I'm telling you, I've seen this happen to a lot of my friends, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let it happen to my baby sister."

Stephanie had experienced an odd feeling that she couldn't quite articulate.  On the one hand, she had a boyfriend trying to control her...and on the other hand, her sister who was forever dominating her.  There was no way to succumb to both of them.  Although she knew her sister was righteously concerned, it made her angry at her for putting her in a situation where she didn't know what to do.  She felt as if she were being pulled in two directions, and as she found it too difficult to pull back from one side or another, she felt it would simply tear her in two.  It turned out that she didn't have to decide whether to stand up to Paul or her sister.  Cindy had talked Jon into intimidating him.  It must have worked, because Stephanie never heard from Paul again after that.

Sitting on the balcony, she snapped back into the present.  Her sister wanted her to live, but there was also the tidal pull of rotting cannibals who would never make living easy.  They were a force of nature in the new world.  She knew there was only one way to alleviate the pressure she felt. 
I'll just have to make sure that this time, they don't know what I'm doing until I've already done it.

"I'm gonna go for a ride," she had told Fauna.  "Get some fresh air."

"Bring your bow if you're goin' alone!" Fauna had called from the kitchen as Shari descended the ladder.

"Of course!" she had called back.

She turned to grab a saddle, and saw Jon had come in.

"You're always sneaking up on me!" she said, startled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said.  "So...are you dead-set on going alone, or can I come with you?"

She eyed him with mock suspicion.  "You ever rode a horse before?"

"A couple times, yeah," he said.  "But I figure I should brush up on my riding, since I might need to do it one of these days."

"Good point," Shari said.  "I'll show you how to dress the horse, and we'll be on our way."

Once both horses were ready, they opened the corral gate and rode the horses out. 

"Wait here for a sec'," Shari said.  She closed the barn door to protect the one horse who remained inside.  Lately, they only let the horses out into the corral if somebody was keeping a direct eye on them.  It seemed that as the zombies had fewer and fewer people to eat, they had warmed up more to the idea of animals.  They had caught a couple trying to get into the corral, and the previous week Shari had watched through the sight of her crossbow while two zombies mauled and ate a dog a half-mile down the road.

She jogged back over to her horse, mounted it, and they set off to the north.

"Good day for riding," Jon said after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"Yeah."

"You know, to be honest," he said,  "I had to get out of the house."

"Why is that?" Shari asked. 
I bet I know why.

"Cindy, she was getting under my skin.  Ever since Stephanie tried to feed herself to the zombies the other day, it's like...it's like Cindy's been on the offensive.  She's usually overbearing with her sister, but she's had no choice but to lay off of her...doesn't want to push her over the edge, you know?  So I've been bearing the brunt of it.  And let me tell you, she doesn't hold back with me."  He sighed heavily.  "It's just so hard...I mean, we never know what's going to happen from one day to the next, especially nowadays...and it's heartbreaking when someone you love, someone who carried and gave birth to your child, gives off nothing but negativity.  Nothing but negative, when there's already so much of it in the world."

The sky was bright and clear, the air crisp and cool.  The days were getting shorter again, gradually but steadily.  It was an early reminder that fall was coming.  The late afternoon sun in its western decline cast long shadows stretching eastward, shadows of the tall grass and of Shari and Jon on their horses.  Shari breathed in deeply.  The air had a distinct freshness compared to what she was used from before the apocalypse, even out in the country. 
The earth is gradually detoxing,
she thought,
without society around to poison it. 

"I'm sorry she has to be that way," Shari offered lamely.  It was true, though...she felt for Jon, and for his son.

"It could be worse," he said.  "At least we're all alive.  Besides, maybe she'll chill out eventually."

"I hope so," Shari said.  They approached the northeastern side of the property, with the creek as its border.  Fauna and Mitchell had set up a yard swing facing the creek, bordered by colorful summer perennials.  "Let's sit for a minute before we go back," she suggested, dismounting and walking over to the swing.  Jon followed behind her.

"I love this spot," Shari said, lighting up a smoke as she sat down.  "Perfect spot to just sit and unwind."  She set her bow on the swing to her left.  Jon sat down to her right.  He let out a long, deep sigh.

"Cindy's not gonna be happy that I just took off," he said.  "But I'm to the point where I don't even care.  You know what she said to me before I left?"  Shari looked at him questioningly.  "She said that--"  He laughed bitterly.  "She can't believe she's stuck with me for the rest of her life, then went on to say something along the lines of, 'I guess I don't have a choice though, seeing as you're one of the last men left alive.'  Can you believe that shit?  It's almost like she thinks she's doing me some kind of favor, or something.  She wouldn't be alive if it weren't for me, and neither would Timothy.  And how does she thank me?  By basically acting like I'm a thorn in her side."