Revenge Of A Band Geek Gone Bad (30 page)

She hugged me again.  "Thanks.  I'm glad I'm not alone."

###

I crept into Josh's room, bracing myself for the worst.  When I finally saw him, I gasped.  Josh was swathed in casts and bandages; the parts of him that were visible were covered in cuts and bruises.  Tubes stuck out of his nose and hand, and he was also hooked up to a heart monitor.  He looked so vulnerable -- and young.  Not at all like the person who'd ruled the stage at the Dew Drop Inn or had no fears about joining a mariachi band on the subway.

I stood in the doorway for a moment, willing myself not to freak out,
then
made my way over to his bed.  I gently took his one un-bandaged hand in mine and brushed a stray lock of his hair off of his forehead.  He stirred.

"Mel?" he rasped, opening an eye.

"Yeah, it's me," I said, softly.  "Don't try to talk.  You were hurt badly.  You need to take it easy."

"I'm so glad you're here," he murmured.  "A car hit me."

"I know, I was there."
  I stroked his hand.

"What about the concert?" he worried.  "You're missing it."

I looked down at my watch and was shocked to see how late it was.  I guess I was missing it, I realized.  Then again, Mr. Francis and pretty much the entire wind ensemble were in the waiting room, so it probably didn't matter.

"I think the concert's been canceled," I said.

"Oh."  He began to fall asleep,
then
suddenly grabbed my arm. 
"Valentine's Day!"
 
he
said.  "Our date..."

"It's okay," I assured him.  "We'll just go on it when you're feeling better.  You're
gonna
be alright soon enough."
I
was having enough trouble convincing myself of this, but I refused to let him see how upset I was.

"It's better with you here."  He was falling asleep again.  "It's always better when you're with me."

"That's right, go to sleep," I whispered.  "Just relax."

"That car that hit me -- what kind was it?" he asked, dreamily.  "The cats outside are dancing."

"Whatever they gave you must be strong." I said.  "I don't remember what kind of car it was."

"I feel like I'm floating
... "
he muttered.

"Go to sleep," I urged again.  "I'm going to take care of you and get you through this.  I promise."

He clutched my hand in his.  "Mel, please don't leave me.  Please stay.  I need you."  He closed his eyes.

"I'll be right here," I said, kissing him softly on his lips and forehead.  "I'm not going anywhere." 

As I sat there holding his hand, I feared that he'd never recover.  I promised myself that if he did, I'd be more open with him about my feelings and I'd also try to make some changes for the better.  If he survived, I thought -- no,
when
he gets
better, I corrected -- I'd tell him the truth: that I was in love with him and had never felt that way about anyone.

"I love you, Josh," I said out loud.  But he was too out of it to even hear me.

CHAPTER 19

The next morning, I awoke to find my dad shaking me.  "Mel, Mel," he whispered.  My eyes flew open and I realized I'd fallen asleep in the chair next to Josh's bed.  "I asked if you could stay," my dad explained at my puzzled expression.  He helped me up.  "But you should go to school now.  I think getting out of here for a few hours will do you some good."

I nodded and stretched, then lingered by Josh's bed for a moment.  He was still dead asleep.  I debated kissing him,
but  didn't
want to wake him.  Instead, I crept out of the room as softly as I could.  My dad was waiting for me.  "I'll drive you to school," he offered, slinging his arm around my shoulder.  He handed me a granola bar and a clean change of clothes.  "But make sure you eat something."

"Thanks," I said, leaning against him.  "And thanks for arranging for me to stay there.  That woman Madeline wouldn't even let me see him yesterday until I threatened her with you."  I looked up at my dad.  "Sorry.  I hope you're not mad that I used your name."

"Please, don't worry about it," he sniffed.  "I know Madeline.  She's such a
hardass
."

###

The rest of the day went by in a blur.  Everywhere I went, people stopped to share their concern or check up on Josh.  By the end of the day, I was so
exhausted,
I almost fell asleep in my history class.  I appreciated that so many people wanted to be there for me, but felt obligated to stay strong and give everyone hope.  Trying to keep up the pretense of being cheerful and optimistic took a lot of concentration.

When I got to band, Mr. Francis was waiting for me. 
"How you doing, kiddo?"
 
he
asked.  "
You holding
up, okay?"

"I feel like I'm drowning," I admitted.  The words came out in a rush.  "I don't think I've stopped talking about Josh all day.  And of course, I can't stop thinking about him."  Whenever someone asked me about him, I flashed back to him in his hospital bed.  I tried to remind myself of other images of him —- like him kissing me for the first time in Central Park —- but my mind always returned to the image of him hooked up to tubes.

Mr. Francis plopped down in the seat next to mine.  "Well, please don't stress yourself out in this class," he said.  "Just relax, don't play if you don't feel like it."  He smiled.  "You can even take a nap."

I couldn't help giggling.  "You know, I
never
though
I'd hear you say that in
your class."

"I'm just full of surprises this week, huh?"

"But what's going to happen with our concert?"  I asked.  "It didn't happen last night,
did
it?"

"No," he said.  "Everyone worked together to make some emergency calls and explain that it wasn't going on."  He shrugged.  "Postponing it won't be too big of a deal.  We could use the practice, anyway."

"I think I can use some practice," I told him.  I began to put my flute together.  "It'll be nice to get my mind off of everything, even for a little while."

A few minutes later, Kathy arrived.  She looked a lot better than she had the day before; the dark circles under her eyes had disappeared and the color had returned to her cheeks.  She was even wearing a new outfit: tight, tan pants and a blue sweater.

After she put down her music, she hesitated for a moment,
then
turned to me.  "Hey," she said softly.  Her voice sounded different to me and it took me a second to figure out what it was: it was laced with sincerity.  "I'm sorry about what happened to Josh.  That really sucks."

"Thanks," I replied.  I paused for a minute.  "Well, I'm uh, sorry about what happened with Ken."

She winced for a second, but then regained her composure.  "Oh yeah,
that
," she said.  "I'm probably better off."

"Probably," I agreed.  I could see that she wasn't eager to discuss Ken, especially not with me, but I still needed to ask her one thing.  "Kathy, do you ... do you know why he and Josh were fighting over that camera?  The one Josh ran into the street to get?"  I really didn't want to revisit the incident, but was haunted by the vision of Josh getting hit by the car.

She sighed and shrugged.  "Honestly, Mel, I have no idea," she said.  She shook her head.  "But to tell you the truth, I don't think I understand anything about guys anymore."

###

That afternoon, Lana and Lenny joined me when I went to visit Josh.  This time, thanks to Lily and my dad intervening, we had no problems getting past the front desk.

"I hate hospitals," Lana said as we walked toward the elevators.  She wrapped her arms around herself.  "They're so cold and impersonal ...
"  She
shuddered. "...
and
dead
."

"Dude, I know what you mean," Lenny said, taking her hand.  "But like babies are born here and stuff, too, so that's a good thing."

"I guess you're right."

"I don't like hospitals, either, but Josh needs us," I told them.  "Lily thinks that seeing his friends will help; that it'll cheer him up, make things seem a little more normal.  So we have to try to be strong, act like we're at least okay," I finished.  "You guys can do that, right?"

"Sure," they agreed.

Once upstairs, I walked right into the room where Josh was sleeping, but Lenny and Lana lingered in the doorway.  Lana had tears in her eyes.  Lenny looked like he was going to throw up.  "Whoa," he whispered to me.  "Mel, I don't know if I can do this.  Dude, he looks
so
bad."

Josh
did
look pretty awful.  His face was thin and drawn and the number of tubes stuck in him seemed to have doubled overnight.  I knew, though, that we'd make him happy.

"He needs us," I repeated, practically dragging them over to the bed.  Josh awakened at the commotion.

"Hey," he drawled, raising his head so he could see his visitors.  With his good hand, he patted the bed next to him.  I sat down, trying not to jostle him. 

"How
ya
doin
' Humpty Dumpty?"
Lana asked, feigning cheerfulness.  She reached over me and
tussled
Josh's hair.

Josh giggled,
then
clutched his side in pain. 
"
Owww
.
  Laughing hurts.  I don't know.  They're giving me some powerful stuff, so I can't feel much.  I'm almost entirely numb."

Now it was Lenny's turn to fake a laugh.  "HA-HA, Josh, man, we're just happy you're alive."

Josh grinned.  "Do you really think I'd die at school?  Give me some points for creativity."

"Dude, I know what you mean," said Lenny.  "When I die, I want it to be surfing an awesome wave or flying around in a tornado or running from a bull..."

"Oh my God, guys, can we please stop having this morbid conversation?" Lana said.  "Let's talk about something, anything else!"  She took Lenny's hand.  "Len, why don't you tell Josh about the video game you borrowed from
Chaz
?"

"Cool."  Josh looked from Lenny to Lana.
"You?
 
And you?
  When did
this
happen?"

"Christmas break."  "Yesterday," they answered at the same time.

"Well, we kissed at Jan's party, but we officially decided to date last night," Lana explained.  She looked at me.  "Mel, please don't be angry with me for not telling you.  I just figured you were, you know, busy."  She nodded to Josh.

"Oh, that's okay.  I'd figured you'd hooked up at Jan's."

"Okay then."  Lana shifted.  "Um, so how long do they expect you to be here?"

"Not long," Josh said. 
"A few weeks.
  But I'm
gonna
be out of school for a while.  Then, I'll have to use a cane for a bit."  He sighed.  "I'm
gonna
look like a little, old man."

"Or Mr. Peanut."
Lana said.

"Nah, Mr. Peanut uses the cane as a fashion statement," he said.  "If he really wanted to, he could boogie down as well as any of us.  In my case, I won't have that option."  He frowned.  I squeezed his hand.

"Is there anything we can do?" Lana asked quietly.  "I mean, can we bring you any books or food or ... anything?"

"You
wanna
help me use the bed pan?" Josh teased.  "It'll be the thrill of your life."

Lana grinned.  "I'll let that go because I know that
was the drugs
talking."

Josh turned to me.  "I'm counting on
you
to give me my sponge baths."  He smiled.

"Of course," I said.  "And if you're good, I might even give you one
after
you've
recovered."

Josh beamed and winked at Lenny.  "See, Lenny?  What can I say?  Being an invalid has its perks."

###

We left the hospital when Lily arrived; she'd switched shifts at the diner so she
could stay overnight.  After, Lenny, Lana and I headed to Steam Dreams for a snack.

"Ladies, this is on me," insisted Lenny as he set down three lattes.  He slumped into one of the oversized chairs.  "Man, the hospital -- what a drag," he sighed.  "
It's
amazing how one place can just suck out all the fun."

"Josh was happy to see us, so it was worth it," I said.

"Yeah."
  He stared into space.  "Mel, did Josh ever tell you about the time we crashed the wedding in New York City?"

"No," I answered.  I didn't really feel like talking, but Lenny seemed so eager to keep the mood light.  I gave in.  "Go ahead.  What did you guys do?"