Revive Me (5 page)

“What’s your poison, baby girl?” A guy with a bright purple mohawk asked, walking forward with a bottle of alcohol in each hand. He tipped both bottles my way, grinning, and showing me a row of crooked teeth.

“Uh vodka?” I answered, reading the label on the clear bottle. Vodka, I’d had that before. I could handle that.

“Hell to the yeah!” the guy shouted, grabbing a stack of shot glasses and filling them up to the rim with the translucent liquid.

Reese swiped two glasses and handed one to me. “Drink up, pretty,” he said, raising his glass in the air. “Cheers bitches!”

Everyone, except for me, repeated his words and downed their shots. I hesitated; my glass still filled to the rim while everyone smacked theirs against the table. I gripped the glass in my hand firmly and rested the rim at the top of my mouth before slowly tipping it forward. The alcohol flowed from the glass slowly and smacked into my tongue, awakening every taste bud. The taste of my first drink still lingered in my mouth, and my throat screamed as I mixed it with the vodka. It burned its way down and started a fire at the pit of my stomach. I coughed a few times and instantly knew why Tanner had refused to let me take shots.

“Let’s do another!” I yelled, the alcohol changing its course to my head. The shot hurt, but was exhilarating, giving me an adrenaline rush.

I flinched as Reese’s hand elevated up my shirt, brushing against my side, and cupped my breasts over my bra. My gut screamed at me, telling me this was not okay, but my brain ignored it. I shivered uncomfortably at his caresses. He squeezed harder, taking it as the opposite of the signal I was trying to send. I slammed my eyes shut and slowly opened them as my head started to spin lightly. If anyone noticed him groping me, they didn’t act like it. They just continued their drinking and chain smoking.

“You heard the girl,” he shouted. “Pour us another damn round!” Another shot was shoved in my hand, and I swallowed it down with everyone else this time.

“Is this helping to get your mind off shit?” Reese asked, his chilly hand still roaming my bare skin. I trembled, leaning back into his chest, and he took that as an invitation. “I knew it would.” His hand groped my boob one more time before venturing its way to the clasp on my back.

I froze, the high of my night suddenly dissolving, as dread and reality spread through me. I didn’t want his hands on me. I’d come here to get wasted and clear my head. Sex wasn’t going to numb me. Alcohol was.

“How about another?” I asked promptly, shouting the words without thinking. I needed him to slow down. If his hands were busy taking a shot, they wouldn’t be on me.

The next shot tore straight through me, and I realized it was working. I felt weightless, dazed, and empty. This time when Reese touched me, I allowed it, sinking deeper into his chest, and out of my head.

“You’re skin is so soft,” he rasped, his hands going to the waistband of my jeans. “You have no idea how incredibly sexy you are when you let yourself be free. Be free, Tessa, and I promise you the hurt will stop.”

I quivered as chills broke out along my arms. My eyes drifted open, and I noticed everyone’s attention was now focused on us. My stomach did a somersault as bile crept its way up my throat.

“I need to use the bathroom,” I said, pulling away from him and pushing up to my feet. He caught me before I fell on the floor and helped me balance myself. Why did I feel like I was riding on a Merry Go Round?

“Fuck babe, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to move too fast with you, I promise. You were just sitting here on my lap, your ass rubbing against my cock, and I couldn’t help myself.” He swept a hand over his tortured face.

“No!” I quickly corrected. My stomach rumbled again. “You’re, uh, fine, with whatever you were doing. I just really need to go to the bathroom.”

“Down the hallway to the left, sweetheart,” Bobby said, pointing a finger in the direction.

“You want me to go with you?” Reese asked.

I shook my head. “I’ll be fine.” I cautiously turned around and walked down the hallway, using the walls to help me walk in a straight line, or at least hold me up. I stopped in front of two girls standing outside the door laughing as they showed each other their phones.

I pointed to the door. “Is this the bathroom?”

“Sure is,” one of the girls answered, “but it’s probably going to be awhile.” The other laughed as I tilted my head at them. That’s when I heard it. The loud grunts and heavy moans coming from the other side of the door. Just freaking great. Weren’t there bedrooms around here?

“Is there another bathroom?” I asked, leaning against the wall to hold my balance. She shook her head. “Thanks,” I muttered, leaving them and shoving my way through the crowd.

My stomach continued its assault on me, and I stumbled down the porch steps to the side of the house just in time. My throat burned as bile swept up and my head spun faster. I rolled it in circles, feeling the sweat begin its journey down my forehead, and bent forward again to empty my stomach until there was nothing left to dispel. I collapsed onto the dirty ground and settled my back against the siding of the house while wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. That extra shot wasn’t such a great idea. Actually, none of the shots were a good idea. I needed to find a way to keep the detached feeling without suffering the vomiting aftermath.

“I just want to go home,” I cried out to the dark night. There was no way I was going to try to drive myself, but there was also no way I was asking Reese. He was in worse condition than I was. I pulled my phone from my front pocket, practically tipping over in the process, and dialed Tanner’s number without thinking. I used my shoulder to help balance the phone against my ear as I listened to the booming sound coming from the other end. The call kicked into voicemail and more bile seeped up at the sound of his voice. I ripped the phone away from my ear, slammed my finger against the end button, and pounded it against the ground. I jerked to the side, gagging, as my body tried to heave up anything left in my stomach. None of us had the strength to disconnect his phone, so I kept paying the bill each month.

My throat scorched like fire when the tears started. I couldn’t keep up with all of the sensations swirling through my body, through my mind, that created the chaotic mess that was me. “Damnit!” I cursed, gripping my phone, and hitting the one name I dreaded to call.

“Hello?” the sleepy voice answered on the second ring.

“Dawson!” I cried out, my voice breaking on the last syllable of his name.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly panicked.

“I … I don’t know,” I answered honestly. I didn’t know how to explain to him what was wrong. I was drunk. I was sad. I was sick. I was lost. I couldn’t pick one.

“Where are you?”

“I, uh.” I paused, trying to remember the address or route I’d taken to get there. I searched my pockets for the napkin but it wasn’t there.

“Tessa baby, you’ve got to talk to me before I lose my shit. Tell me where you are.”

“A party. I’m at a party.”

“A party where?”

I kicked my feet against the ground. “I don’t know. A party where there’s a house and people are drinking,” I answered in frustration.

I heard movement on the other line. “Give someone the phone.”

“What?” He couldn’t be serious. “What if they steal it?”

“Find someone who looks decent enough and give them your phone so I can get to you.”

I crawled across the ground until I reached the front corner of the house. I peeked over the edge, noticing the yard wasn’t as crowded as it had been.

“No one here looks like a decent person.” If I lost my phone, I’d be stuck there with no ride
and
no form of communication.

“Goddamnit, give someone your phone or repeat directions back to me, so I can get you the hell out of there.” I continued my crawling movement and finally managed to hold my balance long enough to lift myself up. I walked, or stumbled, my way to the front of the house and found a guy sitting on the porch steps. He had a beer in his hand and a cigarette between his lips. I glanced around the yard, but didn’t see anyone else. He was my only option unless I wanted to go back inside and that wasn’t happening. I’d just puked my insides out, and I was sure there were particles of it lingering on me. What a pretty sight.

I headed over to him warily while Dawson bitched at me through the phone. If I weren’t desperate, I would’ve hung up. My pounding head couldn’t handle his lecturing.

“Not feeling so good there?” the guy asked me.

“Will you give someone directions to come get me and not steal my phone?” I asked, getting straight to the point.

He laughed, flicking ashes from his cigarette onto the grass. “Sure, but only because you’re cute.” I stumbled up the steps, and he jumped forward to help me sit down. “You sure you’re okay? I can drive you home if you’d like?” He ran his hands through his thick, dark hair and looked down at me with concern.

“I’m fine. I have someone on the way.” I held the phone over to him, and he gave Dawson directions before handing it back to me.

“You stay on the line until I get there, okay. It should only take about ten minutes,” Dawson said when I put the phone back to my ear.

“Okay.” I heard the faint sound of his old, pick-up truck starting in the background.

“What’s a girl like you doing around here?” the guy asked, looking over at me.

“A girl like me?”

“A girl like you. You look all put together. You’re a goody-two-shoes who wants a ride on the wild side. You look too pure for this shit. You don’t get shit-faced on the regular, I can tell. Pre-warning, darlin’, all of us are fucking tainted around here. You don’t need to be around this shit. It will wipe off and stain you. And trust me, it ain’t easy to get it off once it’s there.” I kept my attention on the ground, holding the phone up to my ear, and not saying anything. “Just make this party your last, okay? I’ll consider it payback for not jacking your phone.

I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself to try to calm my shivering. He flicked his cigarette onto the ground, pulled at the sleeve of his flannel shirt, and wrapped it over my shoulders. I glanced over at him, the porch light illuminating his face, and his now bare chest. His arms and stomach were covered with colorful tattoos, works of art, and a cross necklace fell directly in between his breastbone.

I pulled the shirt tighter around my body. “Thank you.”

“I’ll wait out here with you until your ride gets here.”

We both stayed silent while Dawson kept telling me how much closer he was getting with every passing second. Our heads shot up when the truck pulled in front of us, and Dawson jumped from the driver’s side with the ignition still running. Before I knew it, my hand was in his, and I was being pulled to the street, almost falling down while trying to keep up with him.

“Shit!” I yelped, as I was picked up and tossed into the seat. He slammed the door shut behind me, circled around the truck, and got in. I looked out the window, too terrified to face him, and noticed porch guy give me a wave as we pulled away. I started to pull at a sleeve of the flannel and gasped.

“What?” Dawson asked.

“I’m still wearing that guy’s shirt,” I answered, pulling it off my body. I bunched it up into my lap. “We need to take it back.”

“Too late. We’ll just throw it away,” he said, grabbing the flannel and throwing it out of the window before I had the chance to say anything.

“What the hell!” I shrieked. “What’s the matter with you?”

“What the hell’s the matter with you?” he fired back. “Why were you even hanging out at a party like that?”

I crossed my arms across my chest. “A party like what? We go to school with those people,” I kind-of-lied. Okay, maybe a few of those people went to school with us. “And don’t act like you’ve never gotten drunk and stumbled around a few parties before. Don’t be a hypocrite.”

He snorted, turning at a stop sign. “That was different, and you know it. I wasn’t around strangers. You couldn’t even trust someone to hold your phone.”

I rolled down the window, needing some fresh air. “So what? Now all of a sudden you give a shit about me? Now you’re worried about the guys I hang out with?”

He winced, clenching his hands around the beat-up steering wheel. “Don’t start that bullshit. You know I’ve always,” he clenched his hands again, “always, cared about you. Yeah, we’ve had some arguments and some shit has happened that I regret, but that doesn’t mean for one second I’ve stopped giving a shit about you. So stop trying to make bullshit excuses for your childish behavior.”

I scoffed. “You regret it, but how many times has it happened? You can’t keep doing the same thing and then say you regret it.”

“Shit. I hate it when you have alcohol in your system,” he muttered under his breath. “You know damn well why it couldn’t happen. All it would’ve done is complicate shit.”

I threw my hands up. “Oh, so hurt me to make everyone else happy and keep your life uncomplicated.” I sunk deeper into my seat. I was sick of his crappy excuses. He’d indirectly hurt me too many times. It wasn’t anything big, but with each compromising situation we’d find ourselves in, the hurt built up as he’d pull away, and say, “this can’t happen.”

The truck was silent until we pulled in front of my house. “Selfish asshole,” I muttered, opening up the door to get out, but falling to my knees instead. Well, shit. That’s not how I’d planned my landing.

“Jesus Christ,” he said, and I heard his door slam shut. I fell back, sinking against his truck, and began swatting at the small, dirty pebbles covering my jeans at the knees.

He bent down in front of me, grabbed my arm, and tried to find a good angle to get me up. I swatted at his hands. “Get away from me.” I was being immature. I knew that. But I was drunk, and I’d never been one to get sloppy drunk, so I was blaming it on the alcohol and inexperience.

He tipped his head back and cursed to the dark sky. “Quit acting like a damn child. You’re better than this shit.” His hands gripped my wrist as I continued my struggle against him.

“I’m not doing anything,” I cried, finally giving up to my losing fight. “I’m nobody now. I have nobody now.” My eyelids began to feel heavy as tears pricked at them.