Rewriting the Rules (12 page)

“I’d like to take you out to dinner, if you’d like. Tonight would be great. We can go to Umi for sushi and hibachi.”

I think for a moment and look into those killer green eyes. It won’t hurt. We’ll drive separately and it’ll be fine. I’ll be smart about this.

“Dinner sounds great. I’ll meet you at six.”

“Sounds good, darlin.’”

We exchange numbers and I’m out the door to my car. Checking the time, I see it’s almost one and Will hasn’t texted me. Thinking a shopping day is in order, I send Jane a text and within minutes she agrees that a day at Eastview mall is definitely needed.

I meet Jane at
PF Changs
and she shows me pictures of her adorable daughter, Avery.

“She looks just like Carter.”

“I know,” she beams, and shows me more pictures. “Honestly, she’s my little love button. You should meet her soon.”

“I’d love to. And if you ever need a babysitter, let me know.”

Jane waves her hand. “We have one, but thank you so much.”

“That’s good. Maybe I can be the backup.”

“You’ll have to fight Troy for that title,” she laughs, and orders a drink leaving me stunned.

Troy.

Troy babysits Avery.

This man used to be terrified of babies and never held a baby. One time in health class he had a project to take care of a baby doll and made his mom do it for him because he was too afraid.

“Miss, what can I get for you?”

“Oh!” I snap out of my daze. “Dirty martini please.”

“Sure, right away.”

“You okay there, sweets?”

“Yeah,” I nod my head. “Just surprised Troy likes babies.”

“Nope. Just Avery. He’s her Godfather, and when they’re together, it’s just adorable. I love seeing how happy she makes him. And thank God he got rid of Andrea. That woman was a disease.”

“Oh really? I only met her once.”

Jane laughs, and covers her mouth with her napkin. “Well I feel sorry for you. Anyone who meets her turns into a mega bitch. Now, I’m from the South and I told her on several occasions, bless her heart. She thought it was a compliment! I nearly died.” Jane’s southern accent comes out and it’s too cute. I love talking to people from the south. “Well like I said, mind my manners, but thank the lord she’s gone.”

“How was their relationship?”

“Toxic,” she quickly responds. “Troy doesn’t believe in one-night stands and casual sex. He’s not like your brother or Sal.” I roll my eyes when she says Sal’s name. He’s a player with a capital P. Goodness, he annoyed me so much on the boat. I nearly slapped him for talking so much. When she compares Will to Sal it shocks me. Growing up he had girlfriends, and when I saw them together he was respectful and he didn’t have a black book full of women. Honestly, I’m grossed out and mad that my brother has sex with whomever and whenever he wants.

“But I will say when we first met there was this sadness to him. He never talked about it. It makes me happy knowing he has friends to turn to. Over the years,” she starts to say, and leans into her chair. She fiddles with her fingers and I wonder what else she has to say. “I don’t know. It’s like he’s holding onto something and can’t let go.”

“Oh.” That’s all I can say.

I park my car in an empty space and check my phone to see if Reed’s here.

Reed:
Waiting for you, beautiful.

Cheesy, but okay it’s cute.

Me:
Coming in now.

Walking inside, I spot him at the bar. He’s wearing nice fitted jeans, a button down blue plaid shirt, and his hair is nicely done. Oh my. He’s sex on a stick.

“Well, don’t you look amazing,” he tells me and leans down to kiss my lips.

Nothing. No spark. Nothing.

I clear that out of my head. The day with Jane is still on my mind so I’m not allowing myself to feel anything. Breathing in and out, I force Troy out of my head so I can enjoy this evening with Reed. My very handsome, and very single, date.

The hostess seats us with another group of people at the hibachi table and Reed puts his arm behind me, keeping me close to his body. I like how he’ll converse with the other guests and turn to me. Quickly I send Jessica an update.

Me:
So far so good.

Jessica: YAY!

“I know I said this already, but you are gorgeous. I love the dress on you.”

“Thanks,” I smile and put my phone away

I open the menu to see what looks good. In the corner of my eye I see his menu unopened and he’s looking on mine with me.

“The chicken hibachi sounds good. What do you think?”

I’m sick of chicken. Living with my health-freak brother is turning me into an eating machine. “I’m thinking the lobster and shrimp hibachi.”

Reed doesn’t say anything and I hear him clear his throat. When the server comes to take our order, we’re last to go.

“And for you, sir?”

“One chicken hibachi and my lovely date will have the lobster and shrimp hibachi.”

“Sure, sure. No problem.”

“What’d you end up doing after you left, sweetpea?”

Sweetpea?
“I’m sorry what?”

“How was your day after you left Starbucks?”

“Oh good,” I answer. I swear he better not call me that atrocious nickname again.

“After dinner we’re going salsa dancing. Dave and Heather just invited us.” I look over and smile. They seem like a nice couple, but I’m not interested. “I’m sorry, not tonight. I think after dinner I’m heading home.”

“And why’s that?” Reed asks me.

“Long day. I also have to work tomorrow morning so I need my beauty sleep.”

“Oh, sweetpea, you couldn’t get any more beautiful.” He kisses me again on the lips, still nothing and I haven’t thought of Troy.

When dinner’s over and we get the check I notice the men are taking out their credit cards, and Reed’s talking away with Heather. Grabbing the bill, I look it over and set it on the table. As I’m pulling out my card I feel his hand grab my wrist.

“I don’t think so,” he tells me and picks up the bill. “Was your dinner good?”

“Yep. Yours?”

“Very. Shoulda gotten the chicken. It was really moist and cooked just right.”

“Maybe next time,” I smile to be polite.

When everything is all set, Reed takes my hand and walks me out of the restaurant. The night air feels good on my face. Having two glasses of wine, I needed the fresh air and being out here is nice.

“I had a good time tonight. I hope you did too, Charlotte.”

“Yeah,” I lie. “So fun. It was really nice meeting you. Thank you for a wonderful date.”

He leans over and kisses me again. This time his tongue gently slides into my mouth and he holds me tight in his arms. Wow, the way his tongue moves is . . . wow.

Still no spark. This isn’t the type of kiss that means anything. Sure, it’s great and erotic, but that’s it.

“I was thinking you could come over,” he breathlessly tells me. “We can get to know each other a little more.” The devilish look in his eyes is telling me he wants to get to know more of my body and what I’m hiding underneath these clothes.

“Not tonight, Reed. I have to work tomorrow morning. It’s been a long day.”

“It’s only ten, though.”

“I know and I’m sorry. I have to get to bed. I appreciate the dinner and date. It was nice.”

“Oh, okay.” He kisses me again. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Sounds good. Have a good night.”

“You too.” He watches me as I step into my car and start the ignition. Pulling out of the parking lot I wave to him one last time and head home. The drive is quiet. I don’t have the music on and all I want is my bed.

Parking my car, I turn off the ignition and drop my head to the steering wheel. My emotions are all over the place and I feel overwhelmed with anger and sadness. I’m not sure why the hell I feel so many emotions.

Why couldn’t the date have gone well? I think I can look past the connection. I know I said looks don’t matter, but maybe I can make an exception. We need more time to get to know each other.

Then Troy comes to mind.

From that first moment, I knew I loved him. With each touch, each look, and every time we were together, it just felt right.

He feels right.

“God,” I whisper. “Why can’t I forget about you? Let me forget,” I beg, hitting my head against the headrest. “Let me forget.”

Chapter 15

Troy

I shouldn’t be here.

Why do I care so much? I shouldn’t care. I’ve done nothing but push her away and it seems to have worked.

But fuck, it hurts.

And it shouldn’t.

I wish there was an off button for emotions when it comes to Charlotte. The dangerous emotions circulating my heart force their way into the place I don’t want those emotions to be. My hate for her is slowly dying, and it’s being replaced with love and desire. It’s ripping me apart and consuming my every waking and sleeping moment. Everything I do, doesn’t matter if I’m just waking up or working out, my mind is with her. I curse under my breath and slam my hand against my steering wheel. I’m relieved she came home alone and I should probably check on her.

Only, I don’t.

I stay in my car for the next hour and make sure everything’s alright and that she’s not leaving again tonight. For the past few nights I’ve stayed in my car outside the house to make sure she’s safe. Call me a stalker or whatever, but I need to know she’s okay.

The desire for her is turning into an obsession. I’m checking her social media pages and know her schedule pretty well. When she gets to work, I know and when she leaves, I know. It’s fucking pathetic how much effort I’m putting into her and I can’t allow myself to have her. Allowing myself to feel vulnerable isn’t easy. It’s exactly what I’m trying not to do. I’m holding her at arm’s length and watching her from afar. Never again will I have her touch me, kiss me, or show me what it’s like to feel love.

Gripping my steering wheel, I take one last look at the house and head to Carter’s. I know it’s late, but fuck, I need someone since I can’t talk to Will about his baby sister.

Parking my car at the end of the driveway I text Carter and am surprised when a text comes back.

Carter:
Hey, it’s Jane. He’s passed out with Avery . . . Come in.

Me:
K.

Making my way inside, I see Jane sitting on the stairway. She smiles and wraps her arm around my waist, guiding me into the kitchen, and making me sit down. She doesn’t say anything as she grabs two mugs and prepares two cups of tea.

Jane’s the best. I talk to her about my issues and she listens, and then tells me I’m an idiot.

Setting the mug in front of me, she stands next to me and doesn’t say a word. A few moments pass and soon I’m pouring out my heart. She listens, nods, and drinks her tea as I explain what I want, and why I can’t have it, and my realization of wanting her.

“So you want her, right? And you love her?” I nod. “I get that you’re realizing all of this, but you have to possibly accept she’s really moved on.”

“I’m back and forth with her. I know I can’t be with her, and I have to let her go, but then there’s that other part of me that believes she came back for me. Every time I want to tell her how I feel, it’s blocked. The words are at the tip of my tongue and nothing comes out.”

“You’re going to have to do a lot more than just talk. I know you’ve been pining for her all these years, Troy. But you also had the chance to talk to her. I love you, babe, but you’re kinda at fault as well.”

I sit there and stare into my cup of tea. It doesn’t matter how I feel or what she feels. There are too many obstacles standing in our way. I’m going to have to figure out how to let her go completely and make her move on.

“Can I be just friends with her?”

“I think that you can, Troy. You love her so much and you want to be there for her, so be there for her. You can still love her and still be a great friend. True love sometimes takes a few chances before it can settle. Four years ago it wasn’t your time and maybe now isn’t either. Love is funny; it’s going to take you for a spin and make you believe there shouldn’t be any obstacles. It’s not true. The couples that go through the hard storms always make it out holding hands. Just give it time.”

Finishing my cup of tea, I kiss Jane on her cheek and leave to head home. I drive down the street to my empty house, and then set the keys down and walk upstairs. Jane’s words play in my head and she’s right. There hasn’t been the right time for us and maybe that’s because of me, or her, or possibly both of us. Either way, I’ll be her best friend and hope she’ll come to me whenever she needs someone because I need her in any way I can truly have her and that’s as a friend. For now.