Rex Stout - Nero Wolfe (11 page)

Her lips were tight. She was probably frowning, but the beak of her cap screened her brow. “I guess so.” She wasn't at all sure. “But maybe—if that's how you feel—maybe it would be better just to—”

“No. It's better like this. Much better. About this situation your friend thought up and claims she won the bet, it has many aspects. You say you didn't know enough about what you're supposed to do when you find a dead body. First and foremost, you're supposed to notify the police immediately. That goes for everybody, but it's a must for a private detective—me, for instance—if he wants to keep his license. Is that clear?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “I see.”

“Also you're not supposed to touch the body or anything near it. Also you're not supposed to leave it unguarded, but that's not so important because you may have to in order to call a cop. As for your idea that all she has to do is get the body out of the cab, and where would she go to ditch it, and would she have to wait until late at night, and so on, I admit it has possibilities and I could make a lot of practical suggestions. But you
have to show that it could be done without danger, and that's too big an order. That's what licks you. Forget it. However, your friend hasn't won the bet. She was to produce a situation showing that a woman cab driver runs special risks as a hackie, and in this case the danger comes from the fact that she was
not
driving the cab. So your friend—”

“That's no help. You know very well—”

“Shut up. I beg your pardon.”

Her fingers were curled into fists again. “You said you could make some practical suggestions.”

“I was carried away. The idea of disposing of a dead body is fascinating as long as it's only an idea. By the way, I took one thing for granted that I shouldn't have—that your friend specified that the woman had died by violence. If she could have died of natural causes—”

“No. She had been stabbed. There was a knife, the handle of a knife. …”

“Then it's impossible. A hackie letting someone else drive his cab is a misdemeanor, and so is driving a cab without a license, but driving off with a dead body with a knife sticking in it, and dumping it somewhere, and not reporting it—that's a felony. Good for at least a year and probably more.”

She opened a fist to grip my arm, leaning to me. “But not if she did it right! Not if no one ever knew! I told you one thing wrong—she
did
recognize her! She
did
know her when she was alive! So she can't—”

“Hold it,” I growled. “Give me some money quick. Pay me. A dollar bill, five—don't sit and stare. See that police car? If it goes on by—no, it's stopping—pay me!”

She was going to panic. She started up, but my hand on her shoulder stopped her and held her down. She opened the purse and took out folded bills without fumbling, and I took them and put them in my pocket.
“Staring is okay,” I told her, not too loud. “People stare at police cars. Stay put and keep your mouth shut. I'm going to take a look. Naturally I'm curious.”

That was perfectly true. I
was
curious. The prowl car had stopped alongside the taxi, and a cop, not the one who was driving, had got out and circled around to the door of the taxi on his side and was opening it as I reached the sidewalk. When you have a reputation for cheek you should live up to it, so I crossed to the door on my side and pulled it open. The seat was empty, but in front of it was a spread of brown canvas held up by whatever was under it. The cop, lifting a corner of the canvas, snarled at me, “Back up, you,” and I retreated half a step, but he hadn't said to close the door, so I had a good view when he pulled the canvas off. More light would have helped, but there was enough to see that it was a woman, or had been, and that the knife whose handle was perpendicular to her ribs was all the way in.

“My God,” I said with feeling.

“Shut that door!” the cop barked. “No, don't touch it!”

“I already have.”

“I saw you. Beat it! No! What's your name?”

“Goodwin. Archie Goodwin. This is Nero Wolfe's house, and—”

“I know it is. And I know about you. Is this your cab?”

“Certainly not. I'm not a hackie.”

“I know you're not. I mean—” He stopped. Apparently he had realized that the function of a prowl cop on finding a corpse is not to argue with onlookers. His head jerked around. “Climb out, Bill. DOA. I'll call in.” The cop behind the wheel wiggled out, and the one in command wiggled in, and I mounted the stoop and sat
down beside my client, noting that she had removed the cap and apparently had stashed it.

I kept my voice low, though it wasn't necessary since the cop was talking on his radio. “In about eight minutes,” I said, “experts will begin arriving. They will not be strangers to me. Since as far as I know you merely came to get me to tell you how to win a bet, when they start asking questions I'll be glad to answer them if you want to leave it to me. I've had practice answering questions.”

She was gripping my arm again. “You looked in. You saw—”

“Shut up, and I don't beg your pardon. You talk too much. Even if I still lived and worked here we wouldn't go inside because it wouldn't be natural, with cops in a prowl car finding a corpse in a taxi parked at the curb—oh, I haven't mentioned that, that there's a dead woman in the taxi. I mention it now because naturally I would, and naturally I would stick around to watch developments. I'm talking to keep you from talking, since naturally we would talk. Not only have I had practice answering questions, but I know some of the rules. There are only three methods that are any good in the long run. You have strong fingers.”

“I'm sorry.” Her grip relaxed a little, but she held on. “What are the three methods?”

“One. Button your lip. Answer nothing whatever. Two. Tell the truth straight through. The works. Three. Tell a simple basic lie with no trimmings, and stick to it. If you try a fancy lie, or a mixture of truth and lies, or part of the truth but try to save some, you're sunk. Of course I'm just talking to pass the time. In the present situation, as far as I know, there is no reason why you shouldn't just tell the truth.”

“You said to leave it to you.”

“Yes, but they won't. There are very few people in their jurisdiction they wouldn't rather leave it to than me, on account of certain—here they come. We can stop talking. Naturally we would watch.”

An official car I had seen before rolled to a stop behind the prowl car, and Inspector Cramer of Homicide West climbed out.

If you are surprised that an inspector had come in response to a report that a corpse had been found, I wasn't. The report had of course given the location, in front of 918 West 35th Street, and that address held memories, most of them sour, for the personnel at Homicide West, from Cramer down. A violent death that was in any way connected with Nero Wolfe made them itch, and presumably the report had included the item that Archie Goodwin was present and had stuck his nose in.

My client and I watched the routine activities from our grandstand seat. They were swift, efficient, and thorough. Traffic was detoured at the corner of Ninth Avenue. A section of the street and sidewalk was roped off to enclose the taxi. Floodlights were focused on the taxi and surroundings. A photographer took shots from various angles. Pedestrians from both directions were shunted across the street, where a crowd gathered behind the rope. Some twenty city employees, in uniform and out, were on the scene in less than half an hour after the cop had made the radio call—five of them known to me by name and four others by sight. The second floodlight had just been turned on when Cramer came around the front of the taxi, crossed to the steps
and mounted the first three, and faced me. Since I was sitting, that made our eyes level.

“All right,” he said. “Let's go in. I might as well have you and Wolfe together, and this woman too. That may simplify it. Open the door.”

“On the contrary,” I said, not moving, “it would complicate it. Mr. Wolfe is in the office reading a book and knows nothing of all the excitement, and cares less. If I went in and told him you wanted to see him, and what about, you know what he would say and so do I. Nothing doing.”

“Who came here in that taxi?”

“I don't know. I know nothing whatever about the taxi. When I came out it was there at the curb.”

“When did you come out?”

“Twenty minutes past nine.”

“Why did you come out?”

“To find a place to spend the night. I have quit my job, so if you're determined to see Mr. Wolfe you'll have to ring the bell.”

“You're telling me you've
quit?
”

“Right. I don't work here any more.”

“By God. I thought you and Wolfe had tried all the wrinkles there are, but this is a new one. Do you expect me to buy it?”

“It's not a wrinkle. I meant it. I wouldn't sign a pledge never to sleep here again, that depends on Mr. Wolfe's handling of a certain problem, but when I left the house I meant it. The problem has no connection with that taxi or what's in it.”

“Did this woman leave the house with you?”

“No. When I opened the door, coming out, she was coming up the stoop. She said she wanted to see Nero Wolfe, and when I told her I no longer worked for him, and anyway he probably wouldn't see her, she said she
guessed that for what she wanted I would be better than him. She offered to pay me fifty dollars for consultation on how to win a bet she had made, and we sat here to consult. We had been here fifteen or twenty minutes when the prowl car came along and stopped by the taxi, which had been standing there when I left the house, and naturally I was curious and went to take a look. The cop asked me my name and I told him. When he went to his radio to report I came back to my client, but we didn't do much consulting on account of the commotion. That's the crop.”

“Had you ever seen this woman before?”

“No.”

“What was the bet she wanted to consult about?”

“That's her affair. She's here. Ask her.”

“Did she come in that taxi?”

“Not to my knowledge. Ask her.”

“Did you see her get out of the taxi?”

“No. She was halfway up the stoop when I opened the door.”

“Did you see anyone get out of the taxi? Or near it?”

“No.”

“What's her name?”

“Ask her.”

His head moved. “Is your name Judith Bram?”

That was no news for me, since my view through the open door had included the framed picture of the hackie and her name. As well as I had been able to tell in the dim light, the picture was not of my client.

“No,” she said.

“What is it?”

“Mira Holt. Mira with an I.” Her voice was clear and steady.

“Did you drive that taxi here?”

“No.”

“Did you come here in it?”

“No.”

So she had picked method three, a simple basic lie.

“Did you have an appointment to see Nero Wolfe?”

“No.”

“Where do you live?”

“Seven-fourteen East Eighty-first Street.”

“What is your occupation?”

“Modeling. Mostly fashion modeling.”

“Are you married?”

“Yes, but I don't live with my husband.”

“What's your husband's name?”

She opened her mouth and closed it again. “Waldo Kearns. I use my own name.”

“Are you divorced?”

“No.”

“Was that taxi here when you arrived?”

“I don't know. I didn't notice, but I suppose it was because it didn't come after we sat down.”

“How did you come here?”

“I don't think that matters.”

“I'll decide if it matters. How did you come?”

She shook her head. “No. For instance, if somebody drove me here, or near here, you would ask him, and I might not want you to. No.”

So she also knew what “no trimmings” meant.

“I advise you,” Cramer advised her, “to tell me how you came.”

“I would rather not.”

“What was the bet you wanted to consult about?”

“That doesn't matter either. It was a private bet with a friend.” Her head turned. “You're a detective, Mr. Goodwin, so you ought to know, do I have to tell
him about my private affairs just because I was sitting here with you?”

“Of course not,” I assured her. “Not unless he shows some connection between your private affairs and his public affairs, and he hasn't. It's entirely up to you whether—”

“What the devil is all this?” Nero Wolfe bellowed.

I twisted around and so did my client. The door was wide open and he was standing on the threshold, his bulk towering above us. “What's going on?” he demanded.

Since I was merely an ex-employee and Cramer was an inspector I thought it fitting to let him reply, but he didn't. Apparently he was too flabbergasted at seeing Wolfe actually stick his nose outdoors. Wolfe advanced a step. “Archie. I asked a question.”

I had stood up. “Yes, sir, I heard you. Miss Holt, this is Mr. Wolfe. Miss Mira Holt. When I left the house she was coming up the steps. I had never seen her before. When I told her I was no longer in your employ she said I would be better than you and asked to consult me. She had paid me. We sat down to confer. There was an empty taxi parked at the curb, no driver in it. A police car came along and stopped, and a cop found a dead body, female, in the taxi under a piece of canvas. I was there looking in when he removed the canvas. I came back up the stoop to sit with my client. We recessed our conference to watch the proceedings. Officers arrived promptly, including Inspector Cramer. When he got around to it he came and questioned us. I knew nothing about the taxi or its contents and said so. She told him she had not driven the taxi here and hadn't come in it. She gave him her name and address and occupation, but refused to answer questions about her private affairs—for instance, what she was consulting
me about. I was telling her that was entirely up to her when you appeared.”