Authors: Ena
Tags: #love, #forgiveness, #relationship, #marriage, #family, #reconciliation, #time, #ministry
“Don’t you have a date?” I divert her
attention.
She smiles as she says, “In fact, I do
have.”
“Who is it this time?”
“Someone new. You don’t know him.”
“That’s novel. Not from school?”
“Nope.”
“L, will you ever stick with one guy and go
steady with him? You’re always dating, but you’re never serious
with anyone.”
I am a bit worried about her. I want her to
have someone like Grant. She’s fond of dating different men almost
every day. One week is the longest that I thought,
this is
it
, but poof—no. Well, I can’t dictate her. All I can do is
influence her, so everyday I try to do or say things that might
instruct her heart and brain to engage in a serious relationship. I
don’t want her to reach the point that it’s a little bit too late
to prepare for a family life. I know that my point of view about
relationships and family changed the moment Grant asked me to marry
him.
Wow. I’m going to get married.
“Sheesh. I’m only twenty, Rip. What’s the
rush?”
“Are you saying that Grant and I are kind of
rushing things?”
“No. Your story is different. We’re
different.” She lets out a pent-up breath. “Besides, I haven’t met
my Grant yet.”
“L, dating men once or twice wouldn’t work if
you’re finding someone like Grant. Remember that he pursued me for
a year. Anyway, I don’t want to tell you what to do. Just remember
that I’m always here for you, okay?”
She nods just the same time as Grant
arrives.
“You ready, ruby?” He’s euphoric about this
certain surprise he has for me.
“Yup. Bye, L.” I wave at her.
“Bye, Mr. Surprise. Take care, ruby.” She
giggles, but I know that our conversation unnerves her.
Grant
“So, what is it this time? Any clue?” Rhy
finally asks as she closes the door of their dorm.
“I just hope that you’ll love it,” I tell her
honestly. I am not sure if what I’ve prepared for her is something
she’ll appreciate; nonetheless, I want to give it a shot.
“I love all of your surprises,” she
asserts.
Oh, if you only knew.
I don’t answer because I’m praying silently
that she’ll love even this.
“Wait. We’re not riding your truck?” she asks
when she notices that my truck isn’t in its usual spot.
“No. We’ll go to my dorm first, then after
there, you can decide where to go next,” I tell her
ambiguously.
She grins. “Okay, whatever you say,
love.”
I feel apprehensive as we come closer to my
dorm. The surprises I have for her are waiting inside. We’re only a
few steps away, but I still don’t know how to present it to
her.
“You getting something inside?” she
interrupts my thoughts.
“None, but my surprises are there, waiting
for you.”
“C’mon, then!” She excitedly leads the way.
She opens the door before I can engage her in some pep talk. “Papa?
Mama? What are you doing here?” She exchanges look between her
father and mother who stands upright the moment Rhy opens the door.
They appear more worried than excited.
Rhy eyes me, waiting for an answer.
“Rip, I invited them.”
“Why?” She sounds hurt, and before I can
explain, she’s turning to walk away.
“Rip, wait. Please. Just listen.”
“Grant, I didn’t expect
that
. This is,
by far, your worst surprise. Them? Really?” She can’t hide her
disappointment. I can’t blame her, but I need to at least make an
effort.
“Babe, c’mon. They are still your parents no
matter what they did in the past. Please, just give them some time
to talk with you. Please?” I beg, praying silently that she will
cave in my request.
I know how Rhy is deeply hurt by the
abandonment of her parents, but I want to give them a chance at
reconciliation. I want her to have the chance to tell them
everything she feels and to listen to them, whatever explanation
they may have. I am doing this mostly because I want Rhy to feel
the peace the reconciliation will certainly bring before we start
our own family.
“Rhy . . . please? Please? Please?” I plead
until she says . . .
“Okay, fine. I’m doing this for you, Grant.”
She sighs, despondent. “I don’t know what to say to them. I don’t
know how to move around them. I don’t know what to do, Grant.”
“Don’t worry, Rip. I’ll be there with you.” I
let her settle herself before leading her back to the dorm. “Let’s
go?”
She nods and follows me.
Rhythm
Grant leads the way, and I aimlessly follow
him.
The moment I enter the door, both my parents
stand up, expectant but hesitant.
“Is this supposed to be a reunion or
something?” I try to calm down but could not.
“Rhythm, honey . . . how are you?” Mama asks
sincerely.
“Why do you care? Do you even care? I don’t
know what Grant told you to make you come here, but I don’t think
you’re here to ask me how am I,” I spit out.
“Have a seat, please,” Grant intervenes.
Mama and Papa take a seat on the couch where
they were seated when we arrive. Grant and I sit opposite them.
“Rhythm, we know that we haven’t been the
parents we ought to be, but now we’re trying to be. Grant is
generous enough to let this moment happen. Please, forgive us,
darling, for all the years that have gone, for everything we didn’t
do for you. Forgive us for abandoning you. Forgive us, baby,” Papa
says with tears in his eyes.
I look at Mama and catch a glimpse of her
crumpled face because of crying.
“Sorry, honey, for leaving you on your own. I
didn’t know how to handle my emotions at that time that I messed up
being a mother to you,” she pauses to heave a sigh. “Look at you.
You’ve grown to be a fine young woman. I regret the days that I
wasted. Please, forgive me and your father, Rhythm.”
Grant nudges me when I go stiff, and I notice
that there are also unshed tears in his eyes.
My tears remain controlled as I say, “Look, I
don’t understand why you left me—both of you. Is there something in
me that says ‘leave me alone’? Because people tend to do just
that.” I look back at Grant. “Well, except for Grant.”
“Darling, I have a family.”
“And what, I’m not part of it? Just because
I’m your daughter with another woman, besides your wife, you
excluded me in the list of your family?”
“It’s not that. Of course you are my family.
I just thought that by staying away, I would avoid sinning against
my wife again. I didn’t realize that in that process, I’m sinning
against you. I believed that if I just give your financial needs,
you’d be okay, that I’d be a fine father, but I was wrong. Totally
wrong.”
“Yeah, I needed more than your money,” I
confirm.
“Grant asked our permission to marry
you—”
“I said yes already,” I disrupt Papa on what
he is about to say.
“Yes, we know, but we still want to give you
both our blessing, as your parents.”
Mama adds, “That’s right, honey. We like to
guide you as you prepare for your own family life.”
I can’t help but snort. “You? Guide? Family
life? Seriously?”
I don’t know about them, but I am not
delusional to ask for guidance about family life from someone who
failed in that aspect.
Questions. Will you go to an engineer if your
tooth aches? Will you go to a lawyer if you need an airline ticket?
Will you go to a restaurant if you need a house? Will you go to the
police station if your car won’t start? Okay, enough. I think I
made my point.
So, really? They will guide me in preparing
for my family life?
“Okay, I know what you’re thinking, Rhythm.
Erase that part. Just let us start in being a parent to you once
again, and forgive us, please?”
Then I have a flashback of what happened
three days ago to Kendra, one of the nicest people I know. She
found out that her father died in a heart attack, and what’s worse?
She didn’t get to hear her father ask her forgiveness, and he
didn’t get to hear her forgive him.
A week before he died, he was trying to reach
out to Kendra, but for some reasons, he couldn’t. He tried to reach
out to Kendra’s best friend instead to ask her a favor that she
teach him how to use the email, where he intended to communicate
with his daughter. On the day of his death, Kendra’s best friend
was calling him to continue their tutorial, but he never answered.
He was alone in his house and was having a heart attack during the
call. Kendra’s best friend went to check on him and found his
lifeless body holding a beautiful white dress of a baby and a
picture. In the picture are him and Kendra who was wearing the
dress he was holding. The four words written at the back of the
picture ripped my heart.
My princess turns 1.
“Rip, you okay?” Grant takes me back to
reality.
I don’t realize that I am sobbing in front of
them, but I do realize something. Grant is right. Whatever they may
have done, they are still my parents. And I don’t want it to be too
late for me, just like what happened to Kendra.
I quickly cross the short distance to hug and
tell them, “I love you so much Mama, Papa. I miss the both of you.
So much, and yes, I forgive you. I forgive you.”
They squeeze me as we cry.
Grant
“I’m sorry to break the moment, but . . . do
you want to eat? At DINER?” I ask them.
“Yes. At DINER,” Rhy quickly answers.
We eat until we are full—full of hope, joy,
happiness, love . . .
As I observe Rhy, I can see a difference in
her. Peace. There’s a peace in her heart that emanates from her
face.
“Bye, Mama, Papa.” Rhy hugs the both of them.
“See you soon?”
They nod.
“Take care, Rhythm. We love you,” her dad
says.
Her mom adds, “And of course, thank you,
Grant, for letting this happen. We owe you so much.”
“Thank you, too, sir, ma’am.”
“Oooh . . . what did we tell you? Call us
Mama and Papa, remember?” Rhy’s mom reminds me.
“Oh, yes. Bye, Mama. Papa. Be safe on your
way home.”
They wave until their car is just a
speck.
“So . . .” I say.
“So. I take it back,” Rhy interrupts.
“Take what back?”
“This isn’t the worst surprise ever. It’s by
far the best.”
“Baby, that is the most original thing you
said. Every surprise I have for you is the best.” I grin. “At least
this becomes worst first before becoming the best.”
She laughs at my lame comment. “Thank you,
Grant. So much.”
“You are welcome, love.”
“Will you marry me, Grant Tyler
Peterson?”
I chuckle. “Where’s the ring?”
“Here.” She acts as if she’s holding
something.
“That may be the most expensive ring there is
on planet earth,” I tease her.
“You bet. Now, will you?” She fakes an
agitated look.
“I will. Definitely will.”
Rhythm
One of the preparations we make before the
wedding day is not just what the naked eye can see. We don’t just
prepare for the wedding gown, the suit, the venue, the invitations,
the guests, and the so and so forth of a wedding day. Grant and I
both agreed to attend seminars, counseling, read books, listen to
audios, and watch videos that talks about what to expect
after
saying ‘I do’. What many soon-to-be-married couples
tend to overlook is that the
I do
part is not the happy
ending—it is just the beginning.
So, here we are at the Love Language seminar
we signed up for a few months ago.
“Welcome! To the Love Language seminar,” the
hostess enthusiastically greets us. “I am Amanda, your hostess for
the day.”
We clap as she pauses.
“As you can see, there are only ten pairs in
attendance—twenty people. That is not a mistake. We are limiting
this kind of seminars to few attendees so that we may be able to
attend to your questions or needs more personally and efficiently,
so don’t be shy to ask questions or raise any thoughts because it
might help the other couples as well.” She fixes her gaze at us one
by one then continues, “Is there any questions at this point in
time?”
No one raises a hand, so she says, “This
seminar is based on the book of Gary Chapman entitled
The 5 Love
Languages
. Our speaker has attended this exact seminar to be
equipped for this kind of seminar, and most importantly, to build a
thriving marriage and family. Okay, without further ado, let me
introduce to you our speaker. He’s been married for thirty
years—with the same woman,” everyone laughs then she resumes, “has
four kids, and seven grandchildren. He is best described as a
family man. His credibility to lead this seminar lies not on his
achievements evidenced by any paper or title, but on his
achievements evidenced by his experiences. Please welcome, Mr. Q
Roberts.”
Everyone applauds as someone, who looks
younger than his age, appears.
“Thank you, everyone, for coming. Also,
please thank yourselves; pat yourselves on the back because you
allowed something like this help you in your marriage, or for some
of you, including this seminar in preparation for your
marriage.”
We do what he told us and compose ourselves
once we are done.
“There will be four parts in this seminar.
First, you will take a certain test to know what is your love
language or languages. Second, I will discuss the five different
love languages for you to understand them better. Third, we will
compute the results of your tests, and you will discuss it with
your spouse or soon-to-be spouse. Share your results with them.
Then finally, we will proceed to the Question & Answer portion,
the last part. Any clarifications, advices, or thoughts you have,
please share in our final part,” he pauses. “Any questions?”