Ride On (30 page)

Norman gave the other two a thumbs-up. Jimmy felt the weight dropping off him like a sodden coat.

Aesop was in Cork.

‘So come on,' said Jimmy, as soon as Norman rang off. He was jiggling about. ‘What's the story? He's down there? He's okay? What happened yesterday?'

‘He called Helen yesterday around lunchtime and told her he was coming down. She told him not to go to all that trouble, because it wasn't going to work out between them. She'd made up her mind.'

‘Fuck.'

‘Yeah, well he must have flown down, cos he met her anyway at about seven in Kavanaghs. He didn't want to hear it over the phone.'

‘Right. And then?'

‘And then she told him that she was after hooking up again with Davey Molloy. That's the ex, remember? Apparently he's on the wagon now after seeing Aesop on the stage that time and the way Helen was with him. So he's going to the meetings, off the drink completely, working hard in his job and playing out of his skin on the park without losing the rag with every fucker that comes near him. Anyway, they all reckon he's a new man. She wants to give it another go with him.'

‘Jesus. Aesop must be fucking gutted.'

‘He wasn't happy. Stayed back in the pub on his own and got trolleyed for two hours. Then he got a bottle of Jameson and went back to the cottage.'

‘How did he get in?'

‘He had keys, didn't he? From the last time. I don't remember him giving them back.'

‘So that's where he is, then? Dying with a heartbroken hangover in your Granny's place?'

‘Yeah. Probably.'

‘So call him.'

‘There's no land line there, Jimmy. Sure the house isn't used that much. It'd only be a waste of money to have a line active. We're stuck with his mobile, and the langer has it turned off, doesn't he?'

‘Right. Yeah. Well anyway, Jesus, that's good, right? We know where he is.'

‘Yeah. We know where he is. But it's not good. He's on his own down there with no one around.'

‘But sure, wasn't that the reason yiz went down there in the first place? No one knows about it. He's grand. He just needs to sober up and turn his phone on. He's might even be on his way back up here right now.'

‘Yeah, probably.'

‘Aw … thank fuck. I'm telling you, I'll bleedin' kill him when I see him. The bloody idiot doing that to us. I'll kick the arse off him.'

‘You'll have to get in line,' said Dónal. ‘Because I've got a new pair of walking boots that I need to break in. And I don't even want to think about what Sparky's going to do to him.'

The tension was gone out of the room now. It was all deep breaths, shaking heads and sheepish grins. Except for Norman. He was still quiet and the colour hadn't come back to his face yet.

‘You all right man?' said Jimmy.

‘Not really, Jimmy. I fucked up. She's gone.'

‘She just needs to cool down. I'm telling you man, you should have heard me and Sandra back when I was going out with her. I don't even know how many rows we had over stupid stuff, but then we'd both calm down and everything would be grand after a bit. Everyone needs to let off a bit of steam. It's probably only your first row, isn't it? Just give her a bit of time.'

‘Time won't do it, Jimmy. Because she's right. I am a fucking freak. I couldn't just be happy that everything was going great. I have this fucking … thing in me that gets all mental and has to go looking for things to mess it up. I mean, once I got it in me head that her and Aesop … I just couldn't let it go. It didn't matter what anyone said. It didn't matter that I knew she really liked me or that Aesop knew I'd pull his head off his shoulders and punch the fuck out of it. Didn't matter. I
knew
nothing was going on. I knew it and then I decided that something was going on anyway. Ran over to his gaff expecting to see them at it. Then I went over to her place. And this is what happens. She's better off.'

‘Ah, shut up, will you?' said Jimmy, ‘Look, you were a bit jealous. Who the fuck doesn't get a bit jealous?'

‘You don't.'

‘What? Of course I do! Jesus. Everyone does. You were just a bit thrown because Aesop was gone and then Trish turned up at the wrong time when we're all trying to figure out what was happening. It's nothing, man. Call her later. I know what happened. She turns up here to surprise you and then finds you all bent out of shape. She wasn't expecting to walk in on all the shit that was going on here, was she? She thought you'd be chuffed to see her. She was just upset.'

‘Yeah. And then I go and accuse her of lying to me and riding Aesop on the sly. Like she hasn't put up with enough shit from me and fucking Aesop? She's better off. I'm bad news, so I am.'

‘Will you shut fucking up, Norman? She's lucky to have you and she knows that. Go over with a bottle of wine and a big apology and tell her you're a gobshite and you'll never do it again.'

‘But I will!'

‘You won't! After this? Jesus, Norman, the next time the little green bastard taps you on the shoulder, you just keep your fucking trap shut and you'll be grand!'

‘But how am I meant to do that when I'm going mad inside?'

‘You practise! Christ man, if you give vent to every thought that occurs to you when you're with a bird, you'll never get a minute's peace! Dónal, tell him!'

‘Aw Jesus, lads, don't involve me in all this,' said Dónal, backing away with his hands up.

‘But you're married.'

‘Yeah.'

‘And am I right?'

‘About what?'

‘About keeping your gob shut sometimes when you're with your woman.'

‘Oh fuck, yeah,' said Dónal. ‘You're right about that. Absolutely.'

‘See?' said Jimmy to Norman. ‘And he knows what he's talking about.'

‘Wha … hang on,' said Dónal, frowning. ‘What's that s'posed to mean, Jimmy?'

‘Hmm? Oh. Nothing. Just that you've had a lot of experience with being in a relationship.'

‘What's wrong with Mags?'

‘Nothing! What? Nothing's wrong with Mags, Dónal. I'm just saying, sometimes when you're with a person, it's better to keep quiet than say every little thing that pops into your head.'

Dónal nodded slowly, looking at him.

‘Right.'

‘It's probably the same for women, Norman. What kind of home life would Dónal here have if all he ever got all day long was “take your shoes off … I saw you looking at her tits … what's wrong with the steak … turn off the football … is that you I smell … why do you hate my Ma … I wonder how much beer went into the size of that belly … but
why
do you love me … distinguished my arse – fat and bald, more like … you're wearing
that
jumper … ” Y'know what I mean? No one would ever last more than a fortnight, Norman. Okay? So the next time …'

‘Hang on a fucking minute now, Jimmy,' said Dónal. ‘What are you on about?'

‘What? Nothing. I'm just saying, like.'

‘Saying what?'

‘Just that, y'know, sometimes you need to keep quiet.'

‘Right. I think this might be one of those times, Jimmy.'

‘Oh.'

‘Fuck sake.'

‘Sorry.'

‘Mags does a great steak.'

‘No, Dónal, I wasn't talking about Mags.'

‘You were!'

‘I wasn't.'

‘And I've always had thin hair.'

‘It was just an example of the kind of …'

Norman stood up.

‘Yeah, thanks for that lads. But I need to get to Cork.'

‘What?' said Jimmy. ‘Now?'

‘Yeah. Now.'

‘Why?'

‘Because I need to know he's all right and I don't know that yet.'

‘But … you think there could be a problem in Cork?'

‘Not really. But it's not my job to play odds. I'll drive down. You call me if he calls and I'll turn around.'

‘But … are you sure?'

‘Yeah.'

‘I thought things were grand now.'

‘They're better. But not grand. Not yet.'

Jimmy checked his watch.

‘What time will you get there?'

‘I know the roads well. I'll be grand.'

Dónal walked over to the window.

‘I don't think so, Norman.'

‘What?'

‘Look out there.'

Norman and Jimmy went over to him and looked out the window. It had finally started. The snow that everyone had been talking about for ages was finally putting in an appearance. An inch of fluff already covered everything and it was coming down in huge thick waves now, blocking out anything that wasn't just a couple of metres away.

‘Look at it,' said Jimmy. ‘But … it's not that deep yet. It's only starting.'

Norman shook his head.

‘I'd never make it. That's down for a while.'

‘Could you fly?'

‘Maybe. I'd get to Shannon or Cork if the airports were open, but the roads down around Granny's are … I wouldn't get much further than the airport.'

‘What are you going to do?'

‘Hang on. I'll check the forecast on the computer in there.'

He went off into the control room and was gone for five minutes. When he came back he was scratching his cheek.

‘No good. It's down until about midnight they say. Fuck.'

‘So what do we do?'

‘Two things. First thing is that we hope he calls. Second thing …'

Out came the phone again.

‘I'm calling Mikey Pat to look in on him. He only lives a couple of miles down the road. At least we'll know then that he's safe before we go down there and kick the bollocks off him.'

‘Is it snowing in Cork too? Did you check?'

‘Started two hours ago. Hang on …'

When he was done he put the phone back in his pocket.

‘Mikey's up in Charleville. It'll take a few hours now with the weather to get home, but he said he'll drop in to Granny's on his way past.'

‘Okay. Well, there's nothing else we can do now, is there?'

‘Not really,' said Norman. ‘Except go home. Because getting out of the city is going to be murder if we don't go now.'

‘Yeah. Okay,' said Jimmy. ‘You're probably right. I'll call Shiggy and Sparky and tell them we'll lock up here and we'll call them tomorrow. I'll tell them what's going on. And I'll cancel with Leet for the morning too until we sort this out. That okay with you Dónal?'

Dónal wasn't listening.

‘Dónal?'

‘Hmm?' said Dónal.

He was looking down at himself and rubbing one hand up and down his belly.

‘Fuck sake, Dónal,' said Jimmy. ‘I never said you were fat!'

*

Norman called Jimmy at home at around eight that night.

‘Jimmy?'

‘Heya. What's the story? Is Aesop okay?'

‘Listen man, Mikey Pat got stranded in Kanturk. He's staying in a mate's tonight. The roads are shocking he said and he can't get home. He probably went a bit further than he should have as it is.'

‘Bollocks.'

‘Yeah. He said he'd try in the morning. It's meant to clear up a bit by then he'll give me a call when he gets there.'

‘Okay. Well, fuck, there's nothing we can do, is there?'

‘No. Not really. We just have to wait. But at least Aesop'll have to stay put wherever he is. He won't be able to get about either.'

‘Yeah. All right. Well look, I'll be up early. Just call me when you hear from Mikey.'

‘Will do man. Seeya tomorrow.'

‘Good luck. Eh … Norman?'

‘Yeah?'

‘Any word from Trish?'

‘I haven't talked to her.'

‘Right. Listen, give her a bell.'

‘Ah, I don't know …'

‘Norman, I know what I'm talking about. Believe me, I've spent enough of me life staring at a phone and not picking it up. Just call her. Right? You two are good together. You'll sort this out.'

‘Yeah. Well thanks Jimmy. I'll think about it.'

‘Okay. Seeya so.'

‘Cheers.'

Norman had been thinking about little else. Now that they had a good idea of what had happened to Aesop, all he could do was curse himself and the fucked-up bit of him that made him lose all reason. It had probably always been there. Losing his Dad and then moving to Dublin hadn't exactly been a barrel of laughs. Putting up with being called names over his size and his accent almost from the day he'd arrived in the city had made him liable to get angry the odd time, but then he'd become a soldier and the next ten years had seen what used to be a fringe part of his make-up become honed and sharp. It had probably saved his life a few times back then, but it was nothing but a fucking awful hindrance back in the real world where everyone lived their lives by different rules.

Jealousy was a new aspect of it. He'd never really been in a position to be jealous before. It's not like he'd had loads of girlfriends. But Norman recognised it as all being part of the same thing. Mollified by a few pints, surrounded by friends, occupied by his job or immersed in the daily goings-on of his life, no one would have suspected it. But inside him was a tight red coal of anger. Always. It never went away. The day he stepped off the plane after coming home from Afghanistan he thought that would be the end of it. He'd seen enough of what feeling like that could do to people and he was sure he'd made some kind of peace. But he'd had dreams that very night and it was still there the next day, only worse.

Only Trish had cooled it. Those times when there was nothing in his head only her and how lucky he was. He couldn't feel it then.

He called her. It took half an hour to push the button, but he did it.