Riding on Air (12 page)

“You must think I'm weird.”

William laughed, one of those explosive ‘ha' barks that sounds more like anger than humour. “I have lots of thoughts about you, but that you're weird is definitely not one of them.”

It was my turn to shrug and feel uncomfortable, although underneath that was a prickling thrill that tightened the skin on the back of my neck as I wondered just what those thoughts might be. I tried not to show any of this on my face as I pretended to watch Jinx walk around the yard and racked my brain over what to say next. Maybe I could just ask the obvious question.

“So, er, what do you think of me? When you think of me. Not that I'm assuming you think of me. Or, not a lot at least. I mean, you said you thought of me.”

William tilted his head and that slow grin emerged across his face.

“You sound about as messed up as I feel.”

I let out a nervous giggle and Jinx abruptly halted, tilting his head to eyeball me as if asking whether I meant for him to stop.

“Sorry Jinx,” I muttered and lifted the whip to send him on again. I realised I'd totally lost track of how many times he'd gone around the yard in that direction and hastily stepped in to turn him. He swung around, pivoting on his hindquarters with a snort as though he was offended.

Not that I really thought he was offended. That would be thinking my horse had a human brain, which was a really quick way to ruin your training. I hadn't thought of my horse as a person in years, or not in any way related to my training with him. That didn't mean he didn't have a very definite personality.

The distinctive clack of the round yard gate closing made me start and Jinx lifted his head, slowing down and trying to peer behind him. I quickly brought my attention back to him, stepping forward with my whip raised to send him confidently forward again.

I heard the faint scrunch of boots in the loose sand of the round yard and turned my head to see William coming across the yard. While I'd been distracted by my boyfriend, my horse had gotten confused and now while I'd been distracted by my horse, my boyfriend had snuck up on me.

Instantly sweat broke out on my neck as my temperature shot up a number of degrees. The whip handle rolled greasily in my swollen fingers. I instinctively tightened my grip then, with a bitten-off cry of pain, corrected myself so the whip dropped to the sand.

“Shit,” I hissed in mingled annoyance, nervousness and pain.

William bent to retrieve the whip and just as Jinx was slowing down again, his head swinging uncertainly, William stepped smartly up to my shoulder and raised the whip with purpose.

“Trot on,” he said, voice low and firm. Jinx responded swiftly, surging forward into a lovely ground-covering trot. He stretched his neck down and snorted, not in an I'm-feeling-fresh way, just in that good, deep nostril-clearing way horses did when they were relaxing into their work.

“Sorry,” William said. “I shouldn't have come in and distracted him.”

“You distracted me,” I said, putting my hand out for the whip.

William flicked it idly at Jinx to keep him going then looked at me. As his dark blue eyes met mine I forgot to turn automatically with Jinx as he circled the yard and almost plaited my feet together. William's free hand moved out to grip my arm and I righted myself, dizziness spinning my vision.

“How do you do that?” I asked him

“Do what?”

“How do you know to grab my arms but never my hands? How do you know it's safe to touch my elbows or my knees, yet be so careful with my shoulders? And you never, ever forget and grab my hands.”

“I dunno,” he said, looking surprised.

“You don't even realise you're doing it, do you?”

“Not exactly.”

I flicked a glance at Jinx, still circling the yard obediently, although the ear he had cocked towards us proved he was still watching us. Then I looked back up at William.

“What do you mean?”

“I care about you. Of course I'm going to try not to hurt you.”

My skin tingled.

“Yes, but how do you know where I hurt and where I don't? Even my best friends sometimes forget.”

“I doubt they've been watching you like I have.”

Watching me. Oh. My skin actually crawled, tightening up over my upper arms and along the back of my neck, my hair rising stiffly.
He'd
been watching
me
?

“No way,” I said rapidly. “If you'd been watching me I'd know about it.”

“Way. I've been watching you for ages.”

“Don't mess me around, Will,” I stammered, turning and taking a few steps away from him. “Whoa,” I said abruptly to Jinx, but he flicked his ear and scooted off as if I'd told him to go. I looked back over my shoulder and saw that William had trailed after me and Jinx had taken the whip he carried as a sign to move his butt.

“Whip, please,” I said, then blushed horribly when I realised what I'd said. William raised his eyebrows suggestively and seemed about to say something, something cheeky no doubt, but then he looked closely at me and his face changed. He held the whip out, still staring at me when I took it and turned back to re-establish proper communications with my horse.

“Why do you have such a hard time believing it?”

My back resolutely to William, I shrugged. “Because it isn't true,” I said, pleased that my voice sounded reasonably calm even though my throat had practically choked on disappointment and confusion. One minute he seemed so genuine, the next he was trying to bullshit me with a line. This was not what I'd expected of William. Not after the way he'd been treating me this past week.

A week. Had it really been only a week? It seemed like so much longer.

“And walk,” I said to Jinx, my body angled passively away, the whip held low. Jinx decided to believe me this time and slowed down obediently to walk. I gave a gentle swirl of the whip to make sure he was walking with energy, then I asked him to whoa again. Jinx stopped, stepping energetically right into his halt to finish with his hocks well under him and all four feet marking the corners of a square. Perfect.

“Good boy,” I said, dropping the whip and going in to give him a pat. I turned him back into the centre of the round yard so he knew the session was done. It was a good way to end the workout and he definitely seemed calm enough to give me a good ride, now.

“It is true, Melissa.”

“Actually I know it isn't.”

“Yeah, how's that?”

“Because if it was true I'd know. I'd have caught you looking and I never have, not any of the times I—” I shut my mouth in a hurry, alarmed at how close I'd come to giving myself away. I reached for the reins looped around Jinx's neck, but two big hands closed around my arms, stopping me in my tracks. Will turned me to face him.

“Say it,” William urged, but I shook my head. I looked down, too afraid to meet his piercing gaze.

“You mean, you would have seen me because
you
were watching
me
?”

I drew a breath to lie, then couldn't use it to form the words. William might be telling me bullshit, but I discovered there was no way I could do the same. And wasn't there a part of me that was wishing, that had fingers and toes crossed, hoping that maybe he wasn't full of it? Hoping he wasn't throwing out a line and fishing for something flattering from me, but speaking a truth he'd been holding in his heart, just like I had.

“Were you really? Because I know for a fact that I've been snatching looks at you as often as I could without your stepbrothers catching me at it. I knew they'd kick my butt if they caught me perving on you before you were sixteen.”

I gazed fiercely up at him.

“Don't say something like that if you don't mean it. You've got no idea how much I want to hear it.”

Light suddenly blazed in his eyes before, just as quickly, they darkened.

“I hope you really mean that,” he said. I became conscious that he'd taken his hands off my arms and slid them across to my shoulder blades. I could feel his palms there like two hot plates resting either side of my spine. Ridiculously, it made me shiver, as though I'd been doused in cold water.

“I do,” I said and wondered whether his mouth ever went ahead without his brain's permission, like mine had just done. Maybe that was exactly what had happened to him a moment ago. It would explain a lot.

“Me too,” he said. I looked up into his beautiful face, at the deep blue eyes gazing down at me. I reached up and touched my fingers carefully to the delicious curve of his lips. They moved softly under my fingers, pressing a kiss to them as light as the fleeting steps of a butterfly. The strength ran out of my body like water from a bath. I couldn't believe that I had let my ugly fingers anywhere near his gorgeous face, but that he could press his lips to them in a kiss was utterly amazing.

William drew me closer and leaned down to follow up that butterfly kiss with his mouth on mine in a way that almost 100 per cent convinced me he meant every word he had said. I knew then that I was his, absolutely, forever.

As his mouth moved on mine and the heat of his hands travelled towards my waist, I thought hazily that it just depended now on whether he was truly mine. But then that thought drifted away and all that mattered was William and me, here, in this moment. At least for now.

“That's very good, Eleni, you have been practicing.”

I glanced across to the end of the arena, where Eleni was actually glowing for once under the praise of the instructor as she rode a very nice shoulder-in on her horse. Actually, Eleni might have been mostly shiny with sweat—it was pretty hot—but she definitely looked pleased with herself. And why not, she worked hard enough.

Eleni was one of the few going well today; our first pony club rally since camp. In the morning's session even the horses and riders that usually went around like high-precision machines had been struggling. It didn't help that it was hot and muggy, clouds gathering low over the escarpment. There were storms predicted for later in the afternoon and everyone was edgy. The instructors were distracted, keeping an eye on the weather, all the riders seemed to have back-to-school blues and the horses were tail-swishing, fidgety, unexploded bombs. Horses that were usually hot were boiling over. Horses that were usually a bit reluctant were jacking right up and putting in the odd buck. Even the ‘bombproof' kids' ponies seemed to have bugs up their butts; I'd seen Carly Morris's pony go cantering past earlier—shaggy Shetland mane and tail swishing, empty stirrups bouncing—as she headed back to the yards after dumping Carly.

Jinx wasn't immune to the widespread flightiness, although so far he'd behaved himself reasonably well. Despite this, I could feel the tension radiating from him and he was too easily distracted by other horses. Basically, he was anxious and on the lookout for anything scary and I'd had to work hard all day to keep his mind in the job. Horses are prey animals and they have a herd attitude, so they are big believers in safety in numbers and doing what all their friends are doing. It was no surprise to any of us that the horses were catching the fidgets from one another.

The fact it was stinking hot wasn't exactly helping my concentration, either. I was also tired from staying up too late watching DVDs with William. But no, I wasn't going to think about that. I wasn't going to think about him or how it made my heart clench in my chest like a molten fist whenever I thought about him. I wasn't going to let my mind drift back over sitting curled up on the couch with him for hours eating junk food and watching new release movies that I would have to see again because I barely took in a single scene. And I definitely wasn't going to think about the deliciously strange sensations that shivered through me every time he touched my hair or kissed me.

I turned Jinx through the middle of the arena where I was circling with the others in walk, waiting our turn to go for individual work with our usual dressage instructor, Helen. I couldn't help a tiny mental shudder whenever I thought of her as Helen; she is Tash's Mum and therefore had been Mrs Blundell for so long that it was hard to shake the habit. My Mum had been big on kids addressing other adults respectfully, as if they were all teachers, and I was still stumbling over the more relaxed habits at pony club.

I used my arm to swipe some sweat off my face and wondered how Tash was going in her jumping lesson. She argued so badly with her mu—Helen—during pony club she'd been put into a different training group. Fair enough I supposed and anyway, her dressage wasn't anywhere near the same standard as the rest of our group. Tash just didn't care what her horse did between the jumps, as long as she cleared the jumps themselves.

I turned my head, making sure I could hear what Helen was saying to Eleni. She was so experienced I didn't want to miss out on some titbit that might help me with Jinx. I squashed a disloyal wish, one I'd had a thousand times, that Helen was my Mum so I could have her training me all the time. And I'd have the pick of all those beautiful warmbloods; just imagine what riding one of those in a dressage test would be like.

“But I love you best, don't I Jinx?” I murmured, a sliver of guilt worming its way into my belly. I put my reins carefully in one hand and leant forward to rub the heel of my other hand gently along Jinx's neck. It was true, I did love him; he was the best. I still couldn't believe sometimes how far he'd come since I first got him. He was such a good horse.

I flexed my fingers gingerly, stifling a wince. If only my stupid hands would cooperate. I was always reluctant to blame the weather for the state of my hands, it sounded too much like woo-woo, but they sure weren't happy. They were hot and tight. My joints burned. It felt like I was trying to ride in oven gloves.

“Melissa, your turn,” Helen called.

I took the reins back into both hands and re-established proper contact with Jinx, then turned him onto the track to the other end of the arena. Helen studied us with a critical eye when we circled around her and before we'd gone round more than a couple of times, she was frowning.