Righteous Lies (Book 1: Dancing Moon Ranch Series) (23 page)

...we'll take things one step at a time...

Which was
exactly what she intended to do. Starting with red wool socks to keep Jack's
feet warm, and a fire burning on the hearth when he came in from the cold, and
the smell of bread baking in the oven. And now, as his wife, a whole lot of
lovemaking...

Even Jack
seemed to be in a better frame of mind by morning, arriving with a dozen red
roses for her and a smile on his face, and even giving her a little kiss on the
lips.

"You look
better this morning," he said. "How's my boy?"

"Full.
Finally. He had no problem emptying out a breast in record time, and then he
fell asleep halfway through the other. I'm a little lopsided at the
moment." She started to add that another baby would take care of the
problem, but decided to set aside the idea of adopting Marc's son, at least for
the moment. She wanted to enjoy her new family. "It's okay if you wake him
up and hold him," she said. "He'll go back to sleep afterwards."

Jack smiled and
lifted Adam out of the crib. Bracing his head, he sat on the chair by Grace's
bed, cradling his son the way only a father who'd handled a baby would do. It
saddened Grace to think that Jack was probably remembering Jackie. How could he
not? He was still a devoted father to his dead son, tending his grave with love...

"His eyes
are wide open," Jack announced, and smiled down at his son. "I can
tell from the way he's looking at me with a little frown that he recognizes my
voice."

"I'm sure he
does," Grace said, smiling at the way Jack was looking at his son, with
absolute, unwavering love. It was a special moment, seeing Jack so happy. She
hadn't seen him that way since she'd met him, and she wanted to keep that
happiness on his face forever...

"Hello?"
a voice came from the hallway, breaking their special moment.

Grace looked up
to see the man from the laboratory...

And the look on
his face said it all...

His words,
"He's not a match," confirmed it.

When Sam
stepped into Grace's hospital room, just over an hour after Grace and Jack
received the news that Adam wasn't a match, Jack knew something was drastically
wrong. He walked over to meet Sam, and said, "What's happening?"

"It's
Susan. She's in labor," Sam said. "The shock of learning the baby wasn't
a match sent her into hysterics and she broke her water. Labor started right
after."

"Where's
Ricky?" Jack asked.

"That's
another problem," Sam said. "He's in the children's wing. He might
need another transfusion. Man, I don't know whether I can take much more of
this." He lowered himself into a chair, shoulders slumped, and drew in a
long, ragged breath.

Jack crouched
in front of Sam and looked at him. The past few months had taken its toll. Eyes
shadowed by dark circles. Lines of worry around his mouth and between his
brows. Even a dusting of gray hair appeared at his temples. He'd also lost
weight. Jack noted it earlier in the week from the way his clothes hung on him.
But Sam's problems weren't confined to the issues with Ricky and his failing
health, coupled with an unwanted baby. The marriage was in serious trouble.
Things hadn't been good between Sam and Susan for years, but the current
problems added weight to an already bad situation...

"What can
I do?" he asked.

Sam shook his
head. "Hell, I don't know. Maybe go sit with Ricky. I have to get back to
the labor room. Susan was pretty unstable going into this and now with little
hope for Ricky... " He paused and drew in a long breath, then let it out
slowly, his shoulders seeming to slump further as he exhaled. "We're still
planning on sending the baby's cord blood in for testing," he added,
"but that's pretty much a dead end. So I guess Ricky goes back on the bone
marrow list."

Jack looked at
Grace with Adam, who'd just been fed and was sleeping comfortably in his
mother's arms. How blessed could a man be? A healthy son, perfect in every way.
And Grace, the kind of mother he could only have dreamed about for his son. And
she was his wife now. But while he was blessed, Sam was going through hell.

Sam looked at
him intently, and before he even asked, Jack shook his head, and said, "I
won't do it again. I was willing to donate the first time, but Susan can't
handle another child. She's having one right now she doesn't—"

"Just stop
right there!" Sam cut Jack off short. "Susan said some pretty
disturbing things a few days ago, but she's gradually becoming resigned to
things. She actually wants the baby."

"Did she
say that?" Jack asked, dubious. For years, Sam had been defending Susan's
actions and rationalizing her behavior. Suddenly becoming maternal for the
child of a stranger was not likely at this late date.

"Well, she
didn't say it in so many words," Sam admitted, "but she's talking
about how to introduce him to Ricky, since Ricky's been the complete focus of
our attention for three years. She's adjusting to it. Hell, look what I'm going
through, and I'm not having the baby. Sure she's unsettled right now. But
things will change when we're back home."

Jack glanced
over and saw Grace glaring at him...

...talk to Sam... tell him we'll take the
baby...

Grace might as
well be yelling the words, it was so clear from the look on her face.

Still, Jack
couldn't bring himself to ask Sam if they could adopt. All he wanted was to
take Adam and Grace home and start building a life with them. Just them. He
wanted to put all his energy into his son, and make sure Grace didn't get
overwhelmed with things when she got home. She'd need time to adjust to being a
mother, and to being a wife again. But in the meantime, Susan was giving birth
to a child she didn't want, and she and Sam could lose the only child they had,
and if Ricky didn't get a bone marrow transplant his only hope was another
savior sibling. And that was something he wouldn't do. Not again.

He stood, gave
Sam a pat on the shoulder, and motioned for him to join him in the hallway. Once
outside the room, he said to Sam, "When you get home, help her with the
baby and get Mom to help too, at least with watching Ricky so Susan isn't
overwhelmed. But she'll adjust. Look how she adjusted to all the problems with
Ricky. She'll come around with this baby too. If she starts to show signs of
depression—" Jack stopped. He still couldn't bring himself to say,
Grace and I will take the baby
. "—you
can look into having a doctor put her on an antipsychotic medication.
Postpartum depression's a chemical imbalance," he said, parroting what
Lauren told him. But he didn't believe postpartum depression would be the issue
with Susan. Wanting nothing to interfere with her life was more likely.
"Let's just wait and see what happens when the baby's born. He'll be a
healthy, happy baby."

"He's also
the son of a dead man," Sam said. "Susan can't seem to put that
aside. This lab mix-up really screwed her up. And I need to get back to the
labor room now."

"I'll sit
with Ricky," Jack said. "Hang in there, bro. Things will turn
out."

But as he
watched his twin walking away, head down, shoulders slumped, Jack saw a
defeated man.

***

Two hours
later, Sam, looking even more strung out than before, came to Grace's room and
announced to Jack and Grace in a sober voice, "He was born a few minutes
ago, weighing in at eight pounds, four ounces, twenty one inches long, and
bald. But he's healthy and alert, and has blue-gray eyes. The doctor prepared
the cord blood for the lab."

"That's
great news," Jack said. "And Susan?"

"Not so
good," Sam replied. "When they gave her the baby to nurse she told
the nurse to put him on formula, that she was too tired to nurse him." Sam
slouched into the chair. "She didn't even hold him... just said she would
later, that she wanted to see Ricky. So the nurse took the baby to the nursery
and they wheeled Susan to Ricky's room. She's still there."

Grace said to
Sam, "What did you name him?"

"That's
another problem," Sam said. "We didn't come up with anything, and
Susan just told me to name him whatever I wanted."

"Then how
about Marcus Allen Hansen?" Grace suggested. "He was supposed to be
Jack's child, and he ended up being Marc's, so that would give him Jack's
middle name." She looked at Jack, who she knew wasn't fooled by her ploy.
But when he drew in a long breath and said nothing, she knew he wasn't going to
challenge her.

Sam shrugged.
"That's fine. I'll tell the nurse. She was wanting to put something other
than Baby Boy Hansen on the birth certificate."

"What
about circumcision?" Grace asked.

Sam shrugged.
"We hadn't thought about that."

"Then
don't. There's plenty of time," Grace told him. "And don't put him on
formula. I have way too much milk and he needs first milk. I'll nurse him along
with Adam. I want to do this for my husband's baby." She caught the dark
look on Jack's face and realized what she'd said. Marc was no longer her
husband. Jack was, and it was clear that Jack felt as if he'd been shoved
aside.

"I didn't
mean that the way it sounded," she said. "You're my husband now, but Marc
was
my husband and I still have to
think of him that way because he was never my ex-husband. It's kind of
complicated, but he doesn't replace you now." That still didn't come out
the way she intended, other than it was complicated.

"It
doesn't matter," Jack said, in a morose tone, which made Grace realize it
did matter...

It mattered
because... maybe Jack was beginning to care for her...

Sam squeezed
Grace's shoulder. "Thank you," he said. "When Susan's feeling
better I know she'll want to take over, but for now the baby needs to be held.
I'll have the nurse bring him in."

"And his
crib," Grace added. "He needs to be with us."

A few minutes
later, a nurse rolled in the crib and handed the baby to Grace, who opened her
gown. When she pinched her nipple and put it in baby's mouth, he clamped down
and started sucking. Grace looked at his face, features so unlike Adam's, but
not really Marc's features either. And his eyes, though not a true color yet,
would not be brown. But they didn't appear to be clear blue like Marc's. Maybe
gray, or a combination of muted colors… like Susan's, Grace realized with a
little twist in her stomach, and shoved that thought away. And his hair...
Typical Templeton baby. Bald. But when he did get hair, she hoped it would be
closer to Adam's.

Jack stood
looking at her for the longest time before dragging a chair close to the bed,
and saying, while watching Marc suckle, "Just don't get too attached to
him. If Susan wants him back, there's nothing you can do."

Grace said
nothing, but after a while, as she watched the babies nursing, she said in a
reflective voice, "All I ever wanted when I was growing up was to be a
wife and mother and have six children. Having Marc would give me two, so I'd
only have to go through this four more times." She looked at Jack and
added, "Unless you can give me twins. But next time you will not get me
pregnant by depositing sperm in a cup." Subtlety had never been her strong
suit.

But from the
look on Jack's face, it was obvious he had misgivings about that too, and she
knew exactly why. So when the time would finally come that they'd consummate
their marriage, she'd make it absolutely clear to Jack that he was not lacking
in any way. But looking at him now, so handsome, so virile, and imagining that
big husky body wrapped around her in the most intimate way, brought her to a
level of sexual anticipation that pretty much guaranteed complete and total
satisfaction.

***

The following
morning, after the doctor checked Grace and signed her release from the
hospital, and the pediatrician checked both babies, Grace and Jack stopped in
to see how Ricky was doing before leaving the hospital. Sam had stopped by the
day before to thank Grace for taking care of Marc, and to ask if she and Jack
could look after him for another couple of days until Ricky would be released
from the hospital. He'd had another transfusion and was being held for
observation. They were also waiting for word from the laboratory, but held
little hope that little Marc's cord blood would be a match.

When Grace and
Jack entered Ricky's room, and Grace saw the toddler lying in a child-size bed
with railings, he looked small, and very ill. His eyes were closed, and there
were dark circles under them, and his face and lips looked deathly pale. Sam
sat on one side of the bed, forearms resting on his knees, fingers laced
together, and Susan sat on the other side, her arm stretched between the rails,
her hand rubbing Ricky's chest.

Grace, with Marc
in her arms, walked over to Susan, and said, "How is he doing?"

Susan shrugged.
"He'll be better after the transfusion kicks in. I'm anxious to get him
home where everything's familiar... his own doctors, his own room, my folks."

For the first
time, Grace saw Susan as a caring mother sitting by her critically ill son's
bedside, stroking his chest, worry on her face. But she was devoted to only one
son. It was still inconceivable that she felt nothing for the baby she'd carried
for nine months, and which Grace held in her arms, just inches from his mother.

As if sensing
Grace's misgiving, Susan turned and looked at Marc, then reached out and
touched his cheek, a little brush of her finger, and said, "It's good you
have enough milk for him. I was so upset about Ricky, my milk never came in.
He'll have to go on formula when we get home, which is good, because Sam can
feed him then."

And Susan
wouldn't have to, Grace interpreted the underlying message.