Ripped (31 page)

But there was more to it than that, because I felt a kinship for him. He was like the brother I’d never had—albeit a bratty little brother who was always getting into trouble.

And, of course, neither of us had a mother that we could tattle to on the other, which meant that in a situation like this, we had to sort out the problem on our own.

“Where is she?” I said in a hoarse voice.

He just smiled.

“Did you kill her?” and my voice broke. “So help me, Frazier, if you killed her, I will end you.”

He cocked his head to one side. “You wouldn’t. We’re the same, Cade. We both know it. If you kill me, you’ll be all alone. You wouldn’t do that, and I would never really hurt you either.”

“But you are, though, Ice,” I said. “You’re hurting Shell, and that hurts me.”

He scuffed his toe against the floor. “You like her more than you like me, don’t you?” He was whining a little.

“God damn it, Ice, where is she?”

He laughed. “She ruined everything.”

“No, you ruined it. Because we aren’t the fucking same, Ice. I’m not nearly as twisted as you are.”

“You’re weak,” he said in a low voice. “Infected with caring, like the rest of them. I care about you, Cade, but you’re worthy of me. That girl, she’s not. She’s just like all the others.”

After Ice’s father killed his mother, his father went to jail. And Ice was shuffled around from relative to relative like me. No one could handle him, though. And then his grandmother had a stroke, and she was the only one who would still allow him in her house. So little Frazier went to foster care. He was six years old. He had it worse than me, and I always felt bad for him. Like maybe now I could make it better. I could take care of him, and I could fix him.

But he wasn’t fixable. It went too deep.

“She ruined us,” Ice said again.

“Ice, I’d already kicked you out before she showed up. This has nothing to do with her, so just tell me where she is.” And don’t let her be dead. Or too badly messed up.

He lifted his chin. “She’s dead. I already killed her.”

I wasn’t prepared for the rush of despair that filled me at his words. It was crippling, and I actually stumbled, hardly able to keep my balance.

“I did it fast. That should please you,” he said in a quiet voice, almost a purr. “Just a bullet to the back of the skull execution-style. She’s gone now, and there’s no reason why we can’t be—”

I dove onto him, not even mindful of the fact that I was holding a loaded gun and that I could have blown him away. This was too personal, and I needed my hands on him. I needed to feel it when I squeezed out his life.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Cade

Ice struggled, knocking the gun out of my hand.

I didn’t care. I wanted my hands around his neck.

But he blocked me. He fell onto his back, but he brought his knee into my stomach.

It caught me hard, knocking the wind out of me, and I grunted, floundering.

He grabbed me by the neck, then, and he slammed me into the ground

Now I was beneath him, and he was over me, hands around my neck, his demented freckled face looming over mine. “I had to see if you’d do it. I had to know,” he was saying.

I wasn’t listening to him. He was making it hard for me to breathe, but that wasn’t going to stop me. I put my hands over his hands, and I started to pry him away from my neck, finger by finger. I bent back his fingers, bent them back as far as I could.

He shrieked in pain. “I didn’t kill her, Cade. I didn’t kill her. I couldn’t.”

I froze, gazing at him. What kind of trick was this? Was he saying this to spare his own life?

“She’s pregnant,” said Ice.

And I let go of him.

He rocked back on his knees, massaging his hurt fingers. “I couldn’t kill a mother. You know that. You know me.”

“Where is she?” I said, getting to my feet.

He pointed. “She’s in the bathroom.”

I staggered across the room and threw open the door he was pointing at. There she was, huddled under the sink, tied there, a gag in her mouth.

“Shell?” I whispered.

“I’ll leave her alone now, I promise,” said Ice from behind me. “I didn’t know about the baby. If I had known, I wouldn’t have taken her. But this is going to change everything between us, Cade, and I don’t—”

“Shut up.” I didn’t look at him, I just gestured behind me. My voice wasn’t steady. I dropped to my knees in front of Shell, and I yanked the gag out of her mouth. “Did he hurt you? Did he
touch
you?”

“Did he say the test was positive?” she said. “He wouldn’t let me see it, and I didn’t know, and he tied me up here. Did he say I was pregnant?”

“Are you
okay
?” I said. Geez, we could worry about that in a second.

She nodded.

I finished untying her. I helped her stand up. I put my hands on her face, and they were shaking as I brushed her sweaty hair away from her features. Fuck. I pulled her close.

She clung to me.

Together, we made our halting way out of the bathroom.

Ice was looking at his shoes, the expression on his face like a scolded toddler. “You’re angry, Ripper, and I know I shouldn’t have—”

“You leave us alone.” I put my finger in his face. “You never come near me or her ever again.”

“Never come near you?” He looked so hurt.

Damn it. I shut my eyes for a second. Then I opened them, taking a deep breath. I gave Shell a gentle shove toward the door. “Wait for me outside.”

She gave me a funny look.

I crossed the room and scooped my gun up off the floor. “Outside, Shell,” I said.

“Cade—”

I turned to her sharply, and she stopped speaking. She nodded and headed for the door.

“Listen, don’t be angry, Ripper,” said Ice. “I know I crossed the line, but you liked her so much, and she was so yummy looking. I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to hear her scream.”

I nodded. “I know, Frazier. I know.” I crossed to him, and I opened my arms to him. “Come here. Come here, little brother.”

His face twisted, like he might cry.

I was starting to feel a little choked up too.

He walked into my arms, and we embraced.

I stroked his hair, just like he was a little boy. “You can’t help it,” I whispered. “It got in you too young. Or maybe there’s just too much of your father in you. I don’t know. But you can’t help it. And you won’t stop.”

He hugged me tight. “It’s in you, too.”

“No,” I said. “No, I don’t think it is.”

And then I brought the gun up between us, settling it under his chin.

His eyes widened, alarmed.

“I’m sorry, Frazier,” I choked. “Just… just go to sleep, okay?”

And I pulled the trigger.

* * *

Shell

Cade told me to leave, but I watched it from the doorway. I watched him shoot him. I watched him slide to the ground with the body. I watched him cradle it and cry.

When he came out, he was covered in blood, but I didn’t care. I threw my arms around him.

He held onto me like I was his life jacket and he was adrift on a choppy sea.

“He was your friend,” I whispered.

He buried his face against my shoulder. “He was my enemy.”

“But you were close to him. Closer than you are to anyone else.”

He raised his face to look at me. “No. I’m closer to you.” He touched my face.

And he kissed me.

We held onto each other, outside that broken-down building, half of the windows busted out, the Florida sun beating down on our bodies, the air full of the smells of sweat and blood and guns discharging. But in each other’s arms, we found a sweet oasis of calm, of goodness.

He pulled back slowly. “I’m a mess. I’m getting you all messy too.”

“I don’t care.” I clutched him fiercely.

He rested his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry about all this.”

“It’s not your fault.”

He kissed me again.

I was lost to the sensation of it.

He kissed my chin. He kissed my forehead. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I thought you were dead, and it nearly destroyed me.”

I looked into his eyes. “I shouldn’t have run off like that. Sable told me it was a bad idea, but I was too upset.”

“Whatever she told you about how I feel about you, you have to know that it isn’t true. I care about you. I love you.”

I felt weak. I was glad I was holding onto him, because I didn’t know if I could have held myself up. “I love you too,” I murmured, and I knew it was true, as crazy as it seemed.

“I want… I want us. I want this. I don’t know how it works, but I want it.”

I smiled. “Yes.”

“And the baby. I want…” He bit his lip. “But if you don’t want it, I understand.”

“No, I want it,” I said. “I thought that even if I didn’t have you, if I could have your baby… I mean, that sounds pathetic, and I’m not pathetic—”

“It doesn’t sound pathetic.” He kissed me again. “It sounds amazing. It sounds really good.” He grinned. “We’ll make it work, somehow, then.”

“Yes,” I said again, grinning too.

And then we were kissing again.

He pulled away, running a hand through his hair. “God damn it, this scene is messy as fuck. I’m going to have to clean it up. My DNA is everywhere. Your DNA is everywhere. I’m going to have to douse this place with bleach.”

“I’ll help,” I said.

He shook his head. “Don’t be crazy. Pregnant women shouldn’t be around bleach fumes.”

* * *

Shell

Pregnant women shouldn’t have lunch meat, either, apparently, as I found out when I wanted to stop at Subway, and Cade said that was a terrible idea. He was an encyclopedia of this stuff. Apparently, he’d read up on it. I couldn’t have soft cheeses. I couldn’t eat sushi. And worst of all, I couldn’t get in the hot tub. Apparently, the temperature was too hot, and it could upset the delicate balance in my womb.

Cade took me back to his house, which was already completely repaired when we got back, since he’d called contractors to work on it while we were in Florida. But I couldn’t get in the hot tub, which was annoying.

Cade said he’d make it up to me and he took me in to his bedroom where he began slowly removing every shred of my clothing and kissing me wherever he bared my skin.

I let myself get lost in that for a little bit. His hands were clever, and I was happy to have him do what he wanted with me.

I closed my eyes, sighing as he kissed the inside of my knee.

“Better?” he said.

“Much.”

“See? Being pregnant isn’t that terrible.”

I opened my eyes and propped myself up on my elbows. “Are you kidding? It already sucks, and I’ve still got nine months to go.”

“It won’t suck.” He kissed the top of my knee. “I’m going to wait on you hand and foot, and go get you whatever disgusting food you’re craving at two in the morning and worship the ground you walk on.”

I snickered. “Ooh, well the tables are turning, aren’t they?
I’m
ordering
you
around?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Within reason. As long as you admit that I’m in control and come whenever I tell you to.”

I flopped back on the bed. “In a few months, I’ll be too huge for sex anyway.”

His hands snaked over my panties and under my shirt to brush my belly. “No such thing.”

“You say that now, but when I am lumbering and disgusting and the size of a planet—”

“No way, it’ll be sexy as hell.”

I propped myself back up again. “You’re insane.”

He hooked his thumbs under my panties and began to drag them down my body. He kissed my left hip bone, and then my right hip bone. “I might be insane. That might be true. I still think you’re going to be hot when you’ve got a big belly.”

“No, you don’t.”

He kissed me right below my belly button and then planted a kiss on my mound. “I can’t wait, honestly. I promise to help you rub cocoa butter on it every night, and then I’ll rub you lower and lower and lower…” He chuckled wickedly.

“Really? You’re really going to do that?”

He kissed the outside of my labia, just over my clit. “I want to see you like that.” His voice had gotten husky.

There was a little thrill in my sex. I sighed, and I opened my legs to him.

He kissed my clit. Licked it. “Just thinking about it is getting me kind of aroused.”

I would have probably burst out with some kind of denial, but the way he was licking me felt too good for me to do anything other than moan.